Ancient Yellow Fever Sold Here

Dear Korean,

Were there any intermarriage between Koreans and other ethnicities (during the 1500s-1800s) and if so, what were the ethnicities likely to be? I've been very curious to know if in fact we are mixed because we are often mistaken for Japanese or mixed with Caucasian. I know that this "mix" is not recent and was probably during that period.

Grace K.


Dear Grace,

The Korean thinks what you said is a little odd – how does “mixed with Caucasian” equate to Japanese? And how did you come up with those three centuries, when the history of Korea goes for several millennia?

At any rate, it may surprise people that Koreans did have some degree of genetic mixing (otherwise known as horizontal mambo) with non-Koreans, or even non-East Asians. Early Korean history is full of accounts in which heroic figures were born from an egg that floated from faraway land. Korean historians now believe that such legends are metaphorical indications that there were immigrations from Southeast Asia or South Asia to Korea. (It sounds silly written this way, but the evidence – in terms of artifacts or matches between legends of Korea and legends of South Asia, etc. makes it the theory sound at least plausible.)

Earliest case that concretely recorded a non-East Asian emigrating to the Korean peninsula happened around 11th century, when Goryeo dynasty established a trading post in Byeokran-do, an island at the mouth of Yeseong river (near Gaeseong, North Korea.) The picture is a re-creation of the Byeokran-do trading post, built for a historical drama. (Source)


Byeokran-do was frequented by hundreds of Arabian merchants, who were known to trade with China via sea. In fact, historians usually credit these merchants for the name “Korea”, a derivation of Goryeo. Koreans called the merchants saekmok’in, “people with colored eyes.”

Historical records show at least one Arabian merchant staying Korea, presumably marrying a local Korean woman. The Goryeo king awarded him a Korean name of Jang Sunryong, who became the starting point of Deoksu Jang clan. (More discussion about Korean surnames here.) The Korean would not be surprised if there were many more such cases not recorded into history. The picture is Goryeo people's rendition of the Arabian merchants. (Source)


Another instance of non-East Asian immigration is with a person named Seol Son. Seol was an ethnic Uyghur, who live in what is now western China, bordering the “stan” countries. He had an official position in China, and immigrated to Korea in order to run away from a rebellion in 1358. He received an official position and a surname from the Korean king.

Goryeo was clearly more open to overseas trade than the dynasty followed, i.e. Joseon dynasty. Joseon was dubbed the “hermit kingdom”, as it sought self-sufficiency with minimal foreign contact. But there was at least two prominent occasions in which non-East Asians came, stayed and got married in Korea. Interestingly, they were both Dutch.

The first was a man named Jan Janse Weltevree. He was a Dutch sailor working on a ship that sailed between Jakarta, Indonesia (which at that time was a Dutch colony) and Nagasaki, Japan. In 1627, he and two of his shipmates were shipwrecked on the coast Jeju Island, the southernmost island of Korea. They were caught and sent to Hanyang, i.e. modern-day Seoul.

Weltevree and his shipmates worked as firearms instructors for the Korean military, and fought in a war against China in 1636. Only Weltevree survived the war. The Korean king at the time recognized his bravery, gave him a name Bak Yeon. (Bak = Park in many cases.) He married a Korean woman, and had one son and one daughter.

The second occasion was another group of Dutch sailors, a whopping 35 of them. The most famous one was a man named Hendrick Hamel, who eventually left/escaped Korea to return to Netherlands after thirteen years along with seven of his cohorts. Hamel later wrote a book about his experience, which ended up becoming the first book in Europe about Korea. (Source)

Similar to Weltevree, they were shipwrecked in Jeju Island in 1653, when Weltevree was 58. In fact, when the Dutch sailors were captured, Weltevree was asked to be an interpreter. Hamel's journal indicates that Weltevree's Dutch, after decades of inaction, was so poor that Hamel did not recognize it as a language at first. Korean historical records indicate that at least 10 of the 35 Dutch sailors married Korean women and settled in southwestern Korea.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com.

"All o'Y'all Look Alike!!"

Dear Korean,

This is a question about something I've heard in various forms from a lot of non-Asian Americans. Simply put, people tend to say that "all Asians look alike." That's an obvious exaggeration, but I'm wondering whether you think East Asians really do look more alike than people of European descent. After all, most East Asians have dark eyes and dark hair of a similar texture, whereas Europeans have many different eye colors and hair colors/textures. (Of course, I'm not counting perms, dye, and contact lenses.) Asian body types also seem to be more uniform than European ones. Is it just American stupidity or do Asians really look more alike than other groups?

Andrew T.

Dear Andrew,

You do have a point: All East Asians have dark hair and dark eyes. But really, that's all. Outside of hair and eye color, there is a whole lot more variation in East Asians than you might think. The point is illustrated by Isabella Byrd Bishop, a British woman who traveled Korea in 19th century. She visited a Buddhist temple in Korea whose claim to fame was its statuettes of 500 disciples of Buddha, and this was her impression: "Among the infinite variety, one figure has deeply set eyes, an aquiline nose, and thin lips; another a pug nose, squinting eyes, and a broad grinning mouth; one is Mongolian, another Caucasian, and another approximates to the Negro type. Here is a stout, jolly fellow, with a leer and a broad grin suggestive of casks of porter and the archaic London drayman..."

In other words, all other bodily features of East Asians could be radically different. The skin complexion can go anywhere from very dark to very light, roughly going from a slightly light-skinned black person's complexion to completely pasty. The hair curls and texture range from very straight and fine to very curly and coarse, almost to the level of jewfro. Eye size, nose size, lip size, height, build, you name it; East Asians are hardly uniform. If you think all Asians are short and have slight build, the Korean has 25 sumo wrestlers who would prove otherwise by sitting on you.

This then begs the question: Why do people think all Asians look alike? "Because people are stupid" is never a good answer. The answer has to do with heuristics. (The Korean covered it once here. Read it if you'd like a more detailed explanation.) To recap quickly: heuristics is a mental shortcut. People engage in heuristics by extracting the most prominent information out of a certain situation; if people encounter a new situation that shares the same prominent information, they conclude that the new situation is the same as the previous situation. Heuristics is useful because it enables quick decision-making with little information.

So suppose you are a person who has never seen an Asian person. You meet your first Asian man in your life; not very well met, just a random encounter at a party or something. What would you remember about his looks? Unless he has stunningly good looks, the only prominent thing you would remember about his appearnce a few days later would be his dark hair and his general Asian-ish looks. Then you meet your second Asian guy -- and bingo, the second Asian guy has dark hair and general Asian-ish looks. They both look the same!

(This is, in fact, one of the mechanisms through which deja vu can happen. Even though you are in a new place, for example, it feels like you have been there before. It's because some time in the past, you only remembered certain features of a place, and this new place shares the same features.)

This process happens to any race of people who are considered "exotic". A lot of white people thought black people looked all the same, until discussing race became the powder keg that it is right now. Here's a confession: the Korean himself, for some years after he moved to the U.S., had the hardest time distinguishing Danny Glover and Morgan Freeman. They are both slim, distinguished-looking black men who have some gray hair -- at least, those were the only things that stuck in the Korean's head whenever he saw Mr. Glover or Mr. Freeman. So even though they look nothing like each other, the Korean's mind just jumped the gun, until he consciously tried to remember every single facial feature of the two men.

As you might have noticed, this process definitely works the other way around as well. Europeans are more of a mix, but they can be broadly divided into light-haired, fair-skinned types and dark-haired, swarthy types. So if you are a white person traveling in Asia, you will definitely hear comments like "You look just like [insert the representative movie star here.]" It's pretty flattering to hear, but just remember that such a statement is the same ilk as "All Asians look alike."

In that case, how can one distinguish different Asians by looks? (i.e. Korean, Japanese, Chinese, etc.?) Well, that's for another, highly interesting post.

Got a question or comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com.

Dog Meat, and Cultural Conquistadors

The Korean has already touched upon dog meat in Korea in a previous post, which is one of the most frequently read posts on this blog. But because the post attempted to cover both the facts about Korea's dog meat consumption, the Korean's own opinion, and additional questions regarding that topic, it has become a bit unwieldy.

Recently, the BusanHaps magazine ran a couple of stories about dog meat. The second story was written by Ms. Frankie Herrington, who wishes to abolish dog meat from Korea. The Korean figured that this would be a good chance to present a cleaner and more focused argument about why dog meat consumption in Korea must not be banned, and about how dog meat abolitionists -- both Korean and non-Korean -- are making things worse by standing in the way of reasonable regulations. Haps was gracious enough to allow me to submit the story, which is reproduced below. (Warning:  it's long.)

Just a couple of points to make before we get into the op-ed. The story has been up on the Haps magazine for about three days now, and the discussion in the comments section has been, ahem, lively. In the Korean's opinion, the two takeaways from the discussion on the board so far are:

1. CARE, one of Korea's leading animal rights organizations that opposes regulating the dog meat industry, essentially confirmed the Korean's point in its comment:

"The reality is: passing the Animal Protection Law does very little in terms of enforcement and punishment of cruelty to animals. This is a sad reality. We can prove this by pointing to the fact that dogs are still hanged for food and crammed into cages during transportation, despite clear language in the APL saying it is forbidden. So, why support the APL? Because doing so sends a message of opposition to people who abuse animals. We want to deter people from acting cruelly to animals, even if the law has no real biting power.

Regulating the dog meat industry would also do very little in terms of changing the industry to more humane standards. If the government were to make dog meat "legal" and "regulated," it would be sending a message of compliance; i.e. it is OK to eat regulated dog meat "because the dogs are riased [sic] and killed humanely.""

As discussed in the op-ed, the Korean's point was that animal rights groups, including CARE, are not actually in the business of improving animals' lives; rather, they are in the business of culture war. By this comment, CARE frankly states that it approaches legislation as a means to send messages, rather than as a means to actually improve the lives of meat dogs.

2.  It is self-evident from the exchanges in the comment section which side of the debate is more serious and level-headed, and which side is hyper-emotional and irrational. Except for a few high notes struck by CARE (which the Korean does appreciate) and one or two other commenters, the behavior of the anti-dog meat crowd has been a display on everything bad about discourse on the Internet.

Having said that, the full op-ed is available after the jump.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@gmail.com.

What is the Line Between Curious and Creepy?

Dear Korean,

While reading through several different entries on your blog I noticed that while you seem to have frustration toward non-Asian people who don't know how to interact with Asian Americans, you also seem to have a disdain for people with "yellow fever" or who are caught up in the Korean wave. What do you consider a normal balance between having no clue about Asians and having a creepy obsession with them? Is there some sort of normal or appropriate level of interest in Asian culture?

Joanna C.

Dear Joanna,

The Korean likes your question so much that it jumped the line. The Korean likes it because it really goes to the heart of appreciating different cultures, of what to do and what not to do.

First, you have the Korean exactly pegged. He is very annoyed by people who do not know how to deal with Asian Americans. He also finds blatant yellow fever to be vile. The Korean's stance is not idiosyncratic to himself -- this is generally resonant with prevalent Asian American attitudes. These two stances appear to be opposite of each other, because one appears to be about knowing too little while the other appears to be about knowing too much. So maybe a middle ground is the way to go?

Actually, no. What appears to be two opposite things is actually two different manifestations of the same root cause, and it is that root cause that Asian Americans find annoying. The name of that root cause is "objectification."

Here, the Korean is using the term "objectification" to mean treating a person like a non-person or a half-person. This is the incessantly recurring reality for Asian Americans: instead of being treated as a whole person, they are treated as an abstract representation of their ethnicity. We may breathe, walk and talk like real persons, but we are not quite a real person like white Americans are real.

Let us start with the cluelessness with Asian Americans part. In one of the post popular posts in AAK! history, the Korean wrote:

Do not ask "Where are you from?" to an Asian person unless you are reasonably certain that s/he is outside of his/her American hometown. If the Asian answers, say, "Los Angeles", do not follow up with "where are you originally from?" or "where are your parents from?" Our precise ethnicity is none of your fucking business.

Why is the question annoying? It is annoying because when a clueless person insists on asking "Where are your parents from?" to an Asian American, it becomes clear that the person is fixating on the ethnicity of the Asian American above all else. The many other possible interests -- the human interests -- of that Asian American are ignored and buried under the person's ethnicity. That Asian American might like Tupac, enjoy Russian literature and have a strong opinion on balancing the federal budget. No matter. She will be defined by her parents' country of origin, because the questioner cannot get past her looks. In the eyes of the questioner, she is no longer a person with real experience, real emotions -- she is an object, a representation of her ethnicity, a scale-model of "Asian-ness."

Here is another example that the Korean wrote:

Do not say "gonnichiwa" to an Asian person in America ... On second thought, don't say any Asian phrase to any Asian person, unless you are at least conversational in the language. It's the 21st century, people. We are no longer impressed by your amazing ability to say "hello".

Throwing out one or two pieces of meager Asian language vocabulary to an Asian American is doubly insulting. It signifies not only that the the verbiage-thrower sees the Asian American's ethnicity above and beyond all else, but also that the thrower thinks offering an ethnicity-specific magic word will somehow cause a friendly reaction.

More after the jump.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@gmail.com.

Where is Korean Rock?

Dear Korean,

I know that you've touched a little bit on Korean rock music-- particularly in your "most influential" series-- but I was curious as to what the rock scene is really like in Korea today. Why is there so little Korean rock music? How are rockers treated today in Korea, considering the dominance of the K-pop idols?

Curious K-Rock fan

Let's address the first question first -- why is there so little Korean rock music?

Answer:  the premise of the question is wrong, because there are tons of Korean rock music. Tons. Let's put it this way: if we played a game where the Korean names two rock songs for every one idol group song, the Korean guarantees that he will win every time. In fact, this is one of the most frustrating things about discussion Korean pop music -- the idea that manufactured pretty boys and pretty girls comprise the entire universe of K-pop. Nothing can be farther from the truth.

Nor is this guy the entirety of K-pop.
You had your fun, people. It's time to move on.
(source)

It is true that Korean rock is less visible to the international audience because Korean rock, unlike Korean idol groups, is not systematically pushed abroad by well-capitalized management companies. It is also true that Korean rock is less "mainstream," in a sense that Korean rock sells less number of albums, appear less on television and less frequently heard (if at all) in shopping malls in Korea.

But so what? Isn't being independent, underground and non-commercial more properly within the spirit of rock and roll? Do you know how many number one singles that the legendary rock band Radiohead has? Zero. How about other legends like Led Zeppelin or Depeche Mode? Also zero. Celine Dion has not one, but two, albums that outsold Nirvana's Nevermind, widely considered the greatest alternative rock album ever. Speaking of Nevermind, you would never hear Smells like Teen Spirit in your neighborhood mall. But does any of these factoids diminish the importance or influence of rock music? Of course not.

The lesson here is simple: people like mainstream pop more than rock music. That's why mainstream pop is mainstream. Korean pop music scene is not an exception -- that's why mainstream Korean pop established a beachhead in the international stage first. But that should not lead to the conclusion that rock music does not exist in Korea, or Korean people don't like rock music. In fact, rock music is one of the two pillars that hold up the foundation of Korean pop music, and it has a storied history in Korea. (The other pillar is -- don't laugh -- trot [트로트]. This will be explained in a future post.)

(More after the jump.)

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@gmail.com.

Translation Review - 빛의 제국/Your Republic is Calling You by Kim Young-Ha (2010)

The Korean, apparently, is big time nowadays -- he is receiving free new books from publishers in hopes of having them reviewed on the blog. Life as a Z-list celebrity is sweet.

So far the Korean has received several novels, but he did not really review any of them. Truth is, the Korean is not much of a novel reader at all. When he does, he only reads canonical texts for the sake of being more educated, not really for the sake of being entertained. Because of that, the Korean is not very capable of giving a good review of a novel.

But the most recent novel sent to the Korean was different. Your Republic is Calling You is a translated Korean novel. See, the Korean may not be a good novel reader, but he is a pretty damned good translator. So he may not be able to give a good novel review, he can give a solid translation review.

Korean original of Your Republic is Calling You

So the Korean went out and bought Korean version of Your Republic is Calling You, which is actually called 빛의 제국 (“Empire of Lights”). For the first half of the two books, the Korean first read a section of 빛의 제국, then read the same section in Your Republic is Calling You. Then for the second half, the Korean read through and finished 빛의 제국, then read through the entire second half of Your Republic is Calling You.

But first, a little bit about the novel itself. Kim Young-Ha is a promising young novelist in Korea, and this is his fourth novel. 빛의 제국 was originally published in 2006, and the English version was published in late 2010. The translator is Kim Chi-Young.

Kim Young-Ha

Your Republic begins with main character Kim Ki-Yong, a 42-year-old who runs a small movie import business in Seoul. He is married to his wife Ma-Ri who is a saleswoman at Volkswagen dealership. The couple has a daughter Hyon-Mi, a bright high school student with typical teenage angst. Ki-Yong leads a peaceful if lethargic life, until one morning, a mysterious email directs him to Order Number 4: “Liquidate everything and return immediately.” Now Ki-Yong, a North Korean spy who had been undercover for 21 years and received his last orders more than a decade ago, has one day to undo his life of two decades. On that same day, Ma-Ri and Hyon-Mi go through their own unusual, personal adventures.

“Kafkaesque” is the word that is often used to describe the tone of the novel. That description is fair, in a sense that Your Republic sterilely narrates events that appear to be manipulating individuals beyond their control. But with Kafka, it does not really matter where the story was set. The value of The Trial endures because the aspects of the modern legal system (or more generally, the modern state) identified in the novel resonates universally. In contrast, Your Republic is completely dependent upon the stage. Unlike the story of Josef K., Ki-Yong’s story can happen only in the context of the two Koreas.

Therein lies the translator’s challenge. The events and emotions attendant to that story may be very familiar to Koreans, but not necessarily so for non-Koreans. Like most translations are, it is not simply about conveying meaning -- it is also about conveying the emotions evoked by the meaning. So how did our translator do?

More after the jump. WARNING: many, many spoilers after the jump.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@gmail.com.

Ask a Korean! News: The Best of the Worst

Dear readers,

The Korean receives a lot of questions. In the 2.5 year history of AAK!, the Korean has answered more than 1,000 questions publicly over the blog and privately over the email.

Among those, there certainly are some questions that are total head-scratchers. The Korean simply deleted them at first, but at some point the Korean began to collect them for entertainment value. Now that the collection is at a good size, the Korean can share an exquisite sample of those questions. These are all real emails from real people.

Um, What do You Need??

Hi, Where can I find older korean sexual tapes? Are there some on the market?

- H. Blash

Hi, My name is Phil, I live in Paris, France. Could you please help me: I 'm looking for some typical korean gay web sites? Could you give me some web sites adresses / URL. I love korean guys. You are so beautilfull all of you korean guys! I'm looking for KOREAN web site with gay porn pics and vids. Thank you very much.

- Phil

Ask a Korean! is NOT Korea Living Assistance!

Hello, I am going to the Incheon airport tomorrow, and I need to ask a bus driver this question: "Does this bus go to Bucheon?".

I think it is this 이 버스는 부천에 갈 수 있습니까? bus I am not sure. Is this correct? Or is it too formal?

- Ian K.

When and where is the queer festival for 2009? Thanks!

- Tiffini B.

Dear Korean, My friend and I are coming to Soeul for a few days around Christmas, from Tokyo, where we live. What should we do? Where should we stay? We are poor, and we want to have random adventures! Can we stay with you? If you come to Tokyo, you can stay with us!

- Yelena

Does the Korean SOUND Like a Treasure Hunter??

Hey the Korean, I find your site incredibly enlightening and although this isn't quite your area I thought you might be able to help. I have been looking forever to find the dojang for the poet Kim Sowol. [Emphasis added by the Korean. Dojang = "stamp"] It is driving me nuts. I have searched in English, getting absolutely nothing relevant (it doesn't help that it is some kind of popular martial arts). My searches in Korean also have not been great (I learned Korean to do research on the DPRK, but my skills with google are pretty useless). I feel like I should just give up because it isn't all that important, but I have spent so much time that I feel like it was a waste. If you don't know where I could look can you give me an idea of whether this is publicly available, I assumed as in the west that signatures of writers and artists would be well known, but maybe I misunderstood. Thanks for all the hilarious and serious answers you give.

- Kate

Right, Because the Korean Knows Every Single Korean on Earth, Past and Present...

Dear Friend,

I am trying to contact my friend Mesuk Ahn that once lived in Gaithersburg, Maryland and worked in Waldorf, Maryland in the USA. In January 2003 she returned to Korea and I lost contact with her. She was born October 17, 1977 and she is from Seoul, Korea.

- Jim H.

Hello there, My name is Jimmy and I need to know if Korean women keep their last names( as do the Vietnamese) when marrying an american. Also, if I were looking for a friend from 1965, any idea how to begin. Thanks.

- Jimmy L.

WAAAAY Too Much Information, Thanks

Hiya,

I would like to know if Korean guys find it a turn-on or are just generally cool with their women vomitting on them. The reason I ask is because I've watched a view Kdramas and in almost every one of these the girl always vomits on the guy. I know that whatever comes off TV is not reality and in my experience quite the opposite of reality; does this mean that Korean women wished their men were cool with it because they're actually not?

I hope I made sense.

- Anonymous Coward

Dear Korean,

im 21 and pregnant. i only like korean guys though. if i hunt for an outcasted, fatter, balding, older one, would i yet stand a chance at marriage? or is that taboo to get with a knocked up white girl? im cute.

ahhh korean korean. its not you i really want... its ur moms kimchi.. how can i reach her..?? T T

- Audrey E.

hi, im currently trying to start back up in school, i was in korea for almost 2 years( U.S Airforce) my biological mother is korean, and still lives in korea, she is still ill, i still have my dream of living in korea, work wise of course the only thing i could think of is teaching english in korea if i wanted to live there. Im wondering how difficult it would be to move to korea to live for good. when i was there for my u.s aiforce tour i really enjoyed it there, made lots of friends and got back in contact with my mother. I i figured if i lived there i would be able to see my mother as much as i wanted. (she is currently in a busan hospital, been there for the passed 8 years, so they have said) Another thing is on teaching english in korea alot of my friends say getting my education is not a really big deal (korean american friends), Alot of them have dropped out of college and left to go teach english in korea. i would greatly appreciate any answers on how to maybe get korean citizenship. and how important is my education just to teach english in korea as perhaps a permenant job.

- Danny P.

No, Thanks. The Economy is Not THAT Bad Yet, and the Korean is Waiting on Random House

Hi Korean,

I am a publisher of internet dating websites and I am constantly looking for high quality writers to produce articles. I stumbled upon your blog and enjoyed reading your style of writing. If you are interested in writing dating issues specifically pertaining to Korean dating culture, please drop me a line. Looking forward to your favorable reply.

best regards,

- Tim K.
[Company name redacted]

Hey Korean,

my name is BlueMystery and I'm a dating coach for PickupAsia (www.pickupasia.com).

I want to give you an interview about dating in the country you are currently blogging about, or give you the chance to share your opinion on 'professional dating companies' in Korea (which is something new since you've been here in 2001) or even if they are needed. I want to give your readers some insight on what it takes to meet and date women of Korea so that they can live happier lives, if that's something that is even possible.

Our company has been serving clients since 2007 and have recently been on a T.V interview in Hong Kong (we'll send you a link as soon as we get it in mid-April. We also already have a format for questions which you can refer to if you'd like.

Looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Regards,

- BlueMystery

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com. (But for God's sake, think about it for a few minutes before you send it.)

The Korean's English Acquisition, and the Best Method to Master a Foreign Language, Guaranteed

Dear Korean,

My name is The English Teacher. The English Teacher has a question for The Korean. The English Teacher read the Korean's recent post about the interesting 바보 Ray. In that post, The Korean said that he came to America at the age of 16, without knowing English. The English Teacher can judge by The Korean's prose that his written English is for all intents and purposes, perfect (unless The Korean employs an editor to raise said prose, which The English Teacher thinks is unlikely). The English Teacher wonders about The Korean's spoken English. Do people know that The Korean is a non-native speaker when they hear him talk? If so, how noticeable is The Korean's accent? How old is The Korean, if he doesn't mind The English Teacher asking?

As a teacher of English to Korean high-school students, The English Teacher is merely curious about how much he can expect from his students, and what he can tell his students when they ask how much improvement they will see if they go to the US to study English.


The English Teacher


Dear English Teacher,

The Korean is very happy to see the third-person speak catching on. It is the Korean’s wish to have AAK! sounding like a discussion among enlightened pro wrestlers.

But yes, the Korean did come to America at the age of 16 years and 8 months. He is now 28 years and 10 months old. But saying he came “without knowing English” is an exaggeration, since the Korean received regular English education in Korean public schools before he came to the U.S. (Although many readers would know that does not mean a whole lot.)

And no, AAK! does not have a copy editor. (But that does not stop the grammarians from emailing the Korean with grammatical mistakes in his post. Keep them coming!) As to the Korean’s spoken English, you can be the judge. Here is an interview that the Korean did with UCLA radio about Barack Obama’s election. People who hear the Korean have said that he has a West Coast accent, characterized by slightly slower speech and a stronger r sound. The Korean also has a fairly obvious Korean American inflection. (Not a Korean accent, mind you – those who have spoken to many second generation Korean Americans know what the Korean is talking about.)

Map of American dialects, based on the PBS special Do You Speak American?

To give a self-assessment, the fact that he learned English relatively late still subtly bothers the Korean in certain situations. The Korean has a really hard time reading people’s handwritings unless they are extremely neat, because he just has not seen enough of them growing up. Also, he often stumbles on scientific/medical terms that persons with his education would generally know. (For example, the Korean can never remember which leg bone is the “femur”.) Idioms give the Korean a hard time as well – it took him years to figure out what the phrase “cut the cheese” meant. The Korean still hates talking on the phone in English because he has to concentrate extra hard compared to speaking face-to-face. Careful readers of AAK! also may have noticed that the Korean still slips up on the usages of articles and prepositions.

But in the grand scheme of things, all of the foregoing are just minor annoyances. The Korean obviously feels pretty comfortable in English, and he rarely has a difficult time expressing any concept in English.

Would the English Teacher’s students be able to do what the Korean did? The Korean thinks they can, although it won’t be easy. The Korean will describe his English acquisition below. Despite his commendation of the third-person speak in the beginning, the Korean will now switch to first person – because this process was a rather personal affair.

How the Korean learned English, and the Korean’s guaranteed method of achieving fluency in another language, after the jump.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com.

What Makes a Person a Korean?

Dear Korean,

My wife was born and raised in Korea, as was her brother who did obligatory military service. Initially when they came to the US, they felt that one can only be “Korean” if they were born and raised on the Korean peninsula and served in the Korean military, if they were male. Otherwise, people who deserted Korea for economic or educational reasons are former or 1.5 or 2nd generation Koreans. Like that Cho Seung Hui dude, although he was a Korean national with a Green Card, he really was more so a Korean American since, like you, his family left for greener pastures. Even the Korean press emphasized this point.

What’s your opinion on the matter of “Korean-ness?”

John I.

Dear John,

Profound question – it won’t be easy to answer. The Korean really struggled to organize his thoughts on this topic, and finally he decided to just write in a stream of consciousness. Here it is.

The first reaction by the Korean reading your email was: Why does it matter for anyone to be a Korean? It is not as if being an ethnic Korean entitles you to anything. (To be sure, being a Korean citizen would entitle you to a lot of things, but obviously this is not what we are talking about here.)

But strike that. Being an ethnic Korean does entitle you to one very valuable thing: You are a presumptive member of a large group of people who are predisposed to being friendly to you, i.e. other Koreans.

Why are Koreans predisposed to being friendly to each other? Because it is presumed (usually correctly) that Koreans have shared a common experience. Obviously, Koreans in Korea live in the same land and share their destiny as habitants of the same country. All Korean Americans have experienced immigration directly or indirectly, dealt with the same language and cultural issues, and overcame the same obsessive parents. And there are enough in common between Koreans in Korea and Korean Americans to have the bond that is stronger than two complete strangers.

So when your brother-in-law says someone is Korean and someone is not, he is really evaluating whom to share that bond with. After all, having a ready-made cordiality (friendship may be too strong of a word) is not a trivial thing.

(An aside: Is this racist? The Korean doesn’t think so. On a superficial level, liking someone based on race may appear racist. But that’s not really the reason why Koreans tend to like other Koreans. Koreans like one another because generally there is enough shared experience to provide for an instant friendship. At the end of the day, we will become friends more easily with people who have had similar experience as ours. Race happens to provide a shortcut indicator.)

How to Measure One’s Koreanness?

Then is there any way to determine if someone is Korean? The most obvious first step is whether someone considers his/herself to be a Korean. After all, one cannot be forced into a group identity – group identity is only a part of self-identity, and no one can control the way you regard yourself.

(Here is an interesting example of forced-upon group identity: In 1997, Miss Universe was Brook Lee, a quarter Korean. Her grandfather was a Korean who immigrated to Hawaii. The Korean media went nuts when Lee won Miss Universe – Look, world’s most beautiful woman has some Korean in her! However, all this attention from Korea bewildered Lee, who said until she was mobbed by Korean media, she did not really consider herself Korean.)

But does subjective acceptance of group identity suffice? It cannot. There have to be some objective barometers because purely subjective measures would be ludicrous. One who is be born outside of Korea from non-Korean parents, has never visited Korea, does not know one word in Korean, dislikes all Korean food, cannot handle even one shot of soju, etc., cannot possibly become Korean by simply believing oneself to be a Korean.

In fact, objective factors, if numerous enough, can overwhelm the importance of subject acceptance. It would be plain stupid if someone who is born and raised in Korea to Korean parents, speaks only Korean and has never left Korea suddenly claim he is no longer Korean.

From this, we can extract a unified theory of Koreanness: Koreanness is about how much, and how well, you buy into the idea of Korean group identity.

In this formula, “how much” refers to the subjective portion. How much do you identify with Korean group identity? Just a few examples about Korean group identity: Do you feel a personal connection to the people in Korean history? Do you cheer for Korean national soccer team? Can you live without Korean food? Does good news or bad news coming out of Korea makes you happy or upset you?

“How well” refers to the objective portion, because this portion would be judged by other people. The “how well” dimension of the same examples about Korean group identity would be: How much do you know about Korean history? Can you name three players in the Korean national soccer team? Do you know how to cook Korean food, or can you recognize well-made Korean food from junk? Do you follow the news coming out of Korea?

Mathematically expressed (because the Korean must enforce the stereotype!), the formula would be:

K = M * W

K = "Koreanness", value ranging from 0 to 1
M = "How Much", value greater than 0 and less than or equal to 1
W = "How Well", value greater than 0 and less than or equal to 1

Value of M and W can be equal to 1 but not 0, so that we can allow for a case where an objectively Korean person subjectively denies Koreanness, or an objectively non-Korean person subjectively accepts Koreanness. Yet for those who are neither objectively nor subjectively Korean, value K would infinitely approach 0, which is the correct result.

But Wait, Here is the Fun Part…

Up to this point, the Korean thinks there is not much disagreement. But the disagreement would come in the answers to the following two questions:

(1) How do you possibly assign numerical value to W? Remember, W is the only thing to which we can give value, because the value of M is self-given, while W is supposed to be an objective measure. Question is, is such a thing even possible? Who is going to determine the weight of each factor, and the gradation of each factor? The Korean is not even sure all individuals whose K value equals 1 would agree on the proper scaling of W value.

(2) Is there a particular minimal value of K that one must attain to be a “Korean”? Everyone would agree that K=1 would be fully Korean, and K=0 (after solving for limit function) would be a non-Korean. But what about K=.5? K =.25?

John’s brother-in-law would answer the two questions thusly (from what the Korean can glean):

(1) Completing military service and living in Korea must factor prominently in the calculation for W value.

(2) Yes. Korean immigrants’ M value would certainly be greater than 0, and their W value may as well be greater than 0. But their W value would not equal to 1, since they left Korea. So there is Korean immigrants’ K value is greater than 0. But John’s brother-in-law does not consider them “Korean”, which means there must be a positive K value under which people are not considered Korean. That K value could be fairly high -- the Korean can picture a situation where a Korean immigrant's M value would be 1 and W value would be .75 (if the person completed the military service but left Korea). The K value would be .75, which would not be enough for John's brother-in-law.

To be sure, these two questions will never be answered in an authoritative way – the answer will completely depend upon the individual. But at least this is a helpful way of thinking about group identity.

Here are the Korean’s answers to the questions:

(1) W value should not matter much, as long as it is just a little greater than 0. Having a little bit of Korean heritage (as little as third- or fourth-generation Korean, i.e. 1/8 or 1/16 Korean, or having spent some portion of one’s life in Korea, or marrying a Korean,) knowing just a few Korean words, enjoying Korean food, etc., would be plenty enough to get a W value a little greater than 0.

Instead, the M value should matter a lot more. In fact, instead of having a gradation, M value might have to be either 1 or infinitely approaching 0, because you either think you are a Korean or you are not. (But the Korean is not ready to rule out the possibility that M could be between 0 and 1 – for example, you could have a person who empathizes with Koreanness a little, i.e. M=.25, and another person who empathizes very strongly, i.e. M=.85).

(2) Yes, but the requisite K value would be very low, such that it can include people with low W value.

So there you have it. The Korean would love to hear your answers the two questions.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com.

The Korean's Summer Barbecue Recipe

The Korean strives to be a reasonable, even-keeled person, but he cannot help himself in one particular area: Korean food. When it comes to Korean food, the Korean will be more unreasonable than a tiger sports dad attending a peewee football game. He will be totally biased, irrational and obnoxious. He will utterly disregard the reasonable preference of everyone else. He will lose his shit and wantonly issue death threats to anyone who gives a bad recipe.

The most recent recipient of the Korean's rage is Mark Bittman, who presented this "Korean" recipe to the New York Times. Now, the Korean actually likes Mark Bittman's work, as Mr. Bittman presents great insights on food and food culture. Mr. Bittman also gave a clear disclaimer: "I will not (and cannot) claim that every element of this menu is legitimately Korean." And please, read the paragraph above just one more time -- the Korean is not a rational person when it comes to Korean food. He is a crazy raving lunatic. You don't have to listen to him.

Having said all that...

GO DIE IN A FIRE, MARK BITTMAN. Boston lettuce leaves for ssam? Why not eat sandpaper instead? And gochujang for ssam too? What are you, 10 years old? And who told you that there is such Korean food as "grilled scallion salad" and "Korean potato salad"? Where did you get your recipe from, David Chang?

And the greatest, most unforgivable sin of all -- soy sauce in kimchi. What the fuck. WHAT. THE. FUCK. The Korean nearly had a heart attack just reading that. Thanks asshole, soon all the trendy restaurants will serve soy sauce cabbage and call it kimchi (but pronouncing it "keem-shee".) Go to hell and die.

And the idiots who commented on the article about how gochujang (chili bean paste) is never made with beans, fuck you too. Gochujang is made with beans. Have you even seen a meju, dipshit? That's the fermented block of ground beans, from which doenjang, gochujang and ganjang are made. It also looks like your face -- ugly. Shut the fuck up if you don't know what you're talking about.

::::HYPERVENTILATING::::

Ok. Alright. Even amid this irrationality, the Korean still has enough sense to think: if you don't like something, don't just criticize -- offer an improved suggestion. So here are the Korean's suggested recipe for a real deal, backyard Korean barbecue.

The recipes, after the jump.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@gmail.com.

What's Real in Korean Hip Hop? A Historical Perspective

Recently, Lizzie Parker addressed an important question in the Beyond Hallyu website:  what is "real" in Korean hip hop? 

The question of authenticity may pop up in any given genre of Korean pop music, because every genre of K-pop is an import. Yet the question of authenticity is particularly pressing in hip hop, because no other genre of pop music cares so much about "being real," to a point that authenticity is the genre's raison d'etre, as hip hop does. Indeed, even in the birthplace of hip hop, the quest for authenticity is elusive. (Is Jay-Z still real, even though he went corporate?) When hip hop is exported to a different cultural sphere, the hurdle of authenticity becomes ever higher.

Parker's article did a great job in identifying the elements of what is considered "real" in Korean hip hop. Consider this post a companion piece, about how the idea of authenticity evolved in Korean hip hop. This inquiry is necessarily a historical one. So let's jump right into history of Korean hip hop, and start with the pioneers.

I.  Pre-History:  Early 1990s

The very first piece of K-pop that may be considered "hip hop" appeared in 1989. Hong Seo-beom [홍서범], a moderately popular rock musician, recorded a song called Kim Satgat [김삿갓].

Even by today's standards, Kim Satgat's rapping, overlaid on funk beat, has held up surprisingly well. But Hong's attempt was clearly an experimental one. Hong never aspired to be a hip hop musician; Kim Satgat was a one-off, avant-garde take at the new form of music that was gaining ground in the U.S. at the time. In the popular recount of Korean hip hop's history, Hong name is rarely mentioned.

Instead, the K-pop artists who came after Hong, such as Seo Taiji [서태지], Hyeon Jin-yeong [현진영] and Lee Hyun-do [이현도] are usually considered the pioneers of Korean hip hop. But even with this corps of artists, the label "hip hop musicians" would be a stretch. Seo Taiji's first album in 1992 , for example, definitely caused a sensation with a historical rap number, I Know [난 알아요]. But hip hop was just one of the many musical styles that Seo Taiji played with; in his later albums, Seo drifted toward his original love, i.e. rock music. Lee Hyun-do and his group Deux showed more dedication to the genre, but Lee's creativity (at least for the music that he himself would perform) was cut short when Kim Seong-jae [김성재], Lee's partner in Deux and the animal spirit of the group, passed away under mysterious circumstances at the tender age of 23.

(More after the jump)

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@gmail.com.

Time to Come Clean About my other Blog

(FYI, see the same post at Roboseyo here.)

OK, readers. It's time to be a bit more honest over here.

It all started with a bit of an experiment, playing around with anonymity on the Internet... but I really feel like the lie has gotten too big.

See, it started back in 2008, when The Korean from Ask A Korean! (now, with a festive exclamation point!) and I got together to do the "Why Do Expats Complain" series that really put Roboseyo on the map, back when nobody read my blog.

Well, that went so well, that The Korean and I (I even know his real name) have become quite good friends through e-mail correspondence, Skype, and stuff. I even chat online with The Korean Fiance when he's out. (She's really sweet, and hella smart.)

But here's the interesting thing... during the "Expats Complain" thing, one person e-mailed us and said that it seemed like there was an echo going on -- that our writing styles were so similar he suspected we were the same writer. That was amusing to us both, but you know, it's the internet... anything's possible.

So TK and I played around with that idea for a while: it became a running joke between us, and I'd put a phrase into a post that he'd recognize as similar to his style, or he'd do the same to me; nobody else would have noticed if they weren't looking for it, like we were. But then, in December, he asked me if I'd be interested in submitting a post for his site, and seeing if anybody'd spot that it wasn't him writing. So I wrote "Fan Death is Real" in January '09 -- I've always been a fan death believer myself, though deeply closeted, for the sake of the scorn people pour on believers, but I figured everybody's be shaking their heads so much with the "typical of a Korean" prejudice that nobody'd notice it wasn't The Korean's usual writing style.

Well, nobody even noticed a bit -- they just got into the back and forth on the comments, and barely paid attention to the different choice in adjectives.

Emboldened, TK sent me another shocker of a headline: you might not have noticed, but the "I want to Kill the President" post that went up on Roboseyo in March 2009, and discussed free speech in Korea, wasn't written by me at all. Did you notice? I don't know that anybody did.

So it worked... nothing else came of it, and things went on as normal, until a few months ago.

As you know, The Korean got engaged a little while ago, which, along with a promotion at work, left him with no free time to maintain Ask A Korean! at the standard he preferred. So he asked me to step in...

At first I was nervous about taking the extra work on, but honestly, the challenge of writing from a different perspective was so refreshing, I feel like it's been polishing my craft as a writer, so I've been writing both Ask A Korean! and Roboseyo since late January (switching from hotmail to gmail was so that I could manage the mail on an account separate from a few of The Korean's other important, connected online accounts), on the understanding that later, when I'm getting ready for my wedding, he'll take over Roboseyo for a little while.

However, the wheel of fate would turn yet again. Turns out The Korean's promotion led to another, bigger promotion (good for him, I suppose) and this means that, while he has enough time to keep commenting on The Marmot's Hole (that was never me), he's ready to set blogging aside for good.

Given that Ask A Korean! is more popular than Roboseyo ever was by an order of magnitude, and that the question and answer format is so simple the posts practically write themselves, and maintaining two popular, individual blogs is just a little too much, especially now that Hub of Sparkle's back online, I've decided to quit Roboseyo, and devote all my blogging time to Ask A Korean!.

I hope you don't mind, readers: I've really enjoyed doing the Roboseyo blog, and there might still be posts here, more aimed at my close friends and family (more stuff about the rash on my knee than the rash of celebrity suicides: personal, not social commentary), but you'll be happy to know that I'll still be blogging, if you just take the time to switch your bookmarks to Ask A Korean!. To avoid too much confusion, I'll change my own moniker to "The New Korean," to avoid being mistaken with the old Korean. And still feel free to send in translation requests: I have some friends I can farm it out to.

Finally: it's been a great ride. I'm grateful to my readers and especially all the people who left comments and wrote e-mails. I hope for your support at Ask A Korean! as well: Korea remains an inexhaustible topic, and Koreans are an inexhaustibly fascinating people, and i look forward to keeping up the exploration.

All the best, dear readers.

Roboseyo (The New Korean)

p.s. Check out my new "About Me" section here at AAK!

-EDIT 4/2/2010- Hope everyone enjoyed the joke. And a massive thank you to Roboseyo, who played the part superbly.

2PM, Jaebeom, and Korea's Internet Culture

Dear Korean,

You may recall about two months ago that a kid named Jaebeom from the boy group 2PM (managed by JYP) was basically run out of Korea for some "anti-Korean" comments he made on his MySpace page a few years ago. What's your take on this, especially surrounding the jingoistic knee-jerk reaction to his comments, as well as the equally ridiculous movement to boycott JYP for not "protecting" Jaebeom?

Simon


Dear Simon,

The Korean will first state this for the record: the Korean loathes K-pop. Most Korean music worth listening to was produced before the 21st century. As of now, the Korean can count with one hand the Korean singers/bands that are worth listening to. Everyone else is a pretty, soulless shell mass-produced by production companies. Watching them or listening to most K-pop stars makes you stupider. There is nothing redeeming about them. They are the musical equivalent of McDonald’s French fries.

If you are interested in contemporary Korean music, try this guy.
His name is Jang Gi-Ha (장기하). Absolutely fantastic.

But the phenomenon that you described is indeed interesting, so here is the Korean’s take on it. But first, for those who are unfamiliar with the context, the Korean will provide an executive summary:

JYP, or Jin-Yeong Park, is one of the most successful talent developer/managers in the K-pop scene. (Park himself was a relatively successful pop star when he was younger.) The products of JYP Entertainment include such luminaries of K-pop such as Rain and Wonder Girls. JYP frequently mines talent out of both Koreans and Korean Americans.

One of JYP’s most recent creations was 2PM, a boy group with seven members that debuted in 2008. (Hilariously, JYP simultaneously created 2AM, a four-member boy group who sing ballads rather than the beat-heavy dance numbers that 2PM do.) Jaebeom, a third-generation Korean American from Seattle, was one of the members. Jaebeom joined JYP Entertainment in 2005 at age 18, and was trained in Korea prior to his debut as a 2PM member. 2PM was very successful, rising to the top of the charts by early 2009.

2PM. Barf.

Trouble began for Jaebeom in September 2009, when his MySpace page that he kept between 2005 and 2007 became public. Particularly problematic was a correspondence from Jaebeom to his friend on Feb. 22, 2005, which said: “Korea is gay. I hate Koreans. I want to come back like no other.” (Quote is cleaned up for grammar and punctuation.) When the news broke, JYP initially defended Jaebeom, calling the posts “youthful mistakes.” Jaebeom also issued an apology. Other members of 2PM stood by him, expressing support on their own homepages.

But the reaction of K-pop fans, particularly over the Internet, was swift and harsh. Massive amount of hate mail and blog posts soon overwhelmed the popular Korean websites such as Naver and Daum (similar to Yahoo and Google.) Petitions calling for 2PM’s disbandment circulated. JYP suspended 2PM’s appearances. Jaebeom then quit 2PM and returned to Seattle, four days after the news broke. Counter-protest from Jaebeom’s fans also broke out on the Internet over this development, claiming that JYP threw Jaebeom under the bus.

As of now, 2PM chugs along without Jaebeom, releasing a new album. In November, JYP appeared on a TV show indicating that he is considering Jaebeom’s return.

So there is the summary. Now, what does the Korean think about all this?

The Korean thinks that Jaebeom is a fucking retard. It is hardly a secret that Koreans are rather nationalistic, and some of them are prone to complete overreaction at any perceived slight against their nation. It should also be very clear that if you are a star, you have no privacy. Your MySpace page will be made public sooner or later. If Jaebeom did not know that when he was 18, he should have known by the time when he was 22. There is no excuse.

This is a different case from other cases of swift, harsh judgments on the Internet driving celebrities into a corner, for example like Choi Jin-sil. In case of Choi, the rumors on the Internet were baseless lies. In case of Jaebeom, the possible implications of his own words on the Internet were very clear. The Korean has no sympathy for him. Worse has happened to better people.

We still miss you very much.

Having said that, this episode is indeed very interesting because it is an excellent illustration of a particular characteristic of a Korean society that often baffles the outsiders – its interconnectedness. Korea is an extremely interconnected society. Put differently, everyone knows everyone in Korea. (Or more accurately, in Korea, everyone knows at least someone who knows another, leading to knowing everyone.) And by “everyone”, the Korean truly means everyone – including the biggest stars and celebrities.

Often this is described as Korea’s being small, but it is more than that. Compared to Americans, Koreans build a much denser social network over their lives through school, work, hometown and neighborhood. Also, Korea itself is literally denser than America – anything and anyone that matter are located in Seoul, a 12-million people gigapolis. On top of that, Korea is unquestionably the most wired country in the world. Internet works on incredible speed. (What is now advertised as Verizon FiOS has been available in Korea for the last 10 years.) Cell phones work everywhere, including in the subways.

There are many practical implications of this, which will be discussed over other posts as well. But one of the major implications is that in Korea, the distance between the media/Internet and the real world is very, very small.

Contrast America. Take Britney Spears, for example. There is no doubt that she lives in a fish bowl of sorts in America. Paparazzis follow her around everywhere. Any small detail of her life gets publicly exposed on Perez Hilton and TMZ. But as bad as her life is in America, few Americans can reach her in a meaningful way, because Spears is physically removed from most Americans. Few people know Spears personally, nor do they know anyone who knows Spears personally. Her career as a celebrity might suffer, but she can more or less go on living her life.

Not so in Korea. If there is a celebrity, there are already a lot of people who know that celebrity personally. There are even more people who know someone who has a personal relationship with that celebrity. (Heck, the Korean himself can get the phone numbers of a number of celebrities right now by using less than 5 phone calls/emails, and he has been out of the country for 12 years! The Korean even played basketball once with JYP in New York. He had a nice jump shot.) And they all live right around one another, and they are constantly chattering through the world’s fastest Internet and the world’s most extensive cell phone network. One intriguing move, and the eye of the public turns to that celebrity like the Eye over Minas Morgul.

Did anyone see my contact lens?

This is not always bad. For example, when Moon Geun-Yeong was revealed as the anonymous donor who donated around $800,000 over six years, the entire Korea went into a swoon over her commendable act, as the positive opinion of her multiplied quickly over the Internet. The story of her charity was justifiably hyped, which prompted more Koreans to care about charity and donations.

But when things go wrong, the power of the Eye is absolutely terrifying – particularly when it is aimed against ordinary people who never signed up for public scrutiny like celebrities did. The most infamous example is the Dog Poop Girl in 2005. A college student refused to clean up after her dog in a subway car, and another commuter took a picture of her (and her dog) with a cell phone camera. Within days of the picture being circulated on the Internet, everything about her became public – name, picture, address, school (current and former,) websites that she frequents, any comments that she left on the Internet, even where she is right now as “sightings” were reported.

This makes a celebrity’s life in Korea more difficult as well. For example in 2008, comedienne Jeong Seon-Hee made a remark that can be considered disparaging towards the Mad Cow Protestors. The Mad Cow Protestors, also organized over the Internet, began a boycott against Jeong, as well as against the business run by Jeong’s husband, a former actor named Ahn Jae-Hwan. Ahn’s cosmetics business was shut down, and did not do the same business after it re-opened. (Although the complete picture indicates that Ahn probably was not such a good businessman to begin with, as he was vastly overextended in multiple businesses that did not do very well at all.) The loss of income from his wife as well as from his business led to a financial ruin, which prompted Ahn to commit suicide.

But again, by September of 2009, the consequences for a celebrity who pisses off his fan base should have been pretty clear to anyone. Jaebeom is still an idiot for allowing this to happen. Jaebeom is actually lucky, because his sentence was not hell but a purgatory. The Korean society now has had the time to reflect the excesses of its Internet culture, and is coming around to realize that it is being too harsh on individuals for understandable mistakes that individuals are capable of making. This enabled JYP to bring up the possibility of Jaebeom’s return within two months without causing another riot on the Internet. He will be back in K-pop scene sooner or later.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com.

Jesus Loves Koreans

Dear Korean,

Why are Koreans so devoutly Christian, more so than other Asian cultures? Just about every Christian club on my university campus is run by Korean students. Did Korea have a lot of missionaries in the past?

Curious Chinese Chick

Dear CCC,

The first thing that the Korean thought was that maybe CCC was a play on word for CCCP, Chinese Central Communist Party. Remember readers, clever pen name gets a bonus point from the Korean!

Onto the question. Like always, there are two sides we must look at: Koreans in Korea and Korean Americans. Let's look at Koreans in Korea first.

Although it may not seem that way, the history of Christianity in Korea is over 200 years. The first Catholic church in Korea was set up in 1784, and the first Protestant church in Korea was established in 1866. Protestant missionaries were quite influential in 19th century Korea, setting up schools and hospitals that would later become the premier institutions of the country. (For example, Yonsei and Ewha Universities, as well as Yonsei Severance Hospital.)

Christianity began on the same path with respect to East Asian countries (Korea, China, Japan), but the result was quite different for each country because of their particular histories. China, obviously, was communized, and communists don't care for religions. (Karl Marx said religion was opium of the people; CCCP must not have read that passage all that carefully, since Chinese people love opium. They fought a war for it!) Christianity reached Japan much earlier, but it was always seen as a foreign religion, and not too many people caught on. When Japanese nationalism was on the rise, all things foreign were vigorously persecuted, including Christians. (One of Japan's famous treasure-hunting stories involve the hidden treasures, like golden crosses and holy paintings, of kakure kirishitan, the hidden Christians.)

But after an initial period of persecution, Korean Christians did not really have any impediments to proselytizing. It also helped that in the early days, Christian missionaries were not simply the bringers of a new religion, but the bringers of new modernity as well. Many of them brought books on modern science such as astronomy, mathematics or medicine. American missionary Horatio Allen served as the doctor for the Emperor Gojong, for example. In other words, Christianity was associated with cutting-edge technology, which made it even more popular among Koreans.

As a result, currently roughly 4 percent (very rough guess, since no one knows for sure) of Chinese are Christians. About 1 percent of Japanese are Christians. Koreans? Whopping 25 percent, with roughly 16.5 percent Protestants and 8.5 percent Catholics.

But Korean Americans add onto this already (relatively) high ratio, for many reasons.

First, one criterion for being allowed to immigrate is if you're a refugee for political, religious, or other reasons. During the 1960s (which was when Korean immigration to America began in earnest), when Korea was under military dictatorship, many Korean Christians were involved in Christian Socialism, which called for the end of exploiting workers and a democratic government. The Korean government obviously did not take these folks too kindly, and a good number of Christians fled to America and set up churches here.

(-EDIT: 1/20/07- The above explanation is not really accurate, so here is an addendum. Under immigration law, there is a separate category for religious workers to immigrate. The category is under a quota, but it certainly puts religious workers at an advantage to immigrate to America than, say, a doctor. As the Korean said above, there were already many pastors and priests in Korea, so plenty of them immigrated under the "religious worker" category. Once they were here, they set up churches. The Christian Socialism movement certainly existed, but the number of Christian Socialists immigrating to the U.S. was a pittance compared to regular pastors and priests.)

Second, another criterion for being allowed to immigrate is if you have a family member in the U.S. In other words, once a certain number of Koreans were here, the next wave of Korean immigrants were the family members of the first group. More Christians!

Third (and probably the most important reason), since churches became where Koreans congregate, even non-Christian Koreans had to be involved with a church somehow, or they would not know any other Korean. Remember that immigrant life is full of hazard; even the most ordinary problem could be insolvable for an immigrant. Korean churches, in effect, became Korean community centers, which helped recent immigrants deal with those problems. This function of Korean churches is going very strong, and it puts Korean immigrants who are Christians at a distinctive advantage.

For example, one day (about a year into the Korean Family's life in America,) the Korean's house flooded because the toilet backed up, and the carpet got completely wet. The Korean Mother spoke about this at her church, and a church member who was a carpet cleaner brought the proper equipment to get the water out. That was the first time the Korean Family ever had to deal with this kind of problem. (Being from Korea, the Korean Family always had hardwood floors.) If the Korean Mother did not go to church, the Korean Family would have been sitting on wet carpet for days, since no one in the Korean Family ever even heard of such a machine that cleans out water from carpet.

Fourth, remember that thing about Korean Americans out-white-ing white people that the Korean always talks about? Here is another example of that. Like it or not, there are a ton of Christians in America. If you are a minority living in a racist society, being able to say "I believe in the same god as you" to the majority race is a huge advantage.

(Disclaimer: The Korean believes that, on a relative scale, America is actually the least racist country in the world. The reason why the Korean thinks so will take up another entry, so the Korean won't get into it now unless there is a question about it. But on an absolute scale, American society is still pretty racist.)

This wave of Korean Christians is even stronger on the second generation, because these are the kids who began going to church when they were young. Tobacco companies had the right idea all along - you gotta get'em when they're young. So there you have it, Communist Chinese Chica.

Earthquake in IT?

Dear Korean,

Why do Koreans refer to Haiti as 아이티 (A-ee-ti)? My understanding is that the Haitian pronunciation contains an "H" sound. I imagine it would have been easy to replace the '아' with a '하'. Is it simply a matter of a single individual's (perhaps someone in the media) pronunciation mistake carrying over to an entire nation? I believe there are other instances of inexplicable pronunciation modifications, but this one seems particularly timely. Of course, I may be wrong about the native pronunciation. I don't believe there's an H sound in French. Is Aiti the correct pronunciation? Is it the English-speaking world that has it all wrong?

Eric M.

Dear Eric,

It is indeed the English-speaking world that has it all wrong. Check out this video of an IMF representative pledging support to Haiti in French.

No "H" to be found in Haiti -- the man pronounces like he is saying "IT".

And you are correct that Koreans refer to Haiti as "A-ee-tee". For example, at this link, you can see the news of an NGO called "Good Neighbors" delivering supplies to people of "아이티".

What comes into play here is Rule of Foreign Words Transliteration established by the National Institute of the Korean Language (국립국어원). Just like L'Academie francaise, NIKL governs all things related to Korean language, including how words that did not originate from Korea are supposed to be written. The overarching principle of the rule is to transliterate the words as they are pronounced in their language. Specifically, the Rule of Transliteration provides a chart that matches up the International Phonetic Alphabet to Korean characters, with more detailed rules in different languages such as English, Spanish, Japanese, French, etc.

The Korean likes this rule because it shows respect. Although Korean language sometimes has a separate name for a famous city in a foreign country -- for example, Sang-Hae (상해) for Shanghai (상하이) or  Dong-Kyeong (동경) for Tokyo (도쿄) -- under this rule, Koreans are supposed to write them as 상하이 and 도쿄, not as 상해 or 동경. (In contrast, English-speakers have no qualms for calling Munchen as "Munich" or Praha as "Prague".) Calling a different country/culture with the name that they gave to themselves shows a lot more respect than calling with the name that we came up for them.

But it must be noted that, despite the good intentions, this rule is really hit-or-miss in practice. Because of some arbitrary elements in the rules, Korean transliteration of an English-based word is often unrecognizable, even accounting for the fact that certain sounds in English do not exist in Korean. This is particularly worse for American English pronunciation, because NIKL apparently based its rule on British English -- you know, where English came from originally. The result is that even though there may be better ways to transliterate things in Korean, following the rule gives out the worse transliteration.

For example, one such arbitrary rule is that you cannot use ㄲ, ㄸ, ㅃ, ㅆ, ㅉ in transliteration, but use ㅋ, ㅌ, ㅍ, ㅅ, ㅊ if necessary. Another rule is that when p, t, k is followed by a consonant, the Korean vowel ㅡ needs to be attached to p, t, k. So the word "sickness" is transliterated as 시크니스 under the rule, while 씩니스 would be much closer to the actual pronunciation. Another arbitrary rule is that [ou] in the International Phonetic Alphabet should be transliterated with 오 ("o"). Under this rule, the word "boat" is transliterated as 보트, while 보우트 might be closer to the actual pronunciation.

From the Guardian (UK)

At any rate, this is not important. What's important is what is happening in Haiti. Did you donate? It's fast and easy: text HAITI to 90999, and you can donate $10 to the Red Cross in the relief effort.

-EDIT 1/25/2010- To complement the Korean's near-total ignorance of French, David from Ask a Frenchman! came to the rescue. Here is the Frenchman's comment:

Just one detail, the guy is not just "an IMF representative" but he is Dominique Strauss-Kahn, the current Director of the IMF, former Minister of Finances (1997-2002) and Minister of Industry (1991-1993) in the French government, and possibly future French President (in the current polls he'd win if the elections were these days).

Concerning Haiti, the name is originally a Taino name meaning "Mountain in the Sea" or something like that and it didn't have a "H" in its pronunciation, the H appeared when it was first written (by the French) but keep in mind that in French, H is never pronounced (only in "ch" pronounced like "sh" in English). Thus, the original, and subsequent French pronunciation (French still being the official language of Haiti -with Haitian Créole) is something like "A.E.T" in English (that's what Strauss-Kahn says in the video, although it could sound like "IT".

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com.

Korean Drama Queen

Thanks to reader Shirley, here is a smattering of questions about what goes on in Korean dramas.

Lest there should be any misunderstanding, the Korean FUCKING DETESTS KOREAN DRAMAS. The Korean hates the inanely twisted plot lines; identical faces enabled by plastic surgery; sub-par acting; and so many other reasons. The Korean will never understand people’s obsession with them. Never. Not ever.

But the Korean promised to answer any question, and he is a man of his word. So here it goes.

Dear Korean,

I have several questions regarding Korean family rules, legal matters and behaviors . . .

Regarding marriage:

Regarding the Korean TV Show, Daughters-In-Law why is the Yi family up in arms over Yi Boknam's relationship with Inu who is Boknam's brother-in-law by marriage? Is dating taboo between in-laws in Korea: i.e., especially when Boknam's brother, Yi Boksu married Inu's sister, Minji?

I just do not understand what the fuss is about between two Korean people not related by blood, but only related by marriage. Why do Korean families get heart attacks over this type of relationship and why is this considered unacceptable marriage?

To be sure, dating in-law is certainly not against Korean law, nor is it necessarily against Korean custom. There is in fact a historical precedent, when King Taejong of Shilla Dynasty was married to a sister of Gim Yushin, his lord chamberlain. In turn, Gim Yushin married Taejong’s sister, i.e. his sister-in-law. However, for most older (=very conservative) Koreans, relation by marriage is relation nonetheless. The in-laws have a certain obligation of respect toward each other, and a romantic relationship definitely flies in the face of that obligation.

But the drama (like all Korean dramas) probably overstated the conflict. A quick Internet search on the topic reveals that in this day and age, Korean people do not really care whether someone dates his or her in-law.

Why is it so vulgar or uncouth to show affection to your spouse such as kissing your spouse good-bye at the front door outside the bedroom as in the TV Show, Likeable Or Not?

Traditionally for male Koreans under 50, any show of affection is vulgar. It compromises the male authority to put himself in a position to be dictated by the actions of a subordinate, namely women and children. Korean culture apologists would say love is implied, without the physical gesture. The Korean’s opinion is that there was in fact little love in a traditional Korean marriage.

Although such is no longer the case in modern Korea, kissing is still considered a bit too racy to be done in public. However, this is changing very rapidly, and you can very easily see younger married couple exchanging pecks at the front door.

Why do Kings in the TV Show, Six Martyred Ministers get to choose their own spouses through a courtesan line-up when a typical Korean family tradition rules the parents must choose the spouse for their sons and daughters? Is a King above the Korean traditional custom alleviating the need for the Mother Queen to choose the King's spouse?

Are you kidding? He is the king! He is the living dragon! The king gets to do anything he damn well pleases, and that includes defying his parents. Also, the rule that parents choose their children’s spouses is not strictly enforced, not even in the most traditional times in Korea. It is more of a trend than a rule.

(By the way, Six Martyred Ministers was the first TV series in which TV studios from North Korea and South Korea collaborated.)

Is it against Korean Law to date or see a married individual on a constant basis despite the fact the other individual had no prior knowledge the person whom they were dating is married?

No. However, it would be against the law for the married person to have a sexual relationship with a person other than the spouse. Korean laws of adultery are arcane and complex. Therefore, it is the favorite weapon of cuckold husbands and jilted wives, who do not hesitate to exaggerate and lie about the reach of the law. The adultery law itself is a subject of a heated debate; there are currently three pending cases in the Constitutional Court of Korea asking to declare the law unconstitutional.

Regarding family registry documentation:

In the TV Show, Ajumma the divorced husband goes to the marriage clerk's office with both his officiating stamp and his ex-wife's stamp to enter into remarrying his ex-wife. Why isn't it necessary for both parties to be physically present in Korea when officiating marriage documentation before the marriage clerk?

Also, while the ex-husband is at the marriage clerk's office, why at the last second is the ex-wife notified by phone about the re-marriage certificate when the ex-wife should have been present initially? Why is a verbal phone call accepted by the marriage clerk accepting or declining the remarriage certificate as legally acceptable documentation?

The key is the “officiating stamp”. Instead of a signature, Koreans use an officiating stamp to show the legal effect of a document. The stamp is usually a person’s name in calligraphic Chinese characters. Each Korean adult MUST have an officiating stamp, and the shape of each stamp is filed in the government records.

For many legal instruments in Korea, the presence of the person is not required, because each person is assumed to have an exclusive control over his or her officiating stamp. In other words, your officiating stamp is a portable power-of-attorney; you are supposed to guard it with extreme care. In the Korean Parents’ case, the stamp is securely placed in the Bag-To-Be-Taken-Out-First-In-Case-Of-A-Fire.

Of course, it is entirely possible for someone to steal the stamp and misuse it. Legal actions are required to rectify the damage in such a case. It’s not much different from being on the hook for a loan because someone forged your signature.

Whereas in Happy Woman why isn't both mother and father present during family registry documentation registration at the clerk's office when adding or removing a child from a family registry?

That part is just incorrect. Adding or removing a child from family registry requires litigation before the court; it cannot be done at the clerk’s office.

Is it legal in Korean Law for a grandparent to abscond a grandchild living with the mother without legal documentation and force the child to live with the grandparents?

Yes. If there is no documentation, technically the birth mother has no legal relation to the child. Then the child belongs to the next of kin, which may be his or her grandparents. Of course, under the current system of family registration, the mother would always have documentation; if she does not, creating documentation is a simple matter.

However, in the bad old days when women could not be a “head of household” for family registration purposes, the following scenario would force the woman into a legal non-relation with her child:

Father has an illegitimate Child with Mother. Child is registered under Father’s registry; however, Mother raises Child, having little contact with Father. Father dies. (Paternal) Grandfather assumes Father’s registry, thereby assuming the relation with Child. In this case, Mother has no legal relation with Child, and Grandfather is Child’s next-of-kin. Therefore, Grandfather would be the only legal guardian for Child.

But please note that this no longer happens. Mother is now allowed to have her own registry; she would simply put Child under her registry, and no more complications.

Asking for forgiveness:

Is it mandatory to fervently rub your hands together asking for forgiveness? What happens if you do not make this physically dramatic gesture when begging for forgiveness? Why is it not necessary to rub your hands together when you say you are sorry? What is the difference between sorry and asking for forgiveness? Should being sorry be the same as asking for forgiveness?

No, it is not mandatory. It is an old gesture that is not really done anymore. But far be it from Korean dramas to conform to reality. Also, saying sorry and asking for forgiveness are two different things in Korean language – the difference is a matter of degree. You say sorry when you stepped on someone’s foot; you beg for forgiveness if you damaged someone’s valuable heirloom or worse. In the latter instance, you literally beg by rubbing your hands. But again, such gesture is rarely done in modern Korea, except in drastic and dramatic situations.

Grandmother as Matriarch in Family:

Daughters-In-Law depicts the Yi's Grandmother as the true head of the Yi household. Why is the Grandmother the matriarch of the family rather than the Grandmother's son, Yi Suggil, not the Patriarch of the Yi family? Why does the Grandmother have the last say in the Yi family and why is the entire Yi family fearful of Grandmother?

Shirley, it’s a goddamn drama. People always make the mistake of attributing culture to an exotic population’s every behavior, when in fact they act mostly according to the same principles that govern our own behavior. Family power structure entirely depends on the particular family. The cultural norms of favoring males and old people are valid forms of power within a Korean family, but so is money and social status.

For example, the Korean Father’s family consists of father (before he passed last year at the age of 92), mother, three sons and two daughters, with the Korean Father being the middle son. If custom is followed strictly, father would have the most say, then the first-born son, second son, third son, followed by mother, then daughters.

However, because father (=the Korean Grandfather) was a wastrel who pissed his life away, he had almost no say in the family matters. The Korean Father, the youngest son, and the youngest daughter had the most power in the family because they turned out to be the wealthiest. In fact, this situation would have made a fine Korean drama, because there was a constant struggle between father and the oldest son (who had to support his parents according to his duty) on one side and younger sons and daughter on the other side.

Discipline:

Why is there an excessive amount of yelling and hitting in the families I see on Korean TV Shows? Is hitting and yelling considered normal in a Korean family's behavior?

No and yes. One big reason why the Korean hates Korean dramas is because there is excessive yelling that hurts the Korean’s ears. The amount of yelling and hitting shown in Korean dramas is usually reserved for a truly dysfunctional family – but there is no shortage of yelling and hitting within any dysfunctional family in the world.

In addition, this is what the Korean previously wrote about yelling in Korean dramas:

“Characters in Korean dramas yell for the same reason characters in Bollywood movies sing - it's a cheap way to convey emotional content without relying on sophisticated dialogues or acting. Not that all Korean producers and actors are incapable of using such things: many Korean movies excel in conveying emotion through the subtlest subtleties. But Korean dramas appeal to, shall we say, a less sophisticated audience. The Korean has a feeling that this may change at some point: there has got to be a market in Korea for artfully made television series, like Six Feet Under or Friday Night Lights in the U.S. But as long as there will be ajummas who sit on their asses doing nothing but watching dramas in Korea, there will be yelling in Korean dramas.”

However, there is definitely more yelling and hitting in an average Korean family compared to an average American family, although the amount of yelling and hitting hardly reaches the level displayed in Korean dramas.

Why more yelling? Contrary to popular images of calm, stoic Asians, Koreans are very liberal with their emotion, especially when it comes to excitement and anger. Both emotions are conducive to a lot of yelling. Also, physical discipline is commonplace in Korea, from very young age. So it is very normal see physical discipline extend to older age. In fact, the Korean thinks Americans are made soft because they shy away from physical discipline.

Are we done now? Thank God. Stupid dramas.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com