Everything You Ever Wanted to Know about Korean Men

Dear Ladies,

According to Gustavo Arellano, the most common question for the Mexican is “Why do Mexicans swim with their clothes on?” Well, for the Korean, the most common question is this: “[Who/what/when/why/how] do Korean guys [like/dislike/act/feel] [in/about/with/for] girls?”

Most of those questions come with a ridiculously long background story – so the Korean knows what the email is going to be about if the sender is something like fluffypuppiesandkittens@yahoo.com and the email size is around 200KB. Some of those emails were answered on this space, some privately, and some not at all, because the Korean doesn’t even know where to begin with those.

Some of the emails are simply the result of Korean men being around non-Korean women, but many of the emails seem to be a direct result of the recent popularity of Korean dramas and the male actors in them. (For example, Kwon Sang-Wu in the picture.) Korean guys are now singled out as a category, and they seem to feature in amorous fantasies of many non-Korean women. The Korean compiled the most frequent questions and their answers below.

Do Korean guys go for non-Korean girls?

If there is only one thing to remember about Korean men, it’s this: they are men before they are Korean. Do you have breasts and a vagina? Then at least some Korean men would go for you. It’s relatively uncommon, but hey, interracial dating is always relatively uncommon.

The Korean cannot stress this point enough: KOREAN MEN ARE EXACTLY THE SAME AS ALL MEN. Korean dramas feed upon the fact that you womenfolks are always trying to find some men that do not exist in real world. Please just let it go. No man expects to find a woman who cooks like Rachel Ray and screws like Jenna Jameson. Same should go for your expectation on your man.

What qualities do Korean guys look for in a woman / What can I do to make this Korean guy like me?

The Korean covered this topic before: try cooking for him. But that advice usually works for all men. There is no love serum that especially works on Korean men. Just be yourself. The Korean Girlfriend’s advice? Give him a head. (She’s a keeper.)

Why do Korean guys want to get married so soon?

The Korean tangentially covered this as well. There is a huge pressure to be married by a certain age. Once that age is past, it’s as if Koreans are on fire sale. This is worse with Korean women, but men are definitely affected by this as well.

What does it mean if a Korean guy gives you [four leaf clover/hairpin/doll/other silly trinkets]?

There is no such thing as “ultra super special Korean guy-to-girl gift”, except possibly on certain days. (Described here.) Gift is no more than a gift. If it has an uber secret hidden message, he would probably tell you. Remember, girls are the ones who like to play detective games with clues and such. Guys never put in that much effort, except when they stop calling you back.

Why does my Korean boyfriend cannot share his feelings? Why does this Korean guy who seems to like me only talk to me on and off? Why am I in the middle of this Greek tragedy involving myself and a Korean guy?

Here’s the answer – I DON’T FUCKING KNOW. Stop flooding the Korean’s inbox with your 20-page sob story! If you want some genuine help, go read this instead. The Korean will say this one more time: Korean men are men before they are Korean. Whatever relationship problem you are having, 99 percent of it has to do with the fact that he is a man, and maybe 1 percent of it has to do with the fact that he is Korean. Before you send that email to the address on the bottom, please, please, PLEASE think through your situation, eliminate ALL possible non-cultural explanations first, and then ask if you have to.

After this post, if you still have a question about Korean men, it had better be good.

Got a question or comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com

-EDIT 3/20/2008 11:35 a.m.- SPECIAL ADVISORY TO LADIES FROM PHILIPPINES, VIETNAM, AND OTHER SOUTHEAST ASIAN COUNTRIES

The Korean recently noticed that many people from above countries (presumably women) are getting to this particular post through Googling for "Korean men". Your situation tends to be somewhat different from regular dating, so please read this carefully.If you are considering dating/marrying a Korean man, look out for the following:

1. Remember that majority of Koreans are racists. That means that they despise people whose skins are darker than them. Southeastern Asians are darker than Koreans. You do the math. It's safe to say that in many cases, your relationship will not be based on respect.

Even if your guy is not racist, his parents, relatives, and friends are going to be racist. That makes a long-term relationship or marriage extremely difficult. At some point, your guy will be forced to choose between you and everyone else he knows. Guess which one he is more likely to choose?

2. The same principle applies everywhere: Korean men are exactly the same as all men. And all men lie, beg, manipulate, and do other despicable things to have sex with women. Korean men are no different. The fact that they have less respect for you would make this more likely.

3. Are you going through some type of a broker? Be EXTREMELY careful about these services. Korean men who come to Southeast Asia through a marriage broker do so because NO KOREAN WOMAN WOULD MARRY HIM. There is a reason for that. Of course, some men are just unlucky -- Korean women tend not to marry divorced men or men living in rural areas as farmers. But many men are your classic, stuck-in-the-1960s type of Koreans whose hobbies include beating their wives.

4. Regardless of going through a broker or not, watch out for older Korean men (in 30s~40s as opposed to in early 20s), for the simple reason that older Korean men are more likely to be racist, manipulative, and disrespectful to women. Remember, there is a strong pressure for Koreans to get married in their early 30s at the latest. So if there is a single Korean who is older than, say, 33, either s/he went through some unusual circumstances, or something is wrong with that person.

5. Lastly, do not fall for the two classic mistakes that all women make about men at some point in their lifetime: "He is different from everyone" and "He will change for me." The first one is correct only about 20 percent of the time, and the second one is never correct.