Sunday, December 30, 2012

Most Popular AAK! Posts of 2012

Here is a quick look at the most popular AAK! posts of 2012, by the number of page view.

Most Viewed Posts of 2012 (All-Time)

1.  Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Korean Men
2.  The Ultimate Korean Looks List
  
The Korean is resigned to the fact that AAK! has become a dating advice site for ladies who are looking for Korean men.

Most Viewed Posts of 2012 (Written in 2012)


Korean diet became an instant classic as soon as it appeared on the blog. 

Thank you everyone for reading this blog. See you next year!

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@gmail.com.

Monday, December 24, 2012

Readers - please do this one favor

Dear readers,

Despite numerous chances to put the blog behind a pay wall or put up ads on the blog, the Korean steadfastly kept the blog clean and pristine for your maximum reading pleasure. So you guys could do me this one favor, right? :)

For some reason, beginning around a couple of weeks ago, Facebook would not allow linking to Ask a Korean! on anyone's Timeline, apparently because AAK! is an unsafe site of some sort. As you guys know, that's not true.

If you guys found this blog helpful at all, could you please take 2 minutes to help getting the message to Facebook that this blog is not a spam site? All you have to do is to attempt to link to any part of this blog on Facebook, and when the error message comes up, click the link "let us know" and copy/paste the message below:
I was trying to link to a blog called Ask a Korean! (askakorean.blogspot.com). The blog is not unsafe by any measure. It is a blog that is visited by thousands of people every day, including by journalists for major media outlets such as the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, and so on. Please unblock Ask a Korean! as soon as possible. Thank you.
Thank you very much! Happy holidays.

-EDIT- Looks like it's fixed! Thank you everyone.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@gmail.com.

Ask a Korean! News: the World's Saddest Flashmob

As the Korean explained previously, Korea celebrates Christmas, but not in the same way Americans do. Except for Christians in Korea -- who celebrate Christmas in a similar way as Christians around the world -- Christmas in Korea is basically an extra Valentine's Day, in which young couples get together for a romantic date concluded by gift-exchanging.

This is the kind of image that "Christmas" evokes in the minds of Koreans.
(source)
You can guess how well this sits with Korean young people who are single. But this year, the singles of Korea decided to do something about it. Two young men jokingly planned an event called the Battle of the Solos [솔로 대첩], which went viral online. So it was actually going to happen: on Christmas Eve, thousands of men and women would gather on opposite ends of the Yeouido Park. Single guys will wear white; single gals will wear red, by 3 p.m.. At the signal, the two groups would run toward each other like prospectors running into the empty lands of Oklahoma. By the miracle of love, the lonely hearts will meet, and spontaneous dating will happen all over the city. It's heart-warming. More than 36,000 people signed up on Facebook, which caused Seoul city government to deploy a thousand policemen at the Yeouido Park as a precautionary measure. Inspired by Seoul, the singles in other cities around Korea also called the meeting on Christmas Eve.

Did it work? Well, it half-worked. Specifically, the dude half. This is what it looked like:

A vision of solo hell.
(source)
Here is a bird's eye view:

Red circle = girls. Yellow circle = guys. Yeah.
(source)

It actually was not quite as grim as the pictures above. Apparently, out of the 1,000 or so attendees, 300 were women. Also, at least a few people did manage to secure a date for Christmas, like this newly created couple:

(source)

But it was clear that this event could not overcome the same fundamental problem that plagues any mass speeding dating:  gender disparity. Even the women who attended did so with their significant others, simply there to witness the spectacle of the world's saddest flash mob. In fact, the thought that this might work probably shows why the two guys who thought of this idea do not have a girlfriend.

The winner of the event -- other than the lucky few that did manage to find a date -- is, clearly, Korea's Internet, which sparkled with many hilarious jokes. In Busan, a city renowned for its tough, macho guys, there were so few women that the male attendees changed the event into an impromptu wrestling match. In Jeju, exactly three guys showed up, stared at one another for about 15 minutes, then left. At Seoul, it was estimated that the most frequent attendees were: (1) the police; (2) pigeons; (3) men, followed by reporters, street vendors, cars, and then women. The situation was also likened to the ratio of sperms and an egg. Here is the Korean's favorite one:  "Battle of the Solos was organized so that all the singles would be concentrated into a single geographic area, opening up the rest of the city for couples on dates."

Merry Christmas everyone. Don't spend it alone.

Got a question or comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@gmail.com.

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Best of the Worst 2012

Did the world end yet? No, it only feels like that whenever the Korean receives these stupid emails. Despite seeing the examples of dumb questions from 2008, 2009, 2010 (in Parts I, II, and III) and 2011, people simply do not learn.

So here is another edition of AAK!'s end of the year tradition -- the worst emails of the year 2012. As always, these are all real emails that the Korean really received. Other than redacting personal information, not a single thing about the email is changed or modified in any way.

---------------------------------------
re:  your picture

Dear onyeka,

I saw your picture in the internet and decided to write you a mail, because you have so hot body and penis! Wow!

You should know that! 
XXX, Adriana

Adriana was attempting to reach the winner of the Best of the Worst 2009. The Korean always wondered if women were attracted by a dong shot. Now he does not wonder any more.

re: Request for info

Hullo ,
    I came across your helpful blog .
    I wonder whether you can help me get the email id of some of LG Korea's
top officials --  Koo Bon-Moo , Koo Bon-Joon , etc. I have some
complaints regarding service of my LG TV back here in India. The
problem is primarily  the non cooperative attitude of some of the
Indians working for LG here.
    LG Korea has a website , but Google Translate somehow does not work.

    Any help from your end is appreciated.

   Cheers ,
      Ramesh.

Gotta love the multiple levels of stupidity involved in this one. Don't like LG customer service in India? Why, of course you should email LG's top executives! How do you get the emails of LG's top executives? You should ask this random Korean guy on the Internet! He did tell you to ask, right?

(More after the jump)

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@gmail.com.


Friday, December 14, 2012

Normal Reaction to a Gun

Dear Korean,

I've been a fan of Korean action-thrillers for a while now, but there's something weird that I think only happens in Korean movies: there are almost no guns. Even when the main character is a gangster/assassin/cop is more usual to find them using knives, bats or just kicking around than shooting. And when someone uses one people around them act like they have pulled out a bomb (the recent
Ajeossi for example.) Is there any reason for that (gun control or something)?

Al

The answer to this question is easy, and was partially covered in a previous post about gun control in Korea. Guns are extremely rare in Korea -- private ownership of a gun is virtually nonexistent. 

The recent hit Korean movie 26 Years, which shows the plot to assassinate former president Chun Doo-hwan, gives a good showing of just how difficult it is to obtain a gun in Korea. In the movie, one of the main characters -- a young woman who is an Olympian shooter -- has to resort to a makeshift air-pump gun as her weapon. Most Koreans live their lives without ever seeing a gun, except for males who serve in the military. So if a Korean person saw a gun in ordinary circumstances -- heck, even in relatively unordinary circumstances, like fighting bad guys -- the normal reaction is a stunned paralysis, at least initially.

(source)
Obviously, this post is in reaction to the unspeakable tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut -- another mass shooting, this time killing 27, 18 of them little children. (-EDIT- Now it's 20 children. Good lord.) It is safe to say that this type of event only happens in Korea very, very, very rarely. In fact, mass murder of a comparable scale (outside of military context) happened only once in modern Korean history. In contrast, U.S. has had a mass school shooting -- just school shooting -- once every month since the Columbine High School massacre in 1999.

In fact, the Korean realized something today:  Americans will never know just how much of a peace of mind there can be in a society whose people lack the capacity to kill randomly, how liberating it is to not live in fear of strangers all the time, not to have that dark fear in the corner of our minds that something horrible can happen to our little children because a deranged maniac can obtain guns any time he wants to.

If you still think there is absolutely nothing wrong with America's gun culture after this, go on feeling that way. If the senseless deaths of 20 toddlers do not change your mind about guns, why would this post be any more effective? Go on and keep living in fear of others, hoping that your gun -- your voodoo god of safety -- will ward off the threat. Just know that, in the majority of the civilized world, people feel much safer without that voodoo god in their lives, because it is a savage god that requires constant human sacrifice.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@gmail.com.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

AAK! PSA: Donate to NK News!

The good folks from NK News has this PSA:
Today we’re very happy to announce another new addition to our growing portfolio, THE NK NEWS FUNDRAISING SHOP.

Although NK NEWS is currently run on love, as our reach and audience have expanded, so too have our running costs!

So to keep the ship afloat, we’re running a campaign asking for donations from you, our loyal readers, to help us raise enough money to keep NK NEWS reporting from the frontline of North Korea in 2013.
The fundraising shop has two neat things:  North Korea's Most Wanted card deck, and a calendar with photos from North Korea.

NK News has a feature called Ask a North Korean. Among all the Ask a Korean! knockoffs, the Korean is the proudest for having inspired this knockoff. If you have not yet checked it out, you should.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@gmail.com.

Friday, December 07, 2012

Quick Thought about PSY's Past Anti-American Lyrics

Imagine you live in Manhattan.

(source)
Now, imagine that, Central Park does not look like this ...

(source)
But instead, looks more like this.

(source)
For maximum emotional effect, imagine those soldiers looked really different from you. There are thousands of those soldiers in Central Park alone, and thousands more all over the state of New York. Also, there is no cross-town bus that goes through the Park. If you lived in Upper West Side and wanted to get to Upper East Side, you had to up all the way up to the 110th street and back down.

Now, think about the implications of having thousands of soldiers in the heart of your city. What would those young men do on their off days? They might visit a brothel. So now, imagine that Upper West Side, between 72th and 79th streets between Central Park West and Amsterdam, has nothing but seedy bars and whorehouses, with ladies soliciting business in the broad daylight, kind of like this:

(source)
But hey, there's more. After all, these are young men. And young men do dumb shit. Like, say, beating up a cab driver (and the NYPD officer that attempted to stop the beating.) Or breaking into a house and raping a young girl. Or rape, kill and brutally mutilate the body of a prostitute. Or (negligently or not, you can't prove it) run over young school girls with their armored car while getting to their training ground in White Plains. Suppose all those things happen once every two or three months. It's so bad that the commanders of those soldiers impose a nighttime curfew to stop those knuckleheads, but they just don't stop.

And worse yet, New York's law enforcement has no power over them. Once these soldiers return to inside of Central Park, NYPD can't even arrest them. Manhattan DAs can't prosecute them. New Yorkers have absolutely no power to do anything about these soldiers.

If you are a New Yorker in this situation, wouldn't you sometimes want to say:  "FUCK THESE PEOPLE"?

This is the situation in Seoul. USFK is located in the heart of Seoul, through no subway or bus may pass. The area of Seoul around the base has been a giant, seedy ghetto. (Although, to be fair, the Itaewon area is currently experiencing a renaissance of sorts.) All the crimes described above -- from petty to horrifying -- actually happened, and are happening now. And until recently, Korean law enforcement had very little power to do anything about it.

Look, the Korean knows that the situation is more nuanced. (It always is.) He, as well as any Korean, is also aware that U.S. played a vital role in securing freedom in South Korea. Without USFK, there is no free Korea. Don't think Korean people are not grateful about that, because they are. The Korean is also aware that many in the USFK do a lot of good in Korea in the form of community service and volunteering. But they are not enough reasons for Koreans to grovel and let everything slide. Inevitably, some Koreans will make an outburst, sometimes publicly, sometimes as a song.

Does this excuse PSY's crude, anti-American lyrics? Of course not, just as much as USFK's good deeds do not excuse some GI's murders and rapes. The point is this: there is a dangerous level of ignorance among Americans as to just how shitty these American soldiers are behaving abroad -- in an allied country, no less! Consequently, there is also a dangerous level of ignorance among Americans as to just how much damage these shitty behaviors are causing to America's standing in the world. The Korean has previously covered this before in a post about how Koreans perceive the USFK, but it bears repeating: if we can't even keep ourselves from pissing off our allies, what hope do we have of turning our enemies to our friends? How can America be so good at exporting its cultural products, yet so terrible at maintaining good relationship with its friends? 

The Korean will skip the factual history that led to PSY's anti-American outburst -- this Busan Haps piece, which sparked into a Washington Post story (and many more,) should be quite enough to give that background. (Note that it came in response to the war in Iraq, which was none too popular in the U.S. either.) Through this post, the Korean wants you, an American, to do what Americans are so bad at doing: thinking about what how things look from the other side, and trying to process why the world sees us the way they do. Then maybe we might understand why a goofy entertainer, who is otherwise content to rap about partying, came to write such angry lyrics.
Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@gmail.com.

Tuesday, December 04, 2012

Korea's Presidential Election - Part V: The Minor Candidates

Are you a Korean voter? Are you tired of the two party system? Want to seek alternatives, and cast your lot with the unheralded?

This series went over the three major candidates (one of whom withdrew,) but technically this presidential election has a total of seven candidates. Just for fun, here is a quick look at the five minor candidates who usually are not in the spotlight.

Lee Jeong-hee

Lee Jeong-hee [이정희]
(source)
Party:  Unified Progressive Party
Age:  43
Occupation:  Politician (former attorney)
 
Out of the five minor candidates, Lee Jeong-hee is the most "major" candidate -- she represents a Unified Progressive Party, a far-left party that holds six seats (out of 300) in the National Assembly. Before entering into politics, Lee was an attorney for Lawyers for a Democratic Society, a non-profit group promoting civil rights. She is a two-term National Assembly woman, having won her first election back in 2008.

Lee (and her party UPP) is primarily known as being a communist sympathizer. She refuses to condemn North Korean regime's three generation succession, and abstained from voting for the Assembly resolution condemning North Korea for shelling Yeonpyeong Island in 2010. Her major campaign promises include cancellation of the free trade agreement between Korea and U.S. and special law compensating laborers who were subjected to mass layoffs.

(More after the jump)

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@gmail.com.


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