Showing posts sorted by relevance for query more korean name. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query more korean name. Sort by date Show all posts

Monday, December 28, 2009

Ask a Korean! News: Japan Pays 99 Yen Pension to Former Forced Laborers

First, the Korean must give credit when credit is due. Recently, Korea-Japan relation has been markedly better ever since Japan elected a new prime minister, Yukio Hatoyama. In a meeting with Korean president Lee Myeong-Bak, Prime Minister Hatoyama said, “We have the courage to face up the history and resolve our issues.” He also said in a seminar in Singapore, “Now, even after more than 60 years since Japan has caused great damage and pain to many Asian nations and their people, one cannot think that true reconciliation has been achieved.” Given these remarks, the Korean had high hopes for what Mr. Hatoyama would achieve.

But problem for the Japanese government has not been that it was unwilling to apologize. Contrary to what many Koreans mistakenly believe, Japan did apologize several times for its imperial past, most notably in Murayama Danwa issued by then-Prime Minister Tomiichi Murayama in 1995. The problem has been that the Japanese government, and the Japanese society as a whole, had trouble maintaining that stance of contrition.

Well, same ol’ story now – Japan went one step forward with Mr. Hatoyama, and two steps backward:
The Japanese government fanned anger among Koreans after news came this week that it sent 99 yen ($1.08), or 1,280 won, in welfare pension refunds to Koreans who were used as forced laborers during the Japanese colonial occupation of the Korean Peninsula.
Japan offers $1.08 to the laborers it conscripted

More information is available in the Korean version of the Dong-A Ilbo article. Additional analysis is available here and here, all in Korean.


Former South Korean forced laborer Yang Geum-Deok, 81, who worked at Mitsubishi Heavy Industries, cries during a rally in front of the Japanese Embassy in Seoul.

First, in a controversial issue like this one, it is very important to get all the facts straight. The women who claimed the pension refunds were forcibly conscripted to work for Mitsubishi Heavy Industries during World War II in Osaka, Japan for about a year when they were 13 to 14 years old. They were not paid for their labor, but they were automatically enrolled in a pension fund. In 1998, they claimed for the pension from Japan’s Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare, which oversees pension plans. Eleven years later, MHLW recognized that these women were indeed enrolled in a pension plan, and paid them 99 yen each – the absolute amount to which they were entitled in 1945, when World War II ended.

“Wait” – history buffs and reflexive Japan apologists might say – “what about the 1965 Treaty on Basic Relations between Japan and the Republic of Korea? Does it not ban individual claims of compensation for the wrongs committed by Imperial Japan during war time?” Indeed, the Japanese government takes the position that the unpaid wages were considered paid under the Basic Treaty. But MHLW thought about this for eleven years, and apparently decided that the Basic Treaty does not cover unpaid pension funds, which is governed by Welfare Pension Insurance Act. And because that law does not provide for indexing to the inflation rate, it decided to pay 99 yen – about a dollar – to the claimants.

Those are the facts. Now, let us sift through the moral aspect of this story. First, a fair share of the blame must be assigned to the dictator-president Park Chung-Hee who sold out his people and signed the Basic Treaty, and the subsequent Korean governments that failed to uphold its obligation under the Basic Treaty to be in charge of distributing the funds that Japanese government provided.

But irrespective of the merits of the Basic Treaty, the overriding fact remains very clear – Japan committed the original wrong of annexing Korea and put Korean people through a war not of their making, causing immense suffering through war time conscription, forced labor, comfort women and human experimentation. And simply signing the Basic Treaty does not make Japan appear to be a reformed character by any stretch of imagination – not when Korea was under duress for any modicum of aid; not when the signor on the Korean side is a dictator who came to power illegitimately through military coup and rigged elections; not when hundreds of thousands of Koreans protested in opposition to the Basic Treaty such that the Park dictatorship had to declare a martial law; not when the Japanese government got off the hook simply paying $200 per survivor ($1,351 in 2009 dollars) and $2,000 per injury, while the German government pays a lifetime pension to survivors of the Holocaust.


Picture from Unit 731, a Japanese military outfit that conducted live human experimentation. Various weapons were tested on more than 3,000 prisoners and civilians. This test subject went through a biological weapons testing. More Unit 731 pictures can be seen here.


Consider O.J. Simpson, for example. By now, we are more or less certain that he killed two people. But in 1995, a lawful process found that under criminal law, he was not guilty of the two murders that he was alleged to have committed. Another lawful process found he was responsible for the wrongful death of one of the two murders that he was alleged to have committed, and he paid a large sum of money because of that verdict. Are Americans not outraged because a lawful process found Simpson somewhat responsible for the murders and Simpson paid a substantial sum of compensation? Of course not. If O.J. now said, “Don’t look at me! I did everything that I was legally supposed to do. If anything, you should be blaming Lance Ito, Chris Darden or Mark Fuhrman for not doing their job right,” would any of us be any less outraged at him? (Does anyone even remember who Ito, Darden or Fuhrman are anymore?)

The same here. It is fair, and may even be fashionable, to blame the Korean government and/or Park Chung-Hee to some degree for the fact that the Korean people who suffered under the Japanese rule were not compensated. But at the end of the day, it is the party that committed the original crime that deserves the most outrage. Japan was never supposed to annex Korea and subject the Korean people to the aforementioned suffering, period. Regardless of what the Korean government/Park Chung-Hee did, there is no denying that Japan got off laughably easy, considering that in both Japan and Korea, wrongful death claims settle at much, much higher cost than around $11,000 per each death – which is what Japan paid under the Basic Treaty in 2009 dollars.

Having said all that, let us fire up the outrage afterburner. What is truly outrageous is that the Japanese government does not seem to care at all about the optics of their actions regarding its colonial past, much less the feelings of the victims involved. To its credit, the Japanese bureaucracy found that those who were enrolled in a pension plan deserved their pension money, regardless of the Basic Treaty. But the crass amount of 99 yen – not even enough to get one bus ride in Tokyo – instantly made a mockery of whatever credits it would have deserved. It really should not have taken a rocket scientist to figure out that paying out 99 yen after eleven years would look terrible. Eleven years! Couldn’t they have spent just one day of those eleven years to think about how to make this decision look better?

What is amazing to the Korean is that over and over again, Japan does not seem to understand how terrible it looks as this decades-old saga goes on. It is as if the country as a whole suffers from some type of brilliant autism, creating beautiful machines and arts while being completely oblivious to how others perceive its actions. And this historical autism is clearly causing harm. We need not even discuss the obvious human tragedy – namely, the anguish of those who suffered under Imperial Japan who have never received any meaningful compensation – because that is too obvious, and the Japanese government has shown time and again that it really does not give a shit about causing that harm. This historical autism is hurting Japan in another measurable way – by discouraging partnership with a rising regional economic power that is Korea. (And China, for the same reasons.)

This damage to Japan is not an idle imagination. It is a mistake to think that Korea’s nationalism causes Koreans to hate Japanese people or Japanese products. Koreans are nationalists like Americans are Christians – in their everyday lives, they generally do not give much thought about whether or not their action violates their ideological/religious principles. And while no Korean will admit this in a direct answer, Koreans are actually ready to love Japan. Koreans already consume Japanese products in droves despite incredibly high tariffs. Japanese cartoons are so popular in Korea that they essentially merged in as a part of Korean culture. You cannot have a conversation with hipster Koreans without watching the latest Japanese movies and dramas. The only thing – literally, the last possible thing – that is holding Koreans back from completely embracing Japan is that Japan is constantly provoking their nationalist sentiments that Koreans are generally happy to ignore otherwise.

Lexus dealership in Gangnam, Seoul. In 2009, Lexus ES is the second most popular imported car in Korea, trailing only BMW 528.

In fact, this is the perfect time for Japan to make a Godfather offer regarding its past history to Korea – an offer that Korea can’t refuse. What if the Prime Minister of Japan offered this to the President of Korea next year, at the 100th anniversary of the annexation?

“Mr. President, Japan wishes to have a fruitful partnership with Korea toward the future, and we recognize that Japan’s handling of its historical issues so far has been a roadblock for that partnership. Now that a century has passed since the annexation, we wish to resolve the historical issues once and for all. To that end, I propose the following:

(1) Japanese government will establish a pension fund for all surviving Koreans who suffered during the Imperial Japanese rule, which will pay pension to all survivors and their children until they die. Korean government can name the price as to how much each individual will get.

(2) The Prime Minister will re-issue an even stronger worded apology than Murayama Danwa, and will be made available to personally deliver a letter of apology and personal visit to every Comfort Women survivor. Each survivor can name her own form of apology desired from me. I will kneel and bow as long as it takes.

(3) Japanese government will pass a hate speech law similar to those existing in Germany where Holocaust denial is a crime. Anyone who denies the damages caused by Japan’s imperial past will be punishable by fine.

(4) No one who is in the cabinet of the Japanese government will be allowed to visit the Yasukuni Shrine. Instead, the Japanese government will fund and maintain a memorial museum dedicated to displaying Japan’s war crimes, and the Prime Minister will make a yearly visit. There will also be a scholarship established to fund students who study Japan's occupation of Korea.

(5) All history textbooks in Japan will be written by a joint committee consisting of both Japanese and Korean scholars. I hope Korea will do the same.

(6) And lastly, just to let you know I am serious, right here is a declaration from the Japanese Parliament that says Dokdo belongs to Korea. Take those islets – they are yours. And think about our offer.”

Dokdo/Takeshima/Liancourt Rocks

This truly is an offer that Korea cannot refuse. It more or less addresses all of Korea’s complaints’ about Japan’s treatment of its history. And it would be an incredibly daring gambit that, in the end, would cost Japan very little in practical terms. Even if Japan were to pay enough money to the survivors and their children to make them not lack anything for the rest of their lives (around $200,000 a year will do the trick,) most of Korea’s wartime survivors are dead and even their children are old. Building a museum and maintaining a scholarship, in the grand scheme of things, cost next to nothing. The fishing rights by gaining Dokdo/Takeshima could potentially be significant, but there is no way Japan can have them in the foreseeable future at any rate.

But what Japan will gain from it is incredibly significant. This will not be an easy offer to make without offending the Japanese nationalism, but that is exactly the point. By disarming Japanese nationalism, Japan can legitimately claim the moral high ground for the first time since the end of World War II. On that high ground, Japan can finally put Korean nationalism on trial. Because really, the dirty little secret in the Korea-Japan relation is that some Korean politicians just love having a whipping boy in Japan to stir up nationalist sentiments that serve as an instant support/distraction. If the Korean government waffles even just a little bit facing this offer, the Japanese government can finally claim legitimately that it has done everything it could, and it is Korea’s political opportunism that is getting in the way of true reconciliation.

If the Korean government accepts the offer – and it can’t not accept, if it is offered this – the payoff for Japan is massive. The japanophiles in Korea will finally have the guilt-free conscience to indulge in Japanese products. Allied with Korea, Japan can be a much more meaningful counterbalance against China. By jointly writing history books, Japan can directly influence the way Koreans think about the occupation and the aftermath. In the long run – when the memories of the occupation fades enough for Koreans not to have a gag reflex over the idea – Japan and Korea can enter into a free trade agreement or even a NATO- or EU-like alliance.

The benefit for Korea under this offer should be obvious. Its people can be finally compensated adequately without the embarrassment of hashing out the terms of the Basic Treaty. It can finally have a historical closure, and move on. At this point, Korea no longer has to worry about being annexed or otherwise controlled by Japan because its position is incomparably stronger relative to that at the turn of the 20th century. Given this, a close partnership with Japan could lead to Korea's being a world power, at last -- something that Korea has dreamed of since the independence.

Will this happen? Of course not. File this under “The Korean’s Cockamamie Proposals That Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time,” next to the Korean’s preferred immigration policy. But the Korean’s larger point is this: at this point, Japan really needs to do something about its past. Year 2010 will be the perfect time to do something. Missing this opportunity will not only be a moral outrage (again), but also a huge cost to the future of Japan.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com.

Friday, March 18, 2011

A Retrospective on Identity: State of a Gyopo at Age 30



Thirty is probably the age that causes the most trepidation among Koreans. Thirty means much more than the pressures for a job and marriage from your parents. It is an occasion for a deep reflection about your life. It is not a coincidence that one of the most iconic Korean pop songs is titled "Around Thirty." For Koreans around thirty, Kim Gwang-Seok's soft voice, singing "Another day drifted away/Like exhaled smoke," rings truer than ever.

Confucius said that thirty is the age at which he established himself. By saying this, Confucius is not simply saying that you should move out of the basement of your parents' home by the time you are 30. He means that by 30, you should have a good idea of who you are. You should establish yourself, your identity.

Today, I turn 30 years old. Also, I have lived in America for 13 and a half years. Given that I spent the first few years of my life in Korea without much awareness, I would say the time I spent in Korea and the time I spent in America are approximately equal. All this makes a great time for me to reflect on how I came to establish my own identity as a Korean American.

More after the jump.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Best of the Worst 2010 - Part III: Worst Email of the Year Revealed! (And it is VERY NSFW)

And here we go into the grand finale -- the worst email of the year! But first, some very worthy runners-up.  Again, all emails are real, and are copied/pasted verbatim except for people's names.

Strange Tasting Spams

re: Booking for a dance class

would like to book for 2 weeks classes for 3 hours each day Monday to Saturday for a group of 10. We are asking for 3 hours per day for 2 weeks - Monday - Saturday. A total of 36 hrs. We would be coming over for holiday and as part of our plans we need dance classes/private lessons in ANY of the following area Ballet, belly dance and Pre-Dance as well as Salsa, Swing,Ballroom and Tango. Do you have a training studio/facility where you conduct the classes? Do you have rooms or is there any hotel close to your facility? DATE: 6TH February 2010 TO 20TH February 2010.
The group would be performing for a group of family members over there. I would love to get the total cost or a quote/estimate. What are your payment options? Do you accept credit cards? I would be grateful if you will be willing to do the work to teach quality classes and make us happy.


Regards,

Amanda Nichole

The Korean misses the good old days when spams were about an African millionnaire dying in a plane crash.

re: Your prompt response will be appreciated

Hello,

I am Davis klean i would like to book reservation for accommodation and lunch for 10 workers that will be coming for vacation on the 12th April to 22th july 2010.

If you have vacancy for the specified period, give me the total cost of 10 single or 5 double rooms for 10 nights for the 10 guests. Please give us your rates,for the entire period, and get back to me with the grand total for the period of time i requested.

Your prompt response will be appreciated.
Thanks for your co-operation.

Regards.

Davis klean

Sure, the Korean has five double rooms for your workers ... in your mama's ass.

re: Coach Brazilian Football

Hi Mr,
Please check my resume the football.

Coach Brazilian Football - Claudio Roberto Silveira.


Along with the resume, these pictures were also attached.




The Korean would have thought fake Brazilian reporters would be hotter than that lady.

re: hello am jennifer can we meet pls

hello
My name is Jennifer Peter.I am 27yrs old,i graduated At (Arizona State University)ASU where i studied banking and finance and now am planning to work in any of the bank.I am leaving with my uncle in Liverpool, but I have been happily single,It is time to move on. Family is very important to me. I can cook, clean, I am attractive and outgoing. I consider myself to be balanced, well-rounded,and from a close family.I Believe life is not a spectator sport - Because life is short, I work hard and play hard Am a happy person, and believe happiness comes from within Find good conversation more stimulating than a strong cup of coffee Family is very important to me - Love to dance,Am a creative and good cook Volunteer because it warms my soul My favorite cities: New York, Los Angeles,London,Chicago Favorite Movies: When Harry Met Sally, James Bond movies,The Godfather, Love Story, and films that "move me" Wouldn't survive without frequent and generous doses of laughter Appreciate "marvelous imperfections", and believe we all love imperfectly Believe true love is unaffected by time,space and distance...

My love life is very real and i try to take my time to acquire one.My being single introduced me to internet dating because it worked so well for a good friend of mine. I belief in true love as it develops. Am very romantic and I enjoy dancing and dining out at least once a week especially with a partner who understands true romance. I actually love romantic men..I haven't been doing that too much lately since i have been single for a while now. I hope I found him already.

I am the only child of my family,I am looking for a man who is gentle, warm, sensitive, kindhearted, compassionate, generous, supportive,loving, understanding, honest, trustworthy, open, adventurous, strong,courageous, spontaneous, outdoorsy kinda guy, funny, playful,passionate, sensual, sexy, attractive, witty, charming, physically fit, emotionally stable, financially stable, caring, loves animals, his family,friends. Someone who is spiritual and believes in helping others. Someone who I can share my thoughts, feelings ideas with and he shares his with me.A man who is strong, yet tender; supportive, yet doesn't mind being supported and cared for. A man who wants to Love me & be Loved by me. I hope you are an honest man because the most important characteristics to me are compatibility and friendship. I'd like to know if you are an open minded person, honest and easy going. A sense of humor is a big plus. I hope we'd have some shared interests and goals, as well as some similarities in opinion about what's important in life. I would love to find out if you are a true caring someone that I could have a very deep relationship with and be able to just feel the Light when we are together. I'm hoping you would be a like minded partner to share life with. Well, I think that gives you a little idea of who I'm looking for.

My hobbies are listening to music,reading,playing table tennis,cooking and hanging out with friends and relatives,watching movies and traveling.
I was born in Illinios, my Dad was killed in a construction accident when I was quite young. When I was still a teenager, my Mother had cancer and I took care of her until she passed away. I was still under 27 before both were gone.I am presently residing with my uncle in Liverpool,UK does it sound familiar?

So I guess thats that about me you can as well ask me any other thing you want to know i will be more than glad to answer any of your questions as for you please tell me more about yourself lets start with your full name?location?kind of work you do for a living?about your family?hobbies and tell me about your dream woman,seeeking casual or serious relationship?Do you have any Pic you can email to me?

My pics is attached below..

Would love to hear from you soon.....


Here are some pictures of Jennifer Peter.

The Korean might have cheated on his wife and flew over to Liverpool if Jennifer Peter did not name her pics "Graphic 1" and "Graphic 2".

Korean Wave Hit You in the Head

re: Hello

How can I find someone who look like Gu Jun Pyo of Boys Before Flower?

Maria G.


Two words: human cloning. It will only take 20 some odd years to grow a Gu Jun Pyo.

re: from Brittany

Hi, my name is Brittany, nice to meet you. I have a questiion. I'm think of meeting SUper Junior Sung Min and wanted to ask him out on a date secretly, What should I do to keep a secret so people I trust won't scandalize about all over the public? It scares me and makes me very angry when people do that. What should I do to date Sung Min secretly when people don't know nothing about it. I can meet Eun Hyuk and Lee Tuek and ask EUn Hyuk to go with him to his dorm and meet Sung Min.


Brittany, do you see this nice little cart here? You do? Good. Now look back. The tiny dot waaay behind that cart is a horse. And inside that horse's behind, there is your head.

re: HI

Do you know how to get ahold of Rain? The man in Ninja Assassin?

Gigglez Rose


Sure, the Korean will just look through his speed dial... Dammit, never mind. That number is for Rainn Wilson.

More ridiculousness after the jump. (WARNING -- R-rated materials ahead.)

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@gmail.com.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

"What's his name? I don't know, I can't read his neck."

Dear Korean,

I'm planning on getting a tattoo in Korean. I'm Korean so its legit, but I just want to know why most Koreans find tattoos so offensive. My mom is totally against it and will kill me if she finds out.

Lina

Dear Korean,

I recently earned my Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do. I am very proud of my accomplishment, and was also considering getting a tattoo to commemorate the years of perseverance and hard work it took to acheive that goal. I thought it would be fitting for the symbol to be in Korean, as I understand Tae Kwon Do originated in Korea. I don't, however, want to be one of those fools who has 'dumbass' tattooed on their body when they think it means 'indomitable spirit'!! What are your thoughts on this trend, and do you think it would be offensive or shocking to a person if Korean heritage? I don't mean to be a Korean 'wannabe', just proud of my accomplishment. The tattoo definitely won't be on my neck!!

C


Dear Lina and C,

This post about Prince Fielder's neck tattoo in Korean is really what made this blog take off (and not any of the Korean's erudite and well-reasoned observations on culture -- sad, but the Korean will take whatever he can get.) "Korean tattoo" is one of the most common Google search terms for this blog, along with "ask a korean", "korean men" and "korean porn."

First, a little bit about tattoos in Korea generally. Simply put, tattoos are just not a Korean thing to do. Traditionally (starting from 15th century or so), Korean people strictly followed this Confucian teaching: "Keep your body whole, for it is given to you by your father and mother." Even cutting hair or shaving was forbidden in an effort to keep your body whole. (Women put their hair in various decorative braids; men put their hair in a single knot that was tied at the top of their head, and wore a headgear that kept the knot in place.)

Korea was modernized eventually, but attitudes about making marks on one's body did not change much. (Except, of course, for plastic surgery lately.) Yet tattooing was in fact fairly common in a nearby country that all Koreans hate more than anyone else -- you guessed it, Japan. Organized criminals in Japan used extensive tattooing in order to mark the "families" to which they belonged, and organized criminals in Korea began to mimic such practices. As a result, until very recently, only people who had tattoos in Korea were thugs. Below is a picture of freshly arrested organized criminals in Korea.



So it really should not be surprising that Koreans have a very negative attitude toward tattooing. How negative is it? Being of a non-doctor tattooist is actually illegal in Korea, and carries roughly $3,000 of fine because tattooing is "unlicensed medical practice." (This law is not very often enforced, but it's in the book.) Excessive tattoos on a body is one of the ways to get out of the mandatory military service for men, along with torn ACL, missing index finger and schizophrenia, because excessive tattoos "create disharmony in the unit."

But like everything, attitude toward tattooing in Korea is changing recently. Henna tattoos are very available near any college campus, just like the U.S. It is not difficult at all to find tattooists in the middle of Seoul -- although they still mostly operate in the shadow. Fashionable tattoos are generally accepted among the young generation of Korea -- but don't expect older Korean folks to like you if you got sleeves.

What about Korean tattoos in the U.S.? Would a tattoo in Korean on a non-Korean person be offensive? In the Korean's opinion, probably not. For Koreans, non-Koreans operate in a separate plane of reality -- "our" rules don't apply to "them". After all, these foreign barbarians don't bow to their elders and keep their shoes on in a house -- who cares if they want to look like criminals? If anything, a tattoo in Korean would be mildly amusing to an average Korean, since Korean people don't expect non-Koreans to know anything about Korea. A Korean tattoo would signal your interest in Korean culture, however minimally, so it would not necessarily be a bad thing.

What does the Korean think about all this? That's a tough question. The Korean himself has no objection to tattoos in general. The Korean hates it when people get Asian letters just for the sake of their "exotic" appearance, because that's the precisely the type of attitude that keeps Asian Americans from feeling comfortable in America. But recently, like C, tattoos in Asian lettering often show a genuine attempt in understanding more about Asian culture -- the Korean welcomes that.

And then there's the "gut reaction" problem. Americans generally don't get a tattoo in plain English because plain words are not cryptic enough -- it's just not interesting. The gut reaction of an average American, if she saw the words "perseverance" tattooed on one's chest in Times New Roman font, would be that it looks silly. Well, the Korean can read Korean and Chinese, so tattoos in Korean and Chinese are not cryptic at all. So the Korean's gut reaction toward such tattoos are that they just look stupid. This is what the Korean wrote when he first saw Prince Fielder's neck tattoo: "It is as if some regular Korean dude was hanging out and drinking with Prince Fielder one night, then Fielder passes out, and the Korean dude picked up a marker and wrote it on his neck as a joke." The Korean can never shake that feeling whenever he sees a tattoo in Asian characters.

At any rate, what the hell do you care about what the Korean thinks? If you want a tattoo in Korean, go nuts. Just make sure it doesn't say "dumbass".

Got a question or comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Live Blogging Winter Olympics: February 25, 2010

Some more impressions...

- Ditched work early, came home at around 9:15 p.m. Was nearly blown away from the insane snow and wind. Did the Korean mention New York weather sucks?

- Damn near had a heart attack to find the DVR was not working. Fortunately, regular TV worked, and figure skating did not happen yet. In fact, it would not happen for more than an hour.

- Instead of watching Nordic Combined again, the Korean opts for California v. Arizona basketball on ESPN while having dinner. Menu: kimchi jjigae and pajeon, courtesy again from the Korean Mother.

- Bears own the Cats. Go Bears! Jerome Randle is a stud. Too bad we will be killed the moment we run into any team with interior size in the Tourney.

- Flip the channel right on time for figure skating. Time to get nervous.

- This is rare. NBC seems to know that Kim Yu-Na vs. Mao Asada is a big freakin' deal. The introduction plays this up to the max, showing cross-clips of Yu-Na and Asada and repeatedly mentioning how significant the "rivalry" is between Japan and Korea. The Korean is not sure if "rivalry" is the right term. Cal-Stanfurd is a rivalry. Kobe-LeBron is a rivalry. Korea-Japan... that's something else, whatever it is.

- A lady with a super long last name from Georgia takes the ice. Proceeds to fall four times during the show. Slightly comforted by the fact that Yu-Na probably won't be this bad.

- Shit. Did the Korean just jinx Yu-Na? Unthink! Unthink!

- Mao looks determined during warm-up. Yu-Na looks relaxed. Don't know which one is the good sign.

- Rachel Flatt takes the ice. Seems to do everything well. Somehow could not buy into her facial expression that was anything other than smiles.

- Apparently Flatt is going to Stanfurd. No wonder the facial expression is terrible.

- Ooh, Flatt got her jumps downgraded and does not even lead with better skaters ahead of her. Not good. Shouldn't have gone to Stanfurd.

- Ando Miki comes on with a hideous ancient Egyptian-themed dress. Half-expected the fashion police would swoop in on a Zamboni. Rare feat to be offensive with a costume that belongs to people who no longer exist.

- There is no energy in Ando's performance. The Korean thought maybe he was missing something, but the announcers immediately say that Ando is just "going through the motions." Well then.

- Yu-Na comes on. Apparently her pre-show routine includes cleaning boogers -- she did the same before the short program as well. Further proves that pretty girls can do basically anything in public and get away with it.

- Again, just don't fall. Please.

- The dominance of Yu-Na is really obvious. She goes into her jumps so fast that the entire routine appears much more natural. She also has the perfect physique with long limbs.

- Yes! No falling! Yu-Na is happy with herself, and the announcers are practically unconscious with praise. Now, the score...

- HOLY CRAP!! 150.06!!!!! 228.56 OVERALL!!!! EVEN YU-NA CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!! IT'S ALL OVER!!!!

- Salieri Charles Barkley Mao takes the ice.

- The Korean Mother: "She needs to play within herself and just do the best she can instead of trying to do more than that."

- Everything about Mao at this moment is about intensity. Music, dress, facial expression, everything. Even her smile looks like it could kill someone.

- Triple axel, and another one. Damn amazing, no matter how many times the Korean sees it.

- Disaster! Mao's skate gets caught in the ice, and she can't jump the way she intended to. Now it's really over.

- Mao waits for her score. The graphic says: "154.79 to lead." It looks ridiculous, as if someone told the Korean: "With only $ 59 billion, you will be richer than Bill Gates."

- Yu-Na leads Mao by TWENTY-THREE POINTS. Unbelievable. Just unbelievable.

- Joannie Rochette's turn. Don't remember anything about this. Still delirious from TWENTY-THREE POINTS.

- Mirai Nagasu comes on. Again with the single-lines-for-eyes smile, but now a little scary how she could go there from a look of serious intensity in an instant, on command.

- Nagasu has some of the qualities that make Yu-Na great. Smooth, artistic, a little bit of magnetism. She finishes fourth, and looks happy. She will be great in Sochi. U.S.A.! U.S.A.!

- It's official, Yu-Na is the champion. Tears of joy from Yu-Na. High-five between the Korean and the Korean Mother. The Korean Fiancee's victory text message: "228.56= Gold medal for Yu-Na Kim. I've never been so happy to be a Kim!!!!"

- Medal ceremony. Rochette looks happy. Mao looks pissed. Looked like she did not even want to touch Yu-Na when they hugged.

- Aegukga, until East Sea and Mt. Baekdu dries and wears down flat. Flags raised, Taegukki on top. Winning feels so great.

- Congratulations Yu-Na, and thank you. You did all of us proud.



Got a question or comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@gmail.com.

Monday, September 08, 2008

The Ultimate Korean Looks List – How to Pick Koreans from Other Asians Just by Looking at Them

Dear Korean,

So many people tell me they can tell the difference between Asian groups (i.e. Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, etc). I can't. Are there REALLY distinctive physical features that can instantly tell a person's nationality, and what are they?

Joanne


Dear Joanne,

Are there really distinctive features among Asians? Yes. Yes. A thousand times yes.

It is a skill that requires subtle differentiation. It is like tasting for difference in Merlot and Shiraz. If you were a first time wine drinker, you may not notice. However, once you get the difference, you would not be able to tolerate the philistines who do not see the obvious differences.

While the Korean has his own way of telling apart all Asian ethnicities, he will only write about how to tell Koreans apart from other Asians, since he only claims to be an authority on Koreans and no other ethnicity.

To be clear, this is an attempt to distinguish various Asians just by looking at them. More obvious indicators like looking at people’s last names or listening to their languages/accents are omitted for the purpose of this post.

Many, many thanks to our great associate editor who provided brilliant points that the Korean missed.

Disclaimer

But first, the Korean must put out some important disclaimers, since the Korean has a feeling that this post is going to get him into a lot of trouble. Here it goes:

1. The Korean already knows that broad, stereotypical generalizations are often incorrect, and insulting to those who do not fall into that generalization. But please realize that this post does NOT contain that type of generalization.

In other words, the Korean is never saying that “All Koreans are X or Y.” Rather, he is saying that “People who have X or Y traits tend to be Koreans.” The Korean thinks this is a fair statement, as there are certain things that Koreans do that few other Asians do. Although the list may seem to sound otherwise at times, please know that the Korean never intends to say "All Koreans are X or Y."

2. The Korean also realizes that on the blog, it is sometimes difficult to tell if the Korean is serious or joking. Well, there should be no question about it in this post: THIS POST IS MEANT TO BE IN HUMOR. Please do not get upset.

How to Use the List

1. With many Asians, there is no single feature that gives away their ethnicity. Often, it is multiple factors adding up. Therefore, the Korean assigned “Confidence Level” to each category, ranging from 1 through 5. Weigh different confidence levels to calculate the probability, and make the most probable prediction.

2. This list would show that the strongest indicators are related to fashion and style. Therefore, it may not be very applicable with Asian Americans, because Asian Americans slowly assimilate their style into the mainstream American fashion. How far assimilated depends entirely on the individual; one Korean American’s fashion would be indistinguishable from Koreans in Korea, and another Korean American’s fashion would be indistinguishable from your boy/girl next door. Therefore, this list is most applicable to: Korean tourists, older Korean Americans (because they tend to retain more from their original country), and recently immigrated Korean Americans (ditto). With many Asian Americans, this list would be of little help.

3. Even when everything seems to point to one direction using the list, and the sum of confidence level is totaling in 100, you will often be wrong nonetheless. Just think how ridiculous it is to characterize the looks of 73 million Koreans worldwide! The Korean considers himself to be as good as anyone, but his success rate is about 75 percent, tops. Again, please don’t take this exercise seriously.

Enough chitchat—onto the almighty list!

The Ultimate Korean Looks List – How to Pick Koreans from Other Asians Just by Looking at Them

The Big Distinction – Let’s first make sure that you can tell East Asians (= Chinese, Japanese, Korean) and Southeast Asians (= Indonesian, Malaysian, Vietnamese, Cambodian) apart. Pushing the wine analogy a little further, the distinction between East Asian and Southeast Asian is the distinction between red and white wine. If you can’t even do this, there is no way you can apply the rest of the list. Stop reading now.

Throwing a wrench in this distinction (like Rose wine maybe) is that there are many Southeastern Asians who are ethnically Chinese who migrated to the region many centuries ago. (The Hmongs) These people, appearance-wise, are indistinguishable from regular Chinese, although they will say they are Vietnamese, Indonesian, etc., when asked. There is no way to predict this population other than geographic concentration. As far as the Korean knows, ethnic-Chinese-Southeastern Asians in America tend to be concentrated in Central California and around Minneapolis somehow. (Confidence Level = 1). There may be other regions; the Korean just doesn’t know.

Numerical Inference – In America, Korean- and Chinese-Americans outnumber Japanese Americans. Therefore when you see an Asian person in America, assuming you can make the “big distinction”, the choice is usually 50-50: Korean or Chinese. (Confidence Level = 4) Since Koreans physically look most similar to Japanese, if you can narrow a person down to either Korean or Japanese, the numerical inference says the person is likely to be Korean.
This indicator, however, loses strength in areas where tourists are prevalent, such as Times Square, Disneyland, and major airports.

General Physique – with respect to body types, on average, Koreans tend to be taller and bigger than other Asians. Asians who are on the taller side (between 5”11” and 6’3” for men, between 5’7” and 5’10” for women) tend to be Korean. (Confidence Level = 2).

General Complexion – on average, Koreans tend to be a shade lighter in complexion than other Asians, except Japanese. However, very pale skin occurs in all three ethnicities. Highly unreliable in California, where everyone is tanned. (Confidence Level = 1)

General Facial Features – on average, Korean and Japanese tend to have smaller facial features, i.e. smaller eyes, nose, lips, etc. In other words, Asians without any strong facial features (i.e. flatter face, without a strong nose or thicker lips, for example) are more likely to be Korean or Japanese. Once you narrowed it down to here, you can use the numerical inference depending on where you are. (Confidence Level = 2)

Facial Hair (Men) – Asian men who sport a strong, thick facial hair (beard, goatee, etc.) tend not to be Koreans. (Confidence Level = 4) Those who do have facial hair tend to keep it trimmed short, and beards or stubble never extend to the neck. You will never, EVER see a Korean neckbeard. (Confidence Level = 4)

Eyebrows (Women) - If an Asian woman's eyebrows have been not just plucked, but shaved and trimmed into a thin shape, she’s likely Korean. Korean women prefer to shave than pluck when styling eyebrows, because the prevailing belief is that over-plucking causes the skin around the eyebrow to sag with age. (Confidence Level = 3)

Eyes – once upon a time, the lack of epicanthic fold (i.e. “double eyelids”) tended to indicate non-Korean; with the prevalence of plastic surgery among young Korean women, this indicator lost some of its effectiveness. But among men and older people, this is still a decent indicator. (Confidence Level = 2) (Picture is from a Korean plastic surgeon website, with a somewhat NSFW name.)

Compared to other Asians, Korean eyes are set relatively shallow. To measure this, extend your index finger, and place the fingertip on your eyebrow and lower part of the finger on your cheekbone. With shallow-set eyes, your finger touches the eye. Deep-set eyes sit beneath your finger. (Confidence Level = 2)

Amongst women, Koreans are the most likely to wear colored contact lenses, or even circle lenses to make their iris (and their eye in general) look bigger. (Confidence Level = 3) Wearing glasses are uncommon for young women past high school. (Confidence Level = 3)

Nose (Women) –Due to popularity of plastic surgery in Korea, young Asian women with narrow, pointy noses tend to be Korean. (Confidence Level = 3)

Lips – On average, Koreans and Japanese tend to have thinner lips than other Asians. (Confidence Level = 1)

Teeth – On average, Koreans have a high awareness of cosmetic dentistry, and adult Koreans will have relatively well-formed, well-maintained teeth, whether it is natural or from years of wearing braces and retainers. (Confidence Level = 4) Koreans are also likely to get gold molar caps and infills – peer in when they say aaaah. (Confidence Level = 2)

Armpits (women) – Lack of armpit hair tends to indicate Korean, as Korean women are probably the only Asians who shave or wax their armpit hair. There is a lot of stigma in armpit hair, the usual lines of it being disgusting and unsightly and unladylike. Moreover, some Koreans are genetically unable to grow armpit hair. (Confidence Level = 3)

Facial Expression – in a neutral state (i.e. not talking with a friend or watching something in particular), Koreans tend to look like they are pissed off. (Confidence Level = 2)

Hairstyle (Men) – Currently, long, shaggy haircut is the trend in Korea, so a young Asian man who sports the style is likely to be Korean. (Confidence Level = 5)

Shaggy Cut - Example (Picture from a Korean shopping website that sells hair curlers.)


Hairstyle (Women) – The currently trendy haircut is the “mushroom cut” or “princess cut”. A young Asian woman with this style is likely to be Korean. (Confidence Level = 5)

Mushroom Cut - Example (Picture from a Daum.net Q&A section.)

Princess Cut - Example (From here. Please pay attention to the haircut.)



With older Asian women, the ajumma perm is a strong sign. (Confidence Level = 4) (Picture from an Empas Q&A section. The lady is Kim Hye-Ja, a very famous Korean actress.)



(Also, the Korean would be remiss if he did not link to Stuff Korean Moms Like post on perms on Korean women.)

Even when not following a trend, Korean women have expensive haircuts, and their hair looks expensive and heavily layered (there is very little hair actually hanging down). Not very reliable, as there are many non-Korean women who specifically seek Korean hair salons. (Confidence Level = 1)

Headgears (Women) – Many Korean women are big fans of caps. They like to think it keeps them fair-skinned. You should see our SPF 75+ sunscreens, sold at $50 a pop. No joke. Asian women who wear caps tend to be Koreans. (Confidence Level = 4) With older women, wearing a large visor that looks like a welding mask is a sign that they are Korean. (Confidence Level = 3)

Makeup (Women) – Korean women have acquired a mastery of cosmetics unseen in other parts of Asia. A particularly well-made-up Asian woman (e.g. with well-plucked eyebrows, good level of foundation, perfectly split mascara, well-drawn eye-liners, nice selection of lipstick colors, etc.) tends to be Korean. (Confidence Level = 4)

Depending on the woman’s propensity to wear makeup, you may occasionally see a woman who has a tan line along her face, or her face is distinctively two shades lighter than the back of her hands – meet the dreaded ‘makeup tanline’. That’s right, boys and girls, she wore so much makeup she couldn’t get sunburnt. (Confidence Level = 3)

Accessories (Men) – Asian man with a “man bag” tends to be Korean. (Confidence Level = 2) Also, due to the popularity of “couple rings” -- i.e. rings that boyfriends and girlfriends wear, akin to "promise rings" in certain parts of America -- an Asian man wearing a ring at a non-wedding-ring position tends to be Korean. (Confidence Level = 3)

Accessories (Women) – Big hoop earrings and chain-type accessories are popular among Korean women currently. (Confidence Level = 2) A perennial favorite of Korean women is the shape of a ribbon tied into a bow. (Confidence Level = 3) They will wear earrings, pendants, mobile phone charms, and even clothing randomly decorated with bows often pre-tied or pre-cast in its shape, but somehow, will never actually tie a ribbon into their hair into a bow.

General Fashion (Men) – Currently, the fashion trend in Korea for men is tight-fitting clothes, especially skinny jeans. (Confidence Level = 3) Korean men have no fashion sense of their own that can’t be vetoed by the women; they are dressed by surrounding women - like how tides are determined by the pull of the sun and the moon - the largest force usually being their girlfriends. This makes their clothing rather … uh, unisex. (Confidence Level = 4)

Socks (Men) – What if they’re all wearing business suits and you can’t tell? Check their ankles. Your authentic Korean will always wear white sports socks with his business suit, and if they’re feeling dressy, some sort of hideous carpet-patterned grey socks. (Confidence Level = 2) Bonus points if the socks have a brand decal on them, and a prize goes to anyone who finds the ubiquitous Playboy Bunny! (Confidence Level = 10++ with Playboy Bunny, though “BYC” can be substituted; 5 with socks with decals; 3 with grey socks; 2 with white socks)

General Fashion (Women) – For young women, fabrics are often extremely thin and the colours are muted (primary colours are for kids, strong pastels for older women). (Confidence Level = 5) These clothing are often layered on top of another, usually combined with leggings that end at the knees and a bolero jacket. Most blouses, tops and jackets are cut very high at the waist. Wearing halternecks and singlet tops on top of baggier, longer-sleeved clothing is very common. (Confidence Level = 5) In winter, patterned pantyhose are worn under the leggings. (Confidence Level = 5) The clothing themselves often lack sequins or fancy detailing except at the chest level. (Confidence Level = 5) The clothing itself is never dressy, but the accessories such as belts, handbags and jewelry often are over the top. (Confidence Level = 4)

Add all that, and the ensemble looks like this:




The overall look is that of a literally overdressed woman who outgrew exactly half of her wardrobe. Leggings poking out of denim skirt? Korean. Three different tops and two different bottoms on at the same time? Korean. Halterneck top on top of a t-shirt? Sadly, Korean. Is that a kid’s cardigan draped over her shoulders? Yeaaaaaaah, Go Corea!

Wintertime – Come wintertime, many Koreans wear naebok (lit. innerwear), which is a type of thermal underwear. However, unlike most thermal underwear, naebok is very thin and very, very tight-fitting. They come in hilariously unflattering colors of red, pink, peach, grey, light blue and the traditional(?) peach with white horizontal stripes (or would that be white with peach horizontal stripes?) Although naebok are much tighter-fitting than the Mormon magic underwear and are designed to be worn over normal underwear, telltale bulges and bits of naebok peeking out often gives a Korean away in winter. (Confidence Level = 4)

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Korea-Japan Relation Saga, Part III – WWII

See other posts in this series: Part I Part II Part IV Part V

This post is a particularly difficult for the Korean to write because, after all, he received a good amount of education in Korea, especially when he was young and impressionable. It is difficult for the Korean to be objective, but he will try his best.

We are still dealing with the question as to why Koreans hate Japanese so much. If you only read one post out of this series, the Korean recommends this one. Although there is plenty of bad blood that goes back thousands of years (as the Korean illustrated in earlier posts,) the old bad blood only comes back because the modern relation between the two countries was so incredibly bad.

First, some historical background. By early 20th century, Japan was emerging as a world-scale superpower both in terms of its economy and military strength. Its status was simply unrivaled in East and Southeast Asia, which produced no other nation that measured up to Japan. Subsequently, Japan began colonizing Korea and China. Korea was annexed to Japan in 1910, and was not liberated until 1945 after Japan had lost World War II.

It is important to realize that the nature of Japan’s 36 year rule of Korea was brutal and exploitative, in a way that was fundamentally different from most European colonization. European countries colonized areas that were not exactly “nations” in a modern sense, like India and sub-Saharan Africa. In India, for example, there was no shared sense of nationhood between Bengalis in the north and Tamils in the south. (In fact, they don’t even speak the same language, and to this day must use English to communicate.)

On the other hand, Korea had a very strong sense of nationhood that lasted for thousands of years; furthermore, Korea had despised its island neighbor for its lack of cultural achievements. Japan’s rule over Korea was therefore completely unacceptable to Koreans everywhere, and Koreans rebelled in a scale that was incomparable to any other colonized regions in the world. In reaction, in order to maintain its colony, the Japanese colonial government was constantly on surveillance, and its brutality escalated over the period of colonization, peaking at the end of World War II.

When one (especially a Western one) hears the words “Atrocities of World War II”, the first response would always be “Holocaust.” And there is no doubt that it is a good answer. On the other hand, such a focus on Holocaust tends to blind us from other atrocities of World War II. And it is a historical fact that many of those atrocities were committed by Japan, upon Korea and China. This is not to diminish the horror of Holocaust. There certainly has not been any mass murder that was as wide-scale, efficient, and systematic (and therefore horrific) as Holocaust. The atrocities committed by Japan are smaller in scale (because they didn’t quite kill 10 million people) and less systematic (because some of them essentially involved soldiers running amok while the government didn’t do anything, e.g. the Rape of Nanking, whereas the Holocaust was actively organized by the government.) But the Korean believes that the Japanese atrocities are at least as depraved as the Holocaust, if not more. It’s like trying to compare Timothy McVeigh and Charles Manson. McVeigh killed a lot more people after a lot more preparation, but Manson tortured his victims.

Here is the list of atrocities committed by Japan to Korea. They are organized by the Korean’s subjective ordering of least depraved to most depraved. Read on, and see if you agree with what the Korean said so far. For the things for which Wikipedia has an entry, the Korean provided a link. That does not mean that the Korean thinks the Wikipedia entries are entirely correct; they are there just for the sake of reference.

Various Cultural Affronts – the biggest thing under this category would be Japan’s attempt to change Korean names into Japanese style names, known as Chang-ssi-gae-myeong. As the Korean explained before, family name is extremely important to Koreans, and forcing to change them is an intolerable insult. Japan also stole innumerable treasures from Korea, such as porcelain products, paintings, old books, and so on.

Another affront was more subtle. The Japanese colonial government turned the main palace of the Korean Emperor into a zoo. Many palace buildings were torn down – the most notable is Gyeong-bok-gung, half of which was torn down to make way for the colonial government building. Still another is borderline hokey. The colonial government drove in hundreds of steel shafts into major mountain peaks in Korea, under the belief that doing so will cripple the spirit of the land. The shafts were still being dug out in Korea to this day.

Murder of Empress Myeong-Seong – Empress Myeong-seong was a strong-minded wife of Emperor Go-jong. She was a shrewd politician and a diplomat, who often tried to use other superpowers (mostly Russia) in the region to check the rising influence of Japan upon Korea. A Japanese lieutenant general (with or without the backing of the Japanese government is unclear) commissioned what is essentially a band of Japanese thugs to enter the imperial palace in broad daylight and stabbed the Empress to death. Her body was carried away into a corner of the palace and burned by the same band. This historical fact was recently recreated in a musical “Last Empress”, which played in the U.S. in 1998. Read the Wikipedia article here. (Scroll down to “Eul-mi Incident.”)

Kanto Massacre – in 1923, there was a massive earthquake in Kanto, Japan, which killed more than 50,000 people. In the aftermath of the earthquake, the Japanese government declared martial law, and issued a special advisory that Koreans were conspiring to commit murder, rape, arson, and poisoning the wells. This created a mob riot and massacring of Koreans living in Japan. Up to 6,000 Koreans are believed to have been killed. Read the Wikipedia article here. (Scroll down to “post quake violence”.)

Forced Labor – As World War II intensified, Japanese government drafted Korean men for its war efforts. The number ranges anywhere between 300,000 to 1 million. They were mostly put in hard labor, usually in mines or factories. Quite a few of them (estimates range from 20,000 to 200,000) were killed or injured in mines or factories with substandard (to put it nicely) labor conditions.

Torture and Massacre – Japanese colonial government liberally tortured those who were arrested on the suspicion of independence movement for Korea. The most well-documented case is that of Yoo, Guan-soon, who was a 19-year-old student of Ewha School when she played a key role in organizing the March 1st Movement, the largest mass-protest against the Japanese rule in 1919. Yoo was arrested and died in prison; her teachers at Ewha were able to retrieve her body because Ewha was established by Americans and Principal James Fry of Ewha threatened diplomatic actions if the body was not returned. The returned body of Yoo was in six pieces; her scalp was missing; her nose and ears had been cut off, and all of her finger and toenails were plucked off.

Brutal suppression of independence movement was not limited to individuals. In response to the March 1st Movement, in April 5th, 1919, Japanese military police marched into a village of Je-am-li, a village known for its Christian-based independence movement. The police rounded up roughly 30 Christians in the village into the town church, locked the doors and set the building on fire. 22 died trapped in the building, and 8 were shot outside of the church as they tried to escape.

Comfort Women – As World War II raged on, the Japanese military, directly and indirectly, rounded up between 100,000 and 200,000 women to be used sex slaves, euphemistically called “Comfort Women”, for the Japanese soldiers. These women were usually raped 20 times a day, and as many as 40 times a day, according to accounts from survivors. The women were mostly Korean and Chinese, but there were also a few Dutch and Australian (read: white) women kidnapped from Dutch Indies and various Pacific islands. Read the Wikipedia article here.

Unit 731 – this one is so incredibly depraved that the Korean can’t even go into describing it. He will only say that it was a secret medical unit of the Japanese military, conducting various human experiments. The Wikipedia entry is here. Just read it.

So, why do Koreans hate the Japanese?

How can they not?

-EDIT Oct. 21, 2008 7:07 p.m. EST- While the Korean put this part of the Korea-Japan saga as a representative sample, please remember that this is only one part of a four-part series. The Korean has been noticing that many of the comments here could have been addressed simply by reading other parts of the series. Therefore, please read all four parts before expressing any opinion. The Korean believes his readers are intelligent: waiting to grasp the full picture before opening one's mouth is the least that an intelligent person can do.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

For Crying Out Loud, Grow a Sense of Humor

[NOTE: Sorry readers, Blogger is acting up again. Click the title of the post to pull up this post only in order to watch the hilarious videos of Joe Wong.]

KoreAm magazine blog recently carried a post by Emil Guillermo, discussing a rising stand-up comic named Joe Wong. Here is Joe on the Late Show with Davie Letterman.


The Korean laughed. Laughed really, really hard. The Korean is an immigrant himself, and everything that Wong did was spot-on. The Korean showed the clip to the Korean Fiancee (also a first generation immigrant,) and she also laughed really, really hard. The Korean went on Youtube to find more clips, and Wong did not disappoint. Here is another clip:


Then the Korean read the post below it, and was disappointed. Unlike the Korean, Guillermo did not find Wong to be funny at all. After lobbing a few unnecessary low blows toward Letterman, Guillermo takes aim at Wong:
Blacks certainly wouldn’t welcome a modern reprise of racist pick-a-ninny jokes nor the second coming of Stepin’ Fetchit-type humor. So why should Asian Americans? That’s the trouble with Letterman selling Joe Wong as the face of Asian American comedy.
If Joe Wong taps into some universal truth, it’s stupidity. But when you’re barely represented in the media and stupid is all people see, an image problem is created. No one thinks all white people are like the Simpsons. Besides, they’re cartoons drawn in Korea. But for many, the only Asian they might see could be Joe Wong. When people laugh at Wong, an Asian immigrant lost in American society, they are laughing at and glorifying the everyday examples of racism.
To be fair, Guillermo sees value in self-deprecating jokes. But he thinks that such jokes do not suit Joe:
Certainly, self-effacing, self-deprecating humor can be useful. For Congressman Norm Mineta, it was standard to open every speech with a self-deprecating joke. But when you’re one of the most influential Asian Americans in Washington, you can afford the self-deprecation. Besides, the audience always saw it as charming.

But when you’re lowly Joe Wong, the self-deprecation is merely a re-affirmation of your lowliness. And Wong takes every Asian American down with him. With this everyman, we’re all the butt of the joke.
Guillermo closes with a reflection on Asian American comedy, and by essentially branding Joe as a traitor to his race:
Lately, I’ve come to appreciate the gifts of comedienne Margaret Cho. The comic genius continues to boldly shock and challenge cultural assumptions. Another Korean American, Tina Kim, never stoops to the stupid accent.
The correspondents’ dinner in Washington should represent quite a contrast. The Obama administration has done much to raise the Asian American profile. But all it takes is one Joe Wong in such a high-profile venue to imprint a new negative image within American pop culture. We no longer have to worry about white shock jocks doing accented ching-chong comedy bits anymore. (Hey, that’s racist.) Now, we have one of our own all too willing to debase us.
Authentic? No, just pathetic.
Strong words they are. The Korean does not shy away from strong words either. So here is the Korean's message to Emil Guillermo: "Get a fucking grip man, and grow a sense of humor."

First of all, Guillermo simply does not get Joe's jokes, and why they are funny. Take the joke about washing hands that Guillermo cited his post. The joke works in two stages -- the "inspiration" part, and the "children" part. The inspiration part is very clever. It focuses on a part of the commonplace language on which we rarely focus, and exposes a possible incongruence between the language and the purpose of the language. Then the joke proceeds by bridging the incongruence in a deliberately false manner.

Overall, that joke works a lot like Mitch Hedberg's "Yoplait" joke, which goes like this:
I opened-up a yogurt, underneath the lid it said, "Please try again." because they were having a contest that I was unaware of. I thought maybe I opened the yogurt wrong. Or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me. "Come on Mitchell, don't give up! PLEASE TRY AGAIN!! An inspirational message from your friends at Yoplait." Fruit on the bottom, hope on top.


(The Korean could not find the video of this joke for the life of him. Too bad, because Hedberg's delivery takes it to another level.)

(-EDIT 3/16/2010- Thank you, commenters Marten and Sungik. The Yoplait joke is at the 1 minute mark of the updated video.)

But Wong takes his joke one more step, in a pitch-perfect manner: “I wash my hands every time I use the bathroom, so my children don’t have to.” Now this joke is not only clever, but also has an element of sweetness to it. The joke now exploits the deliberate false cognition at full speed, and brings in a stereotypically Asian and immigrant concern for children. Many different things are at play here. The deliberate false cognition is funny. Father's concern for his child is sweet, but funny when it veers into something that does not seem to deserve that concern. (This is a huge appeal of Stuff Korean Moms Like, for example.) This concern packs an additional punch due to Wong's sincere delivery, made believable by the stereotype about Asians/immigrants and their concern for their children's future.

Guillermo does not understand any of this. Instead, he chalks up the reason for the laughter to such canard like the laughers' "need to feel superior" or Wong's "stupidity," playing the part of "the dumb Asian immigrant." Please! There is not a single dumb joke in Wong's bits shown on his two appearances on Letterman. All of Wong's jokes are incomparably better than the crude and unfunny ching-chong jokes. In fact, a good portion of Wong's jokes are not even about being an Asian immigrant. (For example, the "parallel parking" joke, the "blueberry vs. strawberry" joke, "baby on board" joke.)


In fact, Guillermo belies that it's not just Joe Wong that he does not get -- Guillermo does not get stand-up comedy as a whole. "Blacks certainly wouldn't welcome a modern reprise of racist pick-a-ninny jokes"? Really? Then how does Guillermo explain one of the most iconic black comedians giving this bit?
Fat, black women don't give a fuck what you think. She's going out on Friday night. She got an outfit on. That shit match. She got the pumps on, and the pump fat coming out the pump. That's right. It looks like they baking bread in her shoe.

"Baby, your foot ready yet?" "I'll just sprinkle some cinnamon on it!"

That's right. She got an anklet on, and that anklet's holding on for dear life. Black women don't give a fuck. She's like, "I'm sexy. I am sexy, yes, I am! I am the sexiest motherfucker here tonight! Yeah, I got a gut. There's some good pussy under this gut! That's right. You want some of this so you can "livin' la vida loca!"
Was the thunderous laughter for Chris Rock only came from the white people sitting in the Apollo Theater?

It is actually funny that Guillermo cites approvingly of Margaret Cho. Mind you, the Korean LOVES Margaret Cho. But we are talking about a woman who launched her career by (and drew a lot of flak for) talking about how her mother, complete with Korean accent, would call her daughter "moron" in a screaming manner. What about that routine "boldly shock[s] and challenge[s] cultural assumptions," as Guillermo puts it?

But the problem is not simply that Guillermo does not have a sense of humor. The larger problem is that Guillermo represents a certain mindset that is downright harmful to Asian Americans.

(More after the jump.)

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@gmail.com.

Thursday, April 08, 2010

50 Most Influential K-Pop Artists Series: Introduction & Brief History

[Series Index]

It’s finally here – the much-anticipated 50 Most Influential K-Pop Artist Series.

This series will be about the influence on pop culture that K-pop artists had, not about who is the “greatest,” “most popular,” or “most innovative.” Of course an artist can be influential by being original, but originality alone is not the determinant of where a particular artist ranks. Rather, the rank of a particular artist will depend on the answer to this question: “How much influence did the artist(s) have on Korean pop culture?”

The influence can be both direct and indirect. The artist can be influential by being directly in the public consciousness for a decade, or by being influencing other artists who collectively changed the faces of Korean pop culture. In other words, this ranking has room for a short-lived innovator who was little known among Korean public, as long as the innovator influenced many other artists who in turn influenced Korean pop culture. This ranking also has room for a hugely popular K-pop artist whose music might be considered cheap and banal, as long as that popularity influenced Korean pop culture somehow.

Important part is that “influence” can be generated not simply from performing music, but also from other music-related activities. This is very significant for a number of people who are ranked, because they exerted influence on Korean pop culture as producers, composers, radio and TV show hosts, etc. However, for completely arbitrary reasons, the Korean limited the ranking to people who actually did some singing. (One can argue that the greatest Laker ever is the team owner Jerry Buss, but most people would think of Magic Johnson, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and Kobe Bryant first.)

Before we get into the actual rankings, some history lesson is in order because K-pop in the current form that is popular around the world (and therefore mostly known to AAK! readers) revolves around boy/girl bands. In fact, the word “K-pop” at this point may have come to mean only Korean boy/girl bands instead of Korean pop music in general. But for the purpose of this series, K-pop is used to mean “Korean popular music,” i.e. commercially recorded music for the purpose of being consumed by the general public, which would exclude Korean traditional music or classical music.

At any rate, K-pop is much, much more than boy/girl bands. It has a short but rich history that acutely reflects Korea’s modern history. In fact, the history of K-pop as a whole can be fascinating narrative of how cultural transplantations operate, and how creativity flowers even in the face of constricting forces – be it political, social, or commercial.

Brief History of K-Pop

K-Pop Genre Influence Chart

Here is what will be known as the Korean’s most important contribution to K-pop critique. Introducing… K-Pop Genre Influence Chart.


First, about the technical details. Each decade (except for 1960s) has three columns, which stands for “early,” “middle” and “late” decade. In other words, the first column under 1990s means “early 1990s.” There are 20 rows, which each row representing roughly 5 percent. So if “hard rock” in the late 1990s takes up two rows, it means that hard rock had about 10 percent influence out of all available Korean pop music at that time.

This chart is necessary in order to put a given artist’s place in history in perspective. The Korean can talk about the greatest Korean heavy metal band of the late 1980s, but what does that mean? How does the greatest Korean heavy metal band of the late 1980s compare to the greatest Korean rapper in early 2000s in terms of influence?

Of course, like everything else on this blog, this chart is arbitrary and capricious to the Korean’s whim. Everything on the chart is the Korean’s estimates and nothing scientific. Also, the six genres represented in the chart may be too broad and crude. For example, it does not include electronica/techno, and instead folds the genre into different broadly defined categories, mostly depending on the target audience.

BUT, that does not mean the chart is completely off the reservation. The Korean generally knows what he is talking about, and much thought and research (via Internet, books and asking the Korean’s friends) went into creating this chart. The Korean is confident that while people may quibble with details of the chart, the broad strokes of the chart are correct.

With the chart in front of us, let us dive into the brief history of K-pop by decade (with videos!), after the jump.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@gmail.com.


Sunday, May 13, 2007

Ask A Korean! News: Prince Fielder's hereto unknown Korean connection

Dear readers, the Korean is currently borrowing the Korean Girlfriend's laptop in order to report this amazing news of significant consequence.

On Friday, the Korean was watching the New York Mets versus Milwaukee Brewers baseball on his newly acquired HD TV, and the current major league home run leader Prince Fielder stepped into the box. Fielder is in the Korean's fantasy baseball team, the Inland Empire 66ers, so the Korean paid close attention.

Then the Korean noticed something so improbable that at first the Korean disbelieved his own eyes. The Korean reached for his remote, desperately hit "rewind" and "pause" on his DVR over and over and again, but it was there. So here is the news, reported for the first time here at Ask A Korean!:

Prince Fielder has a neck tattoo that says wangja ("prince") in Korean on his left neck. See the picture below.I mean, what the hell. Seriously, who the hell gets a tattoo in Korean? (Unless there is a good reason to, like Hines Ward who has his name tattooed in Korean because he is half-Korean.)

The Korean has no idea how to feel about this. On one hand, it could be seen as evidence that Korea is becoming more recognized in the U.S. in various ways. Formerly, East Asia consisted of China and Japan, and Korea was kind of an afterthought. But tattoo in foreign language is usually done because it is considered "exotic", so the Korean is not sure if this is the case that Korea is more known in the U.S.

The overwhelming feeling that the Korean experienced (especially upon looking at the picture again) was how stupid neck tattoos look. The Korean always thought neck tattoos were silly, but seeing one in letters that the Korean can recognize was really the clincher. Even if neck tattoos were in English, they are usually done in some Olde English font so they are not readily readable. But Prince Fielder's neck tattoo is written in plain, legible Korean. It is as if some regular Korean dude was hanging out and drinking with Prince Fielder one night, then Fielder passes out, and the Korean dude picked up a marker and wrote it on his neck as a joke. (Like poor Zach Braff here in Garden State.)

Did anyone else notice any Korean tattoos on people? The Korean would love to hear your story. Please write on the comment, or email the Korean.

Got a question or comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com

Monday, August 23, 2010

50 Most Influential K-Pop Artists: 48. Dongmulwon

[Series Index]

48.  Dongmulwon [동물원, "Zoo"]

Years of Activity:  1987-2003

Members:

Regular Members
Yoo Joon-Yeol [유준열] - Vocal, guitar
Park Ki-Yeong [박기영] - Vocal, keyboard
Bae Yeong-Gil [배영길] - Vocal, guitar

Temporary Members
Kim Chang-Gi [김창기] - Vocal, guitar
Park Kyeong-Chan [박경찬] - Vocal, guitar, keyboard
Lee Seong-Woo [이성우] - Vocal, guitar
Choi Hyeong-Gyu [최형규] - Drum
Kim Gwang-Seok [김광석] - Vocal

Discography:

Regular Albums
Dongmulwon [동물원] (1987)
Dongmulwon Second Collection of Songs [동물원 두번째 노래 모음] (1988)
Dongmulwon Third Collection of Songs [동물원 세번째 노래 모음] (1990)
Dongmulwon Fourth Collection of Songs [동물원 네번째 노래 모음] (1991)
Dongmulwon 5-1 [동물원 5-1] (1993)
Dongmulwon 5-2 [동물원 5-2] (1993)
Dongmulwon 6 [동물원 6] (1994)
Dongmulwon Seventh [동물원 일곱번째] (1997)
Dongmulwon Eighth Story [동물원 여덟번째 이야기] (2001)
Dongmulwon Ninth Footprint [동물원 아홉번째 발자국] (2003)

Special Albums
Dongmulwon in Concert [동물원 in Concert] (Live, 1994)
Dongmulwon Revisited [다시 가본 동물원] (Compilation, 1996)
Dongmulwon Best [동물원 베스트] (1999)

In 15 Words or Less:  The amateur representative of Korean folk rock.

Representative Song:  Hyehwa-Dong, from Dongmulwon Second Collection of Songs.


혜화동
Hyehwa-dong

오늘은 잊고 지내던 친구에게서 전화가 왔네
Today, a phone call came from a friend I had forgotten
내일이면 멀리 떠나간다고
Tomorrow he is going very far away
어릴적 함께 뛰놀던 골목길에서 만나자 하네
Says let us meet at the alleyway where we ran and played as children
내일이면 멀리 떠나간다고
Tomorrow he is going very far away

덜컹거리는 전철을 타고 찾아가는 그 길
The way over, taking the rumbling subway
우린 얼마나 많은 것을 잊고 살아가는지
How many things have we forgotten as we live
어릴 적 넓게만 보이던 좁은 골목길에
The narrow alleyway that seemed so wide when we were young
다정한 옛친구 나를 반겨 달려오는데
My good old friend runs to greet me

어릴적 함께 꿈꾸던 부푼 세상을 만나자 하네
Says let us meet the beautiful world we dreamed together as children
내일이면 아주 멀리 떠나간다고
Tomorrow he is going very far away
언젠가 돌아오는 날 활짝웃으며 만나자 하네
Says someday when he comes back let us meet with big smiles
내일이면 아무 멀리 간다고
Tomorrow he is going very far away

덜컹거리는 전철을 타고 찾아가는 그 길
The way over, taking the rumbling subway
우린 얼마나 많은 것을 잊고 살아가는지
How many things have we forgotten as we live
어릴 적 넓게만 보이던 좁은 골목길에
The narrow alleyway that seemed so wide when we were young
다정한 옛친구 나를 반겨 달려오는데
My good old friend runs to greet me


랄라 랄라라 랄라랄라라 라랄라랄라라
Lala Lalala Lalalalala Lalalalala
우린 얼마나 많은 것을 잊고 살아가는지
How many things have we forgotten as we live

Translation Note:  Hyehwa-dong is a district in the center of Seoul, with many colleges, theaters and coffee shops.

Maybe they should have been ranked higher because...  Actually, this is about as high as this band could possibly go.

Maybe they should have been ranked lower because...  See the discussion below.

Why is this band important?
The Korean can already hear the objections of those who are conversant at K-pop. Clazziquai at 49, but Dongmulwon at 48? Dongmulwon never once had a number one song on the charts. It never had a huge media presence, nor did it ever attract a screaming horde of girls. It was not even very musically talented, as it was a band made up of a rotating group of amateurs. Their songs do not require a huge range of voice, nor do they require a particular skilled hand at the guitar. Perhaps at that point the objectors might recall that this list is subject to the Korean’s arbitrary and capricious whim, and stop reading altogether.

But the Korean’s ranking is not completely off the reservation. The Korean believes his placement of Dongmulwon at 48 is justified, because of the significance of folk rock as a genre in K-pop history, and Dongmulwon’s significance within that genre cannot be discounted.

Let us ask the basic question one more time: What is K-pop? The Korean defined this term earlier as popular music of Korea, recorded for commercial purposes. While this definition does a decent job at defining what “pop music” is, it has a glaring deficiency – what does “music of Korea” mean? Does this mean that the music has to be sung in Korean language? Does this mean that the singer of the music have to of Korean ethnicity?

Implicitly, the Korean so far has been employing a broad definition of “music of Korea” – music of artists who were/are primarily active in Korea, such that their music operates within Korean popular culture. But perhaps a different definition can be used – a definition that refers to Korea as not merely as a geographical location, but as a cultural and spiritual sphere. Under this definition, “music of Korea” would simply mean: music that reflects “Koreanness,” the emotional core that characterizes Korea.

To be sure, the two definitions are not mutually exclusive. Generally, music that survives in Korean popular culture does so because it contains some measure of “Koreanness” that appeals to its fans, i.e. Koreans. But in discussing influence – which, again, is what this chart is intended to measure, not popularity, talent or fame – the Korean thinks it is fair to give a higher mark to artists who did a better job at reflecting “Koreanness”. This is so because the popular music that survives in the minds of the public (i.e. becomes influential) is the one that reflects the essential zeitgeist of the times.

In fact, this is exactly the reason why pretty girl/pretty boy artists across the world receive no respect for the aesthetic quality of the music they perform. Pretty people exist across the space and time. So do banal and saccharine love songs. They simply do not reflect any essential quality of their life and time. Accordingly, Bob Dylan’s music survived the times and remains influential, but Britney Spears’ did not.

Korean folk rock is the most significant K-pop genre because it is the genre that did the best job at reflecting the life and times of Koreans. For all of Clazziquai’s considerable talent, there is not much about techno/electronica that reflects the emotional core that is particular to Koreans. Same with heavy metal, and even less so with ballad or generic dance music. (A more serious case might be made for trot or rap, which will be discussed later in the series.) This is so because folk rock is a message-driven music. The music itself in folk rock is never complicated – many of the times it only involves a single guitar. The main focus of folk rock is always about the message carried in the lyrics, contained the simple and flexible vessel of its melody.

Dongmulwon is important because it is one of the finest representations of what folk rock in Korea is all about. The band was made up of rank amateurs, friends from high school and college. It was no more than a hobby, and except for a few members who left the band to become professional musicians (among which the most notable was Kim Gwang-Seok, who later became a legend,) everyone had a day job. None of their songs involved sophisticated tunes or particularly outstanding singing. But they nonetheless managed to put out nine albums over 15 years, exactly because they did such an outstanding job reflecting exactly how Koreans were feeling at the time of their music.

In fact, Dongmulwon’s most representative songs are all about certain recognizable places. Other than Hyehwa-dong that was translated above, their most popular songs were On the Street [거리에서] and At the Subway Station in front of the City Hall [시청 지하철역에서]. Because the places are familiar to their listeners (although not necessarily for non-Koreans or Koreans of later generations,) the emotions that are evoked by those places are also familiar.

Since late 1980s through 1990s, Korea was a fast-changing place that left every Korean feel rushed and hurried. As the dictatorship was ending, Koreans were freer but not too free; as the country industrialized, Koreans were not poor but not too wealthy. Hyehwa-dong is a beautiful representation of the zeitgeist of such times – vague sense of loss and fatigue caused by changes, but small joys that spring up regardless. The friend is leaving, but they will see each other one more time. The alleyway now seems small, but it carries fond memories.

Dongmulwon was never the most prominent figure in K-pop history. But the band is important because decades later, people will turn to their songs to reminisce how things were in Korea at the time. More popular or more talented musicians might fade into history, but Koreans will keep singing Dongmulwon's songs.

Interesting Trivia:
- The band is named "Zoo" because the members thought that they were being caged, both by the stiffness of the society and ideology-driven college culture at the time. But the first suggestion for the band name was "Ballad for Ewha Students" [이대생을 위한 발라드], based on the jocular calculation that simply selling albums to Ewha Woman's University students would let them sell at least 1,000 copies.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@gmail.com.
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