Time to Come Clean About my other Blog

(FYI, see the same post at Roboseyo here.)

OK, readers. It's time to be a bit more honest over here.

It all started with a bit of an experiment, playing around with anonymity on the Internet... but I really feel like the lie has gotten too big.

See, it started back in 2008, when The Korean from Ask A Korean! (now, with a festive exclamation point!) and I got together to do the "Why Do Expats Complain" series that really put Roboseyo on the map, back when nobody read my blog.

Well, that went so well, that The Korean and I (I even know his real name) have become quite good friends through e-mail correspondence, Skype, and stuff. I even chat online with The Korean Fiance when he's out. (She's really sweet, and hella smart.)

But here's the interesting thing... during the "Expats Complain" thing, one person e-mailed us and said that it seemed like there was an echo going on -- that our writing styles were so similar he suspected we were the same writer. That was amusing to us both, but you know, it's the internet... anything's possible.

So TK and I played around with that idea for a while: it became a running joke between us, and I'd put a phrase into a post that he'd recognize as similar to his style, or he'd do the same to me; nobody else would have noticed if they weren't looking for it, like we were. But then, in December, he asked me if I'd be interested in submitting a post for his site, and seeing if anybody'd spot that it wasn't him writing. So I wrote "Fan Death is Real" in January '09 -- I've always been a fan death believer myself, though deeply closeted, for the sake of the scorn people pour on believers, but I figured everybody's be shaking their heads so much with the "typical of a Korean" prejudice that nobody'd notice it wasn't The Korean's usual writing style.

Well, nobody even noticed a bit -- they just got into the back and forth on the comments, and barely paid attention to the different choice in adjectives.

Emboldened, TK sent me another shocker of a headline: you might not have noticed, but the "I want to Kill the President" post that went up on Roboseyo in March 2009, and discussed free speech in Korea, wasn't written by me at all. Did you notice? I don't know that anybody did.

So it worked... nothing else came of it, and things went on as normal, until a few months ago.

As you know, The Korean got engaged a little while ago, which, along with a promotion at work, left him with no free time to maintain Ask A Korean! at the standard he preferred. So he asked me to step in...

At first I was nervous about taking the extra work on, but honestly, the challenge of writing from a different perspective was so refreshing, I feel like it's been polishing my craft as a writer, so I've been writing both Ask A Korean! and Roboseyo since late January (switching from hotmail to gmail was so that I could manage the mail on an account separate from a few of The Korean's other important, connected online accounts), on the understanding that later, when I'm getting ready for my wedding, he'll take over Roboseyo for a little while.

However, the wheel of fate would turn yet again. Turns out The Korean's promotion led to another, bigger promotion (good for him, I suppose) and this means that, while he has enough time to keep commenting on The Marmot's Hole (that was never me), he's ready to set blogging aside for good.

Given that Ask A Korean! is more popular than Roboseyo ever was by an order of magnitude, and that the question and answer format is so simple the posts practically write themselves, and maintaining two popular, individual blogs is just a little too much, especially now that Hub of Sparkle's back online, I've decided to quit Roboseyo, and devote all my blogging time to Ask A Korean!.

I hope you don't mind, readers: I've really enjoyed doing the Roboseyo blog, and there might still be posts here, more aimed at my close friends and family (more stuff about the rash on my knee than the rash of celebrity suicides: personal, not social commentary), but you'll be happy to know that I'll still be blogging, if you just take the time to switch your bookmarks to Ask A Korean!. To avoid too much confusion, I'll change my own moniker to "The New Korean," to avoid being mistaken with the old Korean. And still feel free to send in translation requests: I have some friends I can farm it out to.

Finally: it's been a great ride. I'm grateful to my readers and especially all the people who left comments and wrote e-mails. I hope for your support at Ask A Korean! as well: Korea remains an inexhaustible topic, and Koreans are an inexhaustibly fascinating people, and i look forward to keeping up the exploration.

All the best, dear readers.

Roboseyo (The New Korean)

p.s. Check out my new "About Me" section here at AAK!

-EDIT 4/2/2010- Hope everyone enjoyed the joke. And a massive thank you to Roboseyo, who played the part superbly.

2PM, Jaebeom, and Korea's Internet Culture

Dear Korean,

You may recall about two months ago that a kid named Jaebeom from the boy group 2PM (managed by JYP) was basically run out of Korea for some "anti-Korean" comments he made on his MySpace page a few years ago. What's your take on this, especially surrounding the jingoistic knee-jerk reaction to his comments, as well as the equally ridiculous movement to boycott JYP for not "protecting" Jaebeom?

Simon


Dear Simon,

The Korean will first state this for the record: the Korean loathes K-pop. Most Korean music worth listening to was produced before the 21st century. As of now, the Korean can count with one hand the Korean singers/bands that are worth listening to. Everyone else is a pretty, soulless shell mass-produced by production companies. Watching them or listening to most K-pop stars makes you stupider. There is nothing redeeming about them. They are the musical equivalent of McDonald’s French fries.

If you are interested in contemporary Korean music, try this guy.
His name is Jang Gi-Ha (장기하). Absolutely fantastic.

But the phenomenon that you described is indeed interesting, so here is the Korean’s take on it. But first, for those who are unfamiliar with the context, the Korean will provide an executive summary:

JYP, or Jin-Yeong Park, is one of the most successful talent developer/managers in the K-pop scene. (Park himself was a relatively successful pop star when he was younger.) The products of JYP Entertainment include such luminaries of K-pop such as Rain and Wonder Girls. JYP frequently mines talent out of both Koreans and Korean Americans.

One of JYP’s most recent creations was 2PM, a boy group with seven members that debuted in 2008. (Hilariously, JYP simultaneously created 2AM, a four-member boy group who sing ballads rather than the beat-heavy dance numbers that 2PM do.) Jaebeom, a third-generation Korean American from Seattle, was one of the members. Jaebeom joined JYP Entertainment in 2005 at age 18, and was trained in Korea prior to his debut as a 2PM member. 2PM was very successful, rising to the top of the charts by early 2009.

2PM. Barf.

Trouble began for Jaebeom in September 2009, when his MySpace page that he kept between 2005 and 2007 became public. Particularly problematic was a correspondence from Jaebeom to his friend on Feb. 22, 2005, which said: “Korea is gay. I hate Koreans. I want to come back like no other.” (Quote is cleaned up for grammar and punctuation.) When the news broke, JYP initially defended Jaebeom, calling the posts “youthful mistakes.” Jaebeom also issued an apology. Other members of 2PM stood by him, expressing support on their own homepages.

But the reaction of K-pop fans, particularly over the Internet, was swift and harsh. Massive amount of hate mail and blog posts soon overwhelmed the popular Korean websites such as Naver and Daum (similar to Yahoo and Google.) Petitions calling for 2PM’s disbandment circulated. JYP suspended 2PM’s appearances. Jaebeom then quit 2PM and returned to Seattle, four days after the news broke. Counter-protest from Jaebeom’s fans also broke out on the Internet over this development, claiming that JYP threw Jaebeom under the bus.

As of now, 2PM chugs along without Jaebeom, releasing a new album. In November, JYP appeared on a TV show indicating that he is considering Jaebeom’s return.

So there is the summary. Now, what does the Korean think about all this?

The Korean thinks that Jaebeom is a fucking retard. It is hardly a secret that Koreans are rather nationalistic, and some of them are prone to complete overreaction at any perceived slight against their nation. It should also be very clear that if you are a star, you have no privacy. Your MySpace page will be made public sooner or later. If Jaebeom did not know that when he was 18, he should have known by the time when he was 22. There is no excuse.

This is a different case from other cases of swift, harsh judgments on the Internet driving celebrities into a corner, for example like Choi Jin-sil. In case of Choi, the rumors on the Internet were baseless lies. In case of Jaebeom, the possible implications of his own words on the Internet were very clear. The Korean has no sympathy for him. Worse has happened to better people.

We still miss you very much.

Having said that, this episode is indeed very interesting because it is an excellent illustration of a particular characteristic of a Korean society that often baffles the outsiders – its interconnectedness. Korea is an extremely interconnected society. Put differently, everyone knows everyone in Korea. (Or more accurately, in Korea, everyone knows at least someone who knows another, leading to knowing everyone.) And by “everyone”, the Korean truly means everyone – including the biggest stars and celebrities.

Often this is described as Korea’s being small, but it is more than that. Compared to Americans, Koreans build a much denser social network over their lives through school, work, hometown and neighborhood. Also, Korea itself is literally denser than America – anything and anyone that matter are located in Seoul, a 12-million people gigapolis. On top of that, Korea is unquestionably the most wired country in the world. Internet works on incredible speed. (What is now advertised as Verizon FiOS has been available in Korea for the last 10 years.) Cell phones work everywhere, including in the subways.

There are many practical implications of this, which will be discussed over other posts as well. But one of the major implications is that in Korea, the distance between the media/Internet and the real world is very, very small.

Contrast America. Take Britney Spears, for example. There is no doubt that she lives in a fish bowl of sorts in America. Paparazzis follow her around everywhere. Any small detail of her life gets publicly exposed on Perez Hilton and TMZ. But as bad as her life is in America, few Americans can reach her in a meaningful way, because Spears is physically removed from most Americans. Few people know Spears personally, nor do they know anyone who knows Spears personally. Her career as a celebrity might suffer, but she can more or less go on living her life.

Not so in Korea. If there is a celebrity, there are already a lot of people who know that celebrity personally. There are even more people who know someone who has a personal relationship with that celebrity. (Heck, the Korean himself can get the phone numbers of a number of celebrities right now by using less than 5 phone calls/emails, and he has been out of the country for 12 years! The Korean even played basketball once with JYP in New York. He had a nice jump shot.) And they all live right around one another, and they are constantly chattering through the world’s fastest Internet and the world’s most extensive cell phone network. One intriguing move, and the eye of the public turns to that celebrity like the Eye over Minas Morgul.

Did anyone see my contact lens?

This is not always bad. For example, when Moon Geun-Yeong was revealed as the anonymous donor who donated around $800,000 over six years, the entire Korea went into a swoon over her commendable act, as the positive opinion of her multiplied quickly over the Internet. The story of her charity was justifiably hyped, which prompted more Koreans to care about charity and donations.

But when things go wrong, the power of the Eye is absolutely terrifying – particularly when it is aimed against ordinary people who never signed up for public scrutiny like celebrities did. The most infamous example is the Dog Poop Girl in 2005. A college student refused to clean up after her dog in a subway car, and another commuter took a picture of her (and her dog) with a cell phone camera. Within days of the picture being circulated on the Internet, everything about her became public – name, picture, address, school (current and former,) websites that she frequents, any comments that she left on the Internet, even where she is right now as “sightings” were reported.

This makes a celebrity’s life in Korea more difficult as well. For example in 2008, comedienne Jeong Seon-Hee made a remark that can be considered disparaging towards the Mad Cow Protestors. The Mad Cow Protestors, also organized over the Internet, began a boycott against Jeong, as well as against the business run by Jeong’s husband, a former actor named Ahn Jae-Hwan. Ahn’s cosmetics business was shut down, and did not do the same business after it re-opened. (Although the complete picture indicates that Ahn probably was not such a good businessman to begin with, as he was vastly overextended in multiple businesses that did not do very well at all.) The loss of income from his wife as well as from his business led to a financial ruin, which prompted Ahn to commit suicide.

But again, by September of 2009, the consequences for a celebrity who pisses off his fan base should have been pretty clear to anyone. Jaebeom is still an idiot for allowing this to happen. Jaebeom is actually lucky, because his sentence was not hell but a purgatory. The Korean society now has had the time to reflect the excesses of its Internet culture, and is coming around to realize that it is being too harsh on individuals for understandable mistakes that individuals are capable of making. This enabled JYP to bring up the possibility of Jaebeom’s return within two months without causing another riot on the Internet. He will be back in K-pop scene sooner or later.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com.

Jesus Loves Koreans

Dear Korean,

Why are Koreans so devoutly Christian, more so than other Asian cultures? Just about every Christian club on my university campus is run by Korean students. Did Korea have a lot of missionaries in the past?

Curious Chinese Chick

Dear CCC,

The first thing that the Korean thought was that maybe CCC was a play on word for CCCP, Chinese Central Communist Party. Remember readers, clever pen name gets a bonus point from the Korean!

Onto the question. Like always, there are two sides we must look at: Koreans in Korea and Korean Americans. Let's look at Koreans in Korea first.

Although it may not seem that way, the history of Christianity in Korea is over 200 years. The first Catholic church in Korea was set up in 1784, and the first Protestant church in Korea was established in 1866. Protestant missionaries were quite influential in 19th century Korea, setting up schools and hospitals that would later become the premier institutions of the country. (For example, Yonsei and Ewha Universities, as well as Yonsei Severance Hospital.)

Christianity began on the same path with respect to East Asian countries (Korea, China, Japan), but the result was quite different for each country because of their particular histories. China, obviously, was communized, and communists don't care for religions. (Karl Marx said religion was opium of the people; CCCP must not have read that passage all that carefully, since Chinese people love opium. They fought a war for it!) Christianity reached Japan much earlier, but it was always seen as a foreign religion, and not too many people caught on. When Japanese nationalism was on the rise, all things foreign were vigorously persecuted, including Christians. (One of Japan's famous treasure-hunting stories involve the hidden treasures, like golden crosses and holy paintings, of kakure kirishitan, the hidden Christians.)

But after an initial period of persecution, Korean Christians did not really have any impediments to proselytizing. It also helped that in the early days, Christian missionaries were not simply the bringers of a new religion, but the bringers of new modernity as well. Many of them brought books on modern science such as astronomy, mathematics or medicine. American missionary Horatio Allen served as the doctor for the Emperor Gojong, for example. In other words, Christianity was associated with cutting-edge technology, which made it even more popular among Koreans.

As a result, currently roughly 4 percent (very rough guess, since no one knows for sure) of Chinese are Christians. About 1 percent of Japanese are Christians. Koreans? Whopping 25 percent, with roughly 16.5 percent Protestants and 8.5 percent Catholics.

But Korean Americans add onto this already (relatively) high ratio, for many reasons.

First, one criterion for being allowed to immigrate is if you're a refugee for political, religious, or other reasons. During the 1960s (which was when Korean immigration to America began in earnest), when Korea was under military dictatorship, many Korean Christians were involved in Christian Socialism, which called for the end of exploiting workers and a democratic government. The Korean government obviously did not take these folks too kindly, and a good number of Christians fled to America and set up churches here.

(-EDIT: 1/20/07- The above explanation is not really accurate, so here is an addendum. Under immigration law, there is a separate category for religious workers to immigrate. The category is under a quota, but it certainly puts religious workers at an advantage to immigrate to America than, say, a doctor. As the Korean said above, there were already many pastors and priests in Korea, so plenty of them immigrated under the "religious worker" category. Once they were here, they set up churches. The Christian Socialism movement certainly existed, but the number of Christian Socialists immigrating to the U.S. was a pittance compared to regular pastors and priests.)

Second, another criterion for being allowed to immigrate is if you have a family member in the U.S. In other words, once a certain number of Koreans were here, the next wave of Korean immigrants were the family members of the first group. More Christians!

Third (and probably the most important reason), since churches became where Koreans congregate, even non-Christian Koreans had to be involved with a church somehow, or they would not know any other Korean. Remember that immigrant life is full of hazard; even the most ordinary problem could be insolvable for an immigrant. Korean churches, in effect, became Korean community centers, which helped recent immigrants deal with those problems. This function of Korean churches is going very strong, and it puts Korean immigrants who are Christians at a distinctive advantage.

For example, one day (about a year into the Korean Family's life in America,) the Korean's house flooded because the toilet backed up, and the carpet got completely wet. The Korean Mother spoke about this at her church, and a church member who was a carpet cleaner brought the proper equipment to get the water out. That was the first time the Korean Family ever had to deal with this kind of problem. (Being from Korea, the Korean Family always had hardwood floors.) If the Korean Mother did not go to church, the Korean Family would have been sitting on wet carpet for days, since no one in the Korean Family ever even heard of such a machine that cleans out water from carpet.

Fourth, remember that thing about Korean Americans out-white-ing white people that the Korean always talks about? Here is another example of that. Like it or not, there are a ton of Christians in America. If you are a minority living in a racist society, being able to say "I believe in the same god as you" to the majority race is a huge advantage.

(Disclaimer: The Korean believes that, on a relative scale, America is actually the least racist country in the world. The reason why the Korean thinks so will take up another entry, so the Korean won't get into it now unless there is a question about it. But on an absolute scale, American society is still pretty racist.)

This wave of Korean Christians is even stronger on the second generation, because these are the kids who began going to church when they were young. Tobacco companies had the right idea all along - you gotta get'em when they're young. So there you have it, Communist Chinese Chica.

Earthquake in IT?

Dear Korean,

Why do Koreans refer to Haiti as 아이티 (A-ee-ti)? My understanding is that the Haitian pronunciation contains an "H" sound. I imagine it would have been easy to replace the '아' with a '하'. Is it simply a matter of a single individual's (perhaps someone in the media) pronunciation mistake carrying over to an entire nation? I believe there are other instances of inexplicable pronunciation modifications, but this one seems particularly timely. Of course, I may be wrong about the native pronunciation. I don't believe there's an H sound in French. Is Aiti the correct pronunciation? Is it the English-speaking world that has it all wrong?

Eric M.

Dear Eric,

It is indeed the English-speaking world that has it all wrong. Check out this video of an IMF representative pledging support to Haiti in French.

No "H" to be found in Haiti -- the man pronounces like he is saying "IT".

And you are correct that Koreans refer to Haiti as "A-ee-tee". For example, at this link, you can see the news of an NGO called "Good Neighbors" delivering supplies to people of "아이티".

What comes into play here is Rule of Foreign Words Transliteration established by the National Institute of the Korean Language (국립국어원). Just like L'Academie francaise, NIKL governs all things related to Korean language, including how words that did not originate from Korea are supposed to be written. The overarching principle of the rule is to transliterate the words as they are pronounced in their language. Specifically, the Rule of Transliteration provides a chart that matches up the International Phonetic Alphabet to Korean characters, with more detailed rules in different languages such as English, Spanish, Japanese, French, etc.

The Korean likes this rule because it shows respect. Although Korean language sometimes has a separate name for a famous city in a foreign country -- for example, Sang-Hae (상해) for Shanghai (상하이) or  Dong-Kyeong (동경) for Tokyo (도쿄) -- under this rule, Koreans are supposed to write them as 상하이 and 도쿄, not as 상해 or 동경. (In contrast, English-speakers have no qualms for calling Munchen as "Munich" or Praha as "Prague".) Calling a different country/culture with the name that they gave to themselves shows a lot more respect than calling with the name that we came up for them.

But it must be noted that, despite the good intentions, this rule is really hit-or-miss in practice. Because of some arbitrary elements in the rules, Korean transliteration of an English-based word is often unrecognizable, even accounting for the fact that certain sounds in English do not exist in Korean. This is particularly worse for American English pronunciation, because NIKL apparently based its rule on British English -- you know, where English came from originally. The result is that even though there may be better ways to transliterate things in Korean, following the rule gives out the worse transliteration.

For example, one such arbitrary rule is that you cannot use ㄲ, ㄸ, ㅃ, ㅆ, ㅉ in transliteration, but use ㅋ, ㅌ, ㅍ, ㅅ, ㅊ if necessary. Another rule is that when p, t, k is followed by a consonant, the Korean vowel ㅡ needs to be attached to p, t, k. So the word "sickness" is transliterated as 시크니스 under the rule, while 씩니스 would be much closer to the actual pronunciation. Another arbitrary rule is that [ou] in the International Phonetic Alphabet should be transliterated with 오 ("o"). Under this rule, the word "boat" is transliterated as 보트, while 보우트 might be closer to the actual pronunciation.

From the Guardian (UK)

At any rate, this is not important. What's important is what is happening in Haiti. Did you donate? It's fast and easy: text HAITI to 90999, and you can donate $10 to the Red Cross in the relief effort.

-EDIT 1/25/2010- To complement the Korean's near-total ignorance of French, David from Ask a Frenchman! came to the rescue. Here is the Frenchman's comment:

Just one detail, the guy is not just "an IMF representative" but he is Dominique Strauss-Kahn, the current Director of the IMF, former Minister of Finances (1997-2002) and Minister of Industry (1991-1993) in the French government, and possibly future French President (in the current polls he'd win if the elections were these days).

Concerning Haiti, the name is originally a Taino name meaning "Mountain in the Sea" or something like that and it didn't have a "H" in its pronunciation, the H appeared when it was first written (by the French) but keep in mind that in French, H is never pronounced (only in "ch" pronounced like "sh" in English). Thus, the original, and subsequent French pronunciation (French still being the official language of Haiti -with Haitian Créole) is something like "A.E.T" in English (that's what Strauss-Kahn says in the video, although it could sound like "IT".

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com.

Korean Drama Queen

Thanks to reader Shirley, here is a smattering of questions about what goes on in Korean dramas.

Lest there should be any misunderstanding, the Korean FUCKING DETESTS KOREAN DRAMAS. The Korean hates the inanely twisted plot lines; identical faces enabled by plastic surgery; sub-par acting; and so many other reasons. The Korean will never understand people’s obsession with them. Never. Not ever.

But the Korean promised to answer any question, and he is a man of his word. So here it goes.

Dear Korean,

I have several questions regarding Korean family rules, legal matters and behaviors . . .

Regarding marriage:

Regarding the Korean TV Show, Daughters-In-Law why is the Yi family up in arms over Yi Boknam's relationship with Inu who is Boknam's brother-in-law by marriage? Is dating taboo between in-laws in Korea: i.e., especially when Boknam's brother, Yi Boksu married Inu's sister, Minji?

I just do not understand what the fuss is about between two Korean people not related by blood, but only related by marriage. Why do Korean families get heart attacks over this type of relationship and why is this considered unacceptable marriage?

To be sure, dating in-law is certainly not against Korean law, nor is it necessarily against Korean custom. There is in fact a historical precedent, when King Taejong of Shilla Dynasty was married to a sister of Gim Yushin, his lord chamberlain. In turn, Gim Yushin married Taejong’s sister, i.e. his sister-in-law. However, for most older (=very conservative) Koreans, relation by marriage is relation nonetheless. The in-laws have a certain obligation of respect toward each other, and a romantic relationship definitely flies in the face of that obligation.

But the drama (like all Korean dramas) probably overstated the conflict. A quick Internet search on the topic reveals that in this day and age, Korean people do not really care whether someone dates his or her in-law.

Why is it so vulgar or uncouth to show affection to your spouse such as kissing your spouse good-bye at the front door outside the bedroom as in the TV Show, Likeable Or Not?

Traditionally for male Koreans under 50, any show of affection is vulgar. It compromises the male authority to put himself in a position to be dictated by the actions of a subordinate, namely women and children. Korean culture apologists would say love is implied, without the physical gesture. The Korean’s opinion is that there was in fact little love in a traditional Korean marriage.

Although such is no longer the case in modern Korea, kissing is still considered a bit too racy to be done in public. However, this is changing very rapidly, and you can very easily see younger married couple exchanging pecks at the front door.

Why do Kings in the TV Show, Six Martyred Ministers get to choose their own spouses through a courtesan line-up when a typical Korean family tradition rules the parents must choose the spouse for their sons and daughters? Is a King above the Korean traditional custom alleviating the need for the Mother Queen to choose the King's spouse?

Are you kidding? He is the king! He is the living dragon! The king gets to do anything he damn well pleases, and that includes defying his parents. Also, the rule that parents choose their children’s spouses is not strictly enforced, not even in the most traditional times in Korea. It is more of a trend than a rule.

(By the way, Six Martyred Ministers was the first TV series in which TV studios from North Korea and South Korea collaborated.)

Is it against Korean Law to date or see a married individual on a constant basis despite the fact the other individual had no prior knowledge the person whom they were dating is married?

No. However, it would be against the law for the married person to have a sexual relationship with a person other than the spouse. Korean laws of adultery are arcane and complex. Therefore, it is the favorite weapon of cuckold husbands and jilted wives, who do not hesitate to exaggerate and lie about the reach of the law. The adultery law itself is a subject of a heated debate; there are currently three pending cases in the Constitutional Court of Korea asking to declare the law unconstitutional.

Regarding family registry documentation:

In the TV Show, Ajumma the divorced husband goes to the marriage clerk's office with both his officiating stamp and his ex-wife's stamp to enter into remarrying his ex-wife. Why isn't it necessary for both parties to be physically present in Korea when officiating marriage documentation before the marriage clerk?

Also, while the ex-husband is at the marriage clerk's office, why at the last second is the ex-wife notified by phone about the re-marriage certificate when the ex-wife should have been present initially? Why is a verbal phone call accepted by the marriage clerk accepting or declining the remarriage certificate as legally acceptable documentation?

The key is the “officiating stamp”. Instead of a signature, Koreans use an officiating stamp to show the legal effect of a document. The stamp is usually a person’s name in calligraphic Chinese characters. Each Korean adult MUST have an officiating stamp, and the shape of each stamp is filed in the government records.

For many legal instruments in Korea, the presence of the person is not required, because each person is assumed to have an exclusive control over his or her officiating stamp. In other words, your officiating stamp is a portable power-of-attorney; you are supposed to guard it with extreme care. In the Korean Parents’ case, the stamp is securely placed in the Bag-To-Be-Taken-Out-First-In-Case-Of-A-Fire.

Of course, it is entirely possible for someone to steal the stamp and misuse it. Legal actions are required to rectify the damage in such a case. It’s not much different from being on the hook for a loan because someone forged your signature.

Whereas in Happy Woman why isn't both mother and father present during family registry documentation registration at the clerk's office when adding or removing a child from a family registry?

That part is just incorrect. Adding or removing a child from family registry requires litigation before the court; it cannot be done at the clerk’s office.

Is it legal in Korean Law for a grandparent to abscond a grandchild living with the mother without legal documentation and force the child to live with the grandparents?

Yes. If there is no documentation, technically the birth mother has no legal relation to the child. Then the child belongs to the next of kin, which may be his or her grandparents. Of course, under the current system of family registration, the mother would always have documentation; if she does not, creating documentation is a simple matter.

However, in the bad old days when women could not be a “head of household” for family registration purposes, the following scenario would force the woman into a legal non-relation with her child:

Father has an illegitimate Child with Mother. Child is registered under Father’s registry; however, Mother raises Child, having little contact with Father. Father dies. (Paternal) Grandfather assumes Father’s registry, thereby assuming the relation with Child. In this case, Mother has no legal relation with Child, and Grandfather is Child’s next-of-kin. Therefore, Grandfather would be the only legal guardian for Child.

But please note that this no longer happens. Mother is now allowed to have her own registry; she would simply put Child under her registry, and no more complications.

Asking for forgiveness:

Is it mandatory to fervently rub your hands together asking for forgiveness? What happens if you do not make this physically dramatic gesture when begging for forgiveness? Why is it not necessary to rub your hands together when you say you are sorry? What is the difference between sorry and asking for forgiveness? Should being sorry be the same as asking for forgiveness?

No, it is not mandatory. It is an old gesture that is not really done anymore. But far be it from Korean dramas to conform to reality. Also, saying sorry and asking for forgiveness are two different things in Korean language – the difference is a matter of degree. You say sorry when you stepped on someone’s foot; you beg for forgiveness if you damaged someone’s valuable heirloom or worse. In the latter instance, you literally beg by rubbing your hands. But again, such gesture is rarely done in modern Korea, except in drastic and dramatic situations.

Grandmother as Matriarch in Family:

Daughters-In-Law depicts the Yi's Grandmother as the true head of the Yi household. Why is the Grandmother the matriarch of the family rather than the Grandmother's son, Yi Suggil, not the Patriarch of the Yi family? Why does the Grandmother have the last say in the Yi family and why is the entire Yi family fearful of Grandmother?

Shirley, it’s a goddamn drama. People always make the mistake of attributing culture to an exotic population’s every behavior, when in fact they act mostly according to the same principles that govern our own behavior. Family power structure entirely depends on the particular family. The cultural norms of favoring males and old people are valid forms of power within a Korean family, but so is money and social status.

For example, the Korean Father’s family consists of father (before he passed last year at the age of 92), mother, three sons and two daughters, with the Korean Father being the middle son. If custom is followed strictly, father would have the most say, then the first-born son, second son, third son, followed by mother, then daughters.

However, because father (=the Korean Grandfather) was a wastrel who pissed his life away, he had almost no say in the family matters. The Korean Father, the youngest son, and the youngest daughter had the most power in the family because they turned out to be the wealthiest. In fact, this situation would have made a fine Korean drama, because there was a constant struggle between father and the oldest son (who had to support his parents according to his duty) on one side and younger sons and daughter on the other side.

Discipline:

Why is there an excessive amount of yelling and hitting in the families I see on Korean TV Shows? Is hitting and yelling considered normal in a Korean family's behavior?

No and yes. One big reason why the Korean hates Korean dramas is because there is excessive yelling that hurts the Korean’s ears. The amount of yelling and hitting shown in Korean dramas is usually reserved for a truly dysfunctional family – but there is no shortage of yelling and hitting within any dysfunctional family in the world.

In addition, this is what the Korean previously wrote about yelling in Korean dramas:

“Characters in Korean dramas yell for the same reason characters in Bollywood movies sing - it's a cheap way to convey emotional content without relying on sophisticated dialogues or acting. Not that all Korean producers and actors are incapable of using such things: many Korean movies excel in conveying emotion through the subtlest subtleties. But Korean dramas appeal to, shall we say, a less sophisticated audience. The Korean has a feeling that this may change at some point: there has got to be a market in Korea for artfully made television series, like Six Feet Under or Friday Night Lights in the U.S. But as long as there will be ajummas who sit on their asses doing nothing but watching dramas in Korea, there will be yelling in Korean dramas.”

However, there is definitely more yelling and hitting in an average Korean family compared to an average American family, although the amount of yelling and hitting hardly reaches the level displayed in Korean dramas.

Why more yelling? Contrary to popular images of calm, stoic Asians, Koreans are very liberal with their emotion, especially when it comes to excitement and anger. Both emotions are conducive to a lot of yelling. Also, physical discipline is commonplace in Korea, from very young age. So it is very normal see physical discipline extend to older age. In fact, the Korean thinks Americans are made soft because they shy away from physical discipline.

Are we done now? Thank God. Stupid dramas.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com

Ask a Korean! News: The Best Commentary on the North Korean Missile Launch

One of the Korean’s favorite blogs is Nambukstory, written by Mr. Joo Seong-Ha, reporter for Dong-A Ilbo, which is one of the largest dailies in Korea. Mr. Joo writes about many things, but his specialty is North Korea. If you know how to read Korean and care even a little bit about North Korea, please read his blog. His commentaries are always the most insightful, not simply because he is a very smart person. He was born and raised in North Korea, and graduated from Kim Il-Sung University. In other words, he was on track to be an elite officer of the North Korean regime. Instead, he escaped from North Korea into China, and eventually made his way into South Korea, to work as a reporter.

Because of his unique background, the perspective on North Korea that Mr. Joo offers in his blog is unlike any other. The Korean believes that there is absolutely no better way of understanding North Korea. Therefore, when this whole North Korean missile thing came about, the Korean knew where to go. And sure enough, there was a great post from Mr. Joo that the Korean was compelled to share. Below is the translation. The original post is here. The Korean focused more on making the post sound intelligent (because it is, in Korean,) than making the literal translation – thus, some parts of the translation is are not an exact match. At any rate, translation comments are always appreciated.

How to Screw Over Kim Jong-Il

The clamor over North Korean “rocket” reminds me of the phrase from Art of War: “If you fight when you want, where you want, and how you want, you never lose.” Currently, I am sure that there are many who wonder why this topic is given so much attention. I spent all day at the company [i.e. Dong-A Ilbo] on Saturday because of the news of North Korea’s satellite launch, although it was my day off. The same with Sunday.


Ministry of Foreign Affairs had an emergency response meeting starting 8 a.m. on Saturday. While it looks funny to have a response meeting when there is no response to be made, I am sure they were more afraid of appearing to do nothing – at least they should pretend to do something. The president also held a meeting with national security ministers. Would those meetings provide any good answer? (Would anyone expect them to?) I doubt that.

Even the Blue House [= presidential residence] meeting on Sunday after the rocket launched was limited to re-asserting the previous stance. But then again, there is not much more to do. In this light, at least the remark by President Lee Myong-Bak on the 5th [=Arbor Day in Korea] was wise – “while North Korea fires missiles, we plant trees.” Since there is nothing to do, at least he can grab a shovel and plant a tree.

Let us return to the Art of War above. This battle about the satellite is a battle we can never win, because Kim Jong-Il has all the choices with respect to the when, where, and how. This is how North-South relationship generally has unfolded so far.

To compare it to ping-pong, it is as if Kim Jong-Il continues to drive the ball and we are only defending. We are tense and befuddled because we don’t know where the next ball will fly to. It is pathetic in some respects. South Korean government says the principled thing is to stay calm. I would like them to do at least that, but it is not as if they are staying calm, as they are busy coming up with clumsy responses.

Strictly speaking, my personal view is that the media, including Korean ones, are taking treasonous actions. Treasonous action is nothing complicated; it is, literally [in Korean], an action that benefits the enemy. The following is why I think so.

First, the media is providing the stage for Kim Jong-Il’s play. Kim Jong-Il can trot around with that crude missile is thanks to the capitalist media that incessantly chatters for him. When the media chatters, the politicians are in the difficult situation of having to do something.

That missile is something that can never be used in an actual situation. Would a military satellite, which can measure shoe sizes on the ground, simply sit on the missile’s movement in the time of war? The missile takes several months between assembly and launch, and is immediately noticeable no matter where it is hidden. The idea that Kim Jong-Il can surprise America with an ICBM in the face of obvious self-destruction is clearly a fiction.

Second, the media, beyond serving its function of providing information, is terrorizing Koreans. Television only showed the missile news all day Saturday – it seems that the media is firing the bullshit cannon on behalf of Kim Jong-Il. It is not difficult to realize who gains from the atmosphere of fear resulting from such chatter. Further, although all three network television stations clamored in their special programming, the ratings did not even hit the average for the same time period from January through March. In other words, Koreans do not even care now.

I wish the media knew enough to simply graze over the news. For example, what if the media were to report – perhaps after it covered celebrity gossip – “Despite the hoopla, launch fails as expected”; “The result of decade’s worth of research was on display”; “Lack of funds leads to poor research”? Wouldn’t that frustrate the person who played the missile card thinking it would be a great piece of strategy?

Also, there is no report within the news inundation that convincingly explains why an ICBM is dangerous for Koreans. The media says the missile can become a nuclear weapon’s delivery mechanism. However, although Korea already is completely exposed to North Korea’s nuclear attack, I don’t remember if Korean media ever clamored this loudly on that issue. If the media is not concerned about Korea’s exposure to nuclear attacks, does that mean they are more worried for America? Are they maybe concerned that the crappy nuclear delivery mechanism would threaten America enough to discontinue military aid toward Korea? That is a separate political issue, but let us not forget that U.S. is a country that survived the Cold War against Russia, which had 10,000 nuclear warheads.

Personally, I believe that the true danger for Korea is the SCUD missile and long-range artillery. Specifically, there is truly nothing Korea can do against missiles like KN-02. Seoul is utterly exposed to North Korea’s long-range artillery and missiles without any defense. This situation did not happen yesterday, and this is the true danger.



Some eminent scientist on the news said “an ICBM can fire against Korea depending on the angle,” to emphasize ICBM’s danger against Korea. This is laughable. The media, with a straight face, is stating the sophism that North Korea is building an ICBM to attack Korea, although it can attack Korea with a cannon at any time.

(True danger to Korea is the missiles and long-range artillery, pictured above.)

Third, the media is assisting North Korea’s technical analysis. With North Korea’s technology alone, it would be difficult to figure out the post-launch status of the missile. However, once launched, America, Japan, or Korea kindly analyzes the status, which is relayed back to North Korea through the media. Using high-tech equipments such as satellites and Aegis cruisers (which costs more than a trillion won per ship), the media provides such details as where the first stage rocket landed, where the second stage rocket landed, what the ability of this missile will be and how likely the success would be, and so on.

Honestly, without the analysis from America, Japan and Korea, aided by such cutting-edge equipment that cost billions of dollars, I am not sure if North Korea would even know where its rocket went. Kim Jong-Il is in the cat bird seat in that respect – he just needs to launch, and there are all these great people who know to bring over the newest equipment possible to let him know exactly where, how, and why his rocket failed.

As an aside, Dong-A Ilbo’s report that ICBM technology is far more advanced than a satellite technology was a very good one. I believe that it was a good report in the time when everyone was reporting as if satellite rocket can be turned into an ICBM by simply changing the launching angle.

I can understand the overreaction on the part of the Japanese media. In the long term, emphasizing the threat from North Korea helps the militarization. Also, it can distract the eyes and ears focused on the administration with falling support. But Korea faces a different circumstance from Japan. Why must we engage in hysterics?

In fact, there is not much Korea can do against North Korea’s action. This is the difference between “closed society” and “open society”. Because of the many factors to be considered, Korea simply cannot respond in the thuggish way to North Korea’s thuggish action. Because of the backing from China and Russia, taking North Korea to the United Nations is difficult as well. Then what must we do? Should we simply sit and chatter as we do now? Is that all we can do?

I believe that for Korea’s benefit, the media must ignore Kim Jong-Il’s theatrics. A show requires a passionately reactive audience to be successful. Kim Jong-Il must be loving it now, since other countries are creating such reaction. One can tell how much he is enjoying this episode from the way he tricked the whole world on Saturday. I cannot be the only person who got screwed with high blood pressure from having to stand by on his day off.

But for a showman, the most discouraging thing is the non-reaction from the audience. It is truly devastating if no one even watches you. What is a showman to do in that case? He would try to take out another card and try his best in attracting attention. But there are only a limited number of cards for Kim Jong-Il to take out. If the missile thing does not work, there can be such things as “military provocation”, “nuclear test”, or “hostage situation,” etc. As far as the next cards of Kim Jong-Il go, these are about it – and this does not take an expert to figure it out. With this knowledge, South Korean government say there is nothing that can be done. But is that really the case?

Isn’t it about time that we move on from passivity and research a way to screw Kim Jong-Il over? I will quote the Art of War once again: ““If you fight when you want, where you want, and how you want, you never lose.” Can’t we win based on this?

This type of analysis is common in the Korean media: “The reason why Grand National Party is being dragged around by Democratic Party is because the former is trailing the latter in the ability for setting the agenda and naming the problem.” But I have never seen a media report that applies this type of analysis to North Korea. In this analysis, Korea would be the larger but incompetent and befuddled Grand National Party, and North Korea would be the small Democratic Party that overwhelms Grand National Party.

Let us analyze Korea’s advantages over North Korea. A quick list includes wealth, democracy, stronger military, etc. – in fact, it is difficult to name them all because there are so many. Korea can screw with North Korea using these advantages to their maximum effectiveness. But an idiotic eye-to-eye strategy cannot beat North Korea. A rich man who dislikes being beaten cannot get into a fistfight with a thug.

Then what can be done? I have thought of many possibilities, but I do not need to list them all, since national strategy is not decided on one person’s opinion. But I believe that we must publicly solicit the ways in which we can take over the agenda, utilize our advantage, and negotiate our way. We must bring the experts on North Korea together and formulate such policy – a policy for which, while avoiding outright collision, North Korea has no recourse other than to fume, like we do right now. For example:

Example 1: Kim Jong-Il announced that North Korea will launch a missile, but South Korean media is strangely quiet. When Kim Jong-Il begins to wonder about the absence of reaction, suddenly South Korean media causes a sensation with a report, “North Korean Labor Party secretary defects to South Korea.” No matter how many announcements about missiles are made, South Korean media only pays attention to the North Korean elite’s defection. The embarrassment from the defection by the elite, and the apathy to the missile, would surely piss off Kim Jong-Il.

Example 2: A foreign corporation that used to deal with North Korea suddenly announces that the relationship is terminated, saying that it would deal with South Korean corporations now. Whenever North Korea tries to buy anything, the foreign corporations reply that they would only deal with South Korean corporations that pay more. Nations friendly to North Korea slowly turn against it. The situation is infuriating, but it is not something that can be addressed militarily; all North Korea can do is to feel the misery of not having any money.

Such responses may be criticized on the grounds that they are reenactment of the competition during the Cold War era. But our advantage is that we survived that very competition. In the very least, Korean government loses the incompetence of getting dragged around by being unable to take the initiative.

If that’s not good enough, there are other ways such as: What if we gave such an exorbitant aid that North Korea cannot control it? We can give so much that North Korea cannot afford to turn down such an overwhelming aid, and that the entire [North Korean] Security Forces cannot control where the aid goes. Imagine the Gaeseong Industrial Complex becoming 10 times bigger. North Korea will have a lot of trouble gagging the laborers and preventing the leak of Korean pop culture, eventually causing a headache for maintaining the current regime. My personal estimate of the amount enough to overwhelm North Korea is around 2 percent of South Korea’s budget. Even the much-criticized “excessive” aid during Roh Moo-Hyun administration was less than 0.2 percent of the budget. Giving as much as my estimation for five years does not even amount to the cost of constructing the second Lotte World [amusement park in Seoul currently being built], which costs around 2 trillion won.

We keep focusing on how to respond to Kim Jong-Il, but that is not the right point to focus on. Korea’s leader must draw his own image of what Korean Peninsula would be like at least 10 years into the future. We have already seen Kim Il-Sung, who appeared as if he would live forever, suddenly disappear one day. Life is finite. Looking just a little beyond the finite lifespan may provide a new answer.

This is what happens with incompetence: although the “missile” is a greater threat to the United States, and was made for the purpose of talking with that country, Korea screamed and hollered while U.S. remained calm. Embarrassingly, there was no effect to such hysteria. Also, Korean government obstinately ignored the opinion for recognizing the projectile to be a satellite, insisting that the projectile is an ICBM. But once the U.S. said it was a satellite, Korean government sheepishly corrected the description as a rocket. Then, once the launch happened, Korean government recognized the projectile to be a satellite. Once U.S. changes the description again as a “missile”, Korea would have to follow again. How does this make sense?

This missile ruckus is reminiscent of the humiliating episode in November 2008. Korean government had totally ignored North Korea’s repeated request for military communication material and equipment, until that point. On the day North Korea cut off the North-South Hotline, Korean government groveled and said it would provide the equipment. (I feel personally embarrassed as I write this.)

In this episode too, Korean government led the charge in overreacting, hollering that launch would be unforgivable. But once it became obvious that there is nothing Korean government could do, it quietly corrected itself, saying, “There will be no military response.” Korea would publicly assert that North Korea will pay for its misdeeds, but it quietly set its butt on the chair in the six-party talks. Truly, what embarrassing and sad scenes.

Got a question or comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com.

How to Hold Jesa

Dear Korean,

I came across your blog while doing a search for 제사 procedures. I can't seem to find anything in detail in English, and the Korean is way over my head. We are coming up on the 4th year since my mother passed. In the past, we have done the ceremony at a local temple that set everything up for us and we just paid and attended the ceremony. This year though, we have moved and there is no temple near us. I am thinking we are going to have to do it at home, but have no idea how or what I even need to do!

Any tips as far as food-wise, table settings, and anything else that we're supposed to do?

Thanks,

Alicia

P.S. I am the only child - and a girl by the way. It would just be me and my husband doing the ceremony.

Dear Alicia,

First off, a quick explanation on what jesa (제사) is -- jesa is a memorial ceremony for the dead. In fact, there are many different types of jesa, because technically it is a general term for memorial ceremonies of all types. The types include: myoje (묘제), held at the grave; sije (시제), held every season; charye (차례), held on major holidays like Lunar New Year's Day and Chuseok, etc. But currently when Korean people speak of jesa, they are mostly talking about gijesa (기제사) -- the kind held once a year, on the day the person passed away.

Jesa is very, very important in Korean culture. It is one of the few traditional ceremonies that Korean people still follow faithfully, often without regards to particular religion. For example, one of the reasons why Catholicism was able to make inroads with Korea faster than Protestantism is that Korean Catholics are allowed to hold jesa, per decree from Pope Pius XII in 1939. (Protestants of Korea held out longer -- while majority of Protestants in Korea do not hold jesa, a significant number still holds jesa or a modified form of one.) In fact, in a family life jesa is as important as a birthday. After all, it only makes sense that if there is a birthday, there also is a deathday.

The Korean will describe a model way of jesa below, be mindful that this ceremony is both highly adaptive and geography specific. Each family of different regions of Korea holds things with different food and different order. In fact, the Korean had to pause about whether this would be applicable to Alicia at all, because she mentioned that her jesa was held at a temple -- which could mean that her mother was a Buddhist, who have slightly different procedures.  Also, because of the convenience of modern Koreans, certain things are abbreviated. But for the sake of everyone who might be interested in a model jesa, here is one model that is fairly common.

Logistics of Jesa

First of all, who is honored by jesa? As of today, the common practice is to hold jesa (i.e. gijesa, the "deathday") for up to your (paternal) grandparents. The ancestors beyond the grandparents level are honored through the other kinds of jesa, namely the ones held on major holidays, etc. If both of one's parents passed away, a single jesa is held for both of them together, on the jesa day of the father. (You will soon notice that much of this process is pretty sexist, but that's how traditions generally are.)

Who holds a jesa? The oldest male heir does. For a jesa for parents, the oldest male heir is the oldest son. For a jesa for grandparents, assuming there is no surviving male child of the grandparents, the oldest male heir is the oldest male child of the oldest male child of the grandparents. So for example, if the Korean Parents were to pass away, the Korean -- the oldest male child of the Korean Parents -- would hold the jesa for the Korean Parents. The Korean Grandfather has already passed away, and his jesa is held by one of the Korean Uncles, who is the oldest male child among the five that the Korean Grandfather had. If the Korean Uncle passes away, the grandfather-jesa duties would go to the oldest son of the Korean Uncle, i.e. the Korean Cousin. Just to trace back a little bit further, just for fun -- the Korean Grandfather was the last child among the three brothers, so the jesa for the Korean Great-Grandfather is held at the Korean Father's Cousin's house -- who is the oldest son of the Korean Grandfather's oldest brother.

Alicia's parents apparently passed away without a son, so technically her parents do not receive a jesa because only men are allowed to hold jesa. This is one of the major reasons why having a son in traditional Korea was such a huge deal. But in modern Korea, especially in cases when parents die without a son, daughters with their husbands hold jesa nonetheless.

When exactly is the date and the time of the jesa? The correct answer is "the earliest possible time on the day the person passed away," which means the midnight of the date of death. (A common threat in Korea is "Today is your jesa day," i.e. today is the day you die.) Practically, this means that people actually gather for jesa on the day before the date of death, so that jesa may begin exactly at 12 midnight of the next day. One tricky part is that because Korea traditionally has used a lunar calendar, jesa date is also traditionally determined by lunar calendar as well -- which means it changes from year to year on a solar calendar. But in modern Korea, following only the solar calendar is acceptable.

Be sure to be dressed properly. No need to go crazy with traditional garbs, but men generally wear a suit and women wear conservative dresses. 

More after the jump.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@gmail.com

Korean Language Series – Writing and Reading

WARNING: You should be able to see typed Korean language in order to fully read this post. If you are a Windows user, you can go to Microsoft's website and download the "East Asian Language Support". Ask your local computer nerd. Entice him with a woman and it will be easy.

-EDIT 14 June 2007 11:52 a.m.- If you would prefer a more interactive guide, try this link: http://langintro.com/kintro/ Thank you, J. David Eisenberg!

Dear Korean,

I'm interested in learning Korean although nobody encouraged me to do so! I wonder if you can help me explain Korean pronunciation, I've bought 2 different "teach yourself Korean" books but I can't seem to understand the pronunciation sections.

Amna

Dear Amna,

The Korean must warn everyone that he had never received formal education as to how to teach Korean to non-Korean speakers. Therefore, all the technical terminology that the Korean uses in this post (as well as in other Korean Language Series) are made up by the Korean. Additionally, the Korean will often be wrong about things. But hey, that’s the price you pay if you try to learn a foreign language from an amateur off a blog.

Korean alphabet, called Hanguel, was created by King Sejong and his scholars in the 15th Century, and it is extremely innovative. The entire alphabet has 40 characters, with 19 consonants and 21 vowels. (Technically it is 14 simple consonants, 5 compound consonants, 10 simple vowels, and 11 compound vowels.) First, let’s go over the basics of how a Korean letter is written. It sounds odd that you are learning to write before you can read, but it will make sense in the end.

Characters v. Letters

It’s important to distinguish between “characters” and “letters.” Each character alone cannot stand independently, because each character is either a single consonant or a single vowel. Instead, either two or three characters combine to form a pronounceable block, i.e. a “letter.”

So this is how a letter is formed: it is other “consonant + vowel”, or “consonant + vowel + consonant”. (Some of the letters are actually “consonant + vowel + consonant + consonant” in relatively rare cases. They are dealt in Advanced Stuff section.)

It sounds complicated written out like that, but the idea is simple. Think back to Sesame Street and how two shadowy people form a word. “H” plus “a” is “Ha”. “H” plus “a” plus “t” would be “Hat”. (The “A”s in the two words are pronounced differently in the two words, but you get the picture anyway. The Korean can’t help the fact that English alphabet is a screwed up one.)

The table of characters is linked later in the post. But hold your horses, and finish reading the post first.

“Okay, how do I write a letter?”

In order to form a letter out of the characters, pay attention to whether the vowel position is vertical, horizontal, or combined. It is really simple to do actually – vertical vowels stand tall, horizontal vowels are flat, and combined are vertical + horizontal vowels.

Step 1. Imagine filling up a square block. Write the consonant is the left half if the vowel is vertical; write the consonant on the top half if the vowel is horizontal. Write the consonant in the top left quarter if the vowel is combined.

Step 2. Write in the vowel.

Step 3. If there is a consonant following the vowel, that consonant goes on the bottom of the “consonant + vowel” combination that you just formed.

Let’s take a Korean word like “미국” (“America”). 미국 is made up of two letters, each letter making up one syllable. The letter 미 is made up of the consonant ㅁ and the vowel ㅣ. You can see that ㅣ is vertical, so write ㅁ in the left half the imaginary box, and put ㅣ next to it to form 미. The next one is trickier – it involves a second consonant. Since the vowel is ㅜ, you can see that it’s shaped flat and therefore has a horizontal position. So write the consonant ㄱ on top, put the vowel ㅜ on the bottom. Then put the last consonant ㄱ underneath the vowel. And there you have it, your first Korean word – God bless America!!

As an aside, notice that in Korean, there is never a free-standing consonant without a vowel attached to it. That’s why Korean people have such a hard time pronouncing such words like “school”. “s” in “school” does not have a vowel attached to it – “school” is one syllable in English. But Korean person trying to pronounce that word cannot process a consonant that does not have a vowel. So usually the best the Korean person can do is to pronounce it like “seu-kool”, in two syllables.

“Now I can write some exotic stuff I can’t read. Thanks, genius.”

Alright, we are finally ready to read. The chart of characters has pronunciation attached to it, but read this first. We are going to try reading 미국. First letter first: consonant ㅁ sounds like “m”. Vowel ㅣ sounds like “ee” as in “seek”. Therefore, 미 is pronounced like “mee”. Then the next letter: consonant ㄱ sounds like “g” as in “gate”. Vowel ㅜ sounds like “oo” as in “zoo”. So the pronunciation is: g + oo + g = goog. So “America” in Korean is mee-goog. Simple, right?

One more caveat – what the Korean just wrote above is not the standard Romanization of Korean characters. The chart below includes how each character is Romanized as well. For example, the correct Romanization of 미국 is “miguk”. From this point on, all Korean words will be in standard Romanization format.

Okay, you can take a look the chart now. The Korean will be waiting right here. (If your browser automatically re-sizes the image, save the image on your computer and read along.)

-EDIT- Here is the link for a pdf form of the chart. The earlier link is in a jpeg format in order to make sure that people without East Asian Language support can read it, but it does not print properly. If you wish to print the chart out, use the pdf link to print. Thank you Bonnie B. for pointing this out.

….

….

….

Welcome back. Your head spinning yet? Print the chart out and keep it next to you as we read on.

Let’s do one more example, the Ask A Korean! favorite – how to read 왕자. Consonant ㅇ is silent before the vowel, and sounds like “ng” after the vowel. The vowel ㅘ is a compound vowel, combining ㅗ (“o”) and ㅏ (“a”), so it sounds like “oa”, or “wa”. Consonant ㅈ sounds like “j”, and ㅏ sounds like “a”.

Put them all together: wa + ng / j + a = wangja, i.e. Prince Fielder’s neck tattoo.

Parting Words

The Korean would like to finish up with two points.

First, notice how fucked up English alphabet is. The Romanization of Korean is so complicated only because English alphabet is so messed up, and the Korean scholars who came up with it were trying to make Korean language to readable to English-speaking people somehow. English consonants and vowels often change sound randomly, although the letters – representation of the sound – never change. Thus we have the famous example of spelling “fish” as “ghoti” – “gh” from “tough”, “o” from “women”, and “ti” from “nation”.

Take a common Korean last name like 김. Under proper Romanization, it would be written as “gim”, and pronounced as such. But English speakers would pronounce it like “gym”, so Koreans had to adapt and bastardize the sound to the next closest sound, which is “kim”. The last name 박 is even worse. It would be properly Romanized as “bak”, but English speakers would read it like “back”. So Korean people added an “r”, turning it into “bark”. Then the connotation of the word became negative, so they switched it to next closest sound, which is “park”. So in reality, there are no Kims and Parks in Korea – only Gims and Baks.

Second, appreciate how beautifully designed Hangeul is in contrast. It is the only alphabet system in the world that has been designated as UNESCO World Heritage. The Korean can write 50 pages about the genius of Hangeul, but he will just give one example here: the amazing adaptability of the compound vowels. Although currently only 11 compound vowels are used in Korean language, technically any of the 5 horizontal vowels can combine with any of the 5 vertical vowels to form a new sound – 25 new sounds created in a snap, plus 4 exceptions where a vertical vowel combines with another vertical vowel. So out of 40 possible vowel sounds that Hangeul can represent (10 simple vowels + 30 compound vowels), nearly half of them (19) are not even in the Korean language!

In other words, Hangeul vowel characters can cover almost any vowel sound made in the world. (A big exception is vowel tones in tonal languages, for example Chinese.) No other alphabet in the world has a system that enables it to record a sound that does not exist in the language it represents. If aliens landed on Earth tomorrow, Hangeul would be the only reliable alphabet in the world that can consistently represent the vowel sounds that they make.

Advanced Stuff: Read Only If You Are Hardcore

Here are some more tips as to correctly pronouncing Korean characters and letters. The Korean is certain that he missed a lot of stuff, and wrong about some of the things here. Please email or comment if you notice anything.

Extremely useful tip for English speakers – whenever you read a Korean letter, pretend there is an “h” behind the vowel to get the consonant sound right. For example, if an English speaker read “sa”, she would pronounce the “s” like the “s” in “sin”, which is incorrect. (“s” in “sin” is Romanized as “ss”.) But if she tried to read “sah”, she would pronounce the “s” like the “s” in “snake”, which is the correct way. This rule applies across the board, no matter what the letters are.

Additional Romanization rule 1 – Under standard Romanization, one word in Korean is written as one word Romanized. So a sentence like 날씨가 좋습니다 (“the weather is good”) is Romanized as: “nalssiga jotseupnida”. However, if writing as one word is likely to produce a wrong pronunciation, hyphen can be added to separate the Korean letters. So the word 씨앗 (“seed”) is Romanized as “ssi-at”, since writing it as “ssiat” is likely to be pronounced wrong. Another example is the word 항아리 (“jug”), which is Romanized as “hang-ari”, since “hangari” would be pronounced like “han-ga-ri”.

Additional Romanization rule 2 – If the pronunciation is different from the way a word is spelled (following one of the “Advanced pronunciation rules” below”), the word is Romanized as it is pronounced, not as it is written.

Romanization exceptions – The current standard Romanization rule was introduced in 2000; prior to that, Korea used something called McCune-Reischauer Romanization System, which involved a lot of complicated additional notations on top of regular English alphabets to faithfully represent the Korean pronunciation. But outside of governmental and scholarly papers, McCune-Reischauer system was never popular in Korea because it was so complicated. Regular Korean people and Korean businesses Romanized their names more or less arbitrarily. Therefore, people’s names, if Romanized before 2000, stayed the same. Also, people may Romanize their name in any way they please.

For example, former president/dictator 박정희 would be written as “Bak Jeonghui” under the current Romanization system. But since he was born long before 2000, the Romanization of his name is “Park Chung-hee”. This rule also applies to well-established names of locations, like 서울 (which should be “Seo-ul” to prevent it from being pronounced like “soul”, but written as “Seoul”, merrily carrying on the mispronunciation.)

How to pronounce difficult sounds – let’s go over them one by one.

ㄹ – deceptively hard, because it’s neither L or R. Try pronouncing “Lola” very carefully. You will notice that you are actually sounding out “lol-la”, adding an extra consonant. Remember that ㄹ is Romanized with “r” in the first position and it’s easier to pronounce.

ㅅ and ㅆ – you have to realize that English “s” makes two different sounds. ㅅ is like “s” in “snake”. ㅆ is like “s” in “soon”.

ㄲ, ㄸ, ㅃ, ㅆ, and ㅉ – if you know how to pronounce Spanish correctly, these should come pretty easily. As you can tell from their shapes, they are related to ㄱ, ㄷ, ㅂ, ㅅ, and ㅈ respectively. Let’s try with ㄸ first. Try sounding 다 (da) very carefully. Say it like da-da-da-da… and notice your tongue is touching the roof of your mouth. Now, stiffen your tongue a little harder when it touches the roof, and hold it for half a second longer, and “burst” the sound out. It should be 따. ㄲ and ㅉ can be sounded out in a similar way. ㅃ is different because the sound only involves your lips, but same mechanism. Say ba-ba-ba-ba… and stiffen your lips a little harder as they come together, hold it a bit longer, then burst out the sound.

ㅡ – this vowel sound is most easily made by the following way: clench your teeth and make a guttural noise. It’s not the right sound, but it’s pretty close. Alternatively, pull your lips out as if you are smiling, and make the sound that’s least difficult to make.

Advanced pronunciation rule 1 – The Korean said some Korean letters are “consonant + vowel + consonant + consonant”. Here is an example: 뷁. How do you read this? The rule is: Ignore the last consonant, and only pronounce the first bottom consonant (called “batchim” in Korean, meaning “bottom piece”). So the letter 뷁, standing alone, would be pronounced like 뷀, i.e. b + ue + l = buel. But letters of this kind rarely stand alone, and the second batchim usually affects the sound of the next following consonant. Read below.

Advanced pronunciation rule 1.1 – Take the word 넓다 (“broad”). Now we know the first letter is read as n + eo + l = neol, ignoring the last consonant ㅂ. But the last consonant doesn’t stand pat. Instead, it changes the sound of the next following consonant into the “stronger” sound, if possible. ㄱ changes into ㄲ; ㄷ into ㄸ; ㅂ into ㅃ; ㅅ into ㅆ, and; ㅈ into ㅉ. All other consonants’ sounds stay the same. So the word 넓다 is pronounced like 널따, i.e., n + eo + l / dd + a = neoldda. Make sure you follow this rule, because the same word without this rule would sound like 널다, which is a different word whose meaning is “to hang clothes to dry.” Conceptually, this rule is similar to the “batchim slide-over rule” described in Rule 2. Read on.

Advanced pronunciation rule 1.2 – There is one exception to this rule, and it’s when the last consonant is ㅎ. Instead of getting a “stronger” sound, the following consonant becomes “harsher” if possible. ㄱ turns into ㅋ; ㄷ into ㅌ; ㅈ into ㅊ, and ; ㅂ into ㅍ. So the word 많다 (“many”, “much”) is pronounced like 만타, which is m + a + n / t + a = manta.

Advanced pronunciation rule 2 – Remember consonant ㅇ was silent in the first position? So take a look at this word: 놀이 (“game” or “play”). Based on what you learned so far, it would be pronounced: n + o + l / i = nol-i. But that is incorrect. What happens is the batchim of the first letter slides over to the second letter, and takes over the empty space created by ㅇ. So the actual pronunciation of the word 놀이 is exactly the same as that of the word 노리, i.e. n + o / r + i = nori.

The rule: If the first character of a word has a second consonant after the vowel (batchim), and if the first character of the second letter in a word is ㅇ, the batchim slides over to the second letter and pronounced as if it is attached to the vowel of the second letter.

Advanced pronunciation rule 2.1 – Take a look at the chart, and you will realize that some of the consonants have different sounds depending on the position. For example, ㅊ is “ch” in the first position and “t” in the second position. So what happens if the sound-changing type of consonant slides over? Answer: That consonant recovers its first position sound.

Example: Take the word 볶음 (“stir fry”). The batchim ㄲ is pronounced identical to ㄱ as a batchim. But when it slides over, the word is pronounced like 보끔, i.e. b + o / kk + eu +m = bokkeum. This is important because the word 복음, pronounced like 보금, i.e. b + o / g + eu + m = bogeum, means “gospel”. Try not to order the gospel of chicken at a Korean restaurant.

Advanced pronunciation rule 2.2 – What about those pesky double batchim letters? Answer: only the last batchim slides over to the next word. So the word 넓이 (“breadth” or “width”) is pronounced like 널비, n + eo + l / b + i = neolbi.

Advanced pronunciation rule 3 – if a batchim is followed by ㅎ, the batchim is pronounced “harsher”. ㄱ turns into ㅋ; ㄷ and ㅈ into ㅊ, and ; ㅂ into ㅍ. (Technically, the “harsher” sound for ㄷ is ㅌ, but it turns into ㅊ in this situation only.) So the word 닫힌 (“closed”) is not pronounced like dat’hin, but like dachin, as if reading 다친.

Advanced pronunciation rule 4 – This rule is super-advanced, and Koreans themselves often get it wrong. The rule is: If two words combine to form a single new word, the first consonant of the second original word is pronounced “stronger” if possible (in order to signal that it is a compound word.) So again, ㄱ changes into ㄲ; ㄷ into ㄸ; ㅂ into ㅃ; ㅅ into ㅆ, and; ㅈ into ㅉ.

Example: the word 김밥 (Korean seaweed roll, variation of Japanese sushi roll) is made up of two words, 김 (“laver”, a type of seaweed) and 밥 (“steamed rice”). But the word 김밥 is not pronounced as “gim-bap”. Since it is a compound word made up of two words, it is properly pronounced “gim-bbap”. (Although many Koreans, including the Korean Father, pronounces is as gim-bap, forgetting the compound word rule.) Another example is the word 물병 (“water bottle”). It is not pronounced as “mul-byeong”; since the word is made up of the words 물 (“water”) and 병 (“bottle”), it is pronounced “mul-bbyeong”.

What if the stronger sound is not available for the following consonant? Then the following consonant is pronounced the same way. Thus, 물항아리 (“water jug”), although it is made up of the words 물 and 항아리, is pronounced as mul-hang-ari.

Last last words – The Korean has to warn you just one more time that he is just an amateur! If you see something wrong or missing, please tell him so that he can correct it.

Got a question or comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com.