"All o'Y'all Look Alike!!"

Dear Korean,

This is a question about something I've heard in various forms from a lot of non-Asian Americans. Simply put, people tend to say that "all Asians look alike." That's an obvious exaggeration, but I'm wondering whether you think East Asians really do look more alike than people of European descent. After all, most East Asians have dark eyes and dark hair of a similar texture, whereas Europeans have many different eye colors and hair colors/textures. (Of course, I'm not counting perms, dye, and contact lenses.) Asian body types also seem to be more uniform than European ones. Is it just American stupidity or do Asians really look more alike than other groups?

Andrew T.

Dear Andrew,

You do have a point: All East Asians have dark hair and dark eyes. But really, that's all. Outside of hair and eye color, there is a whole lot more variation in East Asians than you might think. The point is illustrated by Isabella Byrd Bishop, a British woman who traveled Korea in 19th century. She visited a Buddhist temple in Korea whose claim to fame was its statuettes of 500 disciples of Buddha, and this was her impression: "Among the infinite variety, one figure has deeply set eyes, an aquiline nose, and thin lips; another a pug nose, squinting eyes, and a broad grinning mouth; one is Mongolian, another Caucasian, and another approximates to the Negro type. Here is a stout, jolly fellow, with a leer and a broad grin suggestive of casks of porter and the archaic London drayman..."

In other words, all other bodily features of East Asians could be radically different. The skin complexion can go anywhere from very dark to very light, roughly going from a slightly light-skinned black person's complexion to completely pasty. The hair curls and texture range from very straight and fine to very curly and coarse, almost to the level of jewfro. Eye size, nose size, lip size, height, build, you name it; East Asians are hardly uniform. If you think all Asians are short and have slight build, the Korean has 25 sumo wrestlers who would prove otherwise by sitting on you.

This then begs the question: Why do people think all Asians look alike? "Because people are stupid" is never a good answer. The answer has to do with heuristics. (The Korean covered it once here. Read it if you'd like a more detailed explanation.) To recap quickly: heuristics is a mental shortcut. People engage in heuristics by extracting the most prominent information out of a certain situation; if people encounter a new situation that shares the same prominent information, they conclude that the new situation is the same as the previous situation. Heuristics is useful because it enables quick decision-making with little information.

So suppose you are a person who has never seen an Asian person. You meet your first Asian man in your life; not very well met, just a random encounter at a party or something. What would you remember about his looks? Unless he has stunningly good looks, the only prominent thing you would remember about his appearnce a few days later would be his dark hair and his general Asian-ish looks. Then you meet your second Asian guy -- and bingo, the second Asian guy has dark hair and general Asian-ish looks. They both look the same!

(This is, in fact, one of the mechanisms through which deja vu can happen. Even though you are in a new place, for example, it feels like you have been there before. It's because some time in the past, you only remembered certain features of a place, and this new place shares the same features.)

This process happens to any race of people who are considered "exotic". A lot of white people thought black people looked all the same, until discussing race became the powder keg that it is right now. Here's a confession: the Korean himself, for some years after he moved to the U.S., had the hardest time distinguishing Danny Glover and Morgan Freeman. They are both slim, distinguished-looking black men who have some gray hair -- at least, those were the only things that stuck in the Korean's head whenever he saw Mr. Glover or Mr. Freeman. So even though they look nothing like each other, the Korean's mind just jumped the gun, until he consciously tried to remember every single facial feature of the two men.

As you might have noticed, this process definitely works the other way around as well. Europeans are more of a mix, but they can be broadly divided into light-haired, fair-skinned types and dark-haired, swarthy types. So if you are a white person traveling in Asia, you will definitely hear comments like "You look just like [insert the representative movie star here.]" It's pretty flattering to hear, but just remember that such a statement is the same ilk as "All Asians look alike."

In that case, how can one distinguish different Asians by looks? (i.e. Korean, Japanese, Chinese, etc.?) Well, that's for another, highly interesting post.

Got a question or comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com.

Ask A Korean! News: Open Letter to Non-Asian People

(Sorry about the unannounced absence, folks. The Korean hosted three little Korean Nephews from Colorado Springs for a whole week, and then the Korean visited the Korean Girlfriend at Aspen for a week. Hope all of you have enjoyed some nice vacation time.)

Dear Black, Hispanic, and White People:

My name is the Korean, the host of a popular blog of Ask A Korean! The Korean keeps the blog in order to edify non-Koreans, and more generally non-Asians. That means you. The Korean had been thinking that he was making good progress, but visiting a region in America mostly populated by you people made the Korean realize that more direct approach is necessary. Therefore, the Korean presents the behavioral guide of interacting with Asian Americans.

- When you meet an Asian person in America, listen to the person's English. If it's fluent, assume the person is American. Do not say "Oh, your English is so great!" unless you want a punch in the face.

- Do not ask "Where are you from?" to an Asian person unless you are reasonably certain that s/he is outside of his/her American hometown. If the Asian answers, say, "Los Angeles", do not follow up with "where are you originally from?" or "where are your parents from?" Our precise ethnicity is none of your fucking business. Do we ever ask you whether you are from Dominican Republic, Ireland, or Ivory Coast?

- Do not holler any Asian celebrity name at any Asian person. The Korean is 6'1", and plays basketball frequently. If the Korean hears one more "Yao Ming!" from one of you, he will shove a basketball up your ass.

- Do not say "gonnichiwa" to an Asian person in America, unless you are absolutely positive that the Asian person is a Japanese tourist, or you are a host/hostess of a Japanese restaurant greeting an Asian customer. (Although if you are a host/hostess, the proper greeting would be iratsaimashe.) There are relatively few Japansese Americans in America compared to Chinese or Korean Americans, so you are most likely wrong; and if you had been reading the blog, Korean people really don't like being mistaken for a Japanese. Chinese people are not all that different either.

- On second thought, don't say any Asian phrase to any Asian person, unless you are at least conversational in the language. It's the 21st century, people. We are no longer impressed by your amazing ability to say "hello".

- As a corollary, especially don't say any Asian phrase to an Asian American woman in the hopes of hooking up. Your schemes are as transparent as they are idiotic.

- While we are on the subject, although equal opportunity dating is to be encouraged, blatant yellow fever is disgusting. Nothing drives Asian women away faster than your submissive girl fetish. Plus, if you really think Asian women are domestic and submissive, you obviously haven't dated one.

- Let's change the subject a bit. Stop patronizing expensive Asian restaurants with shitty food and fancy decoration. (Way too many of them in New York.) You are just as stupid as the Russian people who wait in line for hours to eat at McDonald's. Recognize which Asian food is rightfully fancy, and which one simply has a fancy name and a $30 price tag.

(True story: The Korean went to this one chic Korean restaurant in SoHo, where they made every effort to make it seem trendy and, well, not Asian, down to 100 percent non-Asian waiting crew. We had barbecue, and one of the waiters offered the Korean a platter of "Seng Shew". It took about 10 seconds to realize that he pronounced "sangchoo", i.e. red leaf lettuce, as if he was reading French. The Korean broke a soju bottle on his head, and never returned.)

- Do not use chopsticks if you are going to make a fool of yourself and spray food all over the place. Use a fork. No one cares.

- On the other hand, if you are at a Thai restaurant and don't have chopsticks, do not act all high and mighty and ask for chopsticks. Thai people don't use chopsticks.

- On a broader topic, stop fetishizing Asian culture, like its movies and cartoons. Like everything else in the world, some Asian movies and cartoons are fantastic, and some are just plain shitty. As the Korean mentioned before, he cannot believe the number of people who liked Bicheonmu on imdb.com, which is generally considered the worst Korean movie of the decade, perhaps all-time, on the same level as Battlefield Earth.

- However, stop copying excellent Asian movies/TV shows, replacing Asian actors with white actors, and sell them in America as if you came up with that brilliant idea. Martin Scorsese, the makers of The Ring, The Grudge, and Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, the Korean is looking at your direction.

- Do not make an Asian person around you a representative of his/her race. Do not ask questions like "Why are Korean girls so slutty?" or "Why are Chinese people so loud?" because the answers will be either wrong or incomplete. Do you know all there is to know about your heritage? Neither do we, for the most part.

- But if you must ask, send an email to askakorean@hotmail.com

p.s. Asian people, anything else that annoys you? Please email.

-ADDENDUM: 2:37 p.m. Sept. 11, 2007- One more thing the Korean thought of (because some idiot just pulled this): If you meet a Korean anywhere, never ask "North or South?" North Koreans have no freedom to travel outside of their country -- that's what it means to have a communist dictatorship. The only place that you will likely meet a North Korean is within North Korea; at that point, you wouldn't really have to ask. Everywhere else, all Koreans are South Koreans.

Korean Language Series – Writing and Reading

WARNING: You should be able to see typed Korean language in order to fully read this post. If you are a Windows user, you can go to Microsoft's website and download the "East Asian Language Support". Ask your local computer nerd. Entice him with a woman and it will be easy.

-EDIT 14 June 2007 11:52 a.m.- If you would prefer a more interactive guide, try this link: http://langintro.com/kintro/ Thank you, J. David Eisenberg!

Dear Korean,

I'm interested in learning Korean although nobody encouraged me to do so! I wonder if you can help me explain Korean pronunciation, I've bought 2 different "teach yourself Korean" books but I can't seem to understand the pronunciation sections.

Amna

Dear Amna,

The Korean must warn everyone that he had never received formal education as to how to teach Korean to non-Korean speakers. Therefore, all the technical terminology that the Korean uses in this post (as well as in other Korean Language Series) are made up by the Korean. Additionally, the Korean will often be wrong about things. But hey, that’s the price you pay if you try to learn a foreign language from an amateur off a blog.

Korean alphabet, called Hanguel, was created by King Sejong and his scholars in the 15th Century, and it is extremely innovative. The entire alphabet has 40 characters, with 19 consonants and 21 vowels. (Technically it is 14 simple consonants, 5 compound consonants, 10 simple vowels, and 11 compound vowels.) First, let’s go over the basics of how a Korean letter is written. It sounds odd that you are learning to write before you can read, but it will make sense in the end.

Characters v. Letters

It’s important to distinguish between “characters” and “letters.” Each character alone cannot stand independently, because each character is either a single consonant or a single vowel. Instead, either two or three characters combine to form a pronounceable block, i.e. a “letter.”

So this is how a letter is formed: it is other “consonant + vowel”, or “consonant + vowel + consonant”. (Some of the letters are actually “consonant + vowel + consonant + consonant” in relatively rare cases. They are dealt in Advanced Stuff section.)

It sounds complicated written out like that, but the idea is simple. Think back to Sesame Street and how two shadowy people form a word. “H” plus “a” is “Ha”. “H” plus “a” plus “t” would be “Hat”. (The “A”s in the two words are pronounced differently in the two words, but you get the picture anyway. The Korean can’t help the fact that English alphabet is a screwed up one.)

The table of characters is linked later in the post. But hold your horses, and finish reading the post first.

“Okay, how do I write a letter?”

In order to form a letter out of the characters, pay attention to whether the vowel position is vertical, horizontal, or combined. It is really simple to do actually – vertical vowels stand tall, horizontal vowels are flat, and combined are vertical + horizontal vowels.

Step 1. Imagine filling up a square block. Write the consonant is the left half if the vowel is vertical; write the consonant on the top half if the vowel is horizontal. Write the consonant in the top left quarter if the vowel is combined.

Step 2. Write in the vowel.

Step 3. If there is a consonant following the vowel, that consonant goes on the bottom of the “consonant + vowel” combination that you just formed.

Let’s take a Korean word like “미국” (“America”). 미국 is made up of two letters, each letter making up one syllable. The letter 미 is made up of the consonant ㅁ and the vowel ㅣ. You can see that ㅣ is vertical, so write ㅁ in the left half the imaginary box, and put ㅣ next to it to form 미. The next one is trickier – it involves a second consonant. Since the vowel is ㅜ, you can see that it’s shaped flat and therefore has a horizontal position. So write the consonant ㄱ on top, put the vowel ㅜ on the bottom. Then put the last consonant ㄱ underneath the vowel. And there you have it, your first Korean word – God bless America!!

As an aside, notice that in Korean, there is never a free-standing consonant without a vowel attached to it. That’s why Korean people have such a hard time pronouncing such words like “school”. “s” in “school” does not have a vowel attached to it – “school” is one syllable in English. But Korean person trying to pronounce that word cannot process a consonant that does not have a vowel. So usually the best the Korean person can do is to pronounce it like “seu-kool”, in two syllables.

“Now I can write some exotic stuff I can’t read. Thanks, genius.”

Alright, we are finally ready to read. The chart of characters has pronunciation attached to it, but read this first. We are going to try reading 미국. First letter first: consonant ㅁ sounds like “m”. Vowel ㅣ sounds like “ee” as in “seek”. Therefore, 미 is pronounced like “mee”. Then the next letter: consonant ㄱ sounds like “g” as in “gate”. Vowel ㅜ sounds like “oo” as in “zoo”. So the pronunciation is: g + oo + g = goog. So “America” in Korean is mee-goog. Simple, right?

One more caveat – what the Korean just wrote above is not the standard Romanization of Korean characters. The chart below includes how each character is Romanized as well. For example, the correct Romanization of 미국 is “miguk”. From this point on, all Korean words will be in standard Romanization format.

Okay, you can take a look the chart now. The Korean will be waiting right here. (If your browser automatically re-sizes the image, save the image on your computer and read along.)

-EDIT- Here is the link for a pdf form of the chart. The earlier link is in a jpeg format in order to make sure that people without East Asian Language support can read it, but it does not print properly. If you wish to print the chart out, use the pdf link to print. Thank you Bonnie B. for pointing this out.

….

….

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Welcome back. Your head spinning yet? Print the chart out and keep it next to you as we read on.

Let’s do one more example, the Ask A Korean! favorite – how to read 왕자. Consonant ㅇ is silent before the vowel, and sounds like “ng” after the vowel. The vowel ㅘ is a compound vowel, combining ㅗ (“o”) and ㅏ (“a”), so it sounds like “oa”, or “wa”. Consonant ㅈ sounds like “j”, and ㅏ sounds like “a”.

Put them all together: wa + ng / j + a = wangja, i.e. Prince Fielder’s neck tattoo.

Parting Words

The Korean would like to finish up with two points.

First, notice how fucked up English alphabet is. The Romanization of Korean is so complicated only because English alphabet is so messed up, and the Korean scholars who came up with it were trying to make Korean language to readable to English-speaking people somehow. English consonants and vowels often change sound randomly, although the letters – representation of the sound – never change. Thus we have the famous example of spelling “fish” as “ghoti” – “gh” from “tough”, “o” from “women”, and “ti” from “nation”.

Take a common Korean last name like 김. Under proper Romanization, it would be written as “gim”, and pronounced as such. But English speakers would pronounce it like “gym”, so Koreans had to adapt and bastardize the sound to the next closest sound, which is “kim”. The last name 박 is even worse. It would be properly Romanized as “bak”, but English speakers would read it like “back”. So Korean people added an “r”, turning it into “bark”. Then the connotation of the word became negative, so they switched it to next closest sound, which is “park”. So in reality, there are no Kims and Parks in Korea – only Gims and Baks.

Second, appreciate how beautifully designed Hangeul is in contrast. It is the only alphabet system in the world that has been designated as UNESCO World Heritage. The Korean can write 50 pages about the genius of Hangeul, but he will just give one example here: the amazing adaptability of the compound vowels. Although currently only 11 compound vowels are used in Korean language, technically any of the 5 horizontal vowels can combine with any of the 5 vertical vowels to form a new sound – 25 new sounds created in a snap, plus 4 exceptions where a vertical vowel combines with another vertical vowel. So out of 40 possible vowel sounds that Hangeul can represent (10 simple vowels + 30 compound vowels), nearly half of them (19) are not even in the Korean language!

In other words, Hangeul vowel characters can cover almost any vowel sound made in the world. (A big exception is vowel tones in tonal languages, for example Chinese.) No other alphabet in the world has a system that enables it to record a sound that does not exist in the language it represents. If aliens landed on Earth tomorrow, Hangeul would be the only reliable alphabet in the world that can consistently represent the vowel sounds that they make.

Advanced Stuff: Read Only If You Are Hardcore

Here are some more tips as to correctly pronouncing Korean characters and letters. The Korean is certain that he missed a lot of stuff, and wrong about some of the things here. Please email or comment if you notice anything.

Extremely useful tip for English speakers – whenever you read a Korean letter, pretend there is an “h” behind the vowel to get the consonant sound right. For example, if an English speaker read “sa”, she would pronounce the “s” like the “s” in “sin”, which is incorrect. (“s” in “sin” is Romanized as “ss”.) But if she tried to read “sah”, she would pronounce the “s” like the “s” in “snake”, which is the correct way. This rule applies across the board, no matter what the letters are.

Additional Romanization rule 1 – Under standard Romanization, one word in Korean is written as one word Romanized. So a sentence like 날씨가 좋습니다 (“the weather is good”) is Romanized as: “nalssiga jotseupnida”. However, if writing as one word is likely to produce a wrong pronunciation, hyphen can be added to separate the Korean letters. So the word 씨앗 (“seed”) is Romanized as “ssi-at”, since writing it as “ssiat” is likely to be pronounced wrong. Another example is the word 항아리 (“jug”), which is Romanized as “hang-ari”, since “hangari” would be pronounced like “han-ga-ri”.

Additional Romanization rule 2 – If the pronunciation is different from the way a word is spelled (following one of the “Advanced pronunciation rules” below”), the word is Romanized as it is pronounced, not as it is written.

Romanization exceptions – The current standard Romanization rule was introduced in 2000; prior to that, Korea used something called McCune-Reischauer Romanization System, which involved a lot of complicated additional notations on top of regular English alphabets to faithfully represent the Korean pronunciation. But outside of governmental and scholarly papers, McCune-Reischauer system was never popular in Korea because it was so complicated. Regular Korean people and Korean businesses Romanized their names more or less arbitrarily. Therefore, people’s names, if Romanized before 2000, stayed the same. Also, people may Romanize their name in any way they please.

For example, former president/dictator 박정희 would be written as “Bak Jeonghui” under the current Romanization system. But since he was born long before 2000, the Romanization of his name is “Park Chung-hee”. This rule also applies to well-established names of locations, like 서울 (which should be “Seo-ul” to prevent it from being pronounced like “soul”, but written as “Seoul”, merrily carrying on the mispronunciation.)

How to pronounce difficult sounds – let’s go over them one by one.

ㄹ – deceptively hard, because it’s neither L or R. Try pronouncing “Lola” very carefully. You will notice that you are actually sounding out “lol-la”, adding an extra consonant. Remember that ㄹ is Romanized with “r” in the first position and it’s easier to pronounce.

ㅅ and ㅆ – you have to realize that English “s” makes two different sounds. ㅅ is like “s” in “snake”. ㅆ is like “s” in “soon”.

ㄲ, ㄸ, ㅃ, ㅆ, and ㅉ – if you know how to pronounce Spanish correctly, these should come pretty easily. As you can tell from their shapes, they are related to ㄱ, ㄷ, ㅂ, ㅅ, and ㅈ respectively. Let’s try with ㄸ first. Try sounding 다 (da) very carefully. Say it like da-da-da-da… and notice your tongue is touching the roof of your mouth. Now, stiffen your tongue a little harder when it touches the roof, and hold it for half a second longer, and “burst” the sound out. It should be 따. ㄲ and ㅉ can be sounded out in a similar way. ㅃ is different because the sound only involves your lips, but same mechanism. Say ba-ba-ba-ba… and stiffen your lips a little harder as they come together, hold it a bit longer, then burst out the sound.

ㅡ – this vowel sound is most easily made by the following way: clench your teeth and make a guttural noise. It’s not the right sound, but it’s pretty close. Alternatively, pull your lips out as if you are smiling, and make the sound that’s least difficult to make.

Advanced pronunciation rule 1 – The Korean said some Korean letters are “consonant + vowel + consonant + consonant”. Here is an example: 뷁. How do you read this? The rule is: Ignore the last consonant, and only pronounce the first bottom consonant (called “batchim” in Korean, meaning “bottom piece”). So the letter 뷁, standing alone, would be pronounced like 뷀, i.e. b + ue + l = buel. But letters of this kind rarely stand alone, and the second batchim usually affects the sound of the next following consonant. Read below.

Advanced pronunciation rule 1.1 – Take the word 넓다 (“broad”). Now we know the first letter is read as n + eo + l = neol, ignoring the last consonant ㅂ. But the last consonant doesn’t stand pat. Instead, it changes the sound of the next following consonant into the “stronger” sound, if possible. ㄱ changes into ㄲ; ㄷ into ㄸ; ㅂ into ㅃ; ㅅ into ㅆ, and; ㅈ into ㅉ. All other consonants’ sounds stay the same. So the word 넓다 is pronounced like 널따, i.e., n + eo + l / dd + a = neoldda. Make sure you follow this rule, because the same word without this rule would sound like 널다, which is a different word whose meaning is “to hang clothes to dry.” Conceptually, this rule is similar to the “batchim slide-over rule” described in Rule 2. Read on.

Advanced pronunciation rule 1.2 – There is one exception to this rule, and it’s when the last consonant is ㅎ. Instead of getting a “stronger” sound, the following consonant becomes “harsher” if possible. ㄱ turns into ㅋ; ㄷ into ㅌ; ㅈ into ㅊ, and ; ㅂ into ㅍ. So the word 많다 (“many”, “much”) is pronounced like 만타, which is m + a + n / t + a = manta.

Advanced pronunciation rule 2 – Remember consonant ㅇ was silent in the first position? So take a look at this word: 놀이 (“game” or “play”). Based on what you learned so far, it would be pronounced: n + o + l / i = nol-i. But that is incorrect. What happens is the batchim of the first letter slides over to the second letter, and takes over the empty space created by ㅇ. So the actual pronunciation of the word 놀이 is exactly the same as that of the word 노리, i.e. n + o / r + i = nori.

The rule: If the first character of a word has a second consonant after the vowel (batchim), and if the first character of the second letter in a word is ㅇ, the batchim slides over to the second letter and pronounced as if it is attached to the vowel of the second letter.

Advanced pronunciation rule 2.1 – Take a look at the chart, and you will realize that some of the consonants have different sounds depending on the position. For example, ㅊ is “ch” in the first position and “t” in the second position. So what happens if the sound-changing type of consonant slides over? Answer: That consonant recovers its first position sound.

Example: Take the word 볶음 (“stir fry”). The batchim ㄲ is pronounced identical to ㄱ as a batchim. But when it slides over, the word is pronounced like 보끔, i.e. b + o / kk + eu +m = bokkeum. This is important because the word 복음, pronounced like 보금, i.e. b + o / g + eu + m = bogeum, means “gospel”. Try not to order the gospel of chicken at a Korean restaurant.

Advanced pronunciation rule 2.2 – What about those pesky double batchim letters? Answer: only the last batchim slides over to the next word. So the word 넓이 (“breadth” or “width”) is pronounced like 널비, n + eo + l / b + i = neolbi.

Advanced pronunciation rule 3 – if a batchim is followed by ㅎ, the batchim is pronounced “harsher”. ㄱ turns into ㅋ; ㄷ and ㅈ into ㅊ, and ; ㅂ into ㅍ. (Technically, the “harsher” sound for ㄷ is ㅌ, but it turns into ㅊ in this situation only.) So the word 닫힌 (“closed”) is not pronounced like dat’hin, but like dachin, as if reading 다친.

Advanced pronunciation rule 4 – This rule is super-advanced, and Koreans themselves often get it wrong. The rule is: If two words combine to form a single new word, the first consonant of the second original word is pronounced “stronger” if possible (in order to signal that it is a compound word.) So again, ㄱ changes into ㄲ; ㄷ into ㄸ; ㅂ into ㅃ; ㅅ into ㅆ, and; ㅈ into ㅉ.

Example: the word 김밥 (Korean seaweed roll, variation of Japanese sushi roll) is made up of two words, 김 (“laver”, a type of seaweed) and 밥 (“steamed rice”). But the word 김밥 is not pronounced as “gim-bap”. Since it is a compound word made up of two words, it is properly pronounced “gim-bbap”. (Although many Koreans, including the Korean Father, pronounces is as gim-bap, forgetting the compound word rule.) Another example is the word 물병 (“water bottle”). It is not pronounced as “mul-byeong”; since the word is made up of the words 물 (“water”) and 병 (“bottle”), it is pronounced “mul-bbyeong”.

What if the stronger sound is not available for the following consonant? Then the following consonant is pronounced the same way. Thus, 물항아리 (“water jug”), although it is made up of the words 물 and 항아리, is pronounced as mul-hang-ari.

Last last words – The Korean has to warn you just one more time that he is just an amateur! If you see something wrong or missing, please tell him so that he can correct it.

Got a question or comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com.

Ask A Korean! News: Sorrow and Outrage over Trinity River Accident

Welcome back readers, the Korean is now fully moved into his new place, and the Internet connection is up and running. While the Internet was gone, the Korean was working on a few drafts and they are almost ready to go. But this piece of news had to be reported first.

Yesterday, near Dallas, TX, a Korean couple accidentally drove their car into Trinity River and drowned. The following is from Dallas Star-Telegram:

Officials have confirmed that a missing couple from Garland are the people whose bodies were found Wednesday morning in a car submerged in the Trinity River in southeast Dallas.

Young Kim, 60, and his 57-year-old wife, Sook Yun Kim, were identified Wednesday afternoon by the Dallas County Medical Examiner's Office.

.....

The 2006 Hyundai Sonata they drove was found submerged in water near a boat ramp below the Loop 12 bridge that spans the Trinity River, just south of Sleepy Hollow Country Club.

The area is about a half-mile east of the loop's intersection with I-45. Their destination on Sunnyvale Street was on the west side of Interstate 45, about two miles west of where the car was found.

"There are no obvious signs of foul play," said Senior Cpl. Donna Hernandez, police spokeswoman. "But there is a possibility that the time they were driving through the area could have been the same time that there were storms Monday afternoon.

"Possibly they were simply swept away. We just don't know right now."

Hernandez said investigators have confirmed that a cell phone belonging to the couple was used to make several 911 calls.

Emergency operators did not fully understand the calls, said Paul Lara, spokesman for Dallas Fire-Rescue.

The full story is here.

One preliminary thing - It annoys the hell out of the Korean when mainstream media mangles Korean names. The deceased husband's name is Young-Hwan Kim. There are very few one-syllable Korean first names. It's true that often Korean people only go by one of their syllables because it would be so hard for white people learn TWO unfamiliar sounds put together; but at least a newspaper article about a person could report the person's full name.

What is outrageous to the Korean is the last part of the quoted article. Basically, the Kims called 911 several times, and the 911 operators hung up on them several times, because the Kims did not speak English. Local Korean newspapers are reporting that the Kims called 911 at least 3 times, and after the calls were hung up, they called their friend trying to get him to call 911 and explain in English, and told him, "The water is coming in, please help us."

My goodness.

Yet the Korean is certain that there will always be some idiots who would think or write some trash like this. The best part is the following:

"Call me hard-hearted, but if you come to MY nation and spend over 20 years of YOUR life here (the Korean's note: it is true that the Kims lived in U.S. for 20 years), making money, enjoying the fruits of this land and ALL it has to offer and you don’t have the motivation to learn to speak English, or you don’t entertain the idea that after all that time you SHOULD become an American, to hell with you, I don’t care WHAT happens to you, you’re nothing but a leech on MY nation."

There are so many things the Korean would love to tear apart in the above the sentence, but allow me to just deal with one nagging question that gets asked to the Korean all the time: How can immigrants live in America for decades and never learn English?

The Korean went over this once, but now he sees that this question has to be answered more emphatically. LANGUAGE LEARNING PAST AGE 8 IS REALLY FUCKING HARD. IN FACT, AFTER AGE 30, IT'S VIRTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE. Learning a language is nothing like learning how to ride a bicycle. Learning to ride a bicycle is about learning to manipulate body parts in a certain way. But remember, you already know how to move those body parts, you just have to move them in a certain way. Language ability is a specific brain function, whose window is only open approximately between age 1 through 6. Learning a language is more like learning how to move your limbs. If you were strapped to a bed since birth and never learned how to move your limbs for 30 years, it would not matter that it has been 20 years since you have been unstrapped - you would never move your limbs as naturally as normal people for the rest of your life.

We always underestimate how difficult language learning is because we all know at least one language, and we are all experts in it. But here is a question: How many words do you think does an average six-year-old child knows? One thousand? Five thousand? Answer: 13,000 words. Think about that. It takes about six words a day every day of that child's life to learn 13,000 words. This cannot be done through a conscious memorization process. The first-language acquisition process is instinctive.

Think also about learning a language after that language instinct window closes. You have to learn 13,000 words in order to speak as well as a SIX YEAR OLD. A freakin' six year old! Can you even think of anything other than general vocabularies that you know 13,000 of? Can you name 13,000 different people? 13,000 different types of animals and plants?

Now imagine you are an immigrant in late 30s ~ early 40s, right about the time the unfortunately deceased Kims immigrated. You have a job and a family to take care of. Chances are your job is very tiring because hey, if it were easy, white people would be doing it instead. You get out very early for your job, and get back home very late. You are tired as a dog. Would you want to learn at least 50 words a month so that in 20 years, you can speak as well as a slightly slow 6 year old?

Didn't think so.

Two short points before we close up here:

1. The Korean's guess is that the Kims actually knew enough English to work. If they were in a calm situation, they would have been able to communicate what was going on. But they were minutes away from death, water rushing into their car. The Korean has had a chance to listen to many taped 911 calls -- they are barely intelligible, even in English. The Korean himself starts losing English when he's drunk! Minutes away from his death, the words out of the Korean's mouth would not be English either.

Which makes one wonder: Don't 911 operators deal with people minutes away from death all the time? This was not some hick town we are speaking of -- this is Dallas for God's sake, with plenty of immigrants. (Google Earth shows that the Kims were not even that far off of downtown Dallas.) And whoever said 911's job is to save only the lives of English/Spanish speakers? What if a foreign tourist were in an accident in Dallas -- are they condemned to die? Shouldn't they have at least one person who can speak different languages, so that they can save people from death?

2. What is amazing is that the Kims called 911 several times. We all know 911 dispatchers can track locations of phone calls. So if the dispatcher hears some unintelligible yet hysterical phone call from the same phone number and the same location several times in the middle of a storm, shouldn't the dispatcher send someone to that location no matter what may have been said over the phone?

The Korean can only hope that the surviving family would sue the hell out of Dallas Fire Department. The fact that members of one of the largest immigrant groups in America, in one of the largest cities in America, could die because the emergency response would hang up on their desperate pleas for their lives, is simply unacceptable.

Got a question or comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com.

Ask A Korean! News: Prince Fielder's hereto unknown Korean connection

Dear readers, the Korean is currently borrowing the Korean Girlfriend's laptop in order to report this amazing news of significant consequence.

On Friday, the Korean was watching the New York Mets versus Milwaukee Brewers baseball on his newly acquired HD TV, and the current major league home run leader Prince Fielder stepped into the box. Fielder is in the Korean's fantasy baseball team, the Inland Empire 66ers, so the Korean paid close attention.

Then the Korean noticed something so improbable that at first the Korean disbelieved his own eyes. The Korean reached for his remote, desperately hit "rewind" and "pause" on his DVR over and over and again, but it was there. So here is the news, reported for the first time here at Ask A Korean!:

Prince Fielder has a neck tattoo that says wangja ("prince") in Korean on his left neck. See the picture below.I mean, what the hell. Seriously, who the hell gets a tattoo in Korean? (Unless there is a good reason to, like Hines Ward who has his name tattooed in Korean because he is half-Korean.)

The Korean has no idea how to feel about this. On one hand, it could be seen as evidence that Korea is becoming more recognized in the U.S. in various ways. Formerly, East Asia consisted of China and Japan, and Korea was kind of an afterthought. But tattoo in foreign language is usually done because it is considered "exotic", so the Korean is not sure if this is the case that Korea is more known in the U.S.

The overwhelming feeling that the Korean experienced (especially upon looking at the picture again) was how stupid neck tattoos look. The Korean always thought neck tattoos were silly, but seeing one in letters that the Korean can recognize was really the clincher. Even if neck tattoos were in English, they are usually done in some Olde English font so they are not readily readable. But Prince Fielder's neck tattoo is written in plain, legible Korean. It is as if some regular Korean dude was hanging out and drinking with Prince Fielder one night, then Fielder passes out, and the Korean dude picked up a marker and wrote it on his neck as a joke. (Like poor Zach Braff here in Garden State.)

Did anyone else notice any Korean tattoos on people? The Korean would love to hear your story. Please write on the comment, or email the Korean.

Got a question or comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com

Swing a dead cat to hit a Kim

Dear Korean,

Why do so many Koreans have the last name of Kim? What's a "high" Kim and what's a "low" Kim?

Walter H. Sakai
Professor of Biology, Santa Monica College

Dear Professor Sakai,

There really are a lot of Korean Kims. Kim is the most common last name in Korea, making up roughly 20 percent of the population -- which makes it about 10 million Kims. According to Los Angeles Times article that spoke about racial diversity in Los Angeles County, Lopez and Kim were two examples of ethnic last names that were more common than Smith. Other very common last names are Lee (15 percent) and Park (10 percent). Kim, Lee, and Park put together is about 45 percent of the Korean population.

Why so many Kims? Kim was the last name for the oldest and longest dynasty of Korea, namely Silla Dynasty, born in 57 BC and perished in 935 AD. In the early period, Silla had three rotating last names for kings -- Park clan was the one that started the Dynasty, then Seok clan, then Kim clan. Over time, Kim clan became the most powerful, and eventually all Silla kings were from the Kim clan for over 700 years. Since Kims were royalties and noblemen, their population was bound to become large.

There is not exactly a "high" or "low" Kim, but Kims (just like all other last names in Korea) are divided into a number of clans and subclans. The largest Kim clan is Gimhae Kims, which has more than 4 million members. There are certain last names that used to only belong to lower-class people (e.g. Cheon, Bang, Ji, Chu, Ma, Gol, Pih). But the significance of family lineage has greatly diminished in the modern era; frankly, no one but old coots care about last names in Korea anymore.

Got a question or comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com.

Psycho Mass Murderer Edition

Thank you for waiting folks, the Korean is back after the busiest three-week stretch of his life. The Korean must say that every time he tries to get some rest from the Korean-American world, something always happens to pull him back in.

First, the Korean’s sincerest condolence and regret to the families of the Virginia Tech shooting. These are the times that the Korean is glad being a Christian, so that he can pray for the people; it’s also satisfying to believe that Cho Seung-hui will be in hell for eternity.

Honestly, the Korean does not think Adam Cho have put the Korean American community in danger. (“Adam” is the psycho killer’s English name by the way. If Cho was like most Korean Americans, there would be less than three people in the world – his father, mother, and maybe his sister – who called him Seung-hui when he was alive. On the other hand, it is funny and annoying to see people mangling that name that no one used when he was alive. Back to the topic.)

This is not another 9/11, where there is a sense that America was under attack by foreigners, and that foreigner might be that guy wearing a turban. Cho’s actions were so clearly psychopathic that possibly no one who is halfway non-stupid can entertain the thought that being a Korean had something to do with propensity for mass murder.

Yet the world is full of stupid people, and they try their best acting stupid. So we would have such news report from New York Times and ABC that Cho’s picture of holding a hammer looks just like scenes from Oldboy. The Korean can see the thought process as if it’s displayed in a glass case: Let’s see, the psycho killer is Korean, so something Korean must have turned him psycho… what’s the first psychotic Korean thing I can name? … I know, Oldboy! Let’s reverse this thought process: Hmm, the psycho killer lived in America since young, so something American must have turned him psycho… where have I seen double handguns? … I know, Gary Cooper from High Noon! It’s gotta be the old Western films that turn people into mass murders! Give me a break.

The thing that makes the Korean most disappointed is that even with this, Second Amendment will live on. As long as someone lives in Virginia, he can buy any number of handguns and go on a rampage. The Korean cannot believe that it is not a bigger deal. Look, murderous psychos will always be there. Then why isn’t it more efficient to take the methods of killings away? It makes no sense. Follow Korea’s lead for once: criminalize gun possession, and lock up hunting guns during non-hunting season.

What is more interesting is the Korean people’s reaction to this. Koreans, in short, completely flipped out. The guilt trip about the fact that Cho was a Korean was simply enormous, and they desperately tried to find a way to apologize to America. Apparently, the Korean ambassador at D.C. even suggested fasting as a show of condolence and regret.

The Korean can try to somehow explain Korean’s people’s reaction through something about Korean culture – how it’s like every Korean is a family, and you take responsibility for actions of family members, not just yourself, and all that garbage. But that’s simply untrue, and saying such a thing is dishonest. Korean people flipped out because they are racists; there can be no other explanation. Only thing that Korean people can see about Cho is his race, and they reacted accordingly. They desperately try to apologize to Americans because, if the situation was reversed and 32 Koreans died in the hands of a deranged American, all Americans in Korea will be lynched.

In making this point, some Korean commentators have been giving the example of the two girls who were accidentally run over by American tanks, and how Korean people reacted strongly to that. The Korean thinks that’s a bad example, because American army represents the American government. More relevant is a case that happened a few months ago, when a Chinese man was arrested for killing his Korean girlfriend and dismembering her body. That prompted an Internet firestorm of how Chinese people in Korea are all crazy killers and they need to be driven away.

Readers, please don’t let anyone try to convince you otherwise. America is the least racist country in the world, and you should be grateful that you live here.

Can’t We All Just Get Along?

(Before we begin – the AsianWeek magazine is now embroiled in a controversy because it published a column by an idiot named Kenneth Eng called “Why I hate blacks.” Since then, AsianWeek pulled the column, fired Eng, and issued an apology. The Korean can’t believe that people are pre-empting what he is about to write. The Korean hopes this post would help.)

Dear Korean,

So what is the relationship of Koreans and black people? Why the prejudice? Why do you think when a white man marries a Korean woman they are viewed as a cute couple, but if it is the same is for a black man they question the woman’s character?

Black man happily married to a Korean for 25 years, and no, I was not in the Army in Korea.

- William J.

Dear Korean,

Please explain Korean people’s strong prejudice against black soldiers (your words). My uncle, a black man, died in the Korean War. This is not an angry email, just an attempt to understand. Thank you.

- Kevin

Dear William and Kevin,

First, to Kevin. The Korean is deeply grateful for your uncle. The Korean is often flip in this blog, but he is most serious in this occasion. If it were not for American soldiers’ sacrifice in the Korean War, the Korean would probably be starving somewhere in communized Korea, writing for the BS website that the dictatorial government set up.

But the Korean is afraid that you misunderstood the earlier post. The Korean is certain that there was relatively less prejudice against black soldiers at the time of Korean War. But there is no question that since then, Koreans (and Korean-Americans alike) developed strong prejudice against black folks – and that is essentially why William’s question arose.

To put it bluntly, many Koreans and Korean Americans tend to be racist toward black people. The Korean wishes it were otherwise, but it is true. Below is the reason why.

Racism as a Heuristic

What is racism? As we all know, racism is broadly defined as passing a judgment upon an individual based on the individual’s race. And racism is an evil because we cannot control our race, and our race has an extremely poor correlation to our character.

However, see it from the judgment-passer’s point of view, and the reason why people become racists begins to make sense. Racism is a type of what cognitive scientists call “heuristics” – basically, making decisions based on analytical shortcuts. A simple example: our cognition tells us that “it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck.” Then our conscience concludes that “it’s a duck.”

Heuristics is a big part of the way humans deal with things, because humans don’t have the time to evaluate everything around them. It is effective to engage in heuristics because first of all, it takes too much energy to remember everything about a certain thing. Think of it from the perspective of evolutionary biology. Suppose we were out hunting, and our fellow was killed by a saber tooth tiger. Do we remember everything about that saber tooth tiger for a future reference? No, we only remember the most salient features of the animal, which would be its size, color, and the two fangs.

Heuristics is efficient because in most cases, humans don’t need a 100 percent right answer. Going back to the example, suppose while we are roaming the field hunting, we run into an animal that appears to be large, yellow-ish, and has two large fangs. Do we stay and completely evaluate whether or not this animal is in fact a saber tooth tiger and therefore dangerous? No, we run for our lives.

So heuristics work in two steps. First, when we encounter a new thing, we create a “tag” in our mind to associate with the new thing’s characteristics. Always, without fail, that tag is a highly visible and readily identifiable trait. Second, when we see that tag in another new thing, we draw conclusion that the second new thing is the same as the first thing. The process is hardly foolproof, but it’s extremely effective – it probably allowed human race to survive this long.

The application is the same in our modern life. We always create a quick tag to describe things around us, (e.g., “George W. Bush is an idiot,” “Southerners are conservative,” “Canadians are slow”) and for most things we don’t bother to learn more. We do it because we don’t need to learn everything about everything, and we can’t possibly learn everything about everything. The next step is the same too. For example, popular perception has created a heuristic statement of “blonds are dumb.” Once we have that heuristic in our head, next time we see a blond, our mind will point toward “dumb.”

So, as we consider Koreans and racism, we have to think in terms of heuristics – what the markers are, and what the conclusion is.

Racist Heuristic Step 1 – Markers

Heuristic markers are something that stands out very prominently. Then, what stands out more than how different black people’s appearances are from Korean people’s? The skin tone of a black person is something that no Korean has ever seen. But it goes beyond the skin tone. The question that the Korean gets asked most from his Korean relative and friends about black people’s appearance is: how do they manage their hair, especially if they are braided? Do they even wash it? If they do, how?

In short, black people are really, really foreign to Koreans – to a much greater degree than white people. At one point in Korean history (until shortly after Korean War,) white people were just as foreign. The Korean’s parents’ generation would talk about how white people have blond hair and a big nose. (One derogatory Korean term for a white person is ko-jaeng-i, roughly translated as a “noser” or “nosie.”) But several decades passed, American movies and TV shows steadily streamed into Korea, and Korean people got used to white people. Although white people looked different from Koreans, they seemed like a variation on a theme. (Do you now understand why colored people make such a big deal about how Friends had no black person in it?)

Racist Heuristic Step 2 – Conclusions

So when a Korean sees a black person, his/her skin tone, coarse hair, etc are the only thing that stays in mind. In some sense, it is already racist at this step because that Korean would not probe deeper into that black person’s character. But what makes Koreans really racists are the heuristic conclusions that they derive from the skin tone.

What are the conclusions? The same conclusions that the mainstream society gives to black people – lazy, dirty, prone to crime, addicted to drugs, closer to animals than humans. Why is that?

In part, it has to do with a bias within Koreans with regards to skin tone. Koreans are, being Asian, yellow. But actual skin tone of any given Korean in fact varies by a ton – nearly covering the spectrum of the whitest of the white and the blackest of the black. And among Koreans, there is a bias of favoring the light-skinned people, and disfavoring dark skin tones. Why? Because dark skin means that you are one of the peasants, out in the field and working all day under the sun. Light skinned people are the nobility – they can afford to stay at home and out of the sun.

Absurdly—evidencing that old habits die hard—this line of thinking still somewhat persists, and one standard for a Korean beauty is (in the Korean’s opinion) sickly paleness. Hot, sexy tan is fairly popular in Korea now, but that is an extremely recent phenomenon – no older than 7~8 years. (Largely thanks to this woman on the right. Her name is Lee, Hyo-ri, a very popular singer.) So between white people who are paler than noblest Korean, and black people who are darker than the commonest Korean, there is a built-in disadvantage.

Also, one cannot ignore the racism in the American mainstream. Whatever racism we have as a country, we indirectly teach it to the new immigrants to our country and to the whole world through our dominance in movies and television shows. No one in the world, and certainly no Korean, is dumb enough to not realize that in a movie, a black guy always dies. Especially in Korea where people have no chance to see a black person other than through mass media, there is no way for their racist perception to be corrected by actually knowing a black person.

But the Korean thinks it’s fair to say that, as Bill Cosby pointed out, at least some black people provide the fodder for those conclusions. (The Korean will leave the question of whether or not the mainstream society is responsible for the high rate of black crime, drug addiction, etc., to another day.) On this point, another factor to consider is that a lot of Korean Americans live in the ghetto, doing business right in the middle of it. Often they are victims of crimes, often perpetrated by black folks.

Especially in the 1992 LA Riot, the rioting black folks looted the stores in their neighborhood, most of them owned by Koreans. (The MTV documentary on the LA riot made in 2002 devotes a portion to the riot’s impact on Korean Americans.) Stories spread from Korean Americans to Koreans in Korea, and the reputation of the black folks was shot down further from the already low status.

Then again, heuristics being what it is, if there is a black robber robbing a Korean-owned liquor store, the only thing that the store owner will remember is the fact that the robber was black. And the racism perpetuates.

So, What Next?

The Korean situation is merely a mirror to the larger problem of we have as a society. Korean people are no better or worse than anyone in world – everyone in the world relies on heuristics, and racism is such a strong force even to this day because of it. Even in America, which in the Korean’s opinion the least racist country in the world, plenty of people rely on racist heuristics.

For example, Fisher DeBerry, former Air Force football coach, when asked why his team was losing, remarked that it was because his team lacked speed because Air Force team did not have enough black people on it – all the while the equally black-player-sparse Brigham Young University was putting up a 9-win season. But then again, who has not thought about whether being black makes you a better athlete as s/he watched a sporting event?

The only way to combat racist heuristics is to make people aware that they are making a snap decision that is wrong, unfair, and evil. America has been trying to do this for the last several decades, and slowly it has been making progress. We must keep this up.

The Korean will end this in a hopeful note. In 1999, a Korean grocer, Mrs. Chung-Bok Hong, was shot and killed by robbers at the parking lot next to her store in South Central Los Angeles, heart of the LA ghetto. Her funeral was held in a catholic church in South Central, and hundreds of mourners packed the church, most of them black residents of South Central. Many of the mourners did not know her real name; everyone in the neighborhood just called her “Mama.” Here is a part of the story from the LA Times:

A few blocks away, graffiti writers had covered a wall outside her store with messages revealing a tangle of emotions. "Nothing but love for you, Mama," said one. … Jerrell White, an African American resident who has lived in the neighborhood for 34 years, said Hong was accepted in South-Central because she treated people with dignity, regardless of their station in life. "She didn't take no B.S. from you," he said. "But that was all right, because she was Mama."

Now there’s a woman who did not rely on racist heuristics, but consciously decided to look past people’s colors and into their character.

(If you would like to read the whole story, it ran on Feb. 12, 1999, byline Steve Berry, headline CALLS FOR JUSTICE MARK FUNERAL OF SLAIN GROCER.)

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com.

Korea-Japan Relation Saga, Part III – WWII

See other posts in this series: Part I Part II Part IV Part V

This post is a particularly difficult for the Korean to write because, after all, he received a good amount of education in Korea, especially when he was young and impressionable. It is difficult for the Korean to be objective, but he will try his best.

We are still dealing with the question as to why Koreans hate Japanese so much. If you only read one post out of this series, the Korean recommends this one. Although there is plenty of bad blood that goes back thousands of years (as the Korean illustrated in earlier posts,) the old bad blood only comes back because the modern relation between the two countries was so incredibly bad.

First, some historical background. By early 20th century, Japan was emerging as a world-scale superpower both in terms of its economy and military strength. Its status was simply unrivaled in East and Southeast Asia, which produced no other nation that measured up to Japan. Subsequently, Japan began colonizing Korea and China. Korea was annexed to Japan in 1910, and was not liberated until 1945 after Japan had lost World War II.

It is important to realize that the nature of Japan’s 36 year rule of Korea was brutal and exploitative, in a way that was fundamentally different from most European colonization. European countries colonized areas that were not exactly “nations” in a modern sense, like India and sub-Saharan Africa. In India, for example, there was no shared sense of nationhood between Bengalis in the north and Tamils in the south. (In fact, they don’t even speak the same language, and to this day must use English to communicate.)

On the other hand, Korea had a very strong sense of nationhood that lasted for thousands of years; furthermore, Korea had despised its island neighbor for its lack of cultural achievements. Japan’s rule over Korea was therefore completely unacceptable to Koreans everywhere, and Koreans rebelled in a scale that was incomparable to any other colonized regions in the world. In reaction, in order to maintain its colony, the Japanese colonial government was constantly on surveillance, and its brutality escalated over the period of colonization, peaking at the end of World War II.

When one (especially a Western one) hears the words “Atrocities of World War II”, the first response would always be “Holocaust.” And there is no doubt that it is a good answer. On the other hand, such a focus on Holocaust tends to blind us from other atrocities of World War II. And it is a historical fact that many of those atrocities were committed by Japan, upon Korea and China. This is not to diminish the horror of Holocaust. There certainly has not been any mass murder that was as wide-scale, efficient, and systematic (and therefore horrific) as Holocaust. The atrocities committed by Japan are smaller in scale (because they didn’t quite kill 10 million people) and less systematic (because some of them essentially involved soldiers running amok while the government didn’t do anything, e.g. the Rape of Nanking, whereas the Holocaust was actively organized by the government.) But the Korean believes that the Japanese atrocities are at least as depraved as the Holocaust, if not more. It’s like trying to compare Timothy McVeigh and Charles Manson. McVeigh killed a lot more people after a lot more preparation, but Manson tortured his victims.

Here is the list of atrocities committed by Japan to Korea. They are organized by the Korean’s subjective ordering of least depraved to most depraved. Read on, and see if you agree with what the Korean said so far. For the things for which Wikipedia has an entry, the Korean provided a link. That does not mean that the Korean thinks the Wikipedia entries are entirely correct; they are there just for the sake of reference.

Various Cultural Affronts – the biggest thing under this category would be Japan’s attempt to change Korean names into Japanese style names, known as Chang-ssi-gae-myeong. As the Korean explained before, family name is extremely important to Koreans, and forcing to change them is an intolerable insult. Japan also stole innumerable treasures from Korea, such as porcelain products, paintings, old books, and so on.

Another affront was more subtle. The Japanese colonial government turned the main palace of the Korean Emperor into a zoo. Many palace buildings were torn down – the most notable is Gyeong-bok-gung, half of which was torn down to make way for the colonial government building. Still another is borderline hokey. The colonial government drove in hundreds of steel shafts into major mountain peaks in Korea, under the belief that doing so will cripple the spirit of the land. The shafts were still being dug out in Korea to this day.

Murder of Empress Myeong-Seong – Empress Myeong-seong was a strong-minded wife of Emperor Go-jong. She was a shrewd politician and a diplomat, who often tried to use other superpowers (mostly Russia) in the region to check the rising influence of Japan upon Korea. A Japanese lieutenant general (with or without the backing of the Japanese government is unclear) commissioned what is essentially a band of Japanese thugs to enter the imperial palace in broad daylight and stabbed the Empress to death. Her body was carried away into a corner of the palace and burned by the same band. This historical fact was recently recreated in a musical “Last Empress”, which played in the U.S. in 1998. Read the Wikipedia article here. (Scroll down to “Eul-mi Incident.”)

Kanto Massacre – in 1923, there was a massive earthquake in Kanto, Japan, which killed more than 50,000 people. In the aftermath of the earthquake, the Japanese government declared martial law, and issued a special advisory that Koreans were conspiring to commit murder, rape, arson, and poisoning the wells. This created a mob riot and massacring of Koreans living in Japan. Up to 6,000 Koreans are believed to have been killed. Read the Wikipedia article here. (Scroll down to “post quake violence”.)

Forced Labor – As World War II intensified, Japanese government drafted Korean men for its war efforts. The number ranges anywhere between 300,000 to 1 million. They were mostly put in hard labor, usually in mines or factories. Quite a few of them (estimates range from 20,000 to 200,000) were killed or injured in mines or factories with substandard (to put it nicely) labor conditions.

Torture and Massacre – Japanese colonial government liberally tortured those who were arrested on the suspicion of independence movement for Korea. The most well-documented case is that of Yoo, Guan-soon, who was a 19-year-old student of Ewha School when she played a key role in organizing the March 1st Movement, the largest mass-protest against the Japanese rule in 1919. Yoo was arrested and died in prison; her teachers at Ewha were able to retrieve her body because Ewha was established by Americans and Principal James Fry of Ewha threatened diplomatic actions if the body was not returned. The returned body of Yoo was in six pieces; her scalp was missing; her nose and ears had been cut off, and all of her finger and toenails were plucked off.

Brutal suppression of independence movement was not limited to individuals. In response to the March 1st Movement, in April 5th, 1919, Japanese military police marched into a village of Je-am-li, a village known for its Christian-based independence movement. The police rounded up roughly 30 Christians in the village into the town church, locked the doors and set the building on fire. 22 died trapped in the building, and 8 were shot outside of the church as they tried to escape.

Comfort Women – As World War II raged on, the Japanese military, directly and indirectly, rounded up between 100,000 and 200,000 women to be used sex slaves, euphemistically called “Comfort Women”, for the Japanese soldiers. These women were usually raped 20 times a day, and as many as 40 times a day, according to accounts from survivors. The women were mostly Korean and Chinese, but there were also a few Dutch and Australian (read: white) women kidnapped from Dutch Indies and various Pacific islands. Read the Wikipedia article here.

Unit 731 – this one is so incredibly depraved that the Korean can’t even go into describing it. He will only say that it was a secret medical unit of the Japanese military, conducting various human experiments. The Wikipedia entry is here. Just read it.

So, why do Koreans hate the Japanese?

How can they not?

-EDIT Oct. 21, 2008 7:07 p.m. EST- While the Korean put this part of the Korea-Japan saga as a representative sample, please remember that this is only one part of a four-part series. The Korean has been noticing that many of the comments here could have been addressed simply by reading other parts of the series. Therefore, please read all four parts before expressing any opinion. The Korean believes his readers are intelligent: waiting to grasp the full picture before opening one's mouth is the least that an intelligent person can do.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com.

Military Stories

(If you are not familiar with the concept of Goon-dae, please read this post first.)

A reader sent the Korean this:

My daddy loves to tell his military stories! The most traumatic to me as a young girl (regretfully, his firstborn was a girl, and by over five years - although he adjusted by making me a badass) was the story about digging tunnels through snow in his underwear in the bitter Korean winters.

The most traumatic story about The War, which was always told when I would complain about my writing callus on my right middle finger, was that the Korean men who wanted to avoid being drafted into the war would cut off the top joint so as not to show that they were "learned." I think this story is a little questionable - but it was also echoed by John Irving in "A Prayer for Owen Meany."

Also, we used to torment my younger brother together by telling him to be tough because his military time was impending. This continued until my brother was about 14 or so and the weeping was no longer funny. Like I said - my daddy made me a badass.

Great column- informative and funny!

Korean Girl
Birmingham, Alabama

Honestly, the Korean is amazed by the fact that Korean people are alive in Birmingham, AL. The Korean's roommate in his freshman year in college is from Decatur, AL (which the Korean Former Roommate stresses that it is the fourth largest city in Alabama -- as if that means anything -- and home to the second largest Wal-Mart in America.) The Korean is invited to his wedding, and the Roommate told the Korean to bring a rope cutter, so that the Korean may get down from the tree after the Roommate's Klan friends attempt to hang him.

The Korean is certain that naked trench-digging must have happened during the Korean War. The Korean War was a low-tech, trench warfare, and the provisions for the Gook-goon ("National Army" of South Korea, as opposed to In-min-goon, "People's Army" of North Korea) were pretty crappy. So maybe not quite naked, but certainly in thin or tattered clothes.

But the callus part can't be correct; you need to cut off your index finger to avoid the army, so that you can't pull a trigger. (That is exactly what happens in Prayer for Owen Meany -- a good novel by John Irving.) The correct version of the story is this: during the Korean War, the learned men, who are the only people who developed a learning callus in their middle finger in those times, cut off their middle finger because the People's Army would kill anyone who is learned, because learned = no physical labor = rich = bourgeois oppressor.

But this is more of an urban legend. It is true that sporadically, the People's Army rounded up the landowners and learned men of a village and killed them all. But if the middle finger-severing was a common occurrence, there must have been a lot of old, learned folks missing a finger, and that is simply not the case. At best, it may have happened to no more than a few people, and the story spread due to its preposterous gruesomeness.

At any rate, thank you Korean Girl for sending in a Goon-dae story! Over the winter, the Korean hung out with some friends who finished their service, and again heard an earful of military stories. Here are the two funniest ones:

1. One friend of the Korean's friend served as a driver for a 3-star general. On the first day of his assignment, he was extremely nervous, because in the military, a general can punch out God. As he drove, military protocol required him to say "byeon-sok hap-ni-da!" ("switching gears!") every time he switched gears. Instead, he was so nervous that he ended up saying "byeon-sin hap-ni-da! byeon-sin hap-ni-da!" ("transforming! transforming!") After the unfortunate driver said that a few times, the general retorted, "hap-che-neun an-ha-nyah?" ("Do we also combine together?" -- a la Voltron.)

2. The Korean's friend served as a military photographer. One day, one sergeant was supposed to receive a medal from a 4-star general, and the Korean's friend was present to take the picture. Before the sergeant received the medal, he was supposed to first salute the general, then state "Byeong-jang, Kim Han-soo!" ("Sergeant Kim Han-soo!") Instead, he got so nervous in front of the general that he ended up saying "Byeong-jang, Kim Byeong-jang!" ("Sergeant Kim Sergeant!" -- this probably happened because in the Korean military, people address you by your last name, followed by your rank.)

The Korean is still waiting to hear hilarious Goon-dae stories, so please readers, email away!

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@hotmail.com.