tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post2271876116601386865..comments2024-03-26T03:31:06.199-04:00Comments on Ask a Korean!: A Retrospective on Identity: State of a Gyopo at Age 30T.K. (Ask a Korean!)http://www.blogger.com/profile/07663422474464557214noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-67487185596257225202017-02-09T02:36:10.867-05:002017-02-09T02:36:10.867-05:00I loved reading this. Congrats on the grand 30. I loved reading this. Congrats on the grand 30. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14913033491946048326noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-64605976990698991542014-04-28T05:21:22.255-04:002014-04-28T05:21:22.255-04:00Really great post. This and another post you made ...Really great post. This and another post you made enlightened me to what I think may have been a factor in what I perceived to be a polarizing split in my identity - when we project on ourselves what we think a culture is like, as opposed to how it really is. I plan to chew it over more thoroughly later tonight, when I have time, because I honestly never thought about it that way. I was surprised as to how much I identified, given that my situation is slightly different than yours: I moved to America with my parents at age 3 and mastered English at a native level fairly quickly, although retaining much of my Korean identity until I stopped Korean school entirely, which was about 3rd or 4th grade. I then moved back at 13 or 14 and have lived here since. I never quite felt as if I belonged, due to an extremely negative prolonged experience when I first arrived, and rejected all aspects of Korean culture like the plague. I was so fixated on what I considered to be a split in personality that prevented me from interacting fully with other Koreans that it actually became a self fulfilling prophecy, and it was only after I convinced myself to let it go that I began iron out the discrepancy in my "Korean personality" and my "American" one and finally settle into being Korean American.<br />I'm not sure if this is really expressed all that clearly, I'm still in the middle of working it out. I kind of turned this post into a sounding board, sorry. <br />TL; DR, fantastic post and has given me food for thought. And now I'm systematically combing through your archives.applejackedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03825151787051226598noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-50846498162573483552013-03-18T19:44:23.109-04:002013-03-18T19:44:23.109-04:00Hi, I ran into this post today and realized it'...Hi, I ran into this post today and realized it's your birthday! I am a regular reader of your blog, and I thought this could be a good reason to write something to thank you for your posts, and of course wish you a Happy Birthday =D Nato Cortéshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16092923867321033324noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-48591903994270378002011-12-19T05:16:47.538-05:002011-12-19T05:16:47.538-05:00I'm not sure we "whites" don't n...I'm not sure we "whites" don't need to go through all this stuff....<br />Personaly I think that's rather personal than cultural. A human reflects about their life every 10 years.<br /><br />around 10, you start puberty, which is famous for asking yourself questions like "Why do I exist?" and "What should I do in the future?". Then, on your way to reach 20, you pass through the most radical and the fastest changes in your life, that's the time when you're really starting to be yourself and choose your own way.<br />However, once you turn 20 you realise how much you have changed and you realise you're still not complete and still pretty much a kid.<br /><br />I am merely 22, so I can't speak about 30 from personal experience, but it is surely a year when you expect to be settled, as you mentioned, when you should get a stable life and stop that childish personality dilemma. It's the age when you're not a kid anymore, but not old at all either. (The age when I start getting wrinkles TT_TT *lol*)<br />But I can see two of my sisters. One is almost 30 and another one is a little bit over 30. My boyfriend is getting 30 too by new year, by the Korean age counting system. And I got some friends in their 30s and I can compare them all and see how they don't seem that far from me anymore. I mean, it was just as if it was yesterday when I was thinking about 20 as the perfect age and 30 as very old, but now that I actually reached 20 I realise how close this time is for me, but I don't feel like I'm ready yet. And I don't see the over 30 people as so old, but even as collegues sometimes. And all the people I know (and I know people from many places around the world) lead different lives. Some are settled, some still hang out to bars, parties and get drunk, while some others have a family already. And some didn't even finish university. And some did, but can't find a job. And some are already divorced. All of these different 30aged people, no matter their culture, they all think about it well. Maybe the pressure is not as big as in Korea, but still it doesn't change that much, it seems.<br /><br />Anyway, my boyfriend is reaching 30. "I'm getting 30", he said. And then I told him "Don't worry, honey, for me you're still 28."<br /><br />Silly and useless joke, but I didn't know what else should I say....Dac X Leehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15293064862842657519noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-76347360417284679732011-10-25T00:38:05.328-04:002011-10-25T00:38:05.328-04:00*Applause**Applause*James Kimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15296678063581368721noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-52329613554708420722011-05-12T09:06:07.725-04:002011-05-12T09:06:07.725-04:00Truly awsome post. I am a korean adoptee who is hi...Truly awsome post. I am a korean adoptee who is hitting the big 30 this year. I can relate to the things you wrote, even if I was brought up in Sweden. These days I am living in Korea and came to those similar terms that being swedish or korean is merely adjectives as being strong or intelligent, which all depends on what you are compared with. <br /><br />I think we all have a purpose in our lives and those who live in two worlds are given a special purpose, so thats why our life is harder.Janhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09227896758631542974noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-91507609954152575562011-03-23T14:50:07.923-04:002011-03-23T14:50:07.923-04:00Wow, this is such a great post! I'm an America...Wow, this is such a great post! I'm an American born child of West Indian immigrants and so much of what you say here resonates with me. Thanks for sharing, and Happy Belated Birthday!Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16737391446699571455noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-9792863714509723132011-03-22T16:36:21.449-04:002011-03-22T16:36:21.449-04:00Thanks for sharing your story! I am one of the rar...Thanks for sharing your story! I am one of the rare cases where I didn't go through much identity crisis even as a 1.5er. I think I must have compartmentalized my "Korean" persona from my "American" persona, if that even makes sense. But I'm afraid it means it'll hit by future kids that much harder. <br /><br />Happy belated birthday! And as others have said before me, keep up the great blog!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-18254736773872084362011-03-21T06:28:09.852-04:002011-03-21T06:28:09.852-04:00A great post!
Many happy returns of the day and w...A great post!<br /><br />Many happy returns of the day and wish you the very best.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-11909045369704514292011-03-21T01:06:00.285-04:002011-03-21T01:06:00.285-04:00Thanks for the great posting. I moved to the U.S w...Thanks for the great posting. I moved to the U.S when I turned 30. havn't been able to beat this identity thing yet. seems kind of easier cuz I am already a grown up, however, for me crazily enough hard time to figure out what to do about that question. wisely answered in your posting here, learned from ya, young man! Thanks again, and please, keep it up!blankhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11173602536808380053noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-4535009992153040412011-03-20T16:16:41.675-04:002011-03-20T16:16:41.675-04:00Happy birthday!Happy birthday!Mr. Kimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04547260830631580730noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-7739983865704829812011-03-20T15:15:21.938-04:002011-03-20T15:15:21.938-04:00Wow personal post. Happy Birthday!
I can relate, ...Wow personal post. Happy Birthday!<br /><br />I can relate, although I'm still young, I was born in the Caribbean, but most of my early childhood was spent in America.Hasanihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06040709951053187711noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-67755314393678257742011-03-20T09:00:28.109-04:002011-03-20T09:00:28.109-04:00you should post something in iamkoreanamerican.com...you should post something in iamkoreanamerican.com. And all your KA readers too!<br /><br />Reading how you felt in highschool brought back memories! It was the same thing for me! except in America. ha ha. <br /><br />I'm a little depressed about the whole 30 thing and what you said Confucius said..... since at 30, I did a complete lifestyle and career change and my Korean parents are probably on the brink of disowning me. But maybe it's because I am secure in my identity that I was able to make the leap?<br /><br />Keep up the great blog!Lindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05462364369925504765noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-26675994587907113152011-03-20T06:47:57.808-04:002011-03-20T06:47:57.808-04:00Dear Korean,
Happy belated birthday.
Being twice ...Dear Korean,<br /><br />Happy belated birthday.<br />Being twice as old as you; I may the oldest of those reading your blog. And believe me years go by quickly so use the time well and spend a lot of time together with your family. In the end people is what matters; not things.<br /><br />Ida<br />in Sweden.Idahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03215955789402689332noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-43829279153405233812011-03-20T05:04:15.918-04:002011-03-20T05:04:15.918-04:00happy belated birthday.happy belated birthday.thwanyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05690167352588554316noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-36794943950647457722011-03-20T03:19:38.876-04:002011-03-20T03:19:38.876-04:00Nice to have you with us in our 30's. Our path...Nice to have you with us in our 30's. Our paths might not have been the same, but our struggles and resolutions to those struggles were similar. Thanks for sharing. 생일축아합니다.refresh_daemonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04484357767562950745noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-3163664442861087562011-03-20T01:33:34.350-04:002011-03-20T01:33:34.350-04:00Beautifully written. I'm in my mid-twenties, ...Beautifully written. I'm in my mid-twenties, and I'm one of those gyopos who haven't quite figured out this whole identity thing. I'm not miserable, by any means, but I am very conscious of the void, and I would prefer that it not be there. I found this blog a couple years ago, when I felt my Korean side fading away for a number of reasons, and your writing has helped that part me feel a little more present. So thank you for that and congrats on your birthday!JacLhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06881260567703817773noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-75534423420443633312011-03-19T20:45:04.417-04:002011-03-19T20:45:04.417-04:00Happy birthday! So would you be consider an ahjuss...Happy birthday! So would you be consider an ahjussi now?tweetythuyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04003708641860725210noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-69822909897535719942011-03-19T18:51:07.487-04:002011-03-19T18:51:07.487-04:00I'm following you into 30 on Wednesday. Thank...I'm following you into 30 on Wednesday. Thank you for this post. It's making me think about a lot of things.Dianahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03708273691893291730noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-31778235179122550802011-03-19T16:17:29.817-04:002011-03-19T16:17:29.817-04:00Happy belated birthday, Korean!
I'm a longtim...Happy belated birthday, Korean!<br /><br />I'm a longtime reader of your blog, but this is the first comment I've posted. I may only be 18, but I understand this post completely. Thank you so much for posting this.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-23371857807683234382011-03-19T10:39:26.279-04:002011-03-19T10:39:26.279-04:00Great song and post, got me reflective.
I am past...Great song and post, got me reflective.<br /><br />I am past 30 and still have issues with "establishing" myself. Either I am late bloomer or have not learnt Confucius well. <br /><br />I think my identity evolves over time, sometimes I have to rethink who I am, or who I thought I am, especially when a new situation calls for a response I am not familiar with. <br /><br />Many happy returns, TK. 30 is something, hope to see you again at 50 and 80.J.https://www.blogger.com/profile/03674520267695656817noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-51786855903749466382011-03-19T09:15:23.919-04:002011-03-19T09:15:23.919-04:00Happy Birthday! But a case of sparkling water a w...Happy Birthday! But a case of sparkling water a week?? You should buy a soda stream-- we had one when we lived in the states, they're amazing. <br /> http://www.sodastream.com/Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-31508427449669047242011-03-19T08:42:13.729-04:002011-03-19T08:42:13.729-04:00Dear Korean happy birthday!
I'm a regular Eur...Dear Korean happy birthday! <br />I'm a regular European citizen, however I always come to your blog because I enjoy your style of writing, your honesty in sharing your stories and opinions and I always find helpful and intelligent insight on many differents topics. Not to mention the humor you manage to put in your posts^^ Thank you!Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03126884547613820509noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-27940332503530698062011-03-19T07:53:00.348-04:002011-03-19T07:53:00.348-04:00I must first start off by saying Happy Birthday! ...I must first start off by saying Happy Birthday! <br /><br />Secondly, thank you for this post. You've really been an anonymous inspiration to me. It helps to see that at times you are indeed a real person who struggled with things at times like identity. I know I'm always trying to figure out whether to be American or Korean and have been defiant against my mom for her attempts to turn me. I was born in Korea and grew up (for the most part in America) and my recently dissolved relationship was with a girl born in America who was sent away to Korea. Both of us struggled with our identities and had very different approaches (she went the Korean route and I chose the American route). I like to think of myself as pretty gifted and have the ability to do most anything well. This allows me to do pretty much anything I wish to, but then I'm constantly in fear of making the wrong choice so I never fully dedicate myself to any single thing. I have way too many interests and hobbies that really hinder me from really advancing. Thanks for sharing your aunt's advice, it was definitely exactly the thing I've been searching for for quite some time. (Don't worry AAK will definitely make the list). Thanks again for what you do and I hope you have a wonderful birthday.Mike Thomashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00904016062910615782noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36405856.post-58716599269718220212011-03-19T00:56:10.557-04:002011-03-19T00:56:10.557-04:00Happy Birthday, dear Korean!
And thank you for th...Happy Birthday, dear Korean!<br /><br />And thank you for this post. I am in my twenties still and am currently going through what you experienced before. I have a bit of way to go in terms of reconciling the two aspects of my identity, but it's good to know that I'm not alone in feeling that way.. chris .https://www.blogger.com/profile/03067653621843455806noreply@blogger.com