According to Gustavo Arellano, the most common question for the Mexican is “Why do Mexicans swim with their clothes on?” Well, for the Korean, the most common question is this: “[Who/what/when/why/how] do Korean guys [like/dislike/act/feel] [in/about/with/for] girls?”
Most of those questions come with a ridiculously long background story – so the Korean knows what the email is going to be about if the sender is something like fluffypuppiesandkittens@yahoo.com and the email size is around 200KB. Some of those emails were answered on this space, some privately, and some not at all, because the Korean doesn’t even know where to begin with those.
Some of the emails are simply the result of Korean men being around non-Korean women, but many of the emails seem to be a direct result of the recent popularity of Korean dramas and the male actors in them. (For example, Kwon Sang-Wu in the picture.) Korean guys are now singled out as a category, and they seem to feature in amorous fantasies of many non-Korean women. The Korean compiled the most frequent questions and their answers below.Do Korean guys go for non-Korean [white, black, Latina, South Asian, Southeast Asian, Martian] girls?
If there is only one thing to remember about Korean men, it’s this: they are men before they are Korean. Do you have breasts and a vagina? Then at least some Korean men would go for you. It’s relatively uncommon, but hey, interracial dating is always relatively uncommon.
The Korean cannot stress this point enough: KOREAN MEN ARE EXACTLY THE SAME AS ALL MEN. Korean dramas feed upon the fact that you womenfolks are always trying to find some men that do not exist in real world. Please just let it go. No man expects to find a woman who cooks like Rachel Ray and screws like Jenna Jameson. Same should go for your expectation on your man.
What qualities do Korean guys look for in a woman / What can I do to make this Korean guy like me?
The Korean covered this topic before: try cooking for him. But that advice usually works for all men. There is no love serum that especially works on Korean men. Just be yourself. The Korean Girlfriend’s advice? Give him a head. (She’s a keeper.)
Why do Korean guys want to get married so soon?
The Korean tangentially covered this as well. There is a huge pressure to be married by a certain age. Once that age is past, it’s as if Koreans are on fire sale. This is worse with Korean women, but men are definitely affected by this as well.
What does it mean if a Korean guy gives you [four leaf clover/hairpin/doll/other silly trinkets]?
There is no such thing as “ultra super special Korean guy-to-girl gift”, except possibly on certain days. (Described here.) Gift is no more than a gift. If it has an uber secret hidden message, he would probably tell you. Remember, girls are the ones who like to play detective games with clues and such. Guys never put in that much effort, except when they stop calling you back.
Why does my Korean boyfriend cannot share his feelings? Why does this Korean guy who seems to like me only talk to me on and off? Why am I in the middle of this Greek tragedy involving myself and a Korean guy?
Here’s the answer – I DON’T FUCKING KNOW. Stop flooding the Korean’s inbox with your 20-page sob story! If you want some genuine help, go read this instead. The Korean will say this one more time: Korean men are men before they are Korean. Whatever relationship problem you are having, 99 percent of it has to do with the fact that he is a man, and maybe 1 percent of it has to do with the fact that he is Korean. Before you send that email to the address on the bottom, please, please, PLEASE think through your situation, eliminate ALL possible non-cultural explanations first, and then ask if you have to.
After this post, if you still have a question about Korean men, it had better be good.
-EDIT 3/20/2008 11:35 a.m.- SPECIAL ADVISORY TO LADIES FROM PHILIPPINES, VIETNAM, AND OTHER SOUTHEAST ASIAN COUNTRIES
The Korean recently noticed that many people from above countries (presumably women) are getting to this particular post through Googling for "Korean men". Your situation tends to be somewhat different from regular dating, so please read this carefully.If you are considering dating/marrying a Korean man, look out for the following:
1. Remember that majority of Koreans are racists. That means that they despise people whose skins are darker than them. Southeastern Asians are darker than Koreans. You do the math. It's safe to say that in many cases, your relationship will not be based on respect.
Even if your guy is not racist, his parents, relatives, and friends are going to be racist. That makes a long-term relationship or marriage extremely difficult. At some point, your guy will be forced to choose between you and everyone else he knows. Guess which one he is more likely to choose?
2. The same principle applies everywhere: Korean men are exactly the same as all men. And all men lie, beg, manipulate, and do other despicable things to have sex with women. Korean men are no different. The fact that they have less respect for you would make this more likely.
3. Are you going through some type of a broker? Be EXTREMELY careful about these services. Korean men who come to Southeast Asia through a marriage broker do so because NO KOREAN WOMAN WOULD MARRY HIM. There is a reason for that. Of course, some men are just unlucky -- Korean women tend not to marry divorced men or men living in rural areas as farmers. But many men are your classic, stuck-in-the-1960s type of Koreans whose hobbies include beating their wives.
4. Regardless of going through a broker or not, watch out for older Korean men (in 30s~40s as opposed to in early 20s), for the simple reason that older Korean men are more likely to be racist, manipulative, and disrespectful to women. Remember, there is a strong pressure for Koreans to get married in their early 30s at the latest. So if there is a single Korean who is older than, say, 33, either s/he went through some unusual circumstances, or something is wrong with that person.
5. Lastly, do not fall for the two classic mistakes that all women make about men at some point in their lifetime: "He is different from everyone" and "He will change for me." The first one is correct only about 20 percent of the time, and the second one is never correct.
Posts
Dear Mr. "Ask A Korean"
ReplyDeleteIt may be helpful to look into the neoconfucian aspects of interpersonal relationships in order to better analyze the actions and inactions of Koreans in general. Whether we know it or not, or even acknowledge it, neo-confucianism affects almost every aspect of Korean behavior. Absolutely true for fobs (1st generation), still very much true for the 1.5 generation and less so, but still important for the 2nd.
"Dear Korean" will do, thank you very much. The Korean definitely recognizes the presence of so-called neoconfucianism in Korean society (albeit maybe less than you do.) It's just that the Korean was never really sold on Tu Wei-Ming's idea. To give it an exotic label seems to be misleading from the fact that essentially, modern Korean culture has relics of norms surviving from an agricultural society.
ReplyDeleteOr did the Korean miss the mark here? This is highly interesting. Please email to continue the discussion. Thanks.
Dear Korean,
ReplyDeleteI know this post is older but I felt I needed to comment anyway..Lets just call it my " own 2 cents" I just got done dating a very very fine Korean man and the reason we broke up is because he wanted to know what it was like to date a black girl but because I am as light as a very pale white woman he felt it was ok to experiment with me ..it was very sad experience since I dated him thinking nothing other than " he is cute and seems nice"
I think people who date people of other racses based on fictional storys are doomed.
"Korean guys are now singled out as a category, and they seem to feature in amorous fantasies of many non-Korean women."
ReplyDeleteHahahaha. Funniest thing I've read in weeks! "Many" huh? You seriously need a reality check man. By and large they are known as effeminate jealous woman beaters and are the lowest rung on the ladder for eligible non-Korean women. FACT!
I'm a white/latina American & I've never dated a Korean but I can appreciate the fantasy. -.- I'm glad my imagination is so vivid. *hides*
DeleteHai! I'm watching a Korean soap opera on TKC right now and these Korean guys are fine as hell. I'm turning. But haha I never liked Asian men until I started watching these shows! The Korean guys in these soaps are super sweet, attentive and romantic, guess that's just the fantasy huh?
DeleteNot really droopy, you just probably feel that way because you got beat up by a korean or a korean took your woman.
ReplyDeletethere is, however, one big difference when it comes to KOREAN men as opposed to other men. that is, not the man himself, but his mother. the korean mother-in-law: that is something unique. view a few korean dramas to see what i mean. a korean man's mother is a big part of his life, and you will have to deal with that sooner or later. especially if your relationship gets more serious and you're looking at marriage. of course, there are exceptions (non-korean mother-in-law from hell, angelic korean mother-in-law), but as a general "rule of thumb" his mother is a big deal.
ReplyDeleteenjoyable read, thanks!
Korean:
ReplyDeleteI wrote a fairly personal post on my newly created blog that kinda nibbles on the subject. Check it out and see what you think.
http://koreanexpat.blogspot.com/2008/07/love.html
wear a shirt that says something in Korean
ReplyDeletenuff said
no wonder i've ever seen oriental caricature about differences between japanese, chinese + korean, in korean section written this " your parents will beat you if you marry outside korea"
ReplyDeleteKorean
ReplyDeleteYou are so hysterical, this was the funniest thing I have read since coming to Korea. I find Korean men incredibly attractive, and not just the celebrities!
I have met a few Korean guys that I'd be interested in, but I get the impression that we "western" women are a bit more forward than they're used to....
Anyway... I look forward to learning more from you!
Hi Lauren,
DeleteI entirely agree with you. I have a feeling that Korean men are somewhat "scared" of foreign women because they do not know how to react to their open-direct ways of approaching men. :) In time, maybe, they will get used to the fact.
Have you had any luck in meeting/approaching Korean men of your interest? (I'm speaking of "on your own" rather than "being introduced to" men)... :D
xo
i usually only laugh at myself but this is classical well thought pant wetting stuff. ive never been attracted to Asian men but what do you know... i land on korean soil and kaboom!!! i cant even look at foreign men any more! that said koreans are hard to date... with as many as 4 in my 6 months here the statistics are an indication of my inadeqaucy at knowing WTF do u wnat? not that i give id just like an idea... anyhow im a south african of Iranian descent so whereas im not black nor am i white im constantly hit with the What are you? no not an alien... regardless they seem to find the "mix" quite appealing so there...for all you brown skin girls wanting korean men.. Fear not you might just be a social experiment BUT on the upside being a guinea pig has its advantages
ReplyDeletei just have to ask, do Korean guys even look at black women?
ReplyDeleteYes! My Korean guy friend in his early 20s came over to study English in Los Angeles, CA. He told me in Korean that he thought black ladies were so sexy. Their bodies were so curvy and he loved that! I would have to say that most Korean guys like Korean girls and not too much outside their race, but there definitely is people outside the norm! You never know until you try. Anyway, he wanted me to introduce me to some black ladies so we hit a popular club in L.A. and he was mesmerized the whole time looking at the fine black ladies dance with a drink in their hand. He thought about asking one of them out but he was too shy (his English wasn't that great) but he had a big grin on his face looking at them all night. I tried asking the girl for him, but he was blushing feverishly and insisted that I don't do that! lol. Anyway, the whole time he was there in L.A. for a year, he would check out the black ladies. He was pretty tall and good looking too. You never know! Like "The Korean" said, they are men before Korean.
DeleteThis is probably a stupid question, but you mean "give him head", right, not "a head"? If not, I'm not familiar with that expression; if so, you're right, she IS a keeper.
ReplyDeletethe age limit of 33 is quite young in the current modern world. What is the normal age that Korean finished their military service?
ReplyDeleteajoyeo, Gala,
ReplyDeletequestions on the comment board will be ignored.
Marilyn,
The Korean always thought the correct phrase was "give a head to get ahead."
Holy, this Blog is absolutely a riot.
ReplyDelete"The Korean always thought the correct phrase was 'give a head to get ahead.'"
LMFAO!
It's too bad I've only recently discovered it, while I am sick with the flu and procrastinating.
AMEN to number 5! You are SO intelligent! You hit the hammer RIGHT on the NAIL!
ReplyDeletethis is too interesting and funny to boot. I'm a black woman and I love korean men, but i think it's a hard barrier to overcome the parents giving consent and all. I also think that korean standards are way higher than western standards. My wish is to have a half korean child, but then I'm not sure that could happen, because I wouldn't want my child without a father, and I don't think that I would be accepted by his father.
ReplyDeleteMichelle, you have to understand that Korean men are quite different than Korean women when it comes to interracial dating and marriages. While non-Korean man (usually white) and a Korean woman couple is pretty common here, it's rare to see a couple the other way around. Even in Korea, people generally frown upon biracial couple in any combination. That's why virtually no famous Koreans are married to or even dating non-Koreans.
DeleteHowever, dating blacks comes with added prejudice and scrutiny by Koreans who aren't accustomed to the notion of associating with dark-skinned people. The Korean culture highly prizes possessing light skin, and the western media still has heavy influences in Korea touting fair hair, fair skin is the standard of beauty.
Lastly, Koreans are obsessed with physical beauty (read my other post). Koreans spend millions each year trying to enhance their appearances by surgically westernizing their looks. Korean parents still consider their daughters to be outsiders once they are married by Confucius ideologies, but they expect their sons to be married to Korean and only Korean women.
I am a Korean guy who have dated girls of all races (I try to be an equal opportunity lover), but when it comes to marriage, I'd only consider a Korean girl to be my wife.
true and hilarious (equal opportunity lover)!
DeleteYou want to marry a Korean girl was because you need your daily dose of kimchi in your three meals
Deletei meant his mother.
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to thank you for taking your time and writing this blog...I appreciate that although race is a sensitive issue, you have made it seem so easy to talk about..
ReplyDeleteI cannot say I approve with this particular article, because I once dated a Korean guy for two years, which btw were the happiest of my life(I'm only 25, but still)..I am European (1st generation)and we still matched very well...
Wow. I guess you are not going to answer my question.
ReplyDeleteI have sent in several questions, and have never received a reply to any of them. :o(
DeleteDear oppa, you crack me up. thanks for the insights. so base on this...men in their late 30s are wasted right? wow...and I am thinking Lee Byung Hun (GI Joe's Storm Shadow - and a dozen other awesome Korean films) is just getting better with age. :)
ReplyDeleteI know that I am New to this topic but I was reading the comments and I have to say that I was really ticked off and hurt by this particular comment. I am a swf from america and never dated a korean of course race don't matter to me I was raised to love everyone no what color you are. Its what your heart that makes you. But anyways just because these men are over 33 yrs old that dont mean they less of a man, useless,abusers or just plain outcasts. They have sh** they deal with. So what if they didn't meet yours or their family's criteria they still have feelings, they have morals,they have hearts the gets trampled on like the rest of us. Yes I was married twice and both times they physically and mentally abusers, and cheaters if course they reason I divorced them but not all men ate like that. If these men get married after 33 so what who cares maybe they just wanted to establish their careers first,or maybe they didn't find that one person that makes their heart race and their souls restless. But to assume they are rude arrogant beaters is just stupid on your part. But that's just my personal opinion. Ty for your time.
DeleteHow do you attract Korean men?
ReplyDeleteBecome a foreign man...
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ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete라셀 (don't know what this mean, I'm not Korean but I have a feeling you are not either), what you said goes for men/women of all countries. I.e.,
ReplyDelete-even blacks prefer black women with lighter skin.
-people of all nationalities talk behind people's back.
-I find that people who pretend to be polite are more viciously rude when they think no one is looking.
-in all countries, they have ill-mannered people like you who belittle others, when you are no better.
- I hate you now, but I'll forget you later
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ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI feel very sorry because I'm a one of korean men and we hurted maybe so many other conturies women.
ReplyDeletealso I'm very sad you'll judge us.
I think korean men is as abnormal as other men are.
some of us are racists actually and others not.
as this is true, some of us are zerkers and want sex from women but others not.
all koreans including me are suffering now some disorder of gap of wealth and thinking as you all did or will do.
I believe that difference in two human objects are bigger than that in two gruops.
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ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletebased on above comment: Koreans do not like others whose color is darker than them is definitely not true bec. why did the so called MOONIES went to the Phillipines to get married?
ReplyDeletei think majority of the korean men looks like authistic except the celebrities...LOL
I dated a Korean guy for 2 1/2 years, I'm black. broke up with him because culturally, we were just too different. I'm Jamaican, He's American and just way too American, in that me-centric way that seems to afflict most of this society.
ReplyDeleteIronically, one of the reasons I dated him to begin with was because I figured since he was first gen, he would have some Korean cultural values, wrong.
Not to mention his parents were, in his words, pretty racist, but he could have cared less about them. That didn't work for me, where I come two families get married, not two people. But when it came right down to it, culturally, we didn't fit and so I walked.
Which kinda sucked cause when he wasn't annoying me to distraction or in danger of becoming my hapkido practice dummy, he was actually really kinda cool.
All you have to do is be a light skin virgin with facial surgery and an anorexic/petite body to attract a Korean guy. Lol
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHmmm..i don't think all Korean guys are that bad..
ReplyDeleteYou know,people changes..
And these is just..to judging over Korean guys,while we actually didn't know too much about 'em..do we know them that deep? So I guess,let's give them a chance,'coz we don't know much about them,right?
After all,we can't just judge over peoples.. Especially,when we are no good than them.. You don't know ANYTHING about them, you are not the GOD,are you?
All I wanna say is,not all Korean guys/Korean peoples are that bad, when we say that they are bad,then they would be as bad as we think,if we think they're bad,it's just the same that we want them to be bad.. And since everyone(so many peoples) thinks Korean guys are bad just because they experienced it, then there will be many and many more bad Korean guys because we think they are..
Let's just think with positive thinking..
The more you think negative about them,the more they become really bad as we think..
I wasn't spanking,ok? It's just my opinion,because this blog is letting people know about Korean guys,and I think some points are right,which I agree(only with few points)
Thank you.
Korean men are men before they're korean...hmmm yeaH but..my korean man,never touched me...he respected me coz he loves me so much...and he broke up with me coz he loved me so much...
ReplyDeleteI have to say that I'm surprised at how insightful your thoughts are on this. Did you get some help from the finance? =)
ReplyDeleteI agree wholeheartedly on everything you've said. Though I do have some thoughts on that as well. As someone who is one of those "typical Korean looking girls" (i.e. petite, long straight hair, dresses conservatively, etc), one of my friends has always told me that that is the reason why guys are attracted to me. Basically what she's referring to is the "cute and innocent" image that she says I apparently give off (I seriously almost barfed at that). Obviously it's her insecurities talking there but there may be some truth to that. At least in Atlanta Korean guys tend to go for that image over any other. It probably has to do with the fact that that's the perfect type to bring home to the parents (particularly to the Korean Mom), because it's the Bible belt, and because for whatever reason guys down here are so much shorter...ugh.
You're blog is awful for the when-you're-just-looking-to-procrastinate moments...! =)
I live in Atlanta too and I've noticed that Korean men only want to be with Korean woman. I'm blonde, very light skinned, and short (basically i give off the "innocent" image too) and still Korean men don't seem to be interested in me. I've heard they also stick to their own kind because they want the woman they are with to understand their culture. I wish they would give girls like me a chance though, because I am completely familiar with Korean culture, and I even want to live there when I am done with college.
DeleteI wonder living in Atlanta, how do you meet more Korean men, and will they ever give white women a chance??
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DeleteTo get a chance to know or to marry Korean men, you have to learn Korean writing and speak fluently with their language. You also have to know how to make good Kimchi and also be capable to eat kimchi, too.
Deletewow good insight, no wonder why my friend who owns a restaurant in atlanta highly advised me not to marry a Korean guy. Thanks for your insight I will totally admire from afar and keep walking
ReplyDeleteWell, interesting facts O.O
ReplyDeleteI'm following your blog.
It's true that Korean men are just like everyone else. Sure there are those cultural differences but they're still human. They can love, hate and everything in between. Foreigner's minds are warped by the media.
ReplyDeleteFrom personal experience with Korean men, one thing I've noticed is their level of respect. I haven't met/talked to a Korean guy that was disrespectful but of course it's out there. But there are many people from all cultures that are just as respectful.. and disrespectful. By asking questions like "what do i have to do to get a korean to like me" blah blah, is nonsense. It reminds me of horoscopes. "How to attract a taurus man." its all generalized. It's fake.
In interracial relationships, cultural boundries are a given. If you're both open minded enough and are able to work through it, more power to ya. But family will always have an influence in any marriage; that's not just restricted to korean men. Family is an important aspect of every culture.
That's really all I have to say.
I know this post is very old, but I thought I'd leave my two cents as a Korean girl...
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with your "a Korean man is a man before being a Korean" philosophy.
However, I think it's important to realize the context in which most of these non-Korean females are asking the question.
Thanks (or no thanks rather) to the Korean wave, women all over the world have fallen in love with the men from Korean dramas, shows, music videos, etc. When they ask you, "how do I attract Korean men", it's important to note they could care less about the average/normal Korean man...instead they are actually asking "how do I snag a ridiculously good-looking, wealthy, tall, smart, charming,and manly but secretly sweet Korean man...just like the ones I see on my TV?"
And in this case, I think you need to burst their delusional bubbles and tell it like it is: native Korean men who fit the above criteria marry Korean women.
I don't even think it's a "criteria", it's as much a given as the fact that she has to be a woman (due to the majority of most native Koreans' intolerance to homosexuality).
Wow...how old is this post again?
ReplyDeleteThat said, I do have to say that while sounding kind of possessive (if you assume, like I do, that -s- is a Korean female), -s- is quite correct in that "native Korean men who fit the above criteria marry Korean women." This is actually relatively true for Korean men living outside of Korea (like me), even if they don't fit *all* of the criteria (to reiterate, they were: "ridiculously good-looking, wealthy, tall, smart, charming,and manly but secretly sweet," of which I can safely say I currently meet only 3 of them, hah).
Let me explain. Koreans in particular (relative to other east Asians, even) emphasize the concept of 민족, or "people," for lack of a better term, more so than other ethnicities, and this pervades many, if not all, aspects of Korean culture. The concept of 민족 extends to interpersonal relationships among all Koreans and is often observed by non-Koreans as "friendliness," "groupthink," "unity," and so on (the terms vary based on the perception). Part of "being Korean" means being accepted by other Koreans as a legitimate member of the Korean 민족, and this applies to relationships and marriage as well. Significant others must, at the minimum, be recognized as at least a potential initiate to the 민족 by the family; otherwise, interracial marriage (and even interracial relationships, since these are seen as potential lead-ins to marriage) is at best viewed neutrally as a lost cause or at worst as a major disaster worthy of ostracism. The degree to which this application of the "Korean people as family" interpretation of 민족 affects a relationship depends primarily on how strongly the Korean part of the relationship (be it the man or the woman) identifies with Korea, Korean culture, Korean identity, etc., a great part of which will be influenced by the family (or in spite of it).
(continued)
ReplyDeleteWhew, long post.
While I cannot say with any certainty that successful Korean/Korean-American men who are smart, possibly wealthy, charming, manly, etc. tend to go one way or another, my personal guess (largely based on personal experience) is that such men will prefer relationships and marriage with Korean (but not necessarily Korean-American) women (partly because Korean-American women have a higher rate of assimilation by relationship) partly because such successful men tend not to have identity issues (and more likely than not will ultimately identify with Koreans and at the very least Korean-Americans more so than with any other demographic) and will desire to have children who can unequivocably be raised as they were (i.e. in an entirely Korean household).
Using my personal preferences as an example, the major reason why I have personally rejected a number of possible relationships (and ended a number of actual relationships) is because I saw no possibility in the future in which the other would acquire at least a semi-Korean identity (e.g. do things such as learn to speak Korean, develop an appreciation for Korean history and culture, and so on) such that any kids we might have would be raised largely, as I was, Korean.
As a Roman Catholic, an athletic former Marine (you'd be surprised how many ex-Marines aren't), a graduate from a prestigious (i.e. US News & World Report top 20) university, and a member of Mensa, I will admit that there have been many opportunities for relationships with rather attractive non-Korean women (because of my own self-imposed restraint due to my preferences and my own ambitions, it is usually the women approaching me, rarely the other way around, or something halfway in between), but the HUGE reason why I 1) rejected a possible relationship at the outset (which, believe me, is not at all easy), or 2) ended a relationship that had already begun (often inadvertently, as my attention is usually directed at other more important endeavors, but I find flirting when blissfully unattached to be harmless fun, and I'm good at it, or so I tell myself, thus getting into trouble sometimes) was because: 1) I could see no future in which she could be accepted as "part of the family" by my own family, thus rendering a serious relationship (outside of friendship) pointless, 2) I had doubts as to whether or not I (and in the future any kids we might have) would become just an extension of a family not my own and not part of the 민족, or 3) I could see she truly had no interest in anything Korean outside of the cosmetic, superficial things (and thus implied that she would not identify with or even be interested in a major aspect of my own identity). This includes a lack of interest in Korean food, which I greatly enjoy (and also make on a semi-regular basis). A huge no-no.
That's my 2 cents, for what it's worth.
I hope not all western women will not be categorized (in this situation) as wanting only "ridiculously good-looking, wealthy, tall, smart, charming,and manly but secretly sweet" Korean men. I mean, what girl wouldn't want their man to be like that? lol BUT every women's preferences and taste are different :) So those characterizations may differ from girl to girl~
DeleteAlso~ I am extremely attracted to Korean men (not just the idols and actors), but it's not just the men...I love the culture, language and the food (which i am learning about, studying, and trying out constantly) So I wouldn't mind becoming part of the 민족.
and just to put it out there~ I'm 168cm, have a medium to tan complexion (half Scandinavian, 1/4 black, 1/4 native American) I have medium length hair, that is black. brown eyes. and I can't exactly be called "cute and innocent" ugh or aegyo...but I dont...for a lack of better words~ Show off everything I've got. lol
and I would eat Korean food everyday if I could~ well, my point was, that not all western woman has some crazy fantasy about extremely sexy Korean men walking everywhere in Korea that they can just snag and marry, but that some of us are really realistic lol
That was just my 2 cents, for what it's worth. :) I hope that other women are similar to me in thinking and dont have weird illusions hahaha
wow, your blog is very interesting. :)
DeleteCharles, Right on!! Very great post! I think America, due to their racial past, underscores importance of race and culture. I feel more connected to Korean girls not because of their looks, but I can speak Korean and share our culture with them. Also, most Korean interracial couples are probably uneducated or highly educated people. Vast majority of educated Koreans will most likley married within. JMHO.
DeleteAn old comment but it was like a slap on the face so I wish to answer...
DeleteYes, I belong to that group (if individuals have to be pressed into a group...) who likes korean people (another 'group') and I am a woman so obviously I am interested rather in men if we are talking about a closer relationship - sorry being not liberal enough... But now, after reading your post I feel a bit mad, humiliated, stupid and so on... For me it started with korean dramas and not because I found men so handsome. In fact at first was quite the opposite (guess because I belong to another race, their faces was a bit different). As far as I remember it was your actor Lee Seo-Jin I saw first (and found him rather ugly for 10 minutes or so) but went beautiful as story and his caracter developed together the rest of talented stuff. And I just stucked into korean dramas because even if those stories were silly sometimes or overly emotional or unrealisticly naive but had a good sense of morals and were pretty free of ruining society with messages of harsh perversity or political brainwashing like eg US dramas use to influence society. After watching a korean drama I felt refreshed and almost happy (while after watching an US one I felt depressed and dirty). And after suprisingly short time I started to find people beautiful / attractive enough and familiar, and their environment, past and food were interesting, too. Not everything of course, on the other hand I do not like slap parties of women, jokes about toilet and too strong influence of some family leaders or even do not see the importance of designer bags. :-) But I am a huge fan of kimchi and now can't live without it, even learnt how to make it for myself together some other korean food and hate soju coused head-ace so shall stay away in future. I think everyone of us has own preferences that what or rather who is attractive to us and who is not. On my part the explanation was easy - why I found attractive a different culture and race and why I felt their whole world so familiar in my 'bones'? Even in this liberal world it would be a big lie if we deny that lot of us were influenced by family, nation and stayed away from other nationts /races. (At least I came from a country where other colours and nations were a tiny minority and not really accepted by rest of society.) But somehow that part of Asia is just so familiar to me in a strange way. I am a true european by appereance but my ancestors came from that part (or almost) of the world and 1000+ years (Mongolia) and had mongolian appereance even our genes a good match to them as I recently read.
Due to this (?) now I am interested in, probably / theoretically would be happy to have a korean friend, but your comment... I just hope it does not reflect the point of majority... I would like to say with true heart that thank you for your honesty even if it ruined illusions / friendly preconceptions but is this the truth? Opinion of majority of your people? I should give up and turn my head to a direction where I won't feel so pathetic and humiliated giving friendly intentions to people who may despise me and consider me inferior? Really?
"The Korean always thought the correct phrase was 'give a head to get ahead.'"
ReplyDeleteHmm. I think it's "give head to get ahead." Without the indefinite article.
I am starting to doubt whether "Ask a Korean" is actually a Korean.
ReplyDeleteThe majority of Korean men do not beat their wives, yes some do. But Italian, Greek and Spanish men do as well. (I'm just using these races as an example, no offense intended)
American men beat their wives as well, have any of you heard of "covenant house". So do black American males.
My job requires that I see a lot of victims of abuse and violence. And the women I see, tend to reflect the ethnic composition of the neighborhoods. Yes we keep hidden stats and even some of my more biased co-workers agree.
My main concern is that Koreans who often stereotype themselves have a tendency to stereotype other ethnicities as well.
Media, TV and movie portrayal of Asian men have caused a whole generation of male Asian-Americans' to self hate. Who is controlling these 3 sectors?
I agree with you. Vision is so bad that arises in the Korean man blog you can say it's racist.
DeleteI have read blogs and opinions of women who have relationship with a Korean man and they have no problems, it's many problems that arise, many women can account for them from the beginning: as the deal to you, if he wants have sex with you, and you need not take years of relationship (or have planned to marry) to see if the family is agree.
And I am absolutely convinced that many women who want to have a relationship with a Korean man is not the ideal of "ridiculously good-looking, wealthy, tall, smart, charming, and secretly manly but sweet", but because they seem romantic, sweet, loving, they pay attention to their girlfriends, honest, do not want them for sex ....... SOMETHING THAT EVERY WOMAN SEARCH AND IT'S SO HARD TO FIND, at least in the West.
I know this post is hella old, but still great topic. It's definitely one of the things that I had to often tell myself while I was living in Korea, that Korean men are men first and foremost. I honestly don't think any one Korean men can speak for all of them. There are plenty of Korean men out there that are open to dating foreign women. I think the problem is that many of them often don't think that foreign women are attracted to them.
ReplyDeleteI noticed that a lot of Korean men were terribly shy as...expect maybe in the clubs that's when they really seem to hit on me. Anyway I think it just boils down to shyness and maybe the lack of English and other culture barriers.
One thing that I will never understand, how one of the posters here was going about why he rejected other non-Korean women. Everyone has their bias but to simply to reject other women just because their not Korean just seems a bit contrived to me. Often times I find just because someone is the same race as myself doesn't necessary mean we are going to get alone better. Some of my closets friends are Korean both male and female. I got friends from other races as well...as an outsider looking in its often time a culture thing Korean culture is based on what's best for the group, rather than the individual. To each is own hopefully one day I'm hoping to find my Korean prince charming :)
I really enjoy this blog. The few articles that I've read were very interesting, but this one particularly caught my eye. I'm brown and recently started going out with a Korean guy. Have no idea what will happen but I'm more than willing to learn more about him and his culture. He's 4chawon, too! Heh...
ReplyDelete^.^
ReplyDeleteI personally think that this crazyness for getting a korean date is actually bad for korean men, it can only make them back to their own people. They are seen now as we r all in the market and they r just products to buy...so bad. Am a 28 years old latin woman, i have been in europe and the US, i had a b/f in the US for a year or so. He was absolutely different from me. Me brown skin, big brown eyes, alway smiling and active person. He, blue eyed, blond haired, 1.80 tall... we loved each other and had fun, but when it came to background it become different. e really get along, but still, we belong to different worlds, different way to face life indeed, culture, et, everything counts...even the food. It the same for koreans, they r just trendy now, just like latin girls are for europeans or any other fashion move through the years... soon other will take their place... I think they r cute, but do not get blind. At the end, we r all people who looks for our significant other, and he/she cant be right next to the corner and it wont matter if this person is black, while, red, korean or greek...it will only be him/herself what we need.
From my experience, Korean men (whether they admit it or not) want to settle down with a Korean woman.
ReplyDeleteI have friends all born outside of Korea who want to get married to a Korean woman - preferably westernised, but if not, it's still ok as long as either: (a) he has an income and (b) she is pretty enough for them to live on one income.
When I speak to them about who they want to marry, they are all looking for a Korean woman but find westernised Koreans' standards are too high and don't really want to meet a Korean from Korea because of needing to fulfil (a) and (b) above. Eventually, they find one of the two mentioned... although these days I'm finding alot of them are marrying Koreans from Korea.
When they date, they don't mind dating whoever. However, when hanging out with Korean friends, they do not bring their girlfriends and are a little ashamed to bring them into the Korean restaurants etc because people stare...
I'm not being racist here against anyone - but those are my observations as a westernised Korean born outside of Korea. (And yes, my husband is Korean).
^Jason ~ regarding Korean MIL ~ GOOD POINT. After dealing with my (Korean) ex-bf's mom I will NEVER ever ever ever date a Korean again. While most Asian MILs are pretty bad, Korean ones are the worst. The dramas are no joke.
ReplyDeleteIn response to David... I wonder if that's why my Filipino boyfriend seems annoyed by his own people? But not just Filipinos but Asians in general... oh sure, he loves his anime and listening to the kpop songs I like but he's always shaking his head and saying **cking asians :-/ He seems embarrassed to be asian sometimes... and all I keep telling him is how interesting I think his and other asian cultures are... well I guess other cultures in general but more recently asians have become more interesting to me. I think a lot of it is that I grew up in a small town in not quite northern michigan off of Lake Michigan - a very white and racist area... although I often visited my grandmother whose stepchildren are all half-white/half-japanese. And I remember thinking how white people seemed so boring and my step-aunts and step-uncle seemed to be the most beautiful people i'd ever seen :p I pretty much still feel this way... although about half of the guys i've ever dated have been white, the other half have been persian, mexican, black, indian and now filipino. I will say that recently I do have a crush on male korean celebrities... but I think it goes back to when I used to look at my step-uncle when I was a little girl and thought he was the most gorgeous man i'd ever seen :) The only about korean men that i've seen on tv... sometimes they can come off as really feminine in some ways but I try to be very open-minded and will remind myself every culture is different (thank god, I will admit I have my own self-hate of Americans... stupid, cocky bastards is often how I see my own people). So although initially some westerners think korean men are hot... some will quickly be turned off by what we see as feminine qualities - I will never forget the first time i saw this music video for this song called "Face" where the singer magically goes thru a makeover on the spot... he waves his hand in front of his face once and i'm thinking,"Does he have eyeliner on now?? weird..." and then he waves his hand in front of his face and he has more makeup on o.O At first I thought it was really weird but when I got used to it I sort of thought of it as kind of... hot? Like extreme metrosexual :p I showed my boyfriend this video and he's like,"**cking asians".
ReplyDeleteOH, and one thing my boyfriend points out all the time is what he calls ABD (asian booty disease), he loves other women that aren't asian because he loves at least some curves... although from what he's told me filipinos aren't really picky about interracial dating so meeting his mom wasn't an issue at all, she just kept saying,"Ohhhh, how you get such pretty girl??" :p He has also said being gay isn't a big deal in the Philippines either, gay men can even cross dress and kiss eachother freely in the streets and it's no big deal. Interesting how one asian culture is so relaxed and yet koreans are so conservative?
ReplyDeleteI just gotta say, this blog really cracks me up.
ReplyDeleteAnd the comments are equally interesting.
Just goes to show that this IS a big (and sometimes bad) world. Stereotypical categorizations may be an entertaining (though some - I'm doing everything I can not to pin adjectives on them - will argue that it is not) topic. But of course, one has to be open-minded enough to consider the varied personality traits of every individual.
Not to mention, consider the sense of humor of the author.
Chill, people!
Wow, this post is old (as many stated lol ^^) but I am compelled to comment.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading many comments, so of you guys freaked me out completely. Especially since I'm attracted to Korean men (but just not Korean's but Asian men in particular < actually race doesn't matter but whatever>) and at the moment I'm actually really liking this guy that is Korean. He's not a celebrity, not overly handsome, not that tall either (lol); he's just a regular guy whose heritage is Korean. I think that whole "Korean men are this....and Korean men are this" is kind of crazy. It makes me wonder if there is a blog on African American women....
My advice is this, be yourself. Also ask question about his culture, try food that comes from his home, and also be genuine/open to new things.
With me, I'm actually learning Korean, not because of him but because I want to become an ESL teacher in South Korea. So I already had questions ready and information that I knew to show my interest in his culture.
Also know that color can be an issue but address it head on instead of tip-toeing around it.
Also:
아자! ^^ ㅋㅋㅋ
It's funny because this happens in US/Canada also. Korean-American men think white/black women aren't attracted to them. White/Black women think they aren't attractive to Asian male. If you are teaching English in Korea and run into some fine Korean guys, the chances are, you won't find any opportunities. Unless you are desperate and aggressive...
ReplyDeleteI'm actually one of those Koreans who find all races beautiful. My family do not find interracial marriage as a problem. I've dated white,indian, and Hispanic girls. They were all very nice and I'm still friends with some of them. Major thing about interracial marriage is that Korean culture is very different. Most with women on DISADVANTAGE! I personally was afraid of that 'traditional wife duty' culture. (This might have changed for very few modern people in Korea). I'm sure Korean men dating foreign women are thinking the same. Family, heritage, and tradition are apparently very important to them. Of course you are expected to respect all that and follow up with it. But then again, you can't generalize 'men'. We are all different and think different.
Pretty interesting read. I've been in Korea for about 7 years now. I am a Black American female, 184 cm and a heavier set woman. I find that there are plenty of attractive Korean men and there are some willing to date outside of their culture. We go out, stay in, laugh and enjoy each other’s company. It does seem that most dating outside of their culture are looking for a blond haired White woman though. That is just my observation.
ReplyDeleteThere are definite cultural differences and I think there is some truth to the statement that at the end of the day they want to settle down with a Korean woman. They always seem amused at the fact that I love Korean food, can make my own version of some dishes ^^ , am trying to learn the language (although it’s hard when even if I say something right they answer me in English! LOL) and am truly interested in the culture. I am guessing that many times they are the ones having to do most of the assimilating in an interracial relationship. I think it’s best to live in the moment when you are a non-Korean dating a Korean. Enjoy your time together. If you are wanting something serious, it is best (as with any relationship) to discuss that right at the beginning so feelings are not smashed up in the long run. But again, Korean men are m-e-n, so they may tell you what you want to hear just to get into your pants. lol
I totally agree with you,Mr Ask A Korean.I was working with the Koreans for about a year. And as what i had observed they want to have a relationships with Filipinas because they wanted to have sex and they wanted to learn English. Its sad to say but its true...They are selfish people and always think about money and how to take advantage on your weaknesses...
ReplyDeleteDear Korean, love your post on Korean men. I've encountered a few Korean men who are generally nice (not necessarily good looking) during my visits to Korea. Since I've been misconstrued as a Korean (with small frame, fair skin, double-eyelid and high bridge nose - you know where I'm getting at; never did plastic surgery), I think most Korean men will look for Korean women as their lifetime partner. Then again, Korean men are 'men' first. I've also heard that in Korea, the person you marry is not necessarily someone you love, so long as they meet the family's criteria. After watching a lot of k-dramas, I think the 'mother-in-laws' protrayed in them just puts me off Korean men. But I guess that's not all true, right?
ReplyDeleteI've been absolutely in love with a Korean guy for the past three months. I'm a relatively good-looking, well educated, white American from Massachusetts who loves to cook. We had love at first sight. He's actually studying English but the language barrier hasn't changed our feelings at all. Truly, I think we're just kindred and race is irrelevant. Here are a few possible cultural differences I have noticed:
ReplyDelete1. The sex is absolutely amazing. I don't know if it's just him, but I've never EVER experienced someone so passionate (I'm 24).
2. I said "I love you" twice accidentally last month, and was slightly perturbed when he didn't reply back. However, a couple weeks later when we had a "relationship talk" i.e. "how serious are we," he came right out and told me he loved me. I brought it up to him a few weeks later, how I had said it to him with no response, and he said when I say "I love you," in his mind, he does something to SHOW me he loves me back and saying it back immediately didn't occur to him. Whether this is BS or not, I noticed that if I did say it, he always touches me or holds me or kisses me after I say it. Is this a Korean thing or is he just weird? He's from Busan( and has a thick accent, lol).
3. He ALWAYS carries my things and helps clean and is a gentleman. More than any American guy I've ever seen. Even if I do the "No, it's okay, I can carry it," he insists.
Okay, I'm finished.
Okay, I'm finished.
Korean men are the most sexually attractive men I've ever seen.....it is so overwhelming to think that I can be with one, sorry, how can I be with a korean man? I'm white nordic woman, thnks
ReplyDeleteif you're a white nordic woman.. you just need to know a korean man that's all period. :)
Deletevery funny and true!
ReplyDeletewhy would you want to attract them is the real question
ReplyDeleteahaha I think its pretty funny this is the "top question"
ReplyDelete"Korean guys are now singled out as a category, and they seem to feature in amorous fantasies of many non-Korean women." ahaha best quote ever
I am guilty of watching a few korean dramas myself...forced okay I was FORCED by my friends..mother... but I mean I am old enough to know the ultimate prince charming does not exist in any ethnicity.
I've been dating a Korean man and I am an Indian. I find the whole Korean guys only like Korean women to be kind of inaccurate. The Korean guys I've known enjoy females of all ethnicities, especially if you have a pretty face and/or nice body. Like all men.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I am worried about his mother, luckily we can't speak the same language...yet.
To me I think all men are fine and I don't discriminate against anyone. People shouldn't limit themselves to just one type because there is not just one type. The earth is full with an array of culture that is a unique feature and we should all divulge in it. Yes, it maybe hard because Black women in general and Korean men are raised completely different and their culture are too. The fact is that you have to meet an open minded person because if you dont he or she will never fight for u if his parents or her parents dont agree with it. This is for both sides of the matter. Because in the african american community, black parents dont want their son or daughter dating outside their race. It is all about race it has always been,but i was reading a article not to long ago it says race doesnt even exist! You wanna know why?In human history people have always came in contact with another race therefore mingling with each other sometimes, but the major fact is that the so called races we made up arent real, humans have not been isolated enough to evolved into a certain goup of people so within human we shouldn't even have subgroups because we are all mixed and that there is only one race and that race for yah is the HUMAN RACE!
ReplyDeleteHi Im From Mexico ..Greeting :3
ReplyDeleteIs that common for a Korean man married to an older woman? Can the korean family accept it?
ReplyDeleteno that implies that you are of higher status and most Korean man don't like women that are of higher status than them.
DeleteThis made me laugh!
ReplyDeletei'm a hella alot younger than most of the people that posted but i was always curious about the korean culture and how they saw foriegners, I myslef never understood it no matter how many videos i saw things i read it all depends on the person so dating also depends on the person and it might lead back to the background of theh culture. I want to travle when i'm older and the first place i wanna go to is south korea but poeple tell me all the time that i'm just too far fetched n i look them and go have u been there? if not stop judging people based off of stereotypes, i mean things could change in 5-6 years so I'm not gonna judge based off other's thoughts and go see it for myself...
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laughs. I found both the post and the comments entertaining. Thanks again The Korean. ;)
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHaha, oh my goodness! Your website made me laugh like crazy! It's really funny and educational-- thanks for the lols!
ReplyDeleteI have found that the younger korean generation are more open to date outside their race, that being said, young korean men tend to be more open about dating other races than young korean women. I have found that some korean men seem to have some fixation in regards to what kind of women they picture themselves with, in turn, THEY WILL NOT CHANGE their "bad" behavior until they find the person they picture themselves with. Coming from the perspective of a hispanic man who married a korean woman, my wife has shared with me that she doesnt really like korean men because they are mostly full of themselves and they need an ego check. A non-korean friend of mine told me she wouldnt date a korean guy because they look too feminine. In any case, I have korean male friends who are good guys and some of them are dating material, the ones with some sort of mental fixation about who they want to be with, not so much.
ReplyDeleteWow what an old post but still hilarious. Korean men are no different than any other guy out there. These poor girls read too much into those Korean Dramas.
ReplyDeleteIs it bad are no suitable if a korean man the age of 25 date a women who is the age 23 or 22?
ReplyDeleteI think your blog is funny. I know it is quite old, but just in case you are still looking at it...
ReplyDeleteI'm a half Korean half French girl. I'm thinking of going to Korea for the summer and maybe even buying an apartment for my mother there. What do Koreans (men & women) think of half Koreans like me? Do you think it will comfortable for me?
In my experience, if a korean guy will even talk to you at all..it's moreso out of curiousity as if you are some foreign animal and your sexual habits must be SO different from any female or porn they've watched on t.v. They can't wait to test you out. They want to see what it's like and they talk a BIG game. Yet have no real intention of treating you like a Korean girl(dates/gifts/respect), a girl they might introduce to their friends, or family....let alone a human being with feelings.
ReplyDeleteIf you aren't Korean you can't possibly have morals or values or self respect. However most koreans will not share this "korean respect" outside of their culture.
I love living in Korea, but I find this so-called "front" of respect and class to be fake, two-faced and completely different behind closed doors.
If you are a kind and "pure" person, aren't you this way to everyone?
Oh no...only to people who look like you or live where you do. The rest of us...well...not worthy of.
Living here as long as I have, I want to make it clear that of course not everyone is this way. But I promise you, a majority is...
so much "education" yet so much ignorance.
@ThisJane
ReplyDeleteNo offense but you're an idiot. DO YOU even wonder if maybe the korean guys you met are just not into you because maybe they think you're too ugly compared to other white women or if they find you extremely attractive, they probably think you're already take...lots of guys feel this way not just Korean guys.
Make your point without personal attacks. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteI am shocke dto find out that Koreans are racist! I love asians so this is an utter shock. FYI I am Black
ReplyDeletei had an ex bf who is a korean.. before i met him, ive dated many korean guys and a japanese guy.. among those korean guys i dated, my last ex bf is the best.. we loved each other, he even stayed in my house (btw-- im a filipina but im fair skinned and looks like a korean girl) we had a sweet, fun and amazing love story but when he went to australia, he promised me that he will come back for me but one day he send me a message saying that he cant marry me and that he thinks about his ex gf who is a korean.. i accepted it and thank him because he became so brave enough to tell me how he truly feels.. even if our relationship is over, he made me a better person and to be honest i never felt angry because he is a great man... anyway, next time I will be more careful and not to fell in love too soon not only with korean men but all men of all races.. girls must be careful and most especially we must be wise so that we will not get hurt in the end.. but even if i was hurt, even if i cried for him... i can say, its worth it because he really loved me.. but i will make my future husband the luckiest man on earth-- thats what i promised to myself =)
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteVB...I wish the same...The Korean..your hilarious my friend...you always keep me laughing...
ReplyDeleteHey, just one question. When you said, "Give him a head. (She's a keeper)" Did you mean suck his dick? If so, got it! Great advice.
ReplyDeleteumm, just a thought if 2 people fall in love - i dont think race comes into play as much as is stated. however as this seems to be about racism - ass holes come in all colors .
ReplyDeleteand there are great and sincere people in all races
infatuation,lust and delusion of love are not part of being in love
to love and being inlove are also different
were lucky to find a genuine friend inlife - and not every one can play that role ( same in love)
Bwahahahahahah
ReplyDeleteThis article was funny. I have a Korean boyfriend and I've got something to tell to the girls interested in the super handsome Korean actors.
The TV displays only part of the truth, hiding the bigger part and replacing it with lies. So do not completely trust the television, especially not the mainstream. Rather search videos about ordinary Korean people before making conclusions. Personally I prefer real Koreans better than the idols, because the idols look like dolls and in real they look like they are human than I can really touch. They are much more charming and each guy has his own special charm. The idols are pretty charming, but their charm is nothing but a pattern.
Korean or not, the right guy will like you if you're kind and polite and I agree with all of what The Korean said about it. However, there might be some common criteria made by culture. Weather they are boys or girls, they like slim and tall people, as I noticed, but I saw fat and short girlfriends and boyfriends as well.
Anyway, if you're in a hurry to get a Korean boyfriend, you may go to clubs or try internet dating sites. That's pretty common here.
But that's not how I met mine, though. Our story is a bit.... It's a long story.
who cares about 'korean' men, all that matter to me is he's a 'caring' man, that's all!
ReplyDeleteFunny read, dear Korean didn't you know Korean guys are the ultimate Asian studs,lol.
ReplyDeleteWe should clearify between Korean and Korean American guys. They aren't the same.
I think in general, Korean (in Korea) guys would be hesistant to approach a western girl due to language and simply not being exposed to western girls not show interest due to societal pressures although I heard that is easing as well. I heard 1 out 10 newly married people are with foreign wives.
Now, Korean American guys are much more open and willing to date outside of their ethnicity. I know of few Korean American guys who have white girlfriends. One is married with two kids. Stats show 1 out 3 US born Korean American guys are married to white girls.
Most of my girlfriends have been white girls, although initially my mom didn't exactly approve but she relented and she accepted my choices. Honestly, it would be a problem if I brought a black girl though.
@Kiki
Korean guys would dig Eurasian girls like you,they are always attractive.
If this is true about the Korean culture, I am truly saddened, that as humans the most of them think this way. I enjoy some of the Kpop and some of the Korean dramas, so this blog is most enlightening. I have no preference in cultures when it comes to dating, but bigotry is very ugly and most unfortunate for those that are and people that befriend people of this nature. Prejudice is every where, but when the majority of a culture still has this mind set, it effects the growth of all man kind. Whoever you are, I hope you wake up and begin to truly live. Kudos to the new generation of Korean guys and girls who are not afraid to go beyond the borders that have been set for them, it's a beautiful out there!
ReplyDeleteum...this is not all true. im korean and trinidadian...if a korean man is rascist then how is my dad with my mom for 17 years? i grew up in korea and i have light tan skin...i date only korean men and they and their family seem ok with me? i have an exotic look so its not as if i look full korean because i dont :/ im sorry but i cant belive the stuff some people say over internet...if someone likes you i dont think they are looking at your skin color.
ReplyDelete"Korean dramas feed upon the fact that you womenfolks (sic)are always trying to find some men that do not exist in real world. Please just let it go." Na-icely said! 속이 뻥 뚫리듯이 시원한 말..하나 잘하네!
ReplyDeleteI know this post is old, but I noticed people were commenting on it. @ Son Of A Gun. I just wanted to say that Koreans, like all humans have good and bad qualities. Unfortunately, since Koreans (not Korean-Americans) have not been exposed to other races and only know what they see in the movies and from American tv shows that are imported to Korea. Mainstream America's portraying African American men as criminals and thugs is mostly what they're exposed to.
ReplyDeleteThey don't see the good Middle Class African American dads with their families or actually meet many people of other colors (Asian are people of color too), so they tend to be racist because of the negative sterotypes created by white people.
Being Asian American I've run across racism from all types of people here in the US. Not just whites, but blacks and Hispanics too. Because they haven't been around people who are different from them and only see the negative stero-types. And because they don't get to know you or people of another race as a person.
I think that these stero-types also get in the way of dating Korean men if you're a non-Korean woman. Even if the guy loves you and sees what a beautiful person you are inside and outside, his family will have a negative attitude towards you because of what they think you're like. No matter what race or ethnicity you are, if you're not Korean, they won't have much experience with a non-Korean and will see the stero-types instead of see you as a individual.
If you want to date a Korean guy who you really like, I say go ahead. You can have fun spending time with each other and learning about each other's cultures. But don't get too serious because it most likely won't work out.
Heck, I'm 100% Korean (Korean-American) and I wouldn't date a Korean guy (if I was still single) since the cultural differences are too great.
Im of european decent and female.. Never intended to date a korean while being here but it happened! He always says that all men are the same.. But i do think korean guys are more caring and the speed of the lationship being official is much faster.. Ive had so many talks about children, marriage, my dreams for the future and plans etc etc
ReplyDeleteIts only been 2 months since we have been official bu he even mentioned children himself the other day and this is coming from someone who is careful about what he says..
The other thing about him which i think comes from being korean is the respect he has for everyone around him.. Us not kissing in public or infront of his parents and watching what we say or wear.. Plus its just a different type of love. Its so caring and words are not cheapened which i found i couldnt trust the words of western men anymore.. Becuase they ended up just being words..
Anyway, i love him and i love his family and the thought of us not working out would be really the saddest conclusion..
I disagree korean men are full of themselves.. I think the are mostly very thoughtful and careful and sensitive making them really quite self conscious. Hes asked me if im his type, why i like him, why i go out with him and his reasons are usually based on vanity. In saying that.. He told me i would be more beautiful if i got lipo and boob job and my chin bone shaved down a little.. Ewww.. So i went to the gym and lost weight and he hasnt said anymore haha But the way he holds me at night really makes me think he loves me and after all, love is an international language .. With an open mind and willingness to learn, anything is possible.
This is in reply to Alice. Alice I'm glad that you met a nice guy who makes you happy. Korean guys are guys so there are good guys to date and bad guys. And if he was born and raised in the same country that you're living in or at least raised in that country (brought there at a very young age), culturally he would think and act mostly the way people in that country think and act. So even if he's a little more respectful of others because that's how his parents raised him to be, he would still mostly think and act they way the majority of the people in the country he grew up in do. Unless he grew up in a very small exclusively Korean community. So I don't think there would be a huge cultural difference between the two of you. I didn't mean that I wouldn't date a Korean-American if I was still single, just a "real" Korean who was born and raised in Korea since the cultural differences are so great. Even though I grew up attending Korean-American churches my whole life (they have sermon in English as well as in Korean), I'm Americanized and English is the only language I'm fluent in so I know there would be a huge communicational and cultural barrier with someone who was born and raised in Korea.
ReplyDeleteIf he was born and raised in Korea, you could have problems later on in your relationship. Not just because of the cultural differences between the two of you, but also because his family thinks and acts differently. And unless you're lucky and end up with an understanding and loving Korean mother-in-law (my mom's very loving and forgiving to people of all races and colors), you're in for some hardships. My mother suffered terribly because her mother-in-law was extremely jealous of my mom and constantly tried to get everyone to hate her. If they knew my mom (she's a very sweet loving person) and knew my grandmother (petty and jealous of others), they would know who was the bad one. Lol. If you and your boyfriend make compromises and accept the things that you can't change, you can still make it work. It will be difficult, but I think you can still eventually have a happy loving marriage and family. Good luck. I wish you and your boyfriend a happy future together.
With all of these foreign women wanting the koreans, i am worried that one day, korea would not be the homogenous nation that it was and still is now? (but I am no korean so why do i give a darn?)
ReplyDeleteHow can you believe that after so many invasion and occupations of Korea by foreign nations, they are truly homogenous?
DeleteThere are a lot of myths regarding Koreans and Korean men in general. To those who think that women from around the world would drool over Korean dudes, wake up and smell the kimchee. Surely, The Korean Wave has exalted the image (more like an illusion) of how beautiful Korean people are, but the proliferation of plastic surgery in Korea isn't limited to just women.
ReplyDeleteKoreans have admirable qualities, but being overly fixated on physical beauty isn't one of them. Koreans are proud of their heritage, and maintaining a unique culture that's different than their powerful neighbors' (Chinese & Japanese)is something remarkable. However, having plastic surgery to appear more western would nullify what Koreans have fought for centuries to remain uniquely Korean.
This is what I think also. Kind of an oxymoron to want to look white, but be Korean. BTW, I am a fan of Korean/Chinese dramas as well, especially historical.
DeleteIt is somewhat of an oxymoron to want to be as white as possible and want to be Korean. I am Scot/Irish, English, Native American (you'd be surprised how much they look like Koreans), and if I checked my DNA probably a little black. I am also fair-skinned, blonde, and blue-eyed. I AM the American Girl. I am fascinated by the Korean culture and love K-dramas, especially Korean historicals.
DeleteReading these posts is good; interesting.
ReplyDeleteI come away with the following: 1. Koreans are racist...and it is dumb because there are ppl who find them to be inferior as well as an example.
2) The race as a whole is homophobic..in spite of M4M postings to the opposite..(Again I am not painting a whole race just pointing out how ridiculous racism/bigotry is)
3. Won't go against their mommy to date or marry outside their race.
I say Good Riddance to Korean men...And, advise women to ignore them..and to bulgogi and his white girl loving family, the racism that your culture embraces makes this no surprise.
So, I take away that Koreans are a racist, small minded bunch not worth knowing..
"No man expects to find a woman who cooks like Rachel Ray and screws like Jenna Jameson."
ReplyDeleteguess we're just that rare.
I can't believe people actually send in these questions. wow.
Despite what people say that koreans are rascist i believe if he is in love he wont care about rascim but i dont think it will work on me,i heard koreans hate blacks so much and unlucky me i was born black.but is it possible for a korean to marry a black girl
ReplyDeleteI would like to reply to you, Melody. As a young woman born black, I find your comment to be childish, desperate, disgraceful, insulting, and unconfident. How dare you see you being born black as unlucky just because you hear a Korean man would not want you? Does that make the whole black ethnic group unlucky, too? I mean, with the many people who don't want to associate with us due to our skin color and all..? Just...how dare you? Let me tell you something. If it is meant for a Korean man to fall in love with you and marry you, then it'll happen. It's possible for some of them to like black women, I know of a few. But what disgusts me (about how you just portrayed yourself) is that you find being black as unlucky because it is possible a Korean man would not want you (so I guess you blame your parents for creating such an unlucky black daughter? What a shame). Here's a news flash for you: It is possible for any man you want to not want you, no matter his color or cultural background. There are men of our own ethnic group who do not want a black woman. If he doesn't want you, he doesn't want you. Get over it and move on to someone who's worth your affection...which might even mean a non-Korean man in the end (though that may sound unpleasant to you, I really don't know. I only assume from your given information). And for goodness' sake, get some confidence. You're black. Your skin is darker than what a Korean is used to. Some of them might like it, some will not. Either way, you might as well embrace it or your life will be hell if it isn't right now because of that thinking. Your way of thinking just sickened and enraged me, I must honestly say.
DeleteI am a 16 year old teenage black girl , and my boyfriend and i have been together for 2 years . He talks about getting married and even naming our future children all the time .
DeleteThe MOST IMPORTANT part however, is the fact that he ONLY dates black girls . I'm talking he REFUSES to date Asians. AND his older brother also ONLY dates Black (or at least half black) women . His mom accepts me, buys me stuff, and even has a nickname for me (Even though it means baby LOL) . I've even met some of his extended family members . We're ALMOST like a family (even though she like ONLY speaks Korean and I'm probably going to have to learn it before we get married . I can read and write it already , even though i only know things like "hi" and "i love you" .)
And it isnt just me . I have SERIOUS K-Fever and live in a heavily Asian area, and the guys are CURIOUS about black chicks, TRUST ME .
However, its still VERY RARE that they will date you and that it will last long . And its even RARER that their family will accept you . But . Given the right circumstances, and person, you COULD just find the perfect little (or BIG) Asian for you .
I know your quest to marry a Korean guy have turned out to be a sour tune for you Melody, but have a little faith. Unfortunately, race, ethnicity, and religion do play a role when it comes to dating & choosing mates. I don't mean to sound corny, but true love just happens, it's not something anyone can plan on.
DeleteIf you go to YouTube, there are videos of Black girls & Asian guys(not sure if the dudes are Korean)expressing preference for each other. Maybe you can contact someone from the video you like and start a relationship. Hey, why not? It's cheaper than EHarmony or Match.com. Whatever happens, remember to be yourself. Good luck!
PS
I wouldn't be too mindful of what Lysha has said to you, she sounds little too bitter & militant.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteLysha im sorry i diddnt mean it that way,im proud to be black.but deep down i wish to get married to a korean guy thats all.
ReplyDelete안녕하세요!
ReplyDeleteThanks for giving interesting information about KOREAN MEN.
I guess this made me more aware now on how to mingle with them.
감사합니다!
*^_^*
I found this to be very interesting. I dated a Japanese man for 4 years and when my Japanese visa was up, so was the relationship.
ReplyDeleteI'm a white American with brown hair and blue eyes, but honestly it's up to the man if he wants to be with me. I'd love to have a Japanese or Korean husband, but not if I have to change anything about me. They have to take me as I am. If they can't deal with that then it's time to push them aside and move on to the next one.
How much does a Korean man expect you to learn his language or culture? The Japanese guy didn't care at all and just spoke English to me all the time.
Very interesting thoughts and stereotypes :)-. I'm married to a very sucessful Korean, highly educated and came from a wealthy family. We've been married for 10 years and counting. Racist? I don't think so. I'm a Southeast Asian and yes my skin is darker but his family adores me. His dad( a former doctor) and mom ( stay at home mom) loves me. She would wait for me before we start dinner..
ReplyDeleteI forgot to mention that my husband is very good looking and tall:)- we met when I we were 26. We got married a year after when I finished grad school. He is an attorney
ReplyDeleteFor any girls that are still wondering does a Korean guy like them, or why does he act the way he does, and don't want to bother Mr. Korean here, feel free to visit http://lovingkorean.wordpress.com/.
ReplyDeleteBut I'm going to have to agree with this article: Korean guys are as same or as unique as any other guy out there. It really depends on the person.
wow, I'm a white girl with a Korean boyfriend and this kind of freaked me out. I have a lot of Korean friends from college and they are all really great people.. so thats why I trusted and dated a Korean guy.
ReplyDeleteDon't be freaked out! Korean men are humans too. They have not been programmed and destined to follow some computer code.
DeleteI have a Korean boyfriend, for a long time now and everything is fine. His family accepted me and I have never been so in love with another guy. If you like him, don't listen to what others say.
why do Korean people that are living in another country (for example Peru)always tend to talk and spend time with other koreans, i mean, they have a closed social circle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????????????????
ReplyDeleteIt is not just korean. According to my experince young people rather tend to spend time with foreing people and more open than middle aged or older (pubs help a lot) :-) But possible reasons: the others consider them inferiors / intruders and deal with them in that way. Lack of proper knowledge of the other's language which case speaking is rather a burden after office-hours. Cultural differences, different kind of education, tales, even movies, books, food, social meanings. Some can be funny (depend on how open minded we are) but some is rather annoying or found to be disgusting or barbaric, and so on. Funny example: we blow out our nose into a napkin if get cold. They suck it back, and sniffing. We think that their way is disgusting and ulhealthy - and they probably think the same about ours. :-) I live in a different country, I am white and they are white and when being in a bad mood often feel that here is the end of common stuff among us. (In fact I have more common with koreans according to their dramas in the field of taste, food, education, history, morals, etc, than here with locals.)
DeleteDear Korean,
ReplyDeleteIs there any special meanings if a young Korean guy (he's 21-21) accepts to take photos(which look so so formal in someways ㅠㅠ) with non-Kor girl while both wearing Hanbok? Note that he'd just had ONLY one date with her right in same day before he left for serving his military service. Thank u!
I just almost married a Korean man. My family stopped me, because his condition was I have to help support his family (parents, and 2 older sisters who does not want to work). I said I will do my best to help them but every person with arms & legs should support themselves. He picked up and left just like both of his father. His biological father left them, and his now father left his family to live off of them. We ended up having a very weird unclear relationship for 2 months. Then he finally came to pickup his stuff. He cried and said sorry. I asked him to stay but he still left. Now both all of my family are against Koreans... not only because of what happened but because they asked around... all Korean men depend on the women to work and when they're unhappy they just leave. I'm Chinese. I've dated many Korean men, and now I don't think it will ever happen again.
ReplyDeleteRight...if they are unhappy, had problem...they hide or leave..maybe even without a word
DeleteBY THE WAY WOMEN......... YOU WILL NEVER BE A KOREAN MAN'S #1 WOMAN!!! WHY??? BECAUSE THEIR #1 WOMAN IS THEIR MOM... #2 IS THEIR SISTER... YOU'RE LUCKY IF YOU CAN BE #3!!! NO LIES... I NO LONGER KNOW HOW TO BE THE 4TH MOST IMPORTANT WOMAN OF HIS LIFE... SO MY FAMILY FORCED ME TO LEAVE... AND STRANGELY ENOUGH I ASK ANOTHER KOREAN MAN SAME QUESTIONS WHO'S YOUR #1, AND WHO'S YOUR #2? GUESS WHAT THE ANSWER IS!!!
ReplyDeleteI am a Korean guy who lived whole life in Korea and I would like to let you know something that people really don't understand. Because many people in here don't understand why Korean boy's parents don't accept interracial marriage. First of all, the meaning of marriage in Korea is to meet between the two families. In fact, it is a important as Koreans to set a relationship of family before everything else. Actually it came from old Korean culture that Koreans are filial to their parents. Korean teachers educate their kids that filial piety is the source of all virtues. Parents teach you the way to live your life on how correctly and adaptability. Parents give everything for their children. It is a sad history but, once upon a time, when Korea was colonized by the Japan, Japanese soldiers dragged over 2,000,000 kids for sex slave and comfort women and parents fought to face them. And then almost parents were tortured and killed. It proves how their maternal love is strong. Anyway Koreans always keep their mind to repay parent's maternal love. Actually Korean parents wouldn't oppose interracial marriage. That is not because they are a racist. They want to treat you as same as their sons or daughters but they afraid of differences of culture and languages because it is not easy. But, today Korea's multicultural society is growing up and many parents accept interracial marriage. Many Interracial couples get accepted with overcome. Once, one of my friends's mother desperately oppose getting married to an African American girl. So he told his mom that he will keep it as a good memory with her spending his life and he will live with his parents in happiness without getting married. And the girl tried the best to help his mom when his mom was sick in hospital for a long period. Then his mom recognized how much he and she loves each other. Finally it turned his parents accepted his marriage. I am sure I could get opposed by your parents because I am Asian too. But I will do like chopping the wood with an ax more than 100 times to your parent's mind collapse~
ReplyDeleteI think rumors are always worse than reality.
DeleteI am in happy relationship with Korean man, who was born and spent his whole life in Korea. My family has never met an Asian person before they met him, and I still haven't had the chance to meet his parents unfortunately.
But we are happy, and that is all our parents and family cares about. Even his grandparents have no problem that I am not Korean, and not even Asian.
Sorry but do you really think that cultural difference does not affect the other party? I understand that it would be hard for the korean family but it would be hard to the other party as well.
DeleteSo the couple just should sacrifice their lives / possible happiness on the altar of family's interest? Rather than even with some reconciliation and good intention trying to accept each other? So K-dramas but never thought that reality is so near to that. Or I am a joke to talk about true feelings at all in this kind of international / interracial relationship because it is does not matter on the big picture and a partner from another race, country would be rather a kind of pet for a short time than the beloved one?
And forgive my honesty but to use japanese' doings - no matter how sorry I am about it - as explanation is a bit forced arguing to me. History is full with nations colonised by another nations, even my origin(al country) was quite the same like Korea, a small country in the middle of Europe, was always influenced and overtaken by other nations, starting from Ghengis Kan, later turks, later austrians and I do not think they were any way more gentle to our women and children than japanese to yours.
(One of the reason I like your historical dramas, corruption and weakness, suffering of people are so familiar, too.)
But I am happy to find this blog as it seems I start to understand a couple of things. On one hand I appreciate koreans (as I could see in dramas) being not so liberal (yet) as liberalism a two sided knife but on the other hand I can see the lack of good part of it eg. in your explanation, point of view.
hi! i am an indian i have light brown skin but i love korean and japanese ! but i think they doesn't like us cos we r brown skinned ! is it true that koreans don't like us?
ReplyDeleteok.
Deletehmm.
For some reason, Easter Asians such as chinese, Korean and Japanese tend to prefer pale skin to darker skin.
If you ask me why?, I have no idea but I can tell you that it's been like this for long time. If you see Korean,Chinese, and Japanese ladies cosmetic commericals, there are so many Korean, Chinese, and Japanese women try to paler as much as possible. It is social norm.
However, there is always exception like me. I prefer brown skin lady.
US influence? On one hand it can be feel how they despise them (through of their movies) on the other hand it seems they try to imitate them and become an european looking person. It is sad that not the good staff are followed. Eg. overrated beauty (most of people are not natural beauty so it can be really frustrating and money eating when they try to become someone they are just can't and become totaly artificial) and no reason, I mean every race has its own natural beauty in a way or another. And cosmetic consumption, designer stuffs, plastic surgery and of course more liberalism on the field which will ruin society sooner or later. Telling this with good intention as my country live through this earlier than yours, we could experience it in a whole... together with ruined and almost unreachable health-care or debt which will be debt generation after generation due to politics and weakness / blindness of people.
Delete"Remember that majority of Koreans are racists. That means that they despise people whose skins are darker than them."
ReplyDeleteI can't believe there are still dumbasses who think disliking dark skin is "racist"
how the fuck is that racist? there are several Koreans who have spent a lot of time in the sun and now look very tanned and the light skinned Koreans still make fun of them.
those pink skinned Caucasians spend half of their lives getting fake tans and calling white skin disgusting and nobody call them racist.
I hate those double standards ughh
you should change the name of this blog and call it "askapatheticwhitewashedkorean"
I met a guy recently who is cute, interesting, and - yes - Korean. He lives in Europe, speaks nigh-perfect German (this is Vienna) and although I'm interested in Korean culture to some extent, I wasn't planning on defining him by his country of birth. However, there is one puzzling factor that I really do think has to do with his being Korean, which is that he's very sparing in his messages to me after our second date. His replies are way late and telegram-style. Normally I'd infer that he is indeed not that into me, but the messages I get are sent after 10 p.m. and explain how he just got off work and is exhausted. Do Koreans really work such absurdly long hours that they can't even find the time to exchange a few texts? Maybe he really isn't that interested, after all. I was just wondering whether I should give up on him or not...
ReplyDelete(jajajaja), con todo respeto, me ha encantado, como has escrito esto. Me gusta mucho tu blog, y la información que pones, seguiré leyendo.
ReplyDeletePero es importante esto que haces ver, que muchas chicas idealisan al hombre por la TV. y me parece estupendo, que hagas todas las recomendaciones que haces.
Como dices tambien, muchas cosas dependen de la clase de persona que es uno y no porque tiene tal o cual nacionalidad.
¡Me encanta el Blog! Y me disculpo por no poder escribir en Koreano o ingles.
hello Mr./Mrs./Miss Korean,
ReplyDeletehonestly, i didn't read after first paragraph. it's really funny to see this "How do I attract Korean men?" question at the first line of popular questions. you wrote this entry almost 6 years ago. i have couple of friends from Korea. after this topic, i began to think about something like "all Korean men are super and only me have normal korean friends?" :)
Men will alwayss be men regardless of nationality..but wait, Korean guys are just..hmmm... Just don't be fooled by the kdramas/kpop fantasies. The reality is not that pretty, ahaha
ReplyDeleteWell i at first i have no intentions on putting my comments but i realized it is better for me ...i have some few things to shared and hope it will enlighten the people if like me collecting answers and sharing the views.
ReplyDelete1. I agree that men general is men regardless of nationalities . .. we often single out the worse if we have some negative experiences. Once they decided it is over --- it is over and they will stop talking to you.
2. It is better to be cleared and know what kind on a relationship you two both wanted. That way you will be able to have some insight where the relationships leads to..
3. Culture , languages are to important factors you have to know before entering any relationships " korean or otherwise" it has a great impact on how to deal with your relationship .. by knowing the culture and you understand each other things are more clearer and easier. But of course take it into consideration that nothing is permanent.
4. Learn the language fast :-) that ways this will not the reason why you broke -up and he will have difficulty to look for more deeper reason rather than because of the language barrier.
5. It is not because you wanted to be # 1 but because you have to know how important you are to him. Of course it is given that whoever he loves you will loved too.. learned or otherwise.
You can more insights for this;
1. Korean men- i have notice that they are more focused on " THE PRESENT - work- sleep - money (work) , or if in Korea - work - friends - home ... so confusing :-(
2. Korean men most likely reserve ' always not to show what they really feel" or it is because you are lead to believe that there is la feeling involve/
3. They do not care the previous/before or they want to cut the ties they will just cut and banished in a thin air.
Thanks for reading and hoping to have a constructive criticism.
My bf is so damn workaholic, so hard to express what they really feel. thats true, im used to always to see him from he started the day till finished the day 2 years ago. sometimes complained about his works n colleagues, even till present. we've evr broken up 2 years ago bcause those problems. n we just got back tgther a week ago with some compromises, on that day he called me, met me n my parents, said he was sorry about his busy time in the past, nvr said what he really feels, n made me frustating, damn curious about him why he often suddenly stopped in the mid cnvrsation. then he told me all the reasons why this n that a week ago. he really wanted to reach his dream. well, his dream came true already, he became a manager like his dad in less than 2 years, i asked him to change be open n keep communication, yes he was agree n said to me to be more patient bcause his new higher position, it means he'll be more busy). here we go, it is what it is. he becomes more busy than before. i'd say, so hard to trust him again, always said that to him, but he said, begged me to trust him, bcause he really wanted to maintain our relationship. i understand him more now. so ok, we commit.
ReplyDeletetalk about the future, we've evr talked about our future since 2 years ago. i still hve some problem. he still has one dream to build his own company. his parents allow him to date non Korean girls, but when it comes to marriage, they said to him to think about that more n more, but it doesnt mean his parents dont allow him to marry non Korean (he said). while my parents, specially my dad doesnt agree to marry foreigner, but mom always supports me, but she prefers me to hve Japanese husband, bcause many my friends marry Japanese n they hve a good life, happy family. yes right, actually our problem is about culture, language n religion as my 1st parents problem. we know that, if u married with someone, u married with his/her family too. but ppl think, adapt n change. my bf thinks the main problem comes from my parents.
im Southeast Asian, my skin is kinda light tan (medium), not contrast with his skin, almost the same. i've slim body, im only 162 cm, 42 kg. he's 180cm, dunno his weight, athletic enough. we speak english or sometimes my language. we nvr speak korean to each other. but i'll try to learn korean. he said i've good skin color, but 2 years ago he complained about my weight im too skinny, but now he said it's great to hve a gf that no worry about her weight n can eat much food but still slim. bcause korean girls are always worried about their weight. ok, mybe he was only to seduce me. my bf loves eat tasty food, much food, it means i'll eat much food too n mybe try to cook the tasty food for him. mostly korean girls/moms take a cookin lesson, so they can cook the tasty food for their families.
-part 2-
ReplyDeleteanyway, he's a low profile person, not kind of ppl that spend time on intrnet/online, browsin or chattin (like me, haha). he prefer plays some games or read some books n boys time. but i do know he chatted with random strangers online, just to hve fun. well, i dont care about that, i've my own friends, chat with them too. sometimes he gets jealous, even without my knowing he checked my phone (happened two years ago), now, he's too busy to think about that (but i know in the deep of his heart he's still worry about that haha).. bcause bfre getting back tgther, i've evr be closed with someone who is a business man, a director. when i talked about this, he seemed jealous but wont admit it. so i asked him if he was jealous, just tell me, n he kinda raised his voice n said that yes, he was jealous. n i told him that it means u love me. n he smiled n said undirectly to stop contact him. if i got jealous, i always express it directly in front of him. this is the funny one, he has evr talked in one's sleep, when we sleep about few hours, he woke me up when i slept beside him, he called my name, like angry sad expression. he said he dreamt about me. he has evr introduced me to his friends, n his bosses. last year he invited me to be his partner in christmas eve event, but i still had a bf n i refused his invitation (wrong time).
well, i dont try to push myself think about us, just let it flow. im still 24 y.o, n he's 26 y.o (not in korean age). we're still young. he works hard to reach his next dream, while i try to reach my own dream, fill me up. he allowed me to cntinue study Master's in States n he said he'll invite me. but i just found some of our mission are dffrent, i wanna be a career woman, while he wants me to be a housewife n raise our kids well, though he allowed me to take Master's, if married him, i should be a housewife. n i think it's not good for me, bcause i wanna earn my own money. i just prepare for our future kids, education, music lesson, investment, what if he got broke or the worst condition, many things. well, if he meant to me, it will be. if not, there are still tons of fish in the sea, mybe i'll look for another in States. meet Asian guy there or my ABC's ex there.
but thank to God, grateful, i hve a bf like him. i accept his bad n good side. remember, korean men arent the same like in KDrama/KPop. it's fake. im not a KDrama/Kpop fan anyway. ppl are dffrent, hve their own personality, attitude, it depends on them. In relationship one of us sometimes lyin, manipulate, etc. not only men, women also. we're only human. if ppl meant to be together, it will be.
Korean men want women that are like the equivalent of American stepford wives.
ReplyDeleteThey are attracted to women (of all colors) that act cute and have Ae-gyo. Preferably, she should be attractive. For example: Cute features - small nose, sharp jaw, big eyes - tall but skinny, knows how to wear fashionably (Asian fashion, not American fashion), and can stroke his male ego.
An attractive woman would also be one that can cook and make bento (lunch boxes) for him, home cooked dinner every night, and respects him as the alpha male of the house. Respect for him as a male that is. You are not equal to him, but should always respect him as a man. If you challenge him or dominate him, then you will be unattractive.
Think I mentioned this before, but the attractive woman is the one that has a great body. Definitely not fat, curvy, and a beautiful face. She should wear make up and keep her skin in supple condition. Wearing cutesy, sexy clothes like skirts with heels, curled hair, cute dresses, etc. is required.
Are you older than 30? Your attractiveness meter is going to be low, especially if you have fine lines and wrinkles. Are you divorced? Then you are not going to be attractive. Do you do drugs (cocaine, heroin, etc.) or have any sort of crime in your past? Then don't even try.
If you can do all of these, I can guarantee you that you will be attractive to a Korean man.
source: I'm Korean.
Oh my glob, I loved this article. It's 2014 now and I've just discovered k-dramas so Korean men are portrayed as pretty dang hot and irresistible. Or hilarious. They are like the next Edward Cullen. But I like The Korean's dose of reality. They are men. Most of the same rules apply.
ReplyDeleteMy neighbors of ten years are Korean and I have gotten to know them well over the years. With three grown boys in the family, I honestly can't agree with any of these generalizations of what Korean men want. My neighbors sons are all very bright, two are doctor's and the youngest is still in med school. One is married to a white woman, she is very average but is a wonderfully supportive housewife and mother. The second son is married to a Korean physician but she is not domestic, doesn't cook or clean and probably never made a bento box in her life. She is very outspoken and is clearly the head of the household. The third son recently got engaged to a gorgeous african american princess. She is a model and actress who has two college degrees, comes from a well off family with traditional southern baptist values. She loves her guy but insists on a modern relationship... None of that " i am man stuff". All three sons chose different types of women and the all seem happy. The parents are accepting of their choices and only want their sons to be happy. Our families are very close and we are looking forward to becoming one big happy family when our children marry next spring. Korean men likes are just as diverse as other men, there is no roadmap that can tell you how to win any man's heart. Love can break through all barriers; racial and cultural differences and ridiculous stereotypes!
ReplyDeleteThe thrid child just wants the "princeess" money
DeleteI'm a white woman dating a Korean man who was adopted as a baby and moved to the states. He has never been back to Korea. Does this give me a free pass from all the above stated hurdles that most interracial couples would experience during dating? Fingers crossed that he's not going to wake up one morning with the overwhelming desire to trade me in for a younger foreign version. Thoughts?!
ReplyDeleteYes!!
DeleteI know a Korean girl adopted as a baby to Caucasian parents in the US. She married a westernised Indian. I think adopted Koreans don't feel any of the Korean societal ties so don't discriminate who they marry. Strangely and sadly, her adoptive parents don't speak to her anymore because she married someone of "colour"... I know, right? WTF???!!!
Why do asian american men and asian american women have different mating habits?
ReplyDeleteIt's because asian-american women have high market value. As men like feminine women, asian women are desired by not only asian men but by white men, black men, Jewish men, Hispanic men, etc.
In contrast, asian-american men have the lowest market value. As women prefer masculine men, they look down on asian men with wimpy voices, short stature, and small dicks.
Now, why would asian-american women with high market value want to be associated with asian-american men with the lowest sexual market value? In Asia, as there are only asian men and asian women, asian men don't have to worry about competing with men of other races. But in America, asian women can choose superior men of other races over asian geeks. So, lots of asian women marry outside the race because they feel ashamed to be associated with loser asian men.
This is why lots of asian men go back to their countries to find mates. Back home, they don't have to compete with non-asian men. Also, their US citizenship is a trump card. They can tell an asian girl that if she marries him, he can take her to america and buy her a big house.
I think some asian girls feel some degree of repressed guilt for rejecting the men of their own race as lovers. Asian-american girls may choose to be friends or co-workers with asian-american men, but they sexually close themselves as lovers to asian-american men. So, they try to compensate for theit guilt by being extra-nice to their fathers. "Dad, I don't wanna marry someone like you, but here's a set of golf clubs."
In Korea, Hyundai is the standard car. But in the US, korean-americans can purchase superior cars. So, many don't buy hyundai that is seen as an inferior product. Likewise, korean-american women see korean-american men as inferior products and rebuff them.
This article explains the WHY.
http://www.isteve.com/islovecolorblind.htm
My wife is Korean. Here are so e cultural differences I noticed.
ReplyDelete1) Hugging is regarded differently and not performed as often. For i stance when I hugged my Korean nephew-in-law goobye he told me not to do that because he wasn't gay. When I first hugged my wife's mother goodbye she was surprised by the gesture but very much liked it. I have sort of made hugging common place in their family now.
2) Sharing and expressing your feelings is done less. Again I surprised my wife's mom when I ended the telephone conversation by saying, 'I love you'. Her mother very much appreciated the sentiment and now returns the favor. When I said it to my sister-in-law it was regarded with shock till Seolhee explained that Western siblings commonly express this sentiment to family when saying goodbye. Once understood Koreans very much appreciate the gesture.
3) Koreans can be very critical. A Western person's best friend might tell you you look good when you look shitty to make you feel better. In Korea a Korean's best friend will tell them the truth because they think that is the best way to help them. If they think you are fat they will tell you so. I generally agree with this method of brutal honesty but in certain cases where motivation is necessary it can back fire.
Just note that these are cultural things that each of you bring into the relationship. With a litle compromise on both parties parts you can find amiable solutions.
Hello. I have a personal question. Do all Korean men have dark colored privates? As in the pigmentation on their penis? Or is it just the ones I've dated... Just wondering thanks
ReplyDeleteI had a Korean-American boyfriend for 3 years in the 1980s. He always complained that I was fat, which I wasn't! I showed him pictures of Marilyn Monroe, who had the same body type as me. He said, "She's a pig." He would have preferred a skinny girl with no curves. His parents despised me because: I was older than him, I am a high school dropout, I am an atheist, I was poor and often homeless, I was estranged from my whole family, I worked low-paying jobs like cashier and data entry clerk, and, I am an American white woman not Korean. I worked hard to hold on to the relationship, but in the end he chose his family over me. Family, education, and career always came ahead of me, with him. It is amazing I was able to make the relationship last as long as it did, or that we even got together at all really.
ReplyDeleteThis is called "Ask a Korean" website but I don't think the writers were prepared for ignorance. Clearly, they should've expected certain comments to be repetitive, but they are showing impatience. Why make a website if you don't want your inbox flooded?
ReplyDeleteAttracting a korean man is easy all you gotta do is be white
ReplyDelete