tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post4097551686560201057..comments2024-03-18T07:07:53.346-04:00Comments on Ask a Korean!: Are Chinese Mothers Superior?T.K. (Ask a Korean!)http://www.blogger.com/profile/07663422474464557214noreply@blogger.comBlogger64125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-85962181330141547082011-01-19T23:31:10.110-05:002011-01-19T23:31:10.110-05:00Yes. The Korean was unimpressed. David Brooks is b...Yes. The Korean was unimpressed. David Brooks is better than that.T.K. (Ask a Korean!)https://www.blogger.com/profile/07663422474464557214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-22722355186490602422011-01-18T21:18:22.029-05:002011-01-18T21:18:22.029-05:00Have you read the "Amy Chua Is a Wimp" r...Have you read the "Amy Chua Is a Wimp" rebuke?<br /><br />http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/18/opinion/18brooks.html?_r=1Karenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02012619655882366635noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-64578214795313558302011-01-18T03:47:26.521-05:002011-01-18T03:47:26.521-05:00Relevant rage comic :
http://i.imgur.com/1aYih.png...Relevant rage comic :<br />http://i.imgur.com/1aYih.pngtelloshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04189588012484710885noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-75933270467416800472011-01-15T22:14:48.292-05:002011-01-15T22:14:48.292-05:00Henrique, agreed.
baekgom,
In Korea or other Asi...Henrique, agreed.<br /><br />baekgom,<br /><br /><b>In Korea or other Asian countries, EVERYONE is working their little butts off, and they are often graded directly against each other, so for every kid that's top of the class there's a good 39 others who have to go home and tell their parents that they failed, regardless of how well they did otherwise.</b><br /><br />Here is something that never comes into parenting discussion (at least in America) -- what is good for the country. As a country, isn't it better to have a population that will give their all and make themselves better?T.K. (Ask a Korean!)https://www.blogger.com/profile/07663422474464557214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-72044424210268556232011-01-15T22:06:25.752-05:002011-01-15T22:06:25.752-05:00eirein,
I think The Korean takes it for granted t...eirein,<br /><br /><b>I think The Korean takes it for granted that parents will give warmth and love to their children as well as authority.</b><br /><br />Fair point. But the Korean cannot understand why other people think Asian parents <i>won't</i> give warmth and love. What kind of monster do they think our parents are? Geez.<br /><br />Matt,<br /><br /><b>Suppose two kids both love anthropology but one pursues it and one doesn't. Maybe Kid #1's passion for anthropology was as great as Kid #2's but Kid #1 was pushed harder in a different direction.</b><br /><br />But there is an upper limit as to how far a parent will push against anthro. They might nag and yell and scream, but it is not like they will tie their children to a chair and torture them. (They might threaten to disown, but the Korean has never seen anyone following through with the threat.)<br /><br />At the end of the day, if a child really <i>really</i> wants something, there is no parent -- not even Tiger Moms -- who will stand in the way. There is even a Korean proverb that says 자식 이기는 부모 없다 -- "There is no parent who prevails over the child."<br /><br />itissaid,<br /><br /><b>The failure of Chua's model is that it does not teach children that learning CAN be (does not have to be) fun and joyful.</b><br /><br />Actually, Prof. Chua describes how her daughter ended up loving to play the difficult music piece.T.K. (Ask a Korean!)https://www.blogger.com/profile/07663422474464557214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-88045836948362306012011-01-14T20:31:30.792-05:002011-01-14T20:31:30.792-05:00Related to the topic at hand:
http://articles.lat...Related to the topic at hand:<br /><br />http://articles.latimes.com/2011/jan/13/world/la-fg-china-education-20110113bjrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11444220500908788154noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-46200576396373701552011-01-14T14:03:49.644-05:002011-01-14T14:03:49.644-05:00An approach very similar to Prof. Chua's was t...An approach very similar to Prof. Chua's was taken by László Polgár to bring up three chess champion daughters. Here is the rather brief Wikipedia article about him:<br /><br />http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L%C3%A1szl%C3%B3_Polg%C3%A1r<br /><br />His theory was that "geniuses are made, not born". Accordingly, he homeschooled his daughters, brought them up very strictly, training them from a very early age to become champions. When someone commented that his daughters were not even allowed to play with dolls, he answered "chess pieces were their dolls". His method was severely criticized and called inhumane by many, but today Judit Polgár "is by far the strongest female chess player in history", also according to Wikipedia, and his other two daughters are grandmasters as well.laopanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14763916535451023880noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-57121492141528728842011-01-14T12:32:41.063-05:002011-01-14T12:32:41.063-05:00Well said, baekgom84. In addition, if a parent is...Well said, baekgom84. In addition, if a parent is their child's coach, there are various assistant coaches -- school teachers, music instructors, tutors -- who usually have expertise the parent usually lacks. A good coach consults the assistant coaches about player problems.<br /><br />With regard to career paths like Dr Kim's, keep in mind the time cost of retooling. It's fine to have a "safe" degree (MD/engineering/JD/DDS) to fall back on, but that means spending a much larger portion of one's youth getting going.<br /><br />About Asian-American children who are critical of the Tiger Mom style of parenting, I wonder if something similar goes on in other groups with great histories of immigrant success.bjrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11444220500908788154noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-25004990876062971672011-01-14T00:40:30.591-05:002011-01-14T00:40:30.591-05:00Looks like I got beaten to the point by Henrique. ...Looks like I got beaten to the point by Henrique. :Pbaekgom84https://www.blogger.com/profile/10946430337992708995noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-90271350473973721592011-01-14T00:35:48.870-05:002011-01-14T00:35:48.870-05:00When a soccer coach gets a job at a new club and h...When a soccer coach gets a job at a new club and has a bunch of players to work with that he had no part in signing, the dilemma becomes thus: does he drill the players and shuffle them around to suit his style of play? Or does he re-think his own tactics to best complement the players he already has?<br /><br />I bring this up because I think parenting isn't too dissimilar. Mrs. Chua, at least in the article, seems to believe in a 'one-size-fits-all' parenting model; i.e. she must not waver or compromise with her children, because ultimately her method is the correct one and will serve her children well. This is also true of parents who believe that the best method of parenting is gently coaxing them towards positive outcomes, and avoiding actions or language that might somehow damage their child's self-esteem.<br /><br />But while either of these approaches to parenting could easily breed successful children, I also think parenting ought to take into account the personality of the individual child. I'm one of three siblings and we have very distinct personalities, strengths and weaknesses (as I'm sure many siblings do.) My brother is very intelligent and has a quiet social life but can be very lazy and prone to procrastination - my parents encouraged him to spend time with friends but pushed him hard when it came to study. My sister has a good work ethic but loves to party a bit too much - again, my parents weren't too bothered if she got less-than-spectacular grades (because they knew she was putting the work in at least) but kept a careful eye on her social activities. They weren't perfect parents, but I think that each of us is at a good place in our lives, which we might not otherwise have been able to reach.<br /><br />Generally I think it is better for parents to be too involved with their kids rather than not involved enough, and I don't even have a problem with parents using harsh language or - heaven forbid - the occasional light smack, if it is warranted. But I think the problem with Mrs. Chua's approach is that it could be detrimental to a child with low self-esteem or learning issues. In Western countries, those who put in the work are almost guaranteed to succeed, because they can coast over the top of most kids who are happy enough to just cruise along. In Korea or other Asian countries, EVERYONE is working their little butts off, and they are often graded directly against each other, so for every kid that's top of the class there's a good 39 others who have to go home and tell their parents that they failed, regardless of how well they did otherwise.<br /><br />Giving a kid a good foot up the bum can sometimes be the best motivation for slackers, but for the kid who has already given it everything he or she has, I doubt they could experience anything more painful. This is when kids can think about suicide, because they start to believe that their life has no worth.baekgom84https://www.blogger.com/profile/10946430337992708995noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-44939484826466132012011-01-14T00:28:07.301-05:002011-01-14T00:28:07.301-05:00The Korean is right. My use of the word "smar...The Korean is right. My use of the word "smart" is not appropriate here. Maybe it seems like concepts of "learning disabilities" (at lower levels) or different learning capabilities are seen as irrelevant. Haven't you ever met a person who, no matter how hard they try, they just can't learn something fully? I'm not saying we should try to identify those kids and be easier on them before they try, because you're right, we have to believe that overcoming obstacles is possible. But parents should be sensitive to this. My friend had serious learning problems in certain areas, but for being the oldest son he had no excuse: he had to be number 1.<br /><br />Asian-style parenting is good to get the most of children's capabilities, but sensitiveness to know the intensity and the direction to push them varies from parent to parent. The reason why I insist in using the word "cruel" is because the education system in Korea insists in equally comparing unequals, considering only grades. In my level 1 Korean classes, for example, there were Westerners and Chinese students, and the teacher always highlighted how much faster the Chinese learned the vocabulary, and even ranked students: "you're number 1, but you're number 15". Although this is a case of different language backgrounds (not learning disability) I could understand why my Korean friends worried so much about rankings.<br /><br />In a classroom of 30 students, all of them are supposed to be "number 1", and my friend, first son, whose parents are as strict as Prof. Chua, was never number 1, not even among the 10 first (despite his 14 hours of daily study), and had to hear he was a shame in his family. Is that really the best way to make a child successful?Henrique Teixeirahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09349366204503448572noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-49264622444396698772011-01-13T22:17:15.976-05:002011-01-13T22:17:15.976-05:00Maybe I might put it like this, I don't really...Maybe I might put it like this, I don't really believe that there is one sole dream for a person. If one is not realized, another maybe there. Just like I really don't think there any person is dystany dictates there is only one true person that a person is meant to marry. Perhaps one can believe that, I don't really have problem with that if a person is married to said person. If one is a person mature and ready for marriage there is a number of people in which it'd work, and each different.<br /><br />I may put it down to this, if parents push a kid general more in one field, and the kid eventually says this is what I want to do. Parents may push back, due to the other fields ability to bring more security or even bias. If the kid pushes back, it might be a good flag to turn a red light to a green light and say go for it. <br /><br />Regarding the dream life focus, perhaps I would say, one really shouldn't be too worried about finding it or not. You will end up paralyzed. If you do think you find it follow it. Don't forget we are in the US, you can plan ahead and change careers.J Manhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09314047527763656528noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-31397237151568936662011-01-13T20:53:23.054-05:002011-01-13T20:53:23.054-05:00You can push your kids to do their best without sc...You can push your kids to do their best without scarring them emotionally. Ms. Hua feels that as long as you get results, any means is justified. I know that there are wiser parents out there who will know how to motivate their kids in a way that is healthy without the unnecessary emotional damage. Actually, there is a book by a pair of Korean American sisters that relates to this topic called "Top of The Class". It's a Korean American perspective on raising kids to do well. But it seems that their parents were more healthy in the way they encouraged their kids to study. By showing them the joy of learning. It was a way that the family bonded.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-46946564379350428642011-01-13T20:48:32.136-05:002011-01-13T20:48:32.136-05:00What I take issue with is the idea that children h...What I take issue with is the idea that children have to be so harshly pushed in order to have any motivation to study. Smart parents will not blindly push their children, but get to know them and understand their strengths and weaknesses, their interests and motivations and respond appropriately. <br /><br />What I dislike about Ms. Hua's style of parenting is that there is no unconditional love. I agree with a previous commenter that many children are motivated out of fear to study hard and get good grades. <br /><br />Fear is a VERY powerful motivator, but a damaging one as well. I think you can raise kids to see the value of learning and that can be an intrinsic motivator for their success. The failure of Chua's model is that it does not teach children that learning CAN be (does not have to be) fun and joyful. That there is an intrinsic reward to doing your best and reaching your goals, not because mother is screaming at you, but because they are inherently satisfying to the individual child. Many kids who have been raised in such a harsh manner are not exposed to this natural joy in learning and so when they get to college, it may be harder to foster a sense of enthusiasm about the material itself.<br /><br />Many times parents push not out of a desire for their children's future, but out of an egotistical need to impress others in their community. Having high achieving children is a status marker in the Asian community. And many parents base their self-esteem on how well their children do as they feel like it's a reflection on them, their own self-worth.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-86523810092857934352011-01-13T20:06:20.100-05:002011-01-13T20:06:20.100-05:00@TheKorean
It's circular because you're s...@TheKorean<br /><br />It's circular because you're saying if you don't, say, go get your Phd in anthropology in spite of your parents pushing you into law school, then that means your passion for anthropology wasn't real. That way it can never be the parents' fault that a dream got suppressed because the very fact that the kid failed to pursue said dream must mean it wasn't real. Well, not necessarily. Suppose two kids both love anthropology but one pursues it and one doesn't. Maybe Kid #1's passion for anthropology was as great as Kid #2's but Kid #1 was pushed harder in a different direction.<br /><br />Also, re parents not always knowing what's best for their kids. They may push their kids in the wrong direction or too hard, or they may want to make their kids great students but simply not know how to go about it because they were never great students themselves. Not everyone is part of the educated elite like Amy Chua. Suppose you lock up your kids 4 hours a day to make them study something you have no interest in or knowledge of yourself? Kids aren't stupid and they pick up their parents' values. They'll know if the parent doesn't actually value knowledge. So I'm saying parents need to be aware of what their own limitations are before they embrace wholeheartedly this idea that pushing your children to study can never be bad.Matthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17226758157157715512noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-62802240795322675732011-01-13T19:34:43.448-05:002011-01-13T19:34:43.448-05:00I think at the end of the day, we could probably a...I think at the end of the day, we could probably all agree that some amount of discipline and force is required with parenting, as is supporting your children. <br /><br />If you only have control and force without warmth and love you've basically got an abusive situation; I think The Korean takes it for granted that parents will give warmth and love to their children as well as authority. (And by warmth and love I mean caring if they're wearing enough thermal underwear and if they're eating enough, not telling kids that they're loved every day or whatever.)<br /><br />I also think that Western parents might do well to remember that far more Asian parents pay for their children's college tuition, would gladly cook and clean after their children until they're married and let them live rent-free in their houses, economics permitting.eireinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06048444072189280468noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-88191711274060229992011-01-13T18:35:44.475-05:002011-01-13T18:35:44.475-05:00The Korean is actually in favor of "balance&q...The Korean is actually in favor of "balance" also, but in this sense: The Korean thinks it should be 3/4 parts "Asian" style, and 1/4 part "Western" style.<br /><br />For those who abandoned music, well, they still developed an appreciation for a very important part of Western cultural identity, and also learned to work hard for something.T.K. (Ask a Korean!)https://www.blogger.com/profile/07663422474464557214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-84342915456339292432011-01-13T18:27:29.644-05:002011-01-13T18:27:29.644-05:00I don't think it's fair to refer to less s...I don't think it's fair to refer to less strict style as "liberal" parenting. It's just a different style. Obama's mother was very liberal, and she woke him up before school every morning for extra lessons.<br /><br />And again I think it's about balance. As a parent I hope to be demanding because I think you only get the best of people when you demand it. So working hard at your school work yes. I won't force them to play an instrument when they're young on the chance that they <i>might</i> love it in ten years after finding it to be a daily two hours of torture. <br /><br />But on the other hand if they're interested in something else, like boxing or dancing, I'll make sure they never slack on it and give up because they're lazy.<br /><br />The Korean you mentioned that there's a reason that half of Julliard is Asian. But what about the thousands more who never developed that love and simply abandoned it as soon as they could? I don't think that's fair to them. But hey, life isn't fair.Hasanihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06040709951053187711noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-11153753193737541752011-01-13T17:46:47.511-05:002011-01-13T17:46:47.511-05:00The music part is particularly interesting, not in...The music part is particularly interesting, not in the least because the Korean is married to a classical musician. (Actually, Prof. Chua's daughter's teacher is the Korean Wife's old teacher at Juilliard.) And often, people insultingly assume that the Korean Wife is this soulless machine that cranks out mechanical music without enjoying it.<br /><br />She is anything but. She would not be a professional musician otherwise. The Korean Mother-in-Law, by all accounts, was far more of a Tiger Mom than the Korean Mother ever was. (And that's SAYING something.) But the KMIL actually wanted the Korean Wife to quit violin as she entered college, because she was afraid that KW would not make a living. KW had to secretly apply for Juilliard, and was allowed to attend only because she promised to attend Columbia Univ. at the same time. (Where she met the Korean.) KW now has a B.A. in Econ from Columbia that she will never use for the rest of her life. So she ended up following her true passion.<br /><br />Now, here is the point: did KW love playing violin for every single moment since she was 5, when she first picked up a violin? Heck no. In fact, she talks about how much she wanted to quit, was beaten for playing poorly and complaining, and HATED vioin all the way until high school. But now she is a professional who practices violin 3 hours a day and then plays for another 2 hours. For TEN years she hated violin but was not allowed to quit. And then she developed a love for music that runs deeper than anyone who did not have her experience.<br /><br />It is not a coincidence that half of Juilliard is Asian. Playing an instrument well is incredibly hard. One cannot achieve that kind of level unless one is absolutely, constantly dedicated to it for a very long time. And <i>then</i> you had better love playing on top of that. You can't make it to Juilliard if you don't love playing. The Korean met a ton of musicians through his wife, and every last one of them -- Asian or not -- loves playing.<br /><br />It is also not a coincidence that KW is even more of a fan of Tiger Mom parenting than the Korean is, if you could believe that. At this rate, we will probably have to move to a state with a lax child protection laws to raise the Korean Child the way we want.T.K. (Ask a Korean!)https://www.blogger.com/profile/07663422474464557214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-9051254781869023072011-01-13T17:15:51.095-05:002011-01-13T17:15:51.095-05:00mikelaza, the link does not seem to work.
Ztrader...mikelaza, the link does not seem to work.<br /><br />ZtraderX, that is also a good point. Once upon a time, "Asian parenting" was really "American parenting". There are still pockets of American parents who understand what it takes -- but their numbers are dwindling rapidly.<br /><br />Matt,<br /><br /><b>Suppose you, the parent, with the best of intentions, don't know what's best?</b><br /><br />The Korean would be hard-pressed to find a situation in which working hard and not quitting are not the best attitude of dealing with something.<br /><br /><b>that's circular: a passion that's suppressed becomes ipso facto a not-genuine passion.</b><br /><br />Not so -- Dr. Kim speaks of getting a Ph.D. in anthropology on top of his medical degree, then going so far as doing ethnographical field work before committing to become a doctor. For an opposite example, comedian Ken Jeong (of the Hangover fame) used to be a doctor, then decided that what he really wanted to do was comedy. The list of Korean celebrities who graduated from SNU is substantial (including several superstars like Kim Tae-Hee,) although one (AND one's parents) nearly have to push onself to the brink to get into SNU.T.K. (Ask a Korean!)https://www.blogger.com/profile/07663422474464557214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-55076966836374755412011-01-13T14:28:06.184-05:002011-01-13T14:28:06.184-05:00TK: Just a minor trivia...
According to Wikipedia...TK: Just a minor trivia...<br /><br />According to Wikipedia:<br /><br />Amy Chua's parents were academics and members of the Chinese ethnic minority in the Philippines before emigrating to the United States. Amy's father, Leon O. Chua, is an Electrical Engineering and Computer Sciences professor at the University of California, Berkeley and is known as the father of nonlinear circuit theory and cellular neural networks. Amy was born in 1962 in Champaign, Illinois and lived in West Lafayette, Indiana. When she was eight years old, her family moved to Berkeley, California. Chua graduated magna cum laude with an A.B. in Economics from Harvard College in 1984. She obtained her J.D. cum laude in 1987 from Harvard Law School, where she was an Executive Editor of the Harvard Law Review.The Filipinohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06411009013482740401noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-70615248932326238592011-01-13T14:20:51.866-05:002011-01-13T14:20:51.866-05:00http://blog.angryasianman.com/2011/01/tiger-mother...http://blog.angryasianman.com/2011/01/tiger-mother-speaks.html<br /><br />So it turns out the author is not actually an advocate of the parenting model described in her article in the WSJ.<br /><br />",,,that the person at beginning of the book is different from the person at the end -- that I get my comeuppance and retreat from this very strict Chinese parenting model."Jimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02147242353650746675noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-2880374074000263832011-01-13T14:18:56.454-05:002011-01-13T14:18:56.454-05:00As an Asian (Korean) with a "tiger" mom,...As an Asian (Korean) with a "tiger" mom, I was subjected to the same treatment. I have high self confidence and am a high achiever. My mom was not as strict as this one is, but I don't feel that I didn't have love or that my mom did all that she could for us. <br /><br />The fact that many that are subject to this type of parenting is that the feeling is that all the Tiger Mom is about control and that there is no love. It is not. My mother would have done anything for me to thrive and succeed and has given up alot to do so. Yes, she could be strict, but the values that's she instilled in me have made me the confident, successful person that I am. <br /><br />As for the author, the point of her book is misinterpreted. It is not a manual nor does it say that this is the way people should parent. It provides funny perspective into how many traditional Asian families (including our South Asians friends as well) grew up.<br /><br />I find the book to be very nostalgic and relevant to my upbringing. I do not parent this way, but I also refuse to be a helicopter parent as well. I do not try to be my kid's best friend. I am the authority in the household and the one that will guide my kid to a good life, but I am definitely one to allow him what most American kids experience.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10186115374482462114noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-92056625334554193042011-01-13T09:00:03.944-05:002011-01-13T09:00:03.944-05:00'it will never enjoy the fruits of all these s...'it will never enjoy the fruits of all these sacrifices' should read 'it will not be capable of enjoying the fruits of all these sacrifices'.Matthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17226758157157715512noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-77722113168564033652011-01-13T08:57:18.150-05:002011-01-13T08:57:18.150-05:00Que263 said almost exactly what I wanted to say to...Que263 said almost exactly what I wanted to say too: that I wish my parents had pushed me to achieve more when I was a kid. Not that I'm ungrateful for what was a terrific childhood with many educational opportunities and experiences, and not that I blame them either - as JK Rowling said, there is an expiry date on blaming your parents for your failings in life. But a bit of imposed discipline back then would have paid off for me later.<br /><br />On the other hand, there is something in Chua's article that I find a bit creepy. It's that there seems to be an underlying ideological premise that children are the parents' property, and therefore parents have an absolute right to do with them as they wish. Mould them into what you, the parent, have decided (in your wisdom) is the most desirable mould regardless not only of what they want but of what and who they are. Suppose you, the parent, with the best of intentions, don't know what's best? Or suppose you have 3 kids and push them all down the identical path, setting up a zero-sum competition between them? The Korean says if the child has a genuine passion it will manifest itself regardless of parental pressure, but that's circular: a passion that's suppressed becomes ipso facto a not-genuine passion. Parents like Chua need a little humility to realise that they are not gods; and that the narrowness of competing for grades solely imparts a lesson of a less salubrious kind, while diminishing time spent learning other things. Taken too far, you may starve the child of liberty so much that it will never enjoy the fruits of all these sacrifices.<br /><br />Reading the article, I also wonder how much of the child's joy at learning the difficult piano piece was due to sense of achievement, and how much was due to having gained her mother's praise and affection. Every lesson acquires a dreadful sameness, because every lesson becomes a performance to please the parent. Love of the subject for its own sake is lost. I believe this is how it can happen that a child acquire concert-pianist level technical skill, yet be unable to express emotion in music. And if that happens, what is it all for?<br /><br />No one can deny that it's good to have discipline, to have parents who push you to achieve all you can academically, and to acquire a professional skill or qualification. I just agree with everyone else who's said there must be balance. Taken too far, this 'superior Chinese-style parenting' can be a nightmare.Matthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17226758157157715512noreply@blogger.com