Lesson in Cultural Gap through an Exercise of Translation

We all have our own way of passing time when we are stuck in a boring situation. We look around, shift weight on our legs, and daydream. One of the things that the Korean does is to translate everything he sees and hears into different languages that the Korean knows. Most of the time it is English to Korean or Korean to English, with a little bit of Spanish, Chinese, and Latin thrown in.

Because the Korean does this exercise so often (basically every time he rides the subway or gets stuck in traffic, when he is not thinking of something else,) the Korean has gotten pretty good at it – much more so than others who may know both Korean and English fluently, yet do not bother to link the two languages. The Korean not only tries to match the meaning, but tries to match the emotional and evocative content of the original as well.

Recently, Roboseyo put up a beautiful Korean song, which later stuck in the Korean’s head. Accordingly, after the song ran a few times in the Korean’s head, the Korean began translating it in his head, in different variations. Then the Korean decided to write about exactly what went through his head while attempting to translate this song.

The Korean is writing this in order to open up and show a process of crossing the cultural gap. When we read an interpreted text, we are never sure if the translation is completely faithful to the original. We can never be certain that the translation captures everything that the original has meant to capture. This exercise will show exactly what carries over in the process, and what is lost in the process. The song, 찔레꽃, is short yet emotional and evocative, which makes a great case study.

The song was composed, written, and sung by Jang Sa-Ik. First, here is the video of Jang singing the song.



Here is the text of the song.

찔레꽃

하얀 꽃 찔레꽃
순박한 꽃 찔레꽃

별처럼 슬픈 찔레꽃
달처럼 서러운 찔레꽃

찔레꽃 향기는
너무 슬퍼요

그래서 울었지
밤새워 울었지

찔레꽃 향기는
너무 슬퍼요

그래서 울었지
목놓아 울었지

아 찔레꽃처럼 울었지
찔레꽃처럼 춤췄지

찔레꽃처럼 날았지
찔레꽃처럼 울었지

찔레꽃처럼 춤췄지
당신은 찔레꽃

찔레꽃처럼 울었지
당신은

Let us begin the translation. (Note: the words in the video is slightly different from the official lyrics.) The Korean will go paragraph by paragraph, starting with the title.

Title text:
찔레꽃

Initial translation:
Mountain Rose

Thought process:
Is this right? It is according to the dictionary, but the evocative image is completely wrong. Most English speakers have never seen a mountain rose. When they hear “mountain rose”, they would therefore think of the flower as an extension of a rose. In their head, they would run this type of image:


Which is so completely wrong. The beauty of a rose comes from its striking color and the fullness and complexity of its petals’ configuration. But the color of a mountain rose is muted, and its petals are laid out in a single layer, a simple form -- like the following:



Also, “mountain rose” would completely lose the emotional quality of the word 찔레꽃. 찔레 comes from 찌르다, “to prick”. Literally, it’s a “pricking flower”. It’s ironic and sad – a flower that attracts, yet repels! But then again, roses are known for that as well… but the thorns of 찔레꽃 is not nearly as hard or sharp as those of a rose.

Do I want to stay with simple transliteration, Jjillekkot, and let the readers imagine it? But then the flower could become anything, and it would lose a crucial meaning of thorns. Do I want to go with “pricking flower”? That sounds too strong, and too literal. It takes away the subtlety. I’m not happy with this, but that settles it.

Settled on: Mountain Rose.

Text:
하얀 꽃 찔레꽃
순박한 꽃 찔레꽃

Initial translation:
White flower, Mountain Rose,
Innocent flower, Mountain Rose.

Thought process:
Are the commas necessary, although the original text does not have commas? Am I being too condescending for the reader? I think I will stay with them, since the original text does not seem to have an alternate way of reading anyway.

I am pretty confident that “Mountain Rose” has to be capitalized. The original text makes it fairly clear that the mountain rose is a metaphor for a certain person.

The word 순박한 is difficult. My initial thought was “innocent”, but “innocent” sounds like it would describe a child. 순박 entails a little more sophistication; it almost always describes people in the countryside, living a simple life without pretension. Is “simple” the right word? “Simple” doesn’t sound very poetic; it sounds like “basic”, a very dry word. But English-speakers talk about being “simple folks” as well.

The word “white” is surprisingly bland when translated, because it loses the historical reference. Traditional Koreans – living in simple times! – dressed in clear, bright white. Koreans are sometimes known as 백의민족, “the people in white dress”. Starting with the word “white” clearly indicates that this song is really about a person, not a flower.

Is there any way to convey this idea in English? Not really – it would take a longer explanation, destroying the poem. But this at least makes me shift further away from “innocent”. Paralleled with “white”, “innocent” really sounds close to “childlike”. This song is not about a child.

Settled on:
White flower, Mountain Rose,
Simple flower, Mountain Rose.

Text:
별처럼 슬픈 찔레꽃
달처럼 서러운 찔레꽃

Initial translation:
Mountain Rose, sad like a star,
Mountain Rose, doleful like the moon.

Thought process:
The word order is annoying. The word “Mountain Rose” comes at the end of the sentence in both paragraphs, but “Sad like a star, Mountain Rose” initially did not make sense to me. But clearly, this paragraph is about repetition, not about changing the cadence. I think I’ll change the order.

The word “sad” in English also sometimes means “pathetic”, which annoys me. “Sorrowful” would be the perfect fit with respect to its meaning, but does that flow? 슬픈 is juxtaposed to 서러운, which means that the translation for 슬픈 has to be a shorter word than the translation for 서러운. “Sorrowful” and “doleful” are the same length. I don’t think I have a choice – “sad” has to be it.

Is “doleful” the right word for 서러운? A 서러운 person is probably crying, possibly drunk. I really wish I can think of some English texts that had the word “doleful” – I just can’t think of any image associated with the word. It somehow sounds like “depressed”, which is less expressive than 서러운. “Mournful” is another possibility, but that brings in death, which is something else entirely. Again, not happy, but this will have to do.

Settled on:
Sad like a star, Mountain Rose,
Doleful like the moon, Mountain Rose.

Text:
찔레꽃 향기는
너무 슬퍼요

Initial translation:
Mountain Rose scent is
Too sad.

Thought process:
This ruins the cadence. First line is 6 syllables, followed by 5 syllables in the next. In English, the first line is 5 syllables, followed by 2 syllables. Need a longer word than “sad”. I wonder if I can get away with just “Rose” instead of “Mountain Rose”…

Settled on:
Scent of the Rose is
Too sorrowful.

Text:
그래서 울었지
밤새워 울었지

Initial Translation:
So I cried
All night I cried.

Thought process:
This is hard. The original text does not show who cried – I just threw it in there to make sense of it for now.

Korean language does not require a subject in the sentence to be grammatically correct. Korean poets used this feature to deliberately create ambiguity. This flower could be anyone – I, you, the Mountain Rose, any simple Korean dressed in white. Cheating ahead, the last few lines say “You are Mountain Rose”, partly relieving the mystery. But changing to “So you cried” will still destroy the deliberate ambiguity.

How important is this ambiguity? Do I want to preserve it, at the risk of being grammatically incorrect in English? (Not to mention confusing the hell out of readers who are unfamiliar with this type of ambiguity?) But I think the central beauty of this poem lies in this ambiguity. It has to stay. Hopefully some commas will relieve the confusion?

Also, let’s not forget the cadence. The two lines have the same number of syllables. Since “all night” has to stay, find a different word for “so”.

Settled on:
Therefore, cried.
All night, cried.

Text:
찔레꽃 향기는
너무 슬퍼요

Initial translation:
Scent of the Rose is
Too sorrowful

Thought process:
Same as earlier.

Settled on:
Scent of the Rose is
Too sorrowful.

Text:
그래서 울었지
목놓아 울었지

Initial translation:
Therefore, cried.
With all my heart, cried.

Thought process:
Gah! Another tricky Korean word. 목놓아 울었지 would be translated as one English word, “wailed”. Literally it means, “crying by letting your throat go.”

What about “wailed and cried”? It’s redundant, but it fits the cadence. (If you had noticed, the Korean does not even try to rhyme. That’s far too difficult.) That will have to do.

Settled on:
Therefore, cried.
Wailed and cried.

Text:
아 찔레꽃처럼 울었지
찔레꽃처럼 춤췄지

Initial translation:
Ah – cried like Mountain Rose
Danced like Mountain Rose.

Thought process:
Normally, “Ah” is a bit difficult because Koreans say “Ah” in the way Americans say “Oh” – that is, whenever they just realized something. But the “Ah” here is meant to signify the wailing sound. So I will leave it here. I am also getting used to the “no subjects” thing in English. Hopefully the reader will as well.

Settled on:
Ah – cried like Mountain Rose
Danced like Mountain Rose

Text:
찔레꽃처럼 날았지
찔레꽃처럼 울었지

Initial translation:
Flew like Mountain Rose
Cried like Mountain Rose

Thought process:
Finally, an easy line!

Settled on:
Flew like Mountain Rose
Cried like Mountain Rose

Text:
찔레꽃처럼 춤췄지
당신은 찔레꽃

Initial translation:
Danced like Mountain Rose
You are Mountain Rose

Thought process:
Capitalizing "Mountain Rose" pays off here, because "You are the mountain rose" hurts the cadence.

Settled on:
Danced like Mountain Rose
You are Mountain Rose

Text:
찔레꽃처럼 울었지
당신은

Initial translation:
Cried like Mountain Rose
You did

Thought process:
That worked out well.

Settled on:
Cried like Mountain Rose
You did

Done! Let us look at the final product:

Mountain Rose

White flower, Mountain Rose,
Simple flower, Mountain Rose.

Sad like a star, Mountain Rose,
Doleful like the moon, Mountain Rose.

Scent of the Rose is
Too sorrowful.

Therefore, cried.
All night, cried.

Scent of the Rose is
Too sorrowful.

Therefore, cried.
Wailed and cried.

Ah – cried like Mountain Rose
Danced like Mountain Rose

Flew like Mountain Rose
Cried like Mountain Rose

Danced like Mountain Rose
You are Mountain Rose

Cried like Mountain Rose
You did

Final checkup on the finished product:
Doesn't look too bad. Still dislike the fact that all the meaning behind "white" was lost. Still not sure how readers would react to fourth and sixth stanza, which lack the subject in the sentence. But not sure how I could improve -- I can only hope that it makes sense.
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There you have it. As a closing remark, the Korean would like to make a few points.

1. Translation is hard work. Be grateful to those who do it for you, even if they do not convey everything that they could possibly convey.

2. If you wish to learn about a culture, not knowing the language of the culture is fatal. See how many nuances you are missing in that short little poem turned into English?

3. If you are conversing in a certain language with a person who acquired that language as an adult (for most of AAK! readers, that would be Koreans who learned English later in their years, like the Korean himself,) imagine the hard work of the person you are speaking with. Realize that there are a lot of emotion that the person simply cannot convey fully. Also, realize that at least some of what you say will be lost upon the listener, even if the listener knows the definition of every word you said.

The Korean does not wish to overexaggerate. The fundamental theme of AAK! is that Koreans -- and by extension all humans of all races and culture -- are essentially the same as you and me. We are all people. Cultural gap can certainly be crossed.

But such crossing is, needless to say, imperfect. We lose some things when we cross that bridge. The aspiration behind this exercise was to demonstrate what exactly makes across the bridge, and what gets lost en route.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com.