Friday, May 08, 2009

Ask a Korean! News: The Best of the Worst

Dear readers,

The Korean receives a lot of questions. In the 2.5 year history of AAK!, the Korean has answered more than 1,000 questions publicly over the blog and privately over the email.

Among those, there certainly are some questions that are total head-scratchers. The Korean simply deleted them at first, but at some point the Korean began to collect them for entertainment value. Now that the collection is at a good size, the Korean can share an exquisite sample of those questions. These are all real emails from real people.

Um, What do You Need??

Hi, Where can I find older korean sexual tapes? Are there some on the market?

- H. Blash

Hi, My name is Phil, I live in Paris, France. Could you please help me: I 'm looking for some typical korean gay web sites? Could you give me some web sites adresses / URL. I love korean guys. You are so beautilfull all of you korean guys! I'm looking for KOREAN web site with gay porn pics and vids. Thank you very much.

- Phil

Ask a Korean! is NOT Korea Living Assistance!

Hello, I am going to the Incheon airport tomorrow, and I need to ask a bus driver this question: "Does this bus go to Bucheon?".

I think it is this 이 버스는 부천에 갈 수 있습니까? bus I am not sure. Is this correct? Or is it too formal?

- Ian K.

When and where is the queer festival for 2009? Thanks!

- Tiffini B.

Dear Korean, My friend and I are coming to Soeul for a few days around Christmas, from Tokyo, where we live. What should we do? Where should we stay? We are poor, and we want to have random adventures! Can we stay with you? If you come to Tokyo, you can stay with us!

- Yelena

Does the Korean SOUND Like a Treasure Hunter??

Hey the Korean, I find your site incredibly enlightening and although this isn't quite your area I thought you might be able to help. I have been looking forever to find the dojang for the poet Kim Sowol. [Emphasis added by the Korean. Dojang = "stamp"] It is driving me nuts. I have searched in English, getting absolutely nothing relevant (it doesn't help that it is some kind of popular martial arts). My searches in Korean also have not been great (I learned Korean to do research on the DPRK, but my skills with google are pretty useless). I feel like I should just give up because it isn't all that important, but I have spent so much time that I feel like it was a waste. If you don't know where I could look can you give me an idea of whether this is publicly available, I assumed as in the west that signatures of writers and artists would be well known, but maybe I misunderstood. Thanks for all the hilarious and serious answers you give.

- Kate

Right, Because the Korean Knows Every Single Korean on Earth, Past and Present...

Dear Friend,

I am trying to contact my friend Mesuk Ahn that once lived in Gaithersburg, Maryland and worked in Waldorf, Maryland in the USA. In January 2003 she returned to Korea and I lost contact with her. She was born October 17, 1977 and she is from Seoul, Korea.

- Jim H.

Hello there, My name is Jimmy and I need to know if Korean women keep their last names( as do the Vietnamese) when marrying an american. Also, if I were looking for a friend from 1965, any idea how to begin. Thanks.

- Jimmy L.

WAAAAY Too Much Information, Thanks

Hiya,

I would like to know if Korean guys find it a turn-on or are just generally cool with their women vomitting on them. The reason I ask is because I've watched a view Kdramas and in almost every one of these the girl always vomits on the guy. I know that whatever comes off TV is not reality and in my experience quite the opposite of reality; does this mean that Korean women wished their men were cool with it because they're actually not?

I hope I made sense.

- Anonymous Coward

Dear Korean,

im 21 and pregnant. i only like korean guys though. if i hunt for an outcasted, fatter, balding, older one, would i yet stand a chance at marriage? or is that taboo to get with a knocked up white girl? im cute.

ahhh korean korean. its not you i really want... its ur moms kimchi.. how can i reach her..?? T T

- Audrey E.

hi, im currently trying to start back up in school, i was in korea for almost 2 years( U.S Airforce) my biological mother is korean, and still lives in korea, she is still ill, i still have my dream of living in korea, work wise of course the only thing i could think of is teaching english in korea if i wanted to live there. Im wondering how difficult it would be to move to korea to live for good. when i was there for my u.s aiforce tour i really enjoyed it there, made lots of friends and got back in contact with my mother. I i figured if i lived there i would be able to see my mother as much as i wanted. (she is currently in a busan hospital, been there for the passed 8 years, so they have said) Another thing is on teaching english in korea alot of my friends say getting my education is not a really big deal (korean american friends), Alot of them have dropped out of college and left to go teach english in korea. i would greatly appreciate any answers on how to maybe get korean citizenship. and how important is my education just to teach english in korea as perhaps a permenant job.

- Danny P.

No, Thanks. The Economy is Not THAT Bad Yet, and the Korean is Waiting on Random House

Hi Korean,

I am a publisher of internet dating websites and I am constantly looking for high quality writers to produce articles. I stumbled upon your blog and enjoyed reading your style of writing. If you are interested in writing dating issues specifically pertaining to Korean dating culture, please drop me a line. Looking forward to your favorable reply.

best regards,

- Tim K.
[Company name redacted]

Hey Korean,

my name is BlueMystery and I'm a dating coach for PickupAsia (www.pickupasia.com).

I want to give you an interview about dating in the country you are currently blogging about, or give you the chance to share your opinion on 'professional dating companies' in Korea (which is something new since you've been here in 2001) or even if they are needed. I want to give your readers some insight on what it takes to meet and date women of Korea so that they can live happier lives, if that's something that is even possible.

Our company has been serving clients since 2007 and have recently been on a T.V interview in Hong Kong (we'll send you a link as soon as we get it in mid-April. We also already have a format for questions which you can refer to if you'd like.

Looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Regards,

- BlueMystery

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com. (But for God's sake, think about it for a few minutes before you send it.)

12 comments:

  1. Speechless. And so glad none of my questions made the list :-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Danny P. wrote:
    hi, im currently trying to start back up in school, i was in korea for almost 2 years( U.S Airforce) my biological mother is korean, and still lives in korea, she is still ill, i still have my dream of living in korea, work wise of course the only thing i could think of is teaching english in korea if i wanted to live there. Im wondering how difficult it would be to move to korea to live for good.

    TheKorea, I hope you didn't advise this guy that he can come and teach English on an F4 visa, because he probably can't. Unless they changed the rules, you must be a former ROK citizen or the descendant of a former ROK citizen. If this guy's mother is still a ROK citizen, then he's not eligible.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Kushibo-

    The guy should be able to get an overseas Korean visa (F-4, like you said) since the international adoption process breaks that bond and his biological mother is no longer his "mother" by law. (Although the writer of the letter clearly considers her as one of his mothers). Adoptees are eligible for this visa.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh my!! no, they really wrote this? They really asked this? I can't believe it!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. taobenli, I think you're right that he is eligible if he is an adoptee.

    Frankly, I was reading this as his parents being divorced, but on second read, yes, he could be an adoptee who has reconnected with his biological family.

    When I was in Korea I helped a lot of people of full or partial Korean ancestry get F4 visas, but I quickly discovered that a lot of people you would think are eligible are, in fact, not. Because of the former ROK citizenship requirement.

    If I recall correctly, then, adoptees are eligible because they were in fact born as ROK citizens, but as adoptees they switched their citizenship.

    At any rate, most overseas Koreans are NOT eligible for F4 visas, but most kyopo in Western countries are, but certainly not all.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Classic stuff, Korean.

    In fact, I myself have always wondered about the existence of gay sauna (or 찜질방) in Korea, and if not, whether there are some 찜질방s that secretly turn into such gay-friendly establishments during the daytime when there are few customers around. =)

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm pretty sure the "queer festival" is in Insadong yearly. I forget what its real name is.

    ReplyDelete
  8. This is yet more proof that fact is stranger than fiction. I'm specifically thinking about that knocked up White girl (hey, I'm cute!).

    ReplyDelete
  9. the queer festival begins may 30th i think. I didn't think it was a stupid question.

    Here's a link with the info www.kqcf.org the website is in korean and english.

    ReplyDelete
  10. f**k those are hysterical. I can't believe so many idiots exist out there!!!
    You must have such fun reading these questins some time!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Queer festival question wasn't necessarily bad -- it was just the tone of the question, as if the Korean was Google, spitting out the right answer when some words were punched in.

    ReplyDelete
  12. "I want to give your readers some insight on what it takes to meet and date women of Korea so that they can live happier lives" this sounds like mail order bride agency....

    ReplyDelete

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