For Crying Out Loud, Grow a Sense of Humor

[NOTE: Sorry readers, Blogger is acting up again. Click the title of the post to pull up this post only in order to watch the hilarious videos of Joe Wong.]

KoreAm magazine blog recently carried a post by Emil Guillermo, discussing a rising stand-up comic named Joe Wong. Here is Joe on the Late Show with Davie Letterman.

The Korean laughed. Laughed really, really hard. The Korean is an immigrant himself, and everything that Wong did was spot-on. The Korean showed the clip to the Korean Fiancee (also a first generation immigrant,) and she also laughed really, really hard. The Korean went on Youtube to find more clips, and Wong did not disappoint. Here is another clip:

Then the Korean read the post below it, and was disappointed. Unlike the Korean, Guillermo did not find Wong to be funny at all. After lobbing a few unnecessary low blows toward Letterman, Guillermo takes aim at Wong:

Blacks certainly wouldn’t welcome a modern reprise of racist pick-a-ninny jokes nor the second coming of Stepin’ Fetchit-type humor. So why should Asian Americans? That’s the trouble with Letterman selling Joe Wong as the face of Asian American comedy.

If Joe Wong taps into some universal truth, it’s stupidity. But when you’re barely represented in the media and stupid is all people see, an image problem is created. No one thinks all white people are like the Simpsons. Besides, they’re cartoons drawn in Korea. But for many, the only Asian they might see could be Joe Wong. When people laugh at Wong, an Asian immigrant lost in American society, they are laughing at and glorifying the everyday examples of racism.

To be fair, Guillermo sees value in self-deprecating jokes. But he thinks that such jokes do not suit Joe:

Certainly, self-effacing, self-deprecating humor can be useful. For Congressman Norm Mineta, it was standard to open every speech with a self-deprecating joke. But when you’re one of the most influential Asian Americans in Washington, you can afford the self-deprecation. Besides, the audience always saw it as charming.

But when you’re lowly Joe Wong, the self-deprecation is merely a re-affirmation of your lowliness. And Wong takes every Asian American down with him. With this everyman, we’re all the butt of the joke.

Guillermo closes with a reflection on Asian American comedy, and by essentially branding Joe as a traitor to his race:

Lately, I’ve come to appreciate the gifts of comedienne Margaret Cho. The comic genius continues to boldly shock and challenge cultural assumptions. Another Korean American, Tina Kim, never stoops to the stupid accent.

The correspondents’ dinner in Washington should represent quite a contrast. The Obama administration has done much to raise the Asian American profile. But all it takes is one Joe Wong in such a high-profile venue to imprint a new negative image within American pop culture. We no longer have to worry about white shock jocks doing accented ching-chong comedy bits anymore. (Hey, that’s racist.) Now, we have one of our own all too willing to debase us.

Authentic? No, just pathetic.

Strong words they are. The Korean does not shy away from strong words either. So here is the Korean's message to Emil Guillermo: "Get a fucking grip man, and grow a sense of humor."

First of all, Guillermo simply does not get Joe's jokes, and why they are funny. Take the joke about washing hands that Guillermo cited his post. The joke works in two stages -- the "inspiration" part, and the "children" part. The inspiration part is very clever. It focuses on a part of the commonplace language on which we rarely focus, and exposes a possible incongruence between the language and the purpose of the language. Then the joke proceeds by bridging the incongruence in a deliberately false manner.

Overall, that joke works a lot like Mitch Hedberg's "Yoplait" joke, which goes like this:

I opened-up a yogurt, underneath the lid it said, "Please try again." because they were having a contest that I was unaware of. I thought maybe I opened the yogurt wrong. Or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me. "Come on Mitchell, don't give up! PLEASE TRY AGAIN!! An inspirational message from your friends at Yoplait." Fruit on the bottom, hope on top.

(The Korean could not find the video of this joke for the life of him. Too bad, because Hedberg's delivery takes it to another level.)

(-EDIT 3/16/2010- Thank you, commenters Marten and Sungik. The Yoplait joke is at the 1 minute mark of the updated video.)

But Wong takes his joke one more step, in a pitch-perfect manner: “I wash my hands every time I use the bathroom, so my children don’t have to.” Now this joke is not only clever, but also has an element of sweetness to it. The joke now exploits the deliberate false cognition at full speed, and brings in a stereotypically Asian and immigrant concern for children. Many different things are at play here. The deliberate false cognition is funny. Father's concern for his child is sweet, but funny when it veers into something that does not seem to deserve that concern. (This is a huge appeal of Stuff Korean Moms Like, for example.) This concern packs an additional punch due to Wong's sincere delivery, made believable by the stereotype about Asians/immigrants and their concern for their children's future.

Guillermo does not understand any of this. Instead, he chalks up the reason for the laughter to such canard like the laughers' "need to feel superior" or Wong's "stupidity," playing the part of "the dumb Asian immigrant." Please! There is not a single dumb joke in Wong's bits shown on his two appearances on Letterman. All of Wong's jokes are incomparably better than the crude and unfunny ching-chong jokes. In fact, a good portion of Wong's jokes are not even about being an Asian immigrant. (For example, the "parallel parking" joke, the "blueberry vs. strawberry" joke, "baby on board" joke.)

In fact, Guillermo belies that it's not just Joe Wong that he does not get -- Guillermo does not get stand-up comedy as a whole. "Blacks certainly wouldn't welcome a modern reprise of racist pick-a-ninny jokes"? Really? Then how does Guillermo explain one of the most iconic black comedians giving this bit?

Fat, black women don't give a fuck what you think. She's going out on Friday night. She got an outfit on. That shit match. She got the pumps on, and the pump fat coming out the pump. That's right. It looks like they baking bread in her shoe.

"Baby, your foot ready yet?" "I'll just sprinkle some cinnamon on it!"

That's right. She got an anklet on, and that anklet's holding on for dear life. Black women don't give a fuck. She's like, "I'm sexy. I am sexy, yes, I am! I am the sexiest motherfucker here tonight! Yeah, I got a gut. There's some good pussy under this gut! That's right. You want some of this so you can "livin' la vida loca!"

Was the thunderous laughter for Chris Rock only came from the white people sitting in the Apollo Theater?

It is actually funny that Guillermo cites approvingly of Margaret Cho. Mind you, the Korean LOVES Margaret Cho. But we are talking about a woman who launched her career by (and drew a lot of flak for) talking about how her mother, complete with Korean accent, would call her daughter "moron" in a screaming manner. What about that routine "boldly shock[s] and challenge[s] cultural assumptions," as Guillermo puts it?

But the problem is not simply that Guillermo does not have a sense of humor. The larger problem is that Guillermo represents a certain mindset that is downright harmful to Asian Americans.

(More after the jump.)

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@gmail.com.

Ask a Korean! News: Currency Reform in North Korea (Part 2)

(Continued from Part 1 of the series. Original article in Korean here.)

Mission: Impossible, and North Korea's Utter Failure

There is little possibility that prohibition on foreign currency use, issued as a follow-up to the currency reform, would continue to be implemented. (*In fact, as of February North Korea gave up on the enforcement of the prohibition.) North Koreans who possess foreign currency right now are simply sitting on it, waiting for the time when the exchange rate stabilizes. (*The same today, which is about two months since this article was written.) They absolutely do not think that it would be impossible to use foreign currency in the future.

Another North Korean sources said on January 8: "It has been more than a month since the currency reform, but even today the exchange rate goes up and down by 100 percent so it is impossible to know the exact exchange rate," and added: "It will not be until March when the exchange rate between North Korean money and foreign currency would stabilize. Right now there are few transactions." (*The fluctuation in exchange rate is still great enough to cast doubt as to whether the exchange rate will stabilize in March. The stabilization may come in April.) To this reporter who raised doubt about the possibility of being able to continue using foreign currency under the regime's control, the source boasted: "There is no problem at all. It is not as if we have been using foreign currency because the government told us to use it."

The vast majority of North Koreans who are sitting on foreign currency is party officials. The officers who should be in charge of control are actually the ones who most desire the foreign currency ban to be ineffectual. Therefore, it seems likely that the power of dollar and yuan in North Korea will remain strong. (*This prediction by the North Korean source is proving to be very wise at this point.)

國際先驅導報, a Chinese daily, reported on January 7 that Joseon Trade Bank, North Korea's bank that clears trades, set the exchange rate between dollar and the new currency at 96.9 won per dollar. But North Korea's externally posted exchange rate is meaningless. Customarily so far, the exchange rate between dollar and yuan in North Korean black markets was nearly the same as that in China. In other words, if a dollar is exchanged for 6.8 yuan in China, the same rate holds in North Korea.

In addition, even the currency exchange counters in various regions that are run by the government exchanges foreign currency based on the exchange rate in the marketplace. In other words, the externally posted exchange rate is literally for show; even the regime itself does not recognize that exchange rate internally. (*Recently there has been a report where a high-ranking North Korean official admitted to this. There is no need for Korean media to even discuss North Korea's official exchange rate.)

Interesting thing to note is that the value of foreign currency in North Korea tends to go together with the price of rice, which serves as the standard for the value of goods in the marketplace. The rice price, in turn, goes together with the price of rice in the regions of China close to North Korea. Although there is a seasonal factor, usually rice in a North Korean marketplace costs around 1.2 times the cost in China, reflecting the cost of transportation.

The currency reform devalued the money 100 to 1, but it is likely that the reform will become ineffective and the price of goods will revert to the price previous to the reform. (*Even after 100-to-1 devaluation, the price of goods has already climbed to 25 percent of pre-reform price.) For example, right before the reform, rice cost 2200 won for 1 kg and 1 dollar was 3800 won in old money. According to the spirit of the currency reform, 1 kg of rice should be 22 won and 1 dollar should be 38 won in new money. But only one month since the currency reform, 1 kg of rice sells at 200 won and 1 dollar exchanges for over 100 won. (*At mid-February, two months since the reform, 1 kg of rice sells for 500 won in northern North Korea.) Because everyone is hiding their foreign currency in the face of foreign currency prohibition, the exchange rates for dollars or yuans are fluctuating by hundred percent in the same day.

At this point, the marketplace continues to operate as it did before the currency reform. While they have no choice but to show up at marketplace in order to eat and survive, the merchants and the people are confused by the price that runs on a roller coaster several times a day. As the regime decided to pay the laborers the same face value of salary as it was before the reform, the price will likely continue to rise. (*This is actually happening.)

The merchants at the marketplace are the ones who are harmed the most by the currency reform, but farmers on the other hand received the most benefit. Some farmers find themselves rich overnight because of North Korean farms' distribution system. Unlike laborers who receive a monthly salary, farmers receive their entire year's worth of compensation in cash around December through the distribution process. The distribution amount differs depending on one's "effort count".

An "effort count" is a numerical count of the daily labor performed by a farmer. The distribution amount, following the effort count, also depends on the amount of production each farm generated. Therefore, taking North Korea as a whole, a farmer family receives anywhere between several tens of thousand won to several million won. Last December when the farmers received their distribution was when the price for grain and goods, counted in new money, was the lowest. Farmers who anticipated the exacerbating inflation and the rise in price attempted to turn their entire distribution money into goods and sit on them.

This atmosphere is vividly reflected on the January 3rd report by Joseon Shinbo, the official newsletter for North Korean-Japanese Association [TK: 조총련], which described the throng of people at Pyongyang Department Store No. 1. According to the report, the department store spent a week from December 22, 2009 to procure 440 types of items, four million items total, in preparation for the New Year's Day. It must have been a significant strain on the regime to procure this much. But because of the size of the crowd on the morning of the New Year's Day, the department store opened at 7:30 a.m. instead of its normal time, 10 a.m. Just in the morning, 155 televisions and 550 sheets of blankets were sold.

The newsletter said, "There were so many customers that there was hardly room to take a step in the department store. The store at one point had to cordon off the entrance around 3 p.m. because the crowd was simply too big." It added, "There are high-earning families among farmers or miners." It also added, "Lee Geum-Ok, a farmer in Hyeongje-san District, said she received 50,000 won in distribution, and she along with all the farmers in her unit will buy a color television." Also noted is "One farmer who visited the department store that day said his entire family worked at the farm and earned 1.45 million won as a family."

Farmers are convinced that within a few months, the price of goods that they purchased will jump by several times or several tens of times. In fact, except for a few government-run stores in Pyongyang, the price of goods at the marketplace is furiously rising every day. (*The farmers' actions are proving to be a wise move. The farmers who immediately sat on goods with their distribution money made a significant gain.)

The price rises in large part because of stockpiling, not simply by farmers but by everyone. There are many who support the currency reform among those who are able to stockpile. But they do not necessarily expect things to continue to be better simply because their life right now has improved a little. Stockpiling is a reflection of that mindset; they believe that actual goods are much safer than the untrustworthy North Korean money. Because the wholesalers are keeping their goods in warehouses, and regular people are stockpiling what little goods that the regime procures or the grain that come out into the marketplace, the shortage in North Korea is increasingly getting worse. This feeds into the vicious cycle that leads into the rise in price.

Therefore, unless the North Korean regime finds an ingenious way to pull out the goods that individuals are hiding, the social unrest can only grow. Right now the regime is trying to forcibly cut off the supply chain of individually-owned goods by eliminating the marketplace, but that measure has little possibility of success. (*As expected, it has been proven that there was no real ingenious way, and the situation ended with North Korea simply recognizing the presence of the marketplace.) North Korean people, through their experience from the last decade, know that a transaction can happen regardless of time and place as long as they hold the goods.

This round of currency reform also provided South Korea with certain food for thought.

Shortly after the news of currency reform broke, South Korean media was flooded with the sensationalistic news as if riots were impending in North Korea. However, this reporter who investigated North Korea at the same time heard that the public opinion on the currency reform was in fact significantly favorable. Despite this, the media that relayed the currency reform news only contained the voices of angry North Koreans. (*As I said previously, the favorable opinion has changed in the last month and a half.)

Of course, there could be legitimate reasons. The North Koreans who can speak on the phone with South Korea are likely to be the victims of the currency reform. It is reasonable to infer from their ability to communicate with South Korea that they received a lot of money in the process as well. But even more so than these reasons, this reporter detected the prejudice in South Korea that, "North Korea regime can never do anything that may be welcomed by the people, nor should it."

The news of currency reform was relayed mainly through North Korea-related NGOs that engage in anti-Kim Jong-Il activities. It is difficult to blame a politically motivated group for publicizing only the information that is necessarily for their goal. (*Naturally.) But I believe that the media should not jump into that fray, looking only for sensationalistic stories. As long as it was sensational, a report by a nameless Taiwanese media company -- which Korean companies did not even glance at, and has nothing to do with North Korea -- would be quoted in the front page of Korean newspaper and the main story of Korean television news. (*To give a neologism name, it is a typical pingpong reportage.) Truly embarrassing.

Another interesting point is that it is getting increasingly more difficult for the traditional media to maintain its lead in North Korea-related news. In the Internet age when an individual could be a one-man media through such channels as blogs, the traditional media's advantage is disappearing. North Korea's currency reform starkly exemplified this trend. North Korea-related organizations poured out news related to the currency reform, and the traditional media did no more than following them and taking notes.

In contrast, it was the North Korea-related organizations who were engaged in a competition to break news. While these groups sometimes provided incorrect information due to excessive competition, lack of experience and understanding with the press, their political leanings, etc., more notable was that South Korean media does not have the ability to sufficiently distinguish the worthy North Korean news from the worthless ones. (*There were actual examples of simply taking dictations of information that was hardly credible.)

The reportage on the currency reform was also a symbolic moment of the presence of North Korean defector organization, while providing an occasion to question the ability of government agencies (run with a massive budget) to collect North Korean intelligence. While the defector organizations made reports on real time basis, the government only repeated for several days that it could not confirm. There were also reports that Intelligence Committee of the National Assembly continued to chastise the lack of intelligence gathering in North Korea. While the defector organization cannot yet collect much high-level intelligence, it is undeniable that their information-gathering power is increasing.

This reporter tried to avoid listing the current price in North Korea in this article. The price fluctuation and the regional differences in price are so great that, at this point, there is no such thing as a fair price. (*This situation is the same in February.) The North Koreans who were reported unanimously say: "Right now we just have no idea about what's what."

Truly, North Korea has now entered into chaos that North Koreans themselves have difficulty understanding. Even after more than a month since the reform, there is no sign of this chaos abating. (*At this point, three months after the reform, North Korea regime unconditionally allowed the marketplace to open in order to calm this chaos. In the end, the only solution for the chaos was to go back to where things were before the reform.)

That is the magnitude of the shock that the currency reform caused on North Korea. Can the North Korean regime stabilize this chaos and restore planned economy? Taking away the taste of market economy from those who already tasted them may be a Mission: Impossible. (*Conclusion -- Within three months, it has been proven that North Korea made an impossible challenge. It has also been proven that now, North Korea can never return to the planned and controlled economy.)

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@gmail.com.

Affirmative Action and Asian Americans: the Korean's Take

Dear Korean,

Perhaps you’ve already seen this, but I found this column interesting. I wondered what your thoughts are on this.

Kimberly


Dear Kimberly,

Thank you for the article – the Korean found it interesting as well. The full article is worth reproducing here, because it does present an issue that many Asian Americans consider to be significant.

SAT SCORES aren’t everything. But they can tell some fascinating stories.

Take 1,623, for instance. That’s the average score of Asian-Americans, a group that Daniel Golden - editor at large of Bloomberg News and author of “The Price of Admission’’ - has labeled “The New Jews.’’ After all, much like Jews a century ago, Asian-Americans tend to earn good grades and high scores. And now they too face serious discrimination in the college admissions process.

Notably, 1,623 - out of a possible 2,400 - not only separates Asians from other minorities (Hispanics and blacks average 1,364 and 1,276 on the SAT, respectively). The score also puts them ahead of Caucasians, who average 1,581. And the consequences of this are stark.

Princeton sociologist Thomas Espenshade, who reviewed data from 10 elite colleges, writes in “No Longer Separate, Not Yet Equal’’ that Asian applicants typically need an extra 140 points to compete with white students. In fact, according to Princeton lecturer Russell Nieli, there may be an “Asian ceiling’’ at Princeton, a number above which the admissions office refuses to venture.

Emily Aronson, a Princeton spokeswoman, insists “the university does not admit students in categories. In the admission process, no particular factor is assigned a fixed weight and there is no formula for weighing the various aspects of the application.’’

A few years ago, however, when I worked as a reader for Yale’s Office of Undergraduate Admissions, it became immediately clear to me that Asians - who constitute 5 percent of the US population - faced an uphill slog. They tended to get excellent scores, take advantage of AP offerings, and shine in extracurricular activities. Frequently, they also had hard-knock stories: families that had immigrated to America under difficult circumstances, parents working as kitchen assistants and store clerks, and households in which no English was spoken.

But would Yale be willing to make 50 percent of its freshman class Asian? Probably not.

Indeed, as Princeton’s Nieli suggests, most elite universities appear determined to keep their Asian-American totals in a narrow range. Yale’s class of 2013 is 15.5 percent Asian-American, compared with 16.1 percent at Dartmouth, 19.1 percent at Harvard, and 17.6 percent at Princeton.

“There are a lot of poor Asians, immigrant kids,’’ says University of Oregon physics professor Stephen Hsu, who has written about the admissions process. “But generally that story doesn’t do as much as it would for a non-Asian student. Statistically, it’s true that Asians generally have to get higher scores than others to get in.’’

In a country built on individual liberty and promise, that feels deeply unfair. If a teenager spends much time studying, excels at an instrument or sport, and garners wonderful teacher recommendations, should he be punished for being part of a high-achieving group? Are his accomplishments diminished by the fact that people he has never met - but who look somewhat like him - also work hard?

“When you look at the private Ivy Leagues, some of them are looking at Asian-American applicants with a different eye than they are white applicants,’’ says Oiyan Poon, the 2007 president of the University of California Students Association. “I do strongly believe in diversity, but I don’t agree with increasing white numbers over historically oppressed populations like Asian-Americans, a group that has been denied civil rights and property rights.’’ But Poon, now a research associate at the University of Massachusetts Boston, warns that there are downsides to having huge numbers of Asian-Americans on a campus.

In California, where passage of a 1996 referendum banned government institutions from discriminating on the basis of race, Asians make up about 40 percent of public university students, though they account for only 13 percent of residents. “Some Asian-American students feel that they lost something by going to school at a place where almost half of their classmates look like themselves - a campus like UCLA. The students said they didn’t feel as well prepared in intercultural skills for the real world.’’

But what do you do if you’re an elite college facing tremendous numbers of qualified Asian applicants? At the 2006 meeting of the National Association for College Admission Counseling, a panel entitled “Too Asian?’’ looked at the growing tendency of teachers, college counselors, and admissions officers to see Asians as a unit, rather than as individuals.

Hsu argues it’s time to tackle this issue, rather than defer it, as Asians’ superior performance will likely persist. “This doesn’t seem to be changing. You can see the same thing with Jews. They’ve outperformed other ethnic groups for the past 100 years.’’

Which leaves us with two vexing questions: Are we willing to trade personal empowerment for a more palatable group dynamic? And when - if ever - should we give credit where credit is due?

Do Colleges Redline Asian-Americans? (Boston Globe)

As the article described, Asian Americans present a dilemma to colleges. In practically every objective admission criterion colleges tend to examine, Asian Americans destroy the field. At this point, even the Asian American stereotype of “math genius but not well-rounded student” is outdated. Asian Americans parents have long since figured out and adjusted their educational emphasis to what the elite colleges demand. The new generation of Asian American college applicants are modeled after Dr. Jim Yong Kim, the current president of Dartmouth College. They are class presidents and varsity quarterbacks on top of being valedictorians.

 

Dr. Jim Yong Kim, a.k.a. "Every Korean Mother's Dream"

So Asian Americans have high test scores and GPAs. Their extracurricular activities are excellent. They have shown leadership qualities. They often do this while being at a substantial disadvantage in terms of family wealth and other background, such as overcoming the language and cultural barrier. In other words, there is no “objective” way for a college to refuse an Asian American applicant, other than drawing a blatant – if unspoken – red line that limits the number of Asian Americans, simply by virtue of their race. Is this a good thing?

You might be surprised, because the Korean actually does think it is a good thing.

First of all, allow the Korean to first state his preferred end result: meritocracy must be an important element in college admissions. The meritocracy must involve clearly stated criteria such as test scores, quality of extracurricular activities, quality of letters of recommendation, and so on. And the Korean is not advocating that college campuses mirror exactly the local or national racial mix. There must be some sort of middle ground. The Korean does not know where the proper middle ground is. But the middle ground is probably not the 55 percent Asian American campus as it is in University of California, Irvine.

To explain why the Korean thinks so, allow the Korean to quote John Dewey: “Education is not a preparation for life; education is life itself.” Because the Korean experienced two drastically different educational systems (Korean and American,) the truth of Dewey’s quote resonates even stronger with him. In fact, many of Korean educational system’s flaws (despite its numerous strengths) can be traced to this: Korea treats its schools as a place where students prepare for the real world, as opposed to treating it as the real world in and of itself. Thus, learning knowledge is emphasized, while learning social skills gets a short shrift.

The same principle must apply to colleges. College is not a meal ticket given for a certain set of “good behaviors”. It is a place where one receives education. And if colleges do not adequately reflect the “life itself” as Dewey said, they cannot provide adequate education.

 

Education that solely relies upon what is taught in the classrooms is incomplete at best.
(Not that Columbia University, pictured here, has anything to do with that.)

And the inescapable feature of American life is that Americans constantly deal with other Americans who can be very different from them. This difference need not be racial or cultural. The difference can originate from geography, social class, gender, sexual orientation, or any old thing. However, to ignore the need to handle racial and cultural differences in American life is to put blinders on one’s eyes. And obviously, the skill of handling racial and cultural differences in American life will not come solely through classroom education, if it comes at all in that manner. Students need to learn this skill simply by being around people who are drastically different from them.

Obviously, the differences that need to be represented cannot only be racial. Colleges (especially elite ones) must strive to replicate to some degree – not exactly, mind you – the larger American society in every manner. It needs to have geographical representation, wealth representation, sexual orientation representation, you name it. The more difference elite college students encounter, the better education they will receive.

The Korean draws this conclusion from his own experience. He is firmly convinced that University of California, Berkeley is the place that made him the person that he is today. Berkeley did so by providing a very diverse student body. For the first time in his life, the Korean met someone from Decatur, Alabama – the home of the second largest Wal-Mart in the world, according to him. A former amateur boxer who started college at age 25. A blind person who ended up becoming a school tour guide by memorizing the script in Braille and walking backwards with her cane pointing the other direction. A future NFL starting quarterback. An heiress who has a building on campus named after her family. Meeting and interacting with them gave the Korean a much more nuanced appreciation of the country and the world in which he lived.

 

The greatest college in the world.

One of the Korean’s favorite college memories is this: The Korean was friends with a charismatic deaf person who ended up serving as the Executive Vice President of the student government that oversees over 30,000 students. His friend was such a socially adept smooth talker that, other than the hearing aid on his ears and his pitchless voice typical of a deaf person, the Korean hardly noticed that his friend was much different from him.

One day, the Korean went to the beach with his friends. After dark, we set a bonfire, sat around it and talked. Because the fire was hot on his face, the Korean spoke with his two hands cupped around the lower part of his face, without thinking much about it. But whenever the Korean talked, the Korean’s friend waved his hand at the Korean, as if he was brushing something aside. The Korean did not understand. After a few seconds, finally another friend explained: “Justin can’t read your lips if you cover your face like that.”

It was a minor episode at the time, but somehow it stayed in the Korean’s mind. It was such a little thing that the Korean himself did not even perceive, but that little thing blocked out the entire communication for Justin. You would think that someone who moved from one country to another at age 16 would be able to appreciate the differences in radically different people. But the moment that stays with the Korean’s head had nothing to do with his experience of adjusting wholesale to a completely different culture. It had to do with his experience of something that was nearly imperceptible at the time but somehow resonated greater and greater until it became a personal philosophy-defining moment.

This is what education should be. Ideal education would provide everyone with this type of moment. Boston Globe columnist Kara Miller’s last question is a perfectly fair one: “When - if ever - should we give credit where credit is due?” The Korean does not know exactly where that line should be. But that is hardly a reason for not having a line. With help of research and experts, we engage in dicey line drawing all the time. (For example, why is the speed limit on some highways 65 mph, not 60 mph or 70 mph?) The line should be drawn at the point where Asian Americans students, like all other students, receive a meaningful education in living in a highly diverse society. And if meritocracy must take a less-than-100 percent role in the determination of who gets a chance to be educated in one of hundreds of elite universities in America, that’s how it should be.

After the jump, a couple of quick hitters that did not exactly fit anywhere.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@gmail.com.

Live Blogging Winter Olympics: February 25, 2010

Some more impressions...

- Ditched work early, came home at around 9:15 p.m. Was nearly blown away from the insane snow and wind. Did the Korean mention New York weather sucks?

- Damn near had a heart attack to find the DVR was not working. Fortunately, regular TV worked, and figure skating did not happen yet. In fact, it would not happen for more than an hour.

- Instead of watching Nordic Combined again, the Korean opts for California v. Arizona basketball on ESPN while having dinner. Menu: kimchi jjigae and pajeon, courtesy again from the Korean Mother.

- Bears own the Cats. Go Bears! Jerome Randle is a stud. Too bad we will be killed the moment we run into any team with interior size in the Tourney.

- Flip the channel right on time for figure skating. Time to get nervous.

- This is rare. NBC seems to know that Kim Yu-Na vs. Mao Asada is a big freakin' deal. The introduction plays this up to the max, showing cross-clips of Yu-Na and Asada and repeatedly mentioning how significant the "rivalry" is between Japan and Korea. The Korean is not sure if "rivalry" is the right term. Cal-Stanfurd is a rivalry. Kobe-LeBron is a rivalry. Korea-Japan... that's something else, whatever it is.

- A lady with a super long last name from Georgia takes the ice. Proceeds to fall four times during the show. Slightly comforted by the fact that Yu-Na probably won't be this bad.

- Shit. Did the Korean just jinx Yu-Na? Unthink! Unthink!

- Mao looks determined during warm-up. Yu-Na looks relaxed. Don't know which one is the good sign.

- Rachel Flatt takes the ice. Seems to do everything well. Somehow could not buy into her facial expression that was anything other than smiles.

- Apparently Flatt is going to Stanfurd. No wonder the facial expression is terrible.

- Ooh, Flatt got her jumps downgraded and does not even lead with better skaters ahead of her. Not good. Shouldn't have gone to Stanfurd.

- Ando Miki comes on with a hideous ancient Egyptian-themed dress. Half-expected the fashion police would swoop in on a Zamboni. Rare feat to be offensive with a costume that belongs to people who no longer exist.

- There is no energy in Ando's performance. The Korean thought maybe he was missing something, but the announcers immediately say that Ando is just "going through the motions." Well then.

- Yu-Na comes on. Apparently her pre-show routine includes cleaning boogers -- she did the same before the short program as well. Further proves that pretty girls can do basically anything in public and get away with it.

- Again, just don't fall. Please.

- The dominance of Yu-Na is really obvious. She goes into her jumps so fast that the entire routine appears much more natural. She also has the perfect physique with long limbs.

- Yes! No falling! Yu-Na is happy with herself, and the announcers are practically unconscious with praise. Now, the score...

- HOLY CRAP!! 150.06!!!!! 228.56 OVERALL!!!! EVEN YU-NA CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!! IT'S ALL OVER!!!!

- Salieri Charles Barkley Mao takes the ice.

- The Korean Mother: "She needs to play within herself and just do the best she can instead of trying to do more than that."

- Everything about Mao at this moment is about intensity. Music, dress, facial expression, everything. Even her smile looks like it could kill someone.

- Triple axel, and another one. Damn amazing, no matter how many times the Korean sees it.

- Disaster! Mao's skate gets caught in the ice, and she can't jump the way she intended to. Now it's really over.

- Mao waits for her score. The graphic says: "154.79 to lead." It looks ridiculous, as if someone told the Korean: "With only $ 59 billion, you will be richer than Bill Gates."

- Yu-Na leads Mao by TWENTY-THREE POINTS. Unbelievable. Just unbelievable.

- Joannie Rochette's turn. Don't remember anything about this. Still delirious from TWENTY-THREE POINTS.

- Mirai Nagasu comes on. Again with the single-lines-for-eyes smile, but now a little scary how she could go there from a look of serious intensity in an instant, on command.

- Nagasu has some of the qualities that make Yu-Na great. Smooth, artistic, a little bit of magnetism. She finishes fourth, and looks happy. She will be great in Sochi. U.S.A.! U.S.A.!

- It's official, Yu-Na is the champion. Tears of joy from Yu-Na. High-five between the Korean and the Korean Mother. The Korean Fiancee's victory text message: "228.56= Gold medal for Yu-Na Kim. I've never been so happy to be a Kim!!!!"

- Medal ceremony. Rochette looks happy. Mao looks pissed. Looked like she did not even want to touch Yu-Na when they hugged.

- Aegukga, until East Sea and Mt. Baekdu dries and wears down flat. Flags raised, Taegukki on top. Winning feels so great.

- Congratulations Yu-Na, and thank you. You did all of us proud.

Got a question or comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@gmail.com.

Why is StarCraft Popular in Korea?

Dear Korean,

What caused Starcraft's popularity in Korea?

Cristiano E.

Dear Korean,

What's with Korean people and their obsession with Starcraft? Every Korean I know or met loves Starcraft. They are obsessed with it. Why is that?

Sam

Dear Korean,

Why are Korean people so infatuated with Starcraft? It seems to more a part of Korean culture now than just a simple computer game. Please tell me what makes Starcraft so special for Korea.

Brian/Starcraft fan

Dear Korean,

How popular are pro-Starcraft players over there, really? Do regular non-Starcraft junkies recognize them on the streets? I know some of them make quite a bit of money, but I'm curious if they're actually recognizable icons to people who aren't part of the Starcraft fandom. Sort of like how you don't have to be a fan of golf to know who Tiger Woods is.

Lance

Dear Questioners,

It is unquestionable that StarCraft is extremely popular in Korea more so than any other country. Even though the game was released in 1998, the popularity of the game is still going strong for a game that is 12 years old – a virtually unprecedented event in a field like video games where a life cycle of even the most popular games (like the Madden NFL series) does not usually exceed more than a year. As of early 2008, 9.5 million copies of StarCraft were sold worldwide, and Korea accounted for 4.5 million copies of those sales.

 

Terran is victorious.

But the popularity of StarCraft in Korea far exceeds just the number of copies sold. StarCraft enabled the world’s first pro gaming league to happen in Korea – Korea Pro Gaming League (KPGL), established in 1998. (However, this league no longer exists.) There is not one but two cable television channels dedicated to broadcasting matches between pro gamers, often playing StarCraft. There are live matches in a specially built studio/stadium, which sometimes draw as many as 100,000 people. To answer Lance’s question, pro gaming in Korea is about as popular as pro poker leagues in America. The biggest names among pro gamers in Korea – say, Im Yo-Hwan or Yi Yoon-Yeol – have about the same name/face recognition in Korea as Phil Hellmuth or Howard Lederer has in America.

 

Im Yo-Hwan, one of the top pro gamers in Korea

A video game that engendered an entire industry is simply unheard of prior to StarCraft. And like all rare events, the current popularity of StarCraft in Korea took a lucky confluence of a number of factors – some unique to Korea, some not. Just for fun, the Korean will explore this phenomenon chronologically backwards. In other words, we still start from the current explosion and work our way back in time, until we can identify what earlier factors contributed to the phenomenon that we see today.

Pro Leagues and TV Stations

The most recent development would be the establishment of pro gaming leagues and cable televisions. Once these institutions came to being, the popularity of StarCraft became a self-sustaining force. People talk about it because it is on television, and television keeps on showing it because people talk about it. People practice the game because the gaming league pays well, and the gaming league pays well because people watch the games, again because the games are on TV.

For an equivalent American phenomenon, think Avatar. Avatar was a movie that had absolutely nothing special. The computer graphics of the movie, while impressive, is not significantly advanced from 2001, when Final Fantasy and Shrek came out. (The difficulty of rendering the mud bath scene in Shrek still makes the Korean’s jaw drop.) At most, Avatar was not a noticeable improvement over Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, which was made entirely with CGI except for the actors. In fact, one could make a convincing argument that among the movies in the 2009-10 season, the computer graphics in District 9 was more impressive than Avatar, because District 9 more thoroughly blended computer-generated images with regular people and scenery where human eyes are more likely to detect things that look “off”. On the other hand, in Avatar, it was a given that everything happened in an alien planet where everything looks different. In the few scenes of Avatar where the CGI and regular actors interacted – like when the chief was fighting soldiers on the backside of the bomber – the CGI quality deteriorated significantly.

 

This type of scenes, where CGI and regular actors interact, 

was the vast majority in District 9, but less than 10 percent of Avatar

Also, Avatar showed precious little originality in using its admittedly impressive CGI skills – the images of a big, life-giving tree comes from Lord of the Rings and Princess Mononoke, the floating mountains are from Laputa: Castle in the Sky, riding a dragon-like thing from every single RPG game in the history of mankind, and so on. And finally, the storyline was so stupid and banal that it surely did not warrant the multiple New York Times article psychoanalyzing it.

 

Look familiar? Miyazaki Hayao's Laputa: Castle in the Sky was released in 1986.

But people will nonetheless talk about Avatar, only because people talk about it. This is how hype is made in today’s pop culture. Once something – anything! – enters the hype machine, its popularity will be self-sustaining until it falls out of the hype. (For another example, think Snuggies – one of the dumbest inventions that ever went mainstream. But it sounds kinda good, because everyone is talking about it!)

Back to the topic of StarCraft: the presence of dedicated gaming leagues and cable televisions were crucial for the hype machine to operate. And it is not difficult to imagine why these things came about – they came about because people thought there was money to be made by setting up leagues and dedicated TV stations. In America, Travel Channel and ESPN2 (particularly late night) have turned into dedicated poker channels. Better yet in Korea, there was already a model for a pro league and cable TV stations dedicated to a game. Guess what the game is?

The best board game in the world

The game is go, known as baduk among Koreans. While go is recently giving ground to other online games, more than 20 percent of Korean adults know how to play go, a relatively complex game. And truly, the popularity of go in Korea has no American equivalent, as far as board games are concerned. There are professional chess leagues in America, but there is no cable TV station showing their match. In Korea, professional go players are superstars (much, MUCH bigger than pro gamers) playing international league games against top players from China and Japan, earning a ton of money and enjoying a lot of media exposure. Even people who don’t know how to play go in Korea have generally heard of the names Yi Chang-Ho and Yi Se-Dol, like the way a non-sports fan in America still has heard of Tom Brady and Kobe Bryant. By the Korean’s estimation, go might be the second most popular “sport” in Korea behind baseball, ahead of soccer. (Except during World Cup.)

So the gaming league and TV stations came because StarCraft was popular, and there was a ready model to emulate. Then what caused StarCraft’s popularity to a level such that the popularity caused people with money to invest in such ventures?

Further explanation, after the jump.

Got a question or comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@gmail.com.

What is the State of ESL Teachers in Korea?

Dear Korean,

I came across this article today in the Los Angeles Times concerning the Anti-English Spectrum and English language teachers in Korea. Is this simply a homegrown, right-wing nut group, similar to what one can find in the U.S. and other countries, or are ESL teachers in Korea really this problematic?

John C.


Dear John,

Where does the Korean begin? This issue has the potential to blow up in the Korean’s face in any number of ways, since many of AAK! readers are ESL teachers in Korea who are sensitive to this issue. So the Korean must begin with his clear and unequivocal position on what he thinks about Anti-English Spectrum (AES):

The Korean thinks that AES is a nut group. Its leader engages in stalking ESL teachers, and exhorts others to do the same. Having a group like AES is an embarrassment for Korea. It needs to go away.

But the influence of AES needs to be put in perspective. Korean society most certainly does not endorse stalking anyone, and Koreans who care about the situation – including AES members themselves – have roundly criticized this tactic.

Nonetheless, even an unsavory group like AES could serve as an indicator of how things are – and failure to recognize how things are comes at a cost. For example, most liberals derided and dismissed “birthers” who dominated town hall meetings in America and claim that Barack Obama was not an American citizen. Obama is obviously an American citizen, but that is not the important part. Liberals should have realized that many people in America were deeply pissed off at Obama for whatever reason, and that many Americans were willing to latch onto any dumb reason to vent their hate. Instead of sincerely exploring what was angering these people, many liberals blamed their usual parade of horribles – Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly, racism, dumb rural Americans, you name it. And the result now is that liberals have frittered away their dominating advantage by losing the Senate seat that was held by the icon of American liberalism for decades.

Laughing at them is easy. But figuring out why they do this is the right thing to do. (Source)

(Here is the Korean’s unsolicited advice to future politicians and pundits: Never, never, never assume that people are stupid. They are not. There are stupid individuals in the world, but a group of people is never stupid. If you don’t understand why people are doing certain things, you are the one who is stupid – not the people.)

So what can the existence of AES tell us about the state of ESL teachers in Korea? Right now, Koreans are feeling deeply uneasy about their new reality – that there are many in Korea who do not look like them, affecting them in a way that they do not necessarily like. This uneasiness feeds into the tension between Koreans and ESL teachers. This tension right now is still mostly under the surface, because most Koreans are reasonable enough not to express that tension like AES does. However, there is always a chance that the underlying tension could blow up, sparked by a certain event. Therefore, it would be important to understand the factors that feed into the tension, and neutralize them in any manner we can.

The Korean believes that there is no party with clean hands in this situation – (some) Koreans and (some) ESL teachers must share the blame. To that end, the Korean prepared “blame scorecards” – the laundry list of everything wrong that everybody has done (that he can think of.) First up is Korea.

Blame Scorecard:  Korea

· Half-baked Policy to Bring in ESL Teachers – This is the action that began the entire cycle. ESL teachers came to Korea as early as early 1980s, but the ESL teacher population exploded in the last 10 years or so. (As recently as 1988, there were barely over 1,000 non-Korean ESL teachers in the entire country.) This happened because as English education became more emphasized in Korea, Korean government loosened up the visa requirements for people who are known as NSETs (= native-speaking English teachers.) As a result, more than 20,000 NSETs entered Korea every year since 2002. For a country that has never experienced mass immigration, this was a very significant number.

But, as governments often do, Korean governments set up regulations that emphasized quantity over quality, which means they did not properly filter out unqualified NSETs – which blew up with the case of Christopher Paul Neil. Neil, an internationally wanted child molester, was arrested in Thailand after having fled from Gwangju, Korea, where he worked as an ESL teacher. When these loopholes were exposed, the government overreacted and swung to the other direction, requiring drug and HIV testing (that it did not require for Korean teachers) that nearly amounted to harassment.

Also, Korean government did not anticipate what should have been reasonably anticipated – that importing such a huge number of people to work in an area that Koreans care so, so much about (i.e. English education) -- would cause a lot of friction. Initially there was no real training that would get the ESL teachers ready for living and doing their job in a culture that can be radically different. Even though there are more trainings offered in recent years, they tend to be done in a manner Korean government is known for – bumbling and haphazard.

The idea to bring NSETs to assist in English education was not a bad idea. But Korean government’s execution of that idea was simply terrible. Problems that could have been avoided through reasonable anticipation were (halfway) mended instead through trial-and-error, pissing off everyone involved in the process.

· Bad Behaviors from Employers of the ESL Teachers – It is no secret that education business in Korea is very lucrative, which means it sometimes attracts unscrupulous characters who really should not be anywhere near education, period. Well, it was no secret to Koreans anyway; not so much for NSETs. Many ESL teachers were blindsided by the fact that their employers would cut corners and rip them off at any chance possible. To this day, the horror stories of ESL teachers getting ripped off by their employers are a dime a dozen on the Internet. (For example, here.) Not paying salaries? Arbitrarily changing schedules? Refusing to provide health insurance (as they are legally required to do)? Generally reneging promises? You name it, it’s there.

Even places that are otherwise reputable, like the public school system, sometimes give into the temptation of screwing over ESL teachers, since ESL teachers have a harder time fighting back compared to Korean teachers.

· Poorly planned use of ESL teachers – Even in cases where Korean schools act with the best of intentions, they often put ESL teachers in a position to fail. Particularly at public schools, ESL teachers are supposed to be co-teachers with a Korean teacher. Often there is poor communication between that Korean teacher and the ESL teacher, leading to confusion and resentment on the part of both sides. Many schools have no orientation process and simply tell the ESL teachers to go to it and teach the children. Considering that most ESL teachers do not have a previous teaching experience, much less experience in teaching English to non-English speaking children, they often fail even with their best efforts, frustrating everyone involved in the process.

· General racism of Korean society – As the Korean said previously, Korea was not (and still is not, although to a lesser degree,) a place where its people are used to dealing with race relations. This often conflicts sharply with ESL teachers who are from countries that are more more accustomed to dealing with race relations. (e.g. United States.) Because of this inexperience, Koreans often do not hesitate to ascribe particular characteristics to a given racial group and judge the entire race – which is exactly what racism is. Once a few bad apple NSETs emerged, the idea that every NSET is a drug-sniffing child molesters began to gain some traction in Korea, which made NSETs in Korea to feel unfairly persecuted. It also does not help that news media in Korea often play on Koreans' xenophobia by writing sensationalistic but factually dubious articles every now and then.

· Jealousy of Korean young men – This factor is not often discussed, but is very significant in understanding the actual people who fuel the tension. Korea has had a chronically high unemployment rate among young adults, which has been recently exacerbated with the global recession. These young adults – particularly men – are right now forming a very pissed-off social group. They have sacrificed much in their lives – grueling schools, going to college, serving their military duty, etc. – for the promise of having a good job. Understandably, not having a job after all the tribulations makes these young men very angry.

NSETs often provide a convenient target for their rage. ESL teachers are generally a group of young people who have no better education than Korean young people, but somehow they get a cushy job that pays well (by Korean standards) simply by virtue of being born into speaking English. On top of that, NSETs never served in the military.

Another thing – do you know what happens when a guy doesn’t have a job? A lot of things, but one of them is that he doesn’t get a date very often. And when you are young, few things matter more than getting a date. So when male ESL teachers flaunt the fact that they date Korean women (more on this below) – well, you can imagine the rest.

These men are most certainly not the majority in Korea, but the ability for these men to sway the public opinion is not to be discounted. They are generally tech-savvy, and all they have is time. According to a study by Naver – Korea’s largest search engine, with a format similar to Yahoo! – less than 1 percent of the people who view a news article leave a comment on the article. Predictably, 76.7 percent of all comments are men, and 61.1 percent of them were under 30. But the astonishing part is this: 3.4 percent of all commenters generated more than 50 percent of the comments. In other words, less than 0.0034 percent of all news viewers generated more than half of all comments. But that is enough to make the government overreact and put in restrictive policy towards ESL teachers, making them feel unwelcome in the process.

But again, the ESL teachers are not free from blame either. More blame game after the jump.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@gmail.com.

AAK! Music: Around Thirty by Kim Gwang-Seok (1994)

-NOTE- Blogger is acting up. There are two videos on this post, but somehow you can only see them if you click the title of this post and bring up this post only. Do that to listen to the song. Sorry.

Today's selection is Around Thirty (서른 즈음에) by Kim Gwang-Seok (김광석):

서른 즈음에

Around Thirty

또 하루 멀어져간다

Another day drifts away

내뿜은 담배연기처럼

Like exhaled smoke

작기만한 내 기억속에

In my memories so small

무얼 채워 살고 있는지

What do I fill and live on

점점 더 멀어져간다

Drifts farther and farther away

머물러있는 청춘인줄 알았는데

Thought it was staying youth

비어가는 내 가슴속엔

In my emptying heart

더 아무것도 찾을 수 없네

Nothing more can be found

계절은 다시 돌아오지만

Seasons again return

떠나간 내 사랑은 어디에

But where my love that left

내가 떠나보낸 것도 아닌데

I did not let it leave either

내가 떠나온 것도 아닌데

I did not leave it either

조금씩 잊혀져 간다

Forgotten little by little

머물러 있는 사랑인줄 알았는데

Thought it was staying love

또하루 멀어져간다

Another day drifts away

매일 이별하며 살고 있구나

Living on saying good bye every day

매일 이별하며 살고 있구나

Living on saying good bye every day

Briefly about Kim Gwang-Seok:  Kim debuted in 1984 as a part of a band called 노래를 찾는 사람들 ("People Who Seek Music"), which played a large part in Korea's democratization movement by providing many songs with the underlying message of resistance. He later quit the band and debuted as a solo in 1989, after a short stint as a guest member of a band called 동물원 ("Zoo"). Kim goes on to have more than 1,000 live concerts from 1989 to 1995, a record of some sort. He has two albums with 동물원, four regular solo albums, and two compilation albums. Tragically, Kim committed suicide in January 1996, at the age of 34 -- perhaps the earliest example of celebrity suicide in Korea. Kim was more underground, and his songs were never chart-toppers. However, since his death, there have been five tribute albums in his name, reflecting the broad and everyday appeal of his music. 

About this song:  서른 즈음에 is on Kim's fourth and last regular album. In a survey of 40 pop music experts in 2007, 서름 즈음에 was selected to have the most powerful lyrics of the songs of 1990s. The responders said: "Listening to the song automatically makes you look back upon yourself."

Translation note:  작기만한 내 기억속에/무얼 채워 살고 있는지 was particularly difficult.

The Korean on Kim Gwang-Seok:  The barer of Korean soul of late 1980s. Unlike, for example, Kim Dong-Ryul, Kim Gwang-Seok's songs are always situation-specific, and never leaves the emotions of Korea in the 1980s -- no longer desperate for food and freedom, but vaguely afraid of what lies ahead. Even a song that could be more universalistic like this one, knowing what it likes to be facing 30 years of age in Korea of late 1980s doubles the emotional strength of the song.

Kim also represents the last scion of Korean pop culture up to mid-1990s, when a singer could be a star without having to appear on television or go through a production company. His songs are always simple, at times deceptively so -- just a guitar and his unassuming but clear voice. He would be the last of his kind, as a man who would forever change Korean pop music (for good and for bad) was gaining a mythological status right as Kim left this world.

After the jump, another video of Kim Gwang-Seok singing Around Thirty before a live audience.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@gmail.com.

Earthquake in IT?

Dear Korean,

Why do Koreans refer to Haiti as 아이티 (A-ee-ti)? My understanding is that the Haitian pronunciation contains an "H" sound. I imagine it would have been easy to replace the '아' with a '하'. Is it simply a matter of a single individual's (perhaps someone in the media) pronunciation mistake carrying over to an entire nation? I believe there are other instances of inexplicable pronunciation modifications, but this one seems particularly timely. Of course, I may be wrong about the native pronunciation. I don't believe there's an H sound in French. Is Aiti the correct pronunciation? Is it the English-speaking world that has it all wrong?

Eric M.

Dear Eric,

It is indeed the English-speaking world that has it all wrong. Check out this video of an IMF representative pledging support to Haiti in French.

No "H" to be found in Haiti -- the man pronounces like he is saying "IT".

And you are correct that Koreans refer to Haiti as "A-ee-tee". For example, at this link, you can see the news of an NGO called "Good Neighbors" delivering supplies to people of "아이티".

What comes into play here is Rule of Foreign Words Transliteration established by the National Institute of the Korean Language (국립국어원). Just like L'Academie francaise, NIKL governs all things related to Korean language, including how words that did not originate from Korea are supposed to be written. The overarching principle of the rule is to transliterate the words as they are pronounced in their language. Specifically, the Rule of Transliteration provides a chart that matches up the International Phonetic Alphabet to Korean characters, with more detailed rules in different languages such as English, Spanish, Japanese, French, etc.

The Korean likes this rule because it shows respect. Although Korean language sometimes has a separate name for a famous city in a foreign country -- for example, Sang-Hae (상해) for Shanghai (상하이) or  Dong-Kyeong (동경) for Tokyo (도쿄) -- under this rule, Koreans are supposed to write them as 상하이 and 도쿄, not as 상해 or 동경. (In contrast, English-speakers have no qualms for calling Munchen as "Munich" or Praha as "Prague".) Calling a different country/culture with the name that they gave to themselves shows a lot more respect than calling with the name that we came up for them.

But it must be noted that, despite the good intentions, this rule is really hit-or-miss in practice. Because of some arbitrary elements in the rules, Korean transliteration of an English-based word is often unrecognizable, even accounting for the fact that certain sounds in English do not exist in Korean. This is particularly worse for American English pronunciation, because NIKL apparently based its rule on British English -- you know, where English came from originally. The result is that even though there may be better ways to transliterate things in Korean, following the rule gives out the worse transliteration.

For example, one such arbitrary rule is that you cannot use ㄲ, ㄸ, ㅃ, ㅆ, ㅉ in transliteration, but use ㅋ, ㅌ, ㅍ, ㅅ, ㅊ if necessary. Another rule is that when p, t, k is followed by a consonant, the Korean vowel ㅡ needs to be attached to p, t, k. So the word "sickness" is transliterated as 시크니스 under the rule, while 씩니스 would be much closer to the actual pronunciation. Another arbitrary rule is that [ou] in the International Phonetic Alphabet should be transliterated with 오 ("o"). Under this rule, the word "boat" is transliterated as 보트, while 보우트 might be closer to the actual pronunciation.

From the Guardian (UK)

At any rate, this is not important. What's important is what is happening in Haiti. Did you donate? It's fast and easy: text HAITI to 90999, and you can donate $10 to the Red Cross in the relief effort.

-EDIT 1/25/2010- To complement the Korean's near-total ignorance of French, David from Ask a Frenchman! came to the rescue. Here is the Frenchman's comment:

Just one detail, the guy is not just "an IMF representative" but he is Dominique Strauss-Kahn, the current Director of the IMF, former Minister of Finances (1997-2002) and Minister of Industry (1991-1993) in the French government, and possibly future French President (in the current polls he'd win if the elections were these days).

Concerning Haiti, the name is originally a Taino name meaning "Mountain in the Sea" or something like that and it didn't have a "H" in its pronunciation, the H appeared when it was first written (by the French) but keep in mind that in French, H is never pronounced (only in "ch" pronounced like "sh" in English). Thus, the original, and subsequent French pronunciation (French still being the official language of Haiti -with Haitian Créole) is something like "A.E.T" in English (that's what Strauss-Kahn says in the video, although it could sound like "IT".

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com.

The Korean's English Acquisition, and the Best Method to Master a Foreign Language, Guaranteed

Dear Korean,

My name is The English Teacher. The English Teacher has a question for The Korean. The English Teacher read the Korean's recent post about the interesting 바보 Ray. In that post, The Korean said that he came to America at the age of 16, without knowing English. The English Teacher can judge by The Korean's prose that his written English is for all intents and purposes, perfect (unless The Korean employs an editor to raise said prose, which The English Teacher thinks is unlikely). The English Teacher wonders about The Korean's spoken English. Do people know that The Korean is a non-native speaker when they hear him talk? If so, how noticeable is The Korean's accent? How old is The Korean, if he doesn't mind The English Teacher asking?

As a teacher of English to Korean high-school students, The English Teacher is merely curious about how much he can expect from his students, and what he can tell his students when they ask how much improvement they will see if they go to the US to study English.


The English Teacher


Dear English Teacher,

The Korean is very happy to see the third-person speak catching on. It is the Korean’s wish to have AAK! sounding like a discussion among enlightened pro wrestlers.

But yes, the Korean did come to America at the age of 16 years and 8 months. He is now 28 years and 10 months old. But saying he came “without knowing English” is an exaggeration, since the Korean received regular English education in Korean public schools before he came to the U.S. (Although many readers would know that does not mean a whole lot.)

And no, AAK! does not have a copy editor. (But that does not stop the grammarians from emailing the Korean with grammatical mistakes in his post. Keep them coming!) As to the Korean’s spoken English, you can be the judge. Here is an interview that the Korean did with UCLA radio about Barack Obama’s election. People who hear the Korean have said that he has a West Coast accent, characterized by slightly slower speech and a stronger r sound. The Korean also has a fairly obvious Korean American inflection. (Not a Korean accent, mind you – those who have spoken to many second generation Korean Americans know what the Korean is talking about.)

Map of American dialects, based on the PBS special Do You Speak American?

To give a self-assessment, the fact that he learned English relatively late still subtly bothers the Korean in certain situations. The Korean has a really hard time reading people’s handwritings unless they are extremely neat, because he just has not seen enough of them growing up. Also, he often stumbles on scientific/medical terms that persons with his education would generally know. (For example, the Korean can never remember which leg bone is the “femur”.) Idioms give the Korean a hard time as well – it took him years to figure out what the phrase “cut the cheese” meant. The Korean still hates talking on the phone in English because he has to concentrate extra hard compared to speaking face-to-face. Careful readers of AAK! also may have noticed that the Korean still slips up on the usages of articles and prepositions.

But in the grand scheme of things, all of the foregoing are just minor annoyances. The Korean obviously feels pretty comfortable in English, and he rarely has a difficult time expressing any concept in English.

Would the English Teacher’s students be able to do what the Korean did? The Korean thinks they can, although it won’t be easy. The Korean will describe his English acquisition below. Despite his commendation of the third-person speak in the beginning, the Korean will now switch to first person – because this process was a rather personal affair.

How the Korean learned English, and the Korean’s guaranteed method of achieving fluency in another language, after the jump.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com.

Best of the Worst 2009

Here is another round of the best of the worst emails sent to the Korean, with the Worst Email of 2009 Award at the end. Again, these are all real emails from real people, with absolutely no edit other than adding the first name.

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We have a Korean American lady here at work that is very friendly um she always smiles at me and waves but carefully

 I am not sure if she is interested or just being extra nice her face seems to light up when I am around and she always makes prolonged eye contact she is attractive and I am sure she probably could get a date quite easily more in her age

 I  would love to be better friends with her but just think it would be odd  since I am about 20 years older than her I am not sure what to make of it  sure I  am very attracted to her  but I don't get to close cause I an 46 and she is 27 

we are both single but I was raised a catholic witch always make you feel guilty for being attracted to some that much younger   I will probably never approach her because of this and Its been a very long time since I asked any one out on a date or to  her ask if she is interested  and  we don't bump into each other  every day

but when we do It sure ad's excitement to my day I have wrote off a couple of times to being just being overly nice and pleasant

I think she just very nice person but every now then she'll get wave and I get self conscious cause she always seems to go out of the way say hello

- John F.

John, the blog is called Ask a Korean. You are supposed to ASK something, creepy old man. 

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Can you give websites where I can check these plumbers and the plumbing industry. Which government sector do they belong? Thanks.

- Ivy M.

Ivy, as the most Internet savvy country in the world, every toilet in Korea comes equipped with the TiSP technology. It belongs to the Ministry of Information and Sanitation, at www.secureshitter.go.kr.

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I am a black man.

I know you probably get this a lot, but here it goes.

I am truly sorry that we (as black people) are SO ignorant to even try to be helpful in society, so even though my apology will not warrant anything, I want to say I AM SORRY.

sorry for being ignorant to you and your brothers and sisters, Sorry for not trying to learn what makes all of us truly different, and consequently realize how much alike we are deep inside.

sorry for choosing money and women out of internationalfamily or brotherhood.

sorry for blaming everyone else for our problems, and I know I wish I could blame all of mine on everyone else; but really, I am sorry that this country is so secret in trying to eliminate all of us. we are in the 90% and truly I will fight anyone who is a threat to my brothers and sisters, you who are included in that number, with many whites, hispanics, and asian, etc.

We only want to belong, because we have lost our Identity, so we created our own through hip hop

we are lost, and we need help to regain family and unity

I am not a college guy, I am nothing more than a producer

and a day laborer

I just want to say, talk to those who would listen

help point those who need direction, the right way.

I am proud that you all maintain your morality through all of these dark times.

Let me say that it will only get worse, but know that I love you

as a brother,

a friend

and for our mother earth

and God

in his many great names but the one true name

the Creator of all things

blessings to you

and to those who would create them for themselves.

- Rick H.

Rick, the Korean can assure you that he does not get this a lot at all. God bless you too.

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Hello,I wonder if you could answer my questions about Jumong,the series are being showed in my country recently.

1.when did Lady Yesoya die?(how many years did she live after Jumong?)

2.Does the name Yesoya and Sosoeno  has a special meaning?

3.Did Sosoeno leave the palace by her own will at the end?

Thanks alot in advance

- Ladan A.

Ladan, the Korean dislike ruining the end of the show. That’s just rude.

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I need your help I work with korean people and I feel very attach to them since they been so nice to me. I recently got into an argument with one of then and I feel really bad I feel so bad that I want to quit my job but  I know that if I quit it will affect them more since they speak very little english  and spanish. What can I do since I am very hurt and yet I am still there .

Thanx

- Mayra G.

Mayra, in this economy, there will be many who will be happy to fill in for you.

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Im a woman trapped inside a man's body. Is there any place where i can get a sex change in Korea? About how much would that be?

- Rex P.

Umm….

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Dear Korean,

My girlfriend is Korean and I am American.  I am a tad younger than her and, for the most part, our sexual experiences are amazing.  We have had concurrent orgasms several times.  However, sometimes, while we are making Love, she gets in a tremendous amount of pain.  I should say that she is 41.  Can you help me?

- Justin B.

No, Justin. No.

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Dear Korean,

When people think "white" they tend to picture an American, or at least, a westerner.

But obviously people can be Asian-American, or African-American.

So that said, I was wondering if a white person born in, say, Japan or Taiwan would be considered a white asian?

- Elizabeth C.

First, you tell the Korean how many angels can dance on top of a pin.

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Hi:  I own an entertainment company and need a Korean performer(s) for tomorrow morning in Boston for a corporate event.  Could you call me as soon as you get this message?  I really appreciate it.  You might know who to put me in touch with.  Thank you

- Craig S.

Craig, the Korean is afraid of clowns.

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pls read the pic for me. is it the name of any company? pls help me.......

- Arun C.

Arun, it is indeed the company that makes virtually everything in Asia – the company’s name is “Quality Certified”. You will find their products all over Japan.

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Hi,

    I saw your blog on the net and i just wanna ask some help.. hmmm..
can you share to me on how to look like a korean.. using some
eyeglass how to choose a eyeglass to look like a korean and some tips for the hair
too.. my hair is like this .. http://poenyaqoew.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/200611020909114201d3vh0.jpg, or like this ..
it looks like this when i used blower
http://sookyeong.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/mclee8645_39940383.jpg ...

and how to dress like a simple korean guy..

btw I'm Red from Philippines..
19 years old guy.. ^^

Thanks!

- Reden M.

Red, you seem pretty Korean already. Nice tie in the second pic. Where did you get it?

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Hi!  What are the best hostess bars in Flushing and/or Manhattan?  Thanks.  Pat

- Pat W.

Pat, your mom wanted to keep her business on word-of-mouth basis only.

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  Hey, My name is berenice and i'm mexican and I live in u.s.a New york and i been living here for 13 years. And I STILL DONT have papers nor  visa nothing.  And i want to go and live in korean and get acting classs over there. I know some engilsh. But i want to move over there really bad in korean cause is so beautiful. I want to get prepare over there. and take singing class but i ONly have mexico passport. and ID . can I still move over there and get this opportunity. I have husband who believes in my dream and that could send me money. Let me know is that all you need to move other. Or is there another way? Please help me cause it seems is the only way. Please write me soon.

- Berenice

Thirteen years in America, and you STILL DON’T know how to write in proper English. Good luck learning Korean.

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I have a Korean!!! o como se diga..jejeje
¿Pregunta al coreano? mmm y no puedo pedir directamente uno?? jijiji..


YO QUIERO UN KOREANOOO!!! jajajajaja que te doy la direccion de casa y me lo mandas por mensajeria privada o tengo que ir a recojerlo a correos??
Y puedo pedir algun oppa en concreto ?? ..mmm... pos si puede ser Gong Yoo , T.O.P.  o  So Ji Sub te lo agradeceria en el alma... o bueno si hay que pagar un plus por ellos está hecho!!

Aqui me quedo en españa esperando contestacion eh??

Annyong!!

P.D.: quien dice un coreano, dice dos o tres... no hay problema, yo les hago sitio en casa.. :P

- Uxia P.

Querida Uxia, ?cual es mas extrano – hecho de que usted esperaba que El Coreano entenderia espanol, o de que el puede?

(Dear Uxia, which is stranger – that fact that you expected the Korean would understand Spanish, or that he can?)

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Illegal alien having a baby in US with a US citizen and want to go back to mother country with the baby.

is it possible?

- Anonymous Coward

Anything is possible. Just do it.

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Korean -

I have married a Korean woman.  It has been a mostly pleasant experience, however, her feet stink.  Not just a slightly foul odor but some kind of clinical stink, like some smell created in a laboratory.  What is it about the Koreans that make their feet smell this way and how can I reverse its effects? 

I know you won't let me down. 

Thanks. 

- Jay O.

Jay, non-Koreans may not know this, but when you mix han and jeong, you end up with some nasty funk that comes out through feet. Rub some kimchi on it.

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im mixed with black and white asian girls hate me why

- Anonymous Coward

Probably has something to do with your personality. And the fact that you ask dumb questions.

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Can the Wonder Girls, SNSD, Super Junior, SHINEE, and Kara come to Westminster Mall in California and go to Asian Garden Malll at Westmister also. If some or one or all can come to these places, give me a call at [PHONE NUMBER] and tell me the date. by the way i am a kid. Thank You. From Amanda from California.

- Amanda T.

Sweetie, please never give away your phone number to an anonymous blogger ever again. Even if he promises Wonder Girls.

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And now, drum roll please – the winner of the Worst AAK! Email of 2009, after the jump.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com.