Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Best of the Worst 2009

Here is another round of the best of the worst emails sent to the Korean, with the Worst Email of 2009 Award at the end. Again, these are all real emails from real people, with absolutely no edit other than adding the first name.

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We have a Korean American lady here at work that is very friendly um she always smiles at me and waves but carefully
 I am not sure if she is interested or just being extra nice her face seems to light up when I am around and she always makes prolonged eye contact she is attractive and I am sure she probably could get a date quite easily more in her age
 I  would love to be better friends with her but just think it would be odd  since I am about 20 years older than her I am not sure what to make of it  sure I  am very attracted to her  but I don't get to close cause I an 46 and she is 27 
we are both single but I was raised a catholic witch always make you feel guilty for being attracted to some that much younger   I will probably never approach her because of this and Its been a very long time since I asked any one out on a date or to  her ask if she is interested  and  we don't bump into each other  every day
but when we do It sure ad's excitement to my day I have wrote off a couple of times to being just being overly nice and pleasant
I think she just very nice person but every now then she'll get wave and I get self conscious cause she always seems to go out of the way say hello

- John F.

John, the blog is called Ask a Korean. You are supposed to ASK something, creepy old man. 

*          *            *

Can you give websites where I can check these plumbers and the plumbing industry. Which government sector do they belong? Thanks.

- Ivy M.

Ivy, as the most Internet savvy country in the world, every toilet in Korea comes equipped with the TiSP technology. It belongs to the Ministry of Information and Sanitation, at

*          *            *
I am a black man.

I know you probably get this a lot, but here it goes.

I am truly sorry that we (as black people) are SO ignorant to even try to be helpful in society, so even though my apology will not warrant anything, I want to say I AM SORRY.

sorry for being ignorant to you and your brothers and sisters, Sorry for not trying to learn what makes all of us truly different, and consequently realize how much alike we are deep inside.

sorry for choosing money and women out of internationalfamily or brotherhood.

sorry for blaming everyone else for our problems, and I know I wish I could blame all of mine on everyone else; but really, I am sorry that this country is so secret in trying to eliminate all of us. we are in the 90% and truly I will fight anyone who is a threat to my brothers and sisters, you who are included in that number, with many whites, hispanics, and asian, etc.

We only want to belong, because we have lost our Identity, so we created our own through hip hop

we are lost, and we need help to regain family and unity

I am not a college guy, I am nothing more than a producer

and a day laborer

I just want to say, talk to those who would listen

help point those who need direction, the right way.

I am proud that you all maintain your morality through all of these dark times.

Let me say that it will only get worse, but know that I love you

as a brother,

a friend

and for our mother earth

and God

in his many great names but the one true name

the Creator of all things

blessings to you

and to those who would create them for themselves.

- Rick H.

Rick, the Korean can assure you that he does not get this a lot at all. God bless you too.

*          *            *

Hello,I wonder if you could answer my questions about Jumong,the series are being showed in my country recently.
1.when did Lady Yesoya die?(how many years did she live after Jumong?)
2.Does the name Yesoya and Sosoeno  has a special meaning?
3.Did Sosoeno leave the palace by her own will at the end?
Thanks alot in advance

- Ladan A.

Ladan, the Korean dislike ruining the end of the show. That’s just rude.

*          *            *

I need your help I work with korean people and I feel very attach to them since they been so nice to me. I recently got into an argument with one of then and I feel really bad I feel so bad that I want to quit my job but  I know that if I quit it will affect them more since they speak very little english  and spanish. What can I do since I am very hurt and yet I am still there .


- Mayra G.

Mayra, in this economy, there will be many who will be happy to fill in for you.

*          *            *

Im a woman trapped inside a man's body. Is there any place where i can get a sex change in Korea? About how much would that be?

- Rex P.

*          *            *

Dear Korean,

My girlfriend is Korean and I am American.  I am a tad younger than her and, for the most part, our sexual experiences are amazing.  We have had concurrent orgasms several times.  However, sometimes, while we are making Love, she gets in a tremendous amount of pain.  I should say that she is 41.  Can you help me?

- Justin B.

No, Justin. No.

*          *            *

Dear Korean,

When people think "white" they tend to picture an American, or at least, a westerner.
But obviously people can be Asian-American, or African-American.

So that said, I was wondering if a white person born in, say, Japan or Taiwan would be considered a white asian?

- Elizabeth C.

First, you tell the Korean how many angels can dance on top of a pin.

*          *            *

Hi:  I own an entertainment company and need a Korean performer(s) for tomorrow morning in Boston for a corporate event.  Could you call me as soon as you get this message?  I really appreciate it.  You might know who to put me in touch with.  Thank you
- Craig S.

Craig, the Korean is afraid of clowns.

*          *            *

pls read the pic for me. is it the name of any company? pls help me.......

- Arun C.

Arun, it is indeed the company that makes virtually everything in Asia – the company’s name is “Quality Certified”. You will find their products all over Japan.

*          *            *


    I saw your blog on the net and i just wanna ask some help.. hmmm..
can you share to me on how to look like a korean.. using some
eyeglass how to choose a eyeglass to look like a korean and some tips for the hair
too.. my hair is like this .., or like this ..
it looks like this when i used blower ...

and how to dress like a simple korean guy..

btw I'm Red from Philippines..
19 years old guy.. ^^


- Reden M.

Red, you seem pretty Korean already. Nice tie in the second pic. Where did you get it?

*          *            *

Hi!  What are the best hostess bars in Flushing and/or Manhattan?  Thanks.  Pat

- Pat W.

Pat, your mom wanted to keep her business on word-of-mouth basis only.

*          *            *

  Hey, My name is berenice and i'm mexican and I live in u.s.a New york and i been living here for 13 years. And I STILL DONT have papers nor  visa nothing.  And i want to go and live in korean and get acting classs over there. I know some engilsh. But i want to move over there really bad in korean cause is so beautiful. I want to get prepare over there. and take singing class but i ONly have mexico passport. and ID . can I still move over there and get this opportunity. I have husband who believes in my dream and that could send me money. Let me know is that all you need to move other. Or is there another way? Please help me cause it seems is the only way. Please write me soon.

- Berenice

Thirteen years in America, and you STILL DON’T know how to write in proper English. Good luck learning Korean.

*          *            *

I have a Korean!!! o como se diga..jejeje
¿Pregunta al coreano? mmm y no puedo pedir directamente uno?? jijiji..

YO QUIERO UN KOREANOOO!!! jajajajaja que te doy la direccion de casa y me lo mandas por mensajeria privada o tengo que ir a recojerlo a correos??
Y puedo pedir algun oppa en concreto ?? ..mmm... pos si puede ser Gong Yoo , T.O.P.  o  So Ji Sub te lo agradeceria en el alma... o bueno si hay que pagar un plus por ellos está hecho!!

Aqui me quedo en españa esperando contestacion eh??


P.D.: quien dice un coreano, dice dos o tres... no hay problema, yo les hago sitio en casa.. :P

- Uxia P.

Querida Uxia, ?cual es mas extrano – hecho de que usted esperaba que El Coreano entenderia espanol, o de que el puede?

(Dear Uxia, which is stranger – that fact that you expected the Korean would understand Spanish, or that he can?)

*          *            *
Illegal alien having a baby in US with a US citizen and want to go back to mother country with the baby.
is it possible?

- Anonymous Coward

Anything is possible. Just do it.

*          *            *

Korean -

I have married a Korean woman.  It has been a mostly pleasant experience, however, her feet stink.  Not just a slightly foul odor but some kind of clinical stink, like some smell created in a laboratory.  What is it about the Koreans that make their feet smell this way and how can I reverse its effects? 

I know you won't let me down. 


- Jay O.

Jay, non-Koreans may not know this, but when you mix han and jeong, you end up with some nasty funk that comes out through feet. Rub some kimchi on it.

*          *            *

im mixed with black and white asian girls hate me why

- Anonymous Coward

Probably has something to do with your personality. And the fact that you ask dumb questions.

*          *            *

Can the Wonder Girls, SNSD, Super Junior, SHINEE, and Kara come to Westminster Mall in California and go to Asian Garden Malll at Westmister also. If some or one or all can come to these places, give me a call at [PHONE NUMBER] and tell me the date. by the way i am a kid. Thank You. From Amanda from California.

- Amanda T.

Sweetie, please never give away your phone number to an anonymous blogger ever again. Even if he promises Wonder Girls.

*          *            *

And now, drum roll please – the winner of the Worst AAK! Email of 2009, after the jump.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at

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Worst Email of 2009 goes to Rosey M., who sent the below email eight times to ensure that she truly won the award. Here is Rosey’s masterpiece in its full glory.

long love letter to bae yong joon

i want to send a letter to my bae yong joon but i don not how so please can this site help me and send my letter to him all i want is make him know how much i care about him so please help me

they say ((((if you want something with all your heart than the entire universe will help you to get it)))
and for me all I want to be with you but I know am only dream so I want you to know how much I love and care about

you know why I care that much or love you you want to know ???
ONE DAY I catch me self smile . big happy smile and am never smile since my father died … when I see you I smile and fell happy and sad smile and cry
to my smile
you are my smile .
when I see every one in all over the world loves you so much . I fell I can not say any thing or find my words to express how I fell
with all this love around you I need to see you happy and always have your smile
you give me my smile so please be happy for me
do you know we have The same date of birth
i think we have Contact some how …..i really happy because at the same time we Celebrate our birthday
in this day i praying for you to be happy and find your Peace in your world
I’m always see you in my dreams see you smiled to me and say is every thing will be okay and you will always be with me and
You will never leave me
please god make him read this letter and make him ,safe, happy ,have smile for ever
my smile
they say ( some people make the world special just by begin it in it)
when i heard that i know it it was Talking about you
you make world so special just by begin it in it you make me Finally happy
all i can say thank you so Please don’t frown you never know who is falling in love with your smile for me be happy and safe for ever after
let me tell you a secret …my best friend ask me question she asked me ….
what i can do when the only person in the whole world who make me stop crying is the person who made me cry???
do you know what i thought at this moment i think about you you make me smile and cry in this same time
how can you do this ?
the moment i saw you i fell sad and happy in same time
i cry and smiled in same time
i fell My heart is burning and full of pain and also Fly from joy and happy
Can not find the answer to My feeling about you
i hope one day you will read that letter
please my dear god make him happy and have smile
and please please please make him read this letter please
all i want is make him know that I really think and care about him
you now what i wish for you????
i wish you will be fine
when i see all this love around you I feel emptiness
and i know you will never know how much i care about you
but i tell my self with all love how can he know me?
and i said .no. sure he will not know any thing about me.. i try to send letter but i couldn’t
and i write to you many time in your sites i try many many times i know you not free a know you work so hard i know all this but i still sad and feel emptiness every time i write to you I pray to god to make you read my letter,,, but you still do know any thing about me i really feel sad
and now i write that letter to you and i know you will steel do not know any thing about me
i hope you will beloved for ever and be happy and have smile
i just need to say that when i think about you I feel warm i can never let you go ….in my heart
i hate you but i love you more for every smile you create in my face you create a thousand more tears but still love you
i wish to you all Happiness and every one loves you
with all my heart i said be happy .

and now let me tell you a story of love……
why love is blind?
Reason is In ancient times Where it was not Humans on the Earth
was Virtues and vices Roam the world together
Feel very bored **** on day As a solution to the problem of bored
Suggested that creativity game of hide and seek
every one love the idea
and crazy or madness Shouted and say I want to be the first
am the one who shut my eyes and start Count
The vices and virtues went hiding
Found tenderness A place for itself over the moon
and the Betrayal hid in a pile of garbage
and passion went and hid in the clouds
and the longing went and hid under the ground
and lie said loudly **i hide myself under stones and he went to Bottom of the lake to hid
and The madness continues 79 **80**81
During that completed all the virtues and vices hide ..
Except love*****As usual his decision was not and therefore did not decide where to disappear
This is one of the sudden … We know how difficult it was to hide love ..
and the madness continues ***95 *** 96****97
Madness got to hundred 100
Love jumped amid a clump of flowers .. And disappeared inside
Crazy open his eyes. .shouting **** The search began: “I’m coming to you …. I’m coming I’m coming to
you ********
laziness was the first Exposed because it did not make any effort ti hide it self
Appeared tenderness hidden in the moon
and the lie get out from bottom of the lake could not breathe
He pointed to the longing to return from the underground
madness found all of them one by one
Except love *******
Almost becomes frustrated and bass and sad in the Research of love
That envy told him the love hid in the flowers
Madness grabbed a wooden pitch fork .. And began to stab the rose bush
Frivolously ,,,,,, love to come out
and Did not stop only when he heard the voice crying is heart-rending
love appeared hid his eyes with his hand and blood dripping from between his fingers
Shouted madness regrets oh god what did i do?
What can I do to fix my mistake after you lose your sight?
Love answered: it can not re-look at me … But there is still what it can Done for me … be my guides
this is what happened from that day …. Love is blind … Led Madness
so you know why i love my prince all that much
I love oppa be happy and smile because I will be here for you for ever
when you need some one came here and share my love with you
i wish be happy and have smile
if you read this letter one day I wish you when you read you smile

I have faith one day you will came to find me and in this time I will wait you and still wait all my life
I believe in my heart
love begin in dreams and live in reality and stay in our heart for ever

I will be wait so can you find your way to came to me
please I want to publish this letter or send to my oppa bae yong joon but I don not know how I do that
can please help me

in korean

당신은 배 용준에게
제 이름은 ROSEY
하지 않으면 내가 자네에게 얘기 절대 만약 당신은이 그러니 제발 내 말을
들어야 돼 편지좀조차도 필요 마음이 왜 내가해야만한다면.
그들이 말하는 ((((만약 당신이 우주 전체를 다 합한 것보다 더 당신의
마음에 뭔가 원하는 그걸 얻기 위해))) 도움이됩니다
그리고 나를 위해 내가 당신과 함께 있고 싶어하지만 정말 당신을 얼마나 사랑과 정성으로 보살펴 알고 싶어 오전 알아
내가 그렇게 많이하거나 알고 싶은 좋아하는지 상관없이 알지???
언젠가 나는 내 스스로 미소를 캐치. 아주 행복한 미소 오전 절대 웃으 이후로 아버지가 돌아가셨을 … 때 내가 미소 행복하고 슬픈 미소를보고 울어 감소
내 미소에
당신은 내 미소가있습니다.
내가 세계 각지에서 매일 한번 보면 널 너무 사랑 한단다. 내가 어떤 일을 찾거나 내 말을 어떻게 기록을 표현했다 말할 수 없다
이 모든 사랑이 주위에 당신과 행복은 항상 당신의 미소를 가지고 볼 필요가
당신이 내 미소가 너무 행복 해 내게주게
당신은 우리의 탄생과 같은 날짜를 알 수 있습니까
우리는 몇 가지 방법을 ….. 난 정말 우리가 생일 축하를 동시에하기 때문에 행복하다 접촉 것 같아요
오늘 당신을 위해기도에 행복과 세계 평화를 찾을 수
난 항상 내 꿈속에서 당신을보고 있어요 당신이 날보고 미소를 말하고 괜찮아 질거야 모든 건 당신은 언제나 나와 함께있을 것이다
날 떠나지 않을 것입니다
그에게이 편지를 읽고 그를 행복하게 안전하게 하느님, 제발 영원히 미소
내 미소
그들은 (어떤 사람들은 세상을 특별하게 단지에서 시작) 의해
들었을 때 난 그것이 당신에 대해 얘기하고 있었어요 알아
당신은 세상이 너무 특별한 그냥 당신이 날 행복하게 해주 마침내 그것을 시작하여하게
내가 너무 제발 누가 날 사랑에 대한 당신의 미소를 함께 나누는 행복을 영원히 모를 안전 이후에 싫은 내색을하지 않아 고맙다는 말을 할 수
나한테 비밀 … 나의 가장 친한 친구에게 부탁하자 그녀는 …. 부탁 질문
난이 세상에서 유일한 사람 울음을 멈추게 할 날 무엇을 할 수있는 날 울게 만든 사람은 무엇입니까???
당신은 내가 당신이 내게 미소를 보여이 같은 시간에 흐느껴 울기 내가 생각하는이 순간에 무슨 생각을 알아
어떻게 이럴 수가 있지?
순간 난 슬픔과 행복을 동시에 떨어진 봤어요
내가 울고과 같은 시간에 미소를
내 마음했다 레코딩과 고통으로 가득한 삶 또한 기쁨과 행복의 플라이 투 더이다
내 느낌이 당신에 대한 답변을 찾을 수없습니다
언젠가 당신이 그 편지를 읽고 희망을
내 사랑하는 사람을 행복하게하고 미소를 가지고 하나님을 기쁘 시게
그리고 제발, 제발, 제발 제발 그에게이 편지를 읽을 수
내가 그에게 정말 생각하는지 만드는 싶어 그를 걱정
지금 내가 무슨 소원????
당신이 잘 될 것입니다 소원
주위의 공허함을 느낄 때 난 내가이 모든 사랑을 확인할 수
그리고 난 내가 얼마나 당신을 걱정하고 알 수 없을 거예요
하지만 난 그가 어떻게 날 알지 수있는 모든 사랑을 내 자신에게?
그리고 내가 말했다. 안돼. 확실히 그가 나에 대해 모든 걸 알 수없습니다 .. 내가 편지를하지만, 난 못 보내려고
난 널 위해 많은 시간을 귀하의 사이트에 내가 쓰는 몇 몇 번이나 시도는 당신이 당신이이 모든하지만 난 여전히 슬프고 때마다 난 당신에게 내가 만들어 신에게기도를 써주세요 공허함을 느끼는지 정말 열심히 일을 잘 알고 공짜가 아니야 내 편지를 읽고,하지만 당신은 아직 나에 대해 난 정말 슬플 언제든지 일을 알지
그리고 지금 당신과 내가 편지 철강 나에 대해 어떤 일을할지 모르겠어 알고 쓰기
난 당신을 영원히 사랑하고 행복하게하고 미소를 가지고 희망을
난 단지에 대해 내가 당신을 내 마음에서 …. 보내지 않을 수있는 따뜻한 느낌 그 때 내 생각 말할 필요도
난 당신하지만 난 네가지만 1000보다 눈물이 만들 여전히 당신을 사랑하는 내 얼굴을 만들 때마다 미소에 대한 더 많은 사랑을 싫어
내가 당신에게 모든 소원을 하나의 모든 행복은 당신을 사랑하는
모든 내 마음을 내가 어떻게 행복할 수있다.
그리고 지금 당신의 사랑 이야기 …… 알려주지
왜 사랑하면 눈이 무엇입니까?
고대 이유는 어디에 지구상에 인간이되었다
미덕과 결점을 방랑 세상을 함께했다
기분이 아주 하루 ****상의 문제에 대한 솔루션으로서 심심 심심
숨기기의 제안은 창의성을 찾는 게임
매일 하나의 아이디어를 사랑하는
미친 사람이나 광기를 외쳤다 내가 먼저하고 싶은 말은
하나는 눈을 시작하고 종료 카운트 오전
1 ******* 2 ******* 3 **
결점과 장점을 숨기고 갔다
이상을 찾을 부드러움 자체에 대한 장소
그리고 배신은 쓰레기 더미에 숨겨
그리고 열정을 가서 구름에 숨어
그리고 갈망 가서 밑에 숨었
거짓말을 소리로 ** 아래에 자신을 숨기려면 내가 아래 숨겨놓은 호수의 갔다고
그리고 광기 79 ** 80 ** 81 계속
동안의 모든 장점과 결점을 완료 .. 숨기기
제외하고 자신의 결정을 어디로 사라 결정을하지 않았하지 않으므로했다 그렇듯이 사랑
이것은 갑자기 하나입니다우리가 알고있는 사랑을 어떻게 숨기려고 .. 어려 운지
그리고 광기 ** 95 ** 96 **** 97 계속
미치 겠어 100 100
사랑의 수풀 속에 뛰어 .. 그리고 안으로 사라졌다
미친 그의 눈을 여십시오. . 고함 **** 검색 시작 : “내가 너희에게 갈께 …. 내가 갈게 갈게
당신 ********
처음이라 게으름 때문에 모든 노력을 TI 스스로 그것을 숨길 확인되지 않았다
출연 다정 달에에 숨겨진
그리고 거짓말 호수 바닥에서 숨을 수가 없었 나가
그가 갈망하는 지하에서 반환 지적
광기를 하나씩 모두 하나의 발견
사랑 ******* 제외
거의 좌절되는베이스와 리서치 사랑의 슬픔
욕정을 사랑하는 안에 숨었다고
미치 나무 피치 포크 잡고 .. 그리고 찌를 면류관 시작
Frivolously ,,,,,,
사랑에 나오
경우에만 목소리를 듣고 울음을 멈추지 않았 마음입니다 rending
사랑이 나타나 그의 손에 피가 그의 손가락 사이에서 떨어지는 그의 눈을 숨겨 었는데
광기 내가 어쨌길래 하나님의 후회 외쳤다?
후에 시력을 잃고 내가 무슨 실수를 수정하려면 어떻게해야합니까?
사랑 대답 : 그것을 다시 없다 하지만 아직도 내게 무슨 짓을 수있습니다 가이드가
이게 그날부터 일이있습니다 …. 사랑은 맹목적이고레드 매드니스
그래서 그렇게 왕자님을 사랑하는 알지
내가 어떻게 행복할 oppa 미소를 사랑하는 이유는 내가 여기 당신을 위해 적있을 것입니다
당신이 여기 와서 당신과 나의 사랑을 공유하는 가지 하나가 필요
내가 어떻게 행복할 소원과 미소를 가지고
만약 당신이이 편지는 내가 언제 당신이 미소를 읽는 당신이 원하는 어느 읽기
당신이 발견하고 당신을 기다릴 게요 그래도 모든 삶이 시간을 기다려 것입니다 믿음이 언젠가는이
마음에 믿어
꿈의 시작 사랑과 현실에 살고 영원히 우리 가슴에 남아
내가 그래서 당신이 방법을 찾을 기다릴 내게로왔다을


  1. Thanks for this entry, it's very entertaining.

  2. "Jay, non-Koreans may not know this, but when you mix han and jeong, you end up with some nasty funk that comes out through feet. Rub some kimchi on it."

    There's a good chance this gentleman may actually take your advice into action. :D

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. Dear Ztraderx,
    What The Korean is saying is not about writing eloquently like Shakespeare. I believe all he wants to see in a post, is a clear and grammericaly correct English. That is not much to ask.

  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

  6. Definitely the first one wins for creepiest email of the year.

    And who writes a full-page letter to Bae Yong Joon and thinks that sending it to AAK will ensure its arrival? I mean, where do these people come from?

  7. Regular readers should know that anything as "interesting" as that letter will get posted and ridiculed. Allowing many others to be entertained. The writer does seem a bit obsessed...

  8. Holy cow! your worst letter was sent to you by my ex-coworker, who had a (resoundingly unrequited) debilitating crush on me. She changed her name, but that's totally her writing style.

  9. Bae Yong-joon was a Canadian NSET???

  10. ROFLMAO OMG that worst mail was hilarious LOL

  11. ahahaha my stomach hurts from reading worst email of the year xD

  12. The Korean is a smart ass and I LOVE it.

    Dear ZtraderX: maybe YOU should lighten up! Good thing you have a career that pays you well for your brain and not your sense of humor-because then you'd be broke!

  13. This post is hilarious - the rounded-up emails are really crazy and I totally agree the last one really wins the award, sending 8 times as well. OMG.

  14. Ohhh my gosh, and what the hell. Where do these people COME from?! I recall reading somewhere on this site that the Korean receives all KINDS of emails, but I never thought they included emails this creepy, misspelled, erratic, nonsensical, or crazy. People are freaks.

  15. haha...rub some kimchi in it

  16. Que interesante que el español del Coreano es mucho mejor que el español de la supuesta "hisplanohablante". Claro que al Coreano le importan cosas como gramática y ortografía en cualquiera lengua que habla. Que todo el mundo siente lo mismo.

    Translation: Interesting that the Spanish of The Korean is much better than that of the so-called "native" speaker. Clearly things like grammar and spelling are important to The Korean no matter what language he's speaking. If only everyone felt the same.

    And as anyone who speaks Spanish can tell, it's clearly not my first language. I'm sure The Korean speaks it much better than I do.

  17. I read this masterpiece with the memories of Kang Joon Sang in my heart.


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