Monday, June 18, 2012

How to, Like, Totally Win K-Pop Star

Dear Korean,

I'm going to be auditioning for SM, and JYP what are some things that will get them to respect and take me seriously?

Lizzy L.

This is another breed of stupid questions that the Korean has been receiving a lot lately. Here is the Korean's answer:  sing really, really well, then cross your fingers and hope for the best.

Yes, this anonymous blogger totally knows how to crack this thing.

To people who keep sending this type of question -- seriously, what the hell did you expect when you sent your question? That this random anonymous blogger has the nuclear launch code that would fast-track you into JYP's heart?

Yes, if you are not Korean, your chances are lower if only because you are not Korean. So what? Did you think you would be considered an automatic finalist if you were Korean? Does it make sense to complain that, in a lottery with a trillion tickets outstanding, you were given eight tickets instead of ten?

If you are auditioning for a TV show, what you are going for is a moonshot. If you are into taking moonshots, please, don't let anyone stop you. But if you are scared away from taking a moonshot just because the moonshot has 0.0000000001% chance instead of 0.0000000002% chance, maybe you should not be in the business of taking moonshots at all.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean. Email away at


  1. I just don't get this audition show phenomenon.

    Oh, and no need for a nuclear launch code to get into JYP's heart. Simply locate his pants zipper. It seems to have worked pretty well in the past.

  2. Good looks and a crap ton of charisma too. It is, after all, "reality" TV...

  3. Mwahahahaha! Fear not, TK, send all the famewhores my way - I've got a bridge laying around somewhere I'd like to peddle to them for a princely sum....

  4. Wow, i cannot beleive some actually asks that i mean an audition is an audition if its for a talent agency show pretty damn good amount of talent and that should do the trick its really not rocket science ¬.¬ it? x

  5. I feel like the majority of those people just wanted to show off to The Korean and everyone who visits the blog... Like... "Watch me, I'm gonna perform on the Korean TV!!!"

  6. Good looks kpop and a crap ton of charisma too


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